


Heart of Moss

by Redlightsdistrict



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Anger, Angst and Feels, Control Issues, Dominance, F/M, Rough Sex, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:48:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 48
Words: 167,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23549404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redlightsdistrict/pseuds/Redlightsdistrict
Summary: Kisa isn’t looking for love on Love Island. She’s there to win the bet with her ex and get some attention to her music band.She’s determined to make it until the end and win the bloody prize, and she knows that love is off the table for her.But the new arrival is up for a challenge.🌹UPDATED ON SATURDAYS🌹
Relationships: Lucas/Main Character (Love Island)
Comments: 917
Kudos: 479





	1. The Devil’s Smile.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU everyone who’s reading this story, you guys are the best! 
> 
> 🌹Find me on:  
> Insta: booksandreveries  
> Reddit: redlightsdistrict  
> Discord: Kat/redlightsdistrict#0642

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...I thought my demons, were almost defeated  
> But you took their side, and you pulled them to freedom  
> I kept your secrets and I thought that you would do the same..."
> 
> [Demons - Jacob Lee]

__

_  
For the love of God, I’m gonna just stand up, creep down to their bed and choke that snoring piece of shit with Hope’s ugly hair._

Day five started for her way too early, and Kisa felt this urgent need to kick something heavy. Desirably, Noah. Preferably, off the rooftop.

Coming to Love Island was something she deeply regretted, and if she had a chance, she’d go back in time to that very night she and Alex, her psychotic ex-boyfriend and ex-producer, made a deal: if she wins the show, he’s gonna pay her half a milli and get the hell out of her life. If she doesn’t, she and her rock-band are gonna be his bitch for the next three years.

Considering, she had six shots of tequila and three glasses of red, this idea didn’t sound that bad. He filmed her, took a few pics and filled out the questionnaire – and four months and two interviews later, she’s finally here, having the summer of her life.

_If this is life, bury me six feet under._

Tired of Noah’s snoring and Rocco’s sleep-talking, the girl slipped out of the bed and headed to the bathroom.

_It’s not pathetic at all, being a twenty-six-year-old adult, whose ex literally dictates their life._

She looked herself up and down in the mirror. Heavy, dark brown long hair framed her heart-shaped face with large green eyes, high cheekbones, narrow nose, and plump lips. Alex always said she was the most kissable girl he’s ever met. She tight her t-shirt under her chest, exposing soft, fair skin of her stomach, and grabbed a toothbrush.

_I can’t believe I’m still thinking about that son of a bitch. He’s probably having the best time of his life watching me squirm._

But she needed this money. Plain and simple.

_He made three times more on the last deal. I should’ve asked for more because this is hell and I’m a fucking sinner-in-residence._

She walked back into the dressing room and slipped on the black one-piece with deep V-line and cutouts on the sides and tossed her long strands over the shoulder.

_Perfect. Thanks for the genes, jida._

Her grandmother was half-Persian and she gave Kisa her stunning heavy thick hair, eloquent brows and black, voluminous eyelashes that never needed mascara. In no time, she was ready to meet whatever the day was about to throw at her.

She went downstairs, desperately craving coffee, pain killers and at least one drama-free day.

_Otherwise, I’m gonna start slashing those throats if I hear the words ‘girl’ and ‘code’ together ever again._

She stopped dead as she spotted two people hanging out by the pool. She was hidden from their eyes behind a decorative wall covered with ivy. Both of the guys looked pretty excited to be here, and one of them looked very much alike her infamous ex.

Tall, dark-haired, wearing ridiculously expensive Hermes swim trucks… This is the guy she’s gonna be avoiding like the plague. The other guy was constantly smiling, and he looked like someone who enjoys being outdoors.

_Which is a shame since I hate anything requiring walking. Alright, showtime._

“Hey, boys,” Kisa made her way to the pool, making sure both of them have plenty of time to check her out.

She grew into her looks during the senior year of school. She was always tall, almost 5’8, with a fragile yet curvaceous frame and mile-long legs. She used to hate that she was taller than most of the girls but soon she figured out that being taller has its perks. One of them, looking down at pretty much every girl she’s met. She’s been executing her signature look of disdain quite a lot in the last four days.

_Not my fault that they’re all just a bunch of tasteless, whiny little bitches. Well, except Priya. I wish I could just couple up with her, we’d fucking burn this place down._

“Hi, Kisa,” The blond guy smiled at her warmly. “I’m Henrik.”

_I’m gonna call him Ikea because I’d assemble him in no time._

She smirked to herself, turning her gaze to another guy.

_Wow. Someone’s been practicing his ultimate douche lord stare._

“I’m Lucas,” The dark-haired man gave her a smirk. “Wanted us all to yourself?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” She shrugged. “I wanted that coffee machine all to myself.”

Henrik chuckled, somehow amused.

“That’s classic Kisa right there.”

_They think they know me, know us, just because they’ve been watching the show for what, three, four days? They have no idea what it’s like to be here, and they surely have no idea who I am. Though, that’s a good thing, actually._

She let herself relax a bit, and her features softened just enough for her to draw a little smile in the corners of her mouth.

Kisa caught Lucas’ studying gaze and felt her insights doing backflips.

She had no luck in the Villa so far. On day one, she picked Noah only for Hope to swoop in and steal him, leaving Kisa with Bobby who honestly wouldn’t be her type even if he was the last guy on earth. He reminded her of her best friend way too much for that. Then, Priya arrived and stole him from her which Kisa had no problem with. On day three, Rocco picked her, and she knew from the start that it was a huge, dreadful mistake.

_He’s way too focused on himself to actually play the game. He won’t last until the finale. I need someone who understands what this all is about._

She ruled out Bobby – mostly because it was really weird to date someone who is a literal copy of her best friend personality-wise, but also because Priya was really, _really_ into him. And Priya was the only girl she could stand, so Bobby was off-limits. Both Gary and Rahim looked like the ultimate good guys and she didn’t want to lead them on just to steal money from them six weeks later.

That left her with Noah, thus, she picked him.

_Fucking Hope._

Her ridiculous colorful make-up, braids that looked like dead warms, and weird faces she made – that was enough for Kisa to put her on the ‘burn in hell’ list and never miss a chance to piss her off.

Noah looked decent enough to trust him to last until the finale and shady enough to have no problem stealing money from in the end.

_And now, there are two new guys. And one of them is so much my type on paper it’s almost scary. Since my type on paper is narcissistic psychopaths._

Before she could ask any questions, they’ve heard a loud squeal coming from the open bedroom window.

“Priya spotted you,” Kisa smirked. “Brace yourselves, boys, you’re in for a serious grilling.”

“Well, that might explain why it’s so hot in here,” Lucas raised his eyebrow at her, his eyes smolder.

She huffed.

“We have Bobby here, you need to up your game if you want to carry on with these lines.”

Henrik chuckled under his breath, clearly enjoying the moment.

“Mate, she’s got you there.”

“I don’t mind,” Lucas leaned in, whispering into Kisa’s ear. “You can have me anywhere, love.”

Green eyes met brown, and a thrill of electricity ran up the girl’s spine, making the hair bristles stand on the ends. He was dangerous because he wanted her to let go of the control, she felt it. The way he looked at her, she had no doubts: he wants her to fall for him, just like all the other girls he's pulled into his web.

And she’s not giving him the satisfaction

She’s gonna stay away from him because her heart isn’t on sale, not now and, most likely, not ever.

 _But we’d make a stunning couple_ , a weak part of her tried arguing. _It’d be so easy to win this thing with a guy like him._

Kisa could feel his gaze lingering on her skin even when the other girls rushed out of the Villa, tripping over each other.

“Hi, boys!” Marisol batted her eyelashes at the newbies. “You’ve already checked the pool out, haven’t you?” She looked at Henrik.

“I got bored,” He smirked. “And it’s already hot in here.”

“It surely is,” Hope’s gaze lingered on Lucas as she did the math to figure out the entire cost of his outfit.

_Bitch, chill out._

“Thanks for waking us up,” Lottie scowled at her.

“I’m not your bloody alarm clock, Lottie,” Kisa tsked. 

Lucas let out a soft chuckle, clearly amused.

_Am I obliged to stay here with everyone, or can I just go grab my fucking coffee?_

Rocco appeared from the Villa, accompanied by the other guys.

“Morning,” He smiled at her. “Oh, new people!”

_Even a fucking chihuahua holds attention better than this guy._

Two new guys were overwhelmed with the questions and attention, and she found herself smirking. At least, now they won’t just assume that they know shit about her.

“Let’s go to the firepit,” Gary suggested.

_Great, I’m so excited._

“You alright, babes?” Priya wrapped her arm around Kisa’s waist, pulling her closer. “Looking hotter than the Spanish sun, as always.”

They all walked down the stairs.

“Sit with me, babe,” Rocco patted the space next to him.

Lucas and Henrik both looked up at her from their seats on both sides of Gary. Lucas narrowed his eyes at her and curled his lips into a smirk.

“Sorry, Rocco. Keeping her to myself,” Priya flopped down on the bench next to Bobby and patted her lap.

“Can’t say ‘no’ to those thighs,” Kisa grinned, catching several flustered looks and purposely avoiding one very ‘pacific’ smoldering gaze.

She barely listened to the conversation. She didn’t like the way the new guy made her feel. First, she’s here on a mission. Second, and she mentally underlined it twice, guys like him are toxic. At least, for her.

She’s here to make some money and get as much attention to her music band as possible. It’s been almost three years since Kisa left the martial arts center where she taught taekwondo to bored housewives and made music her full-time job, and it turned out, it was way less fun than she expected.

Her band played at least twenty shows each month and yet, they barely made any money off it. Being here was surely a good thing for the band, so she felt twice more pressure to win this bloody thing.

_For Seth, Ilya, and Leo. I’m doing it for my boys._

“What are your numbers?” Bobby’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Spicy,” Kisa smirked at him.

“You know me, I put sriracha to shame.”

Bobby reminded her of Seth, who’s been her best friend since they were eight. Both of them could be mates with literally anyone, both of them hated drama but somehow always ended up in the middle of it, and both shared this silly sense of humor that somehow cracked her right up.

She couldn’t help a little smile building in the corner of her mouth at the thought of her mates. Seth, Ilya, and Leo were her family, she’d do anything for either of them. And she missed them badly.

_Focus. Why are they looking at me?_

“What?” She asked irritably.

“Lucas just said he fancies you,” Priya chuckled, somehow amused.

_Great. Perfect._

“Everyone fancies me,” Kisa shrugged, dragging gasps out of a few islanders. “Tell me something new.”

_Why is he smiling? And why on earth am I blushing?!_

She tossed her hair to the left side to hide her face from Lucas’ gaze. Whatever his plan is, it won’t work on her.

_Who does he think he is?_

She huffed to herself. She’s not giving him another second of her time. He might be hot but he’s also way too self-assured and arrogant and egotistical, and she’s not wishing to become yet another notch in his bedpost. _Hope can have him._

Kisa glanced towards Hope. She looked way too excited about the new guys for someone, whose partner was sitting right there next to her. She followed gaze over the other islanders until she locked it on Rocco.

_I’ve got to do something if I don’t want to get stuck in this couple. There aren’t that many options but he’s not the one I could win this with, so gotta move on, and fast._

Someone’s phone beeped.

“It’s mine,” Henrik looked down at the screen. “Me and Lucas are supposed to pick three girls to go on a date with.”

“In total or each?” Marisol mused.

“Each,” Henrik smirked. “I pick Kisa, Priya, and Lottie.”

“Yes!” Priya high-fived Kisa.

“I’m right here,” Bobby sniggered. “In case you’ve forgotten.”

“Who exactly are you?” Priya raised her eyebrow at him, sending the three of them into a fit of giggling.

“I’ve found my match, haven’t I?” Bobby grinned but there was a glint of vulnerability in his eyes as he waited for Priya’s response.

“You betcha.”

_Fuck you, Nope, here’s the real power couple._

“I’ll date Hope, Priya, and Kisa.”

Lucas met her gaze with a smug grin and slightly raised eyebrow.

“Looks like Priya and Kisa are the order of the day today,” Lottie scowled.

“Every day,” Kisa corrected the blonde girl, her lips stretched into a polite smile.

Priya chuckled into her ear.

Henrik and Lucas got to their feet, ready to leave first. As he walked past her, Lucas stopped before her for a second, looking down at Kisa.

“I bet you won’t be able to say ‘no’ to my thighs once you got a taste.”

Before she could even think of a comeback, he was already gone. She glanced at Bobby, but he was pre-occupied with untangling his mic.

_Who the fuck does he think he is? What kind of line was that… No, I’m not thinking about him. After all, my first date is with Henrik._

Her and Hope’s phones beeped, announcing that they have fifteen minutes to get ready for the date.

 _Yeah, good luck trying to make that look presentable in fifteen minutes,_ she chuckled to herself, watching Hope as she was frantically applying eyeshadows.

For her date with Henrik, Kisa picked a simple black wrap dress and heavy gold rectangle-shaped earrings. The silk fabric cascaded down her curves, outlining her body with each movement.

_Showtime._

Henrik was waiting for her at the table, and he jumped to his feet the moment he saw her.

“Kisa!” He gave her a broad smile. “You look amazing!”

_Wow, he’s enthusiastic._

They sat down, and Kisa glanced to her left. Her gaze traveled down the hill until it came to rest on a couple at the table. Lucas was holding his glass of mimosa, listening to Hope’s chatter. Kisa couldn’t see his face from this angle, but she knew exactly how annoying Hope could be.

_Good. He deserves the suffer. I bet she’s telling him everything about the squiddles and how she’s voted as most likely to become a CEO… What the fuck does that even mean? More like ‘most likely to annoy the shit out of you with my never-ending whining’._

She returned her attention back to Henrik. He was going on and on about high bouldering which sounded like a perfect way to break up with someone – just take them with you and push them off the cliff. A fun, romantic date went tragically wrong, just an unlucky accident.

Kisa smirked to herself as she mentally pushed Alex off the mountain top three times.

“I bet you wouldn’t let me fall,” She gave Henrik a little smile.

“Oh, I’d never let you go.”

_That was well smooth._

“Because if you fall, you’d break your neck.”

_And, it’s gone._

They continued with the chat, but she was bored. Her eyes traveled to another couple yet again just to meet Lucas’ studying gaze. He tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow just slightly as a smirk appeared in the corner of his mouth.

Hastily, Kisa averted her gaze focusing on Henrik.

“Oh, that’s hilarious,” She laughed at his yet another flat joke, casually resting her hand over his.

The blond’s phone beeped announcing the end of the date.

“Thanks for spending time with me,” He smiled at her openly. “I had a really good time.”

_That makes one of us._

Henrik hugged her, and Kisa rushed to her jeep, expertly avoiding Hope.

“Where’s Tim?” She asked the other driver. Tim, her usual driver, was nowhere to be found.

“It’s just me now, we’re short on cars today. You’ll be ridesharing with Hope.”

“Perfect.”

Kisa climbed onto the front sear and kicked off her shoes, stretching her legs onto the dashboard.

“That’s not safe,” The driver commented.

“Only if you keep your eyes on my legs and not on the road,” She raised an eyebrow.

“Classic, Kisa,” Hope’s voice coming from behind her back made Kisa’s back tense. “Can’t go a second without cracking on.”

“I don’t need to crack on, Hope. People actually _want_ me. But you wouldn’t know, since even your current partner didn’t step forward for you.”

That comeback wasn’t new, but it was still good. Plus, it was true. When Hope stole Noah on day one, he didn’t step forward for her – no one did. Technically, Hope didn’t ask them to, but it felt so damn good to still rub it in that ugly face. ‘Pacifically’, because Noah _did_ step forward for Kisa.

On their way back, they met Tim, driving Priya to her double – triple? – date with Lucas and Henrik.

Tim spotted Kisa’s frustrated face and Hope on the back sit and added two and two.

“Hey, Kisa!” He yelped. “I left something for you with Bobby. You know, to say sorry.” He smirked and drove by.

Hope huffed.

“Got something to say, Hope?”

“Exactly the same as everyone else,” She shrugged. “Everyone can see through your act, you’re just as fake as…”

“As your Gucci slippers?” Kisa prompted innocently, making the driver chuckle and cover it with a cough.

Thankfully, the trip was over soon enough. The moment Jeep stopped, Kisa jumped out of the car rushing back into the Villa.

_Why am I so excited to be back? I hate these people._

She walked through the first floor and strutted out of the building, looking around the lawn. Bobby spotted her from the poolside and waved her over.

“Wow,” He whistled. “Looking feisty, Kisa.”

“I’ve heard you got something for me,” She elegantly lowered herself on the coping.

“Hitting hearts as you go?” He smirked at her, handing out her favorite chocolate bar. “By the way, how was the first date?”

She frowned a little.

“That guy has a lot of enthusiasm and a lot of energy. I was like ‘Geez, turn it down a level, Ikea.”

Bobby burst into laughter.

“That’s perfect,” He threw his head back, still giggling. “You know, mean girls usually scare me shitless, but you’re like a good mean girl.”

“Oh, don’t break my heart,” She nudged him with her elbow.

“I guess, I’m just uncomfortable around people who cause a lot of drama.”

“Cos you’re a sissy,” Kisa nodded.

“I’m not!” Bobby looked at her in mock resentment. “Well, maybe, I am. What I mean, is that I’m glad I’ve met you here. I feel like I can trust you, you’re mean but honest to the t.”

“I thought, Lottie’s your BFF,” She eyed him with her studying gaze. “Which is quite weird for someone who doesn’t enjoy the drama.”

He sniggered.

“Touche. But really, it’s really cool being around you. At least, while I’m on your good side.”

Kisa chuckled.

“My Love Island bad side is nothing compared to my actual bad side, trust me.”

“I do not doubt that.”

Thankfully, Bobby didn’t push her for further conversation and the two of them were comfortable with just sitting there, their toes dipped into the water. It was just day five in this place, and if she wants to actually win this bloody thing, she has to brace herself for five more weeks in this so-called paradise.

Having two new guys was nice, but Henrik was way too much for her, she knew it’s gonna take just one day of them being coupled up for her to snap at him. And Lucas was a firm, concrete ‘no.’ His self-assured grin raised a deep desire to punch him right in the smug face which is definitely not a good thing to do if you’re trying to win the game.

It left her with Noah. She knew he fancies her, but Hope had her claws so deep into the poor guy’s back, Kisa was pretty sure it’d end ugly if she goes for him.

_But I have no other choice. Drama’s supposed to be good for the ratings – also, more drama means more people checking out the S.I.L.K. website and social media. I wonder, what Seth and the boys are up to these days…_

“Hiya!” Priya plopped down between Kisa and Bobby, wrapping her arms around both of them.

“Oh, hey,” Bobby smirked at her. “Did you have fun with the new boys?”

“Oh, I surely did,” The older girl licked her lips and winked at him. “Tim’s waiting for you,” She glanced at Kisa.

_Perfect. Can’t wait to see that conceited face again. I hope, they’ll give us some food this time._

Slowly, she went up the stairs to get changed as her dress was all covered with water splashes – _thank you, Bobby. Red silk? Why not? Might as well show him what he’s never gonna get._

It was just a simple knee-length slip-on dress on spaghetti straps, but she knew exactly how well it outlines the contours of her hourglass body. She took off the earrings and changed her shoes to a simple pair of black leather pumps.

_Ready to rock._

This time, she had the car all to herself and allowed herself to relax for a few minutes. Her heart was pounding out of the chest at just the thought of sitting across the table from Lucifer - sorry, Lucas. She didn’t know why she felt so much resentment towards the guy she’s just met. Maybe, it was his eyes. Or his taunting half-smile. Or his self-assurance. Or, maybe, it was the way her insights did the cartwheels when he looked at her.

Or maybe, it was the gut feeling, telling her that he’s the one who’s gonna break her heart if she lets her guard down.

_No, he just got the ‘douche lord’ written all over that chiseled chest and… fuck, why am I thinking about his chest?_

“Go get him, girl!” Tim winked at her as Kisa jumped out of the car.

“Shut up,” She scoffed. “And don’t you dare to make me rideshare with Lottie on the way back.”

The guy chuckled, and she gave him an up-nod before making her way to Lucas’ table. He looked extremely bored and a little tired, but the moment he saw her approaching, his lips curled into a smirk.

“Here’s my dessert.”

His eyes traveled up and down her body, sending a thrill of electricity down the girl’s spine.

“Aren’t you afraid of the cavity, Mr. Doctor?”

He chuckled, pulling the chair out for her.

_Fucking gentlemen._

As they sat down, she spotted a single red rose lying on the table. She was pretty sure it wasn’t there during his date with Hope.

“It’s for you,” Lucas explained casually. “I got bored while they were redoing the table for our date and did some exploration.”

Unconsciously, Kisa brushed her fingers against the stem.

“Ugh,” She gasped, as one thorn pierced through the skin of her fingertip.

Before she could move her hand, Lucas caught her by the wrist and brought her hand up to his face, pressing the injured finger against his mouth. His eyes were locked with hers as he gently brushed his tongue against the sensitive skin, licking off a tiny drop of blood.

For a second, her mind went completely blank, and there was nothing but the warmth of his breath on her fingers, and those dark brown eyes, piercing deep into her insights.

“Is that how you treat your patients?” She snapped out of this weird daze.

“I’ve got no complains,” Lucas smirked, relaxing against the back of his chair.

“So, only restraining orders?” She raised an eyebrow at him, and the man gave out a bark.

“Good one.”

He poured them wine and offered her some nibbles.

“Have you been drinking the entire morning?” She asked, biting into a slice of caramel-dipped apple.

“You would’ve too if you had your first date with Hope,” He grimaced.

“Got no one to blame for that, mate,” Kisa shrugged.

“I thought of it as of a social experiment,” Lucas smirked. “I regret it deeply.”

She let her lips curl into half-grin.

“At least, the dessert is good,” He looked her straight in the eye, biting on a huge juicy strawberry.

_For fuck’s sake._

“I like the way you eat,” She noted casually, as he caught a drop of juice with his tongue.

He stopped, staring at her in confusion for a few seconds. She saw exactly the moment when the realization dawned on him. Lucas let out deep, low laughter that went straight under her skin, sending goosebumps all over her body.

 _Flirting with him wasn’t part of the plan_ , she reminded herself.

_I might need to ask Bobby for a crash course on how to friend-zone people in less than two minutes. He did ridiculously good with Lottie and that ginger sniveler._

“Mind if I ask what is that you’re thinking about?” Lucas’ voice brought her back into the present.

“Why did you pick me for a date?”

_What? That’s not what I was going to say._

He raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for an explanation.

“I mean, Lottie and Marisol were way more up for it than I am. Why don’t pick one of them?”

“Because I don’t care about Lottie and Marisol,” He shrugged.

“So, you care about Hope?”

Lucas frowned, losing his posture for a second.

“No. It was just… curiosity. To check, if she and Noah are for real.”

_Oh, that’s interesting. But I can’t exactly ask him, can I?_

“Priya’s fun so I picked her to just have some chill time before my date with the only person I wanted.” He locked their eyes again. “You.”

Kisa rolled her eyes.

“That’s such a line. I already have Rocco for that.”

Lucas studied her face for a moment too long before speaking up again.

“Alright, I’ve got a question for you.”

“Fire away.”

“Why are you trying so hard to pretend that you don’t like me?”

“It’s not a pretend. I just don’t like you.”

“Okay. Why?”

“Why? What kind of question is that?”

“It’s a normal question to ask when someone says they don’t like you after knowing you for all of five minutes.”

Slowly, she took a sip from her glass, stalling. He wasn’t exactly wrong with his initial question: she knew that she might like him if she spends some time with the guy, and that’s why she deliberately decided to dislike him, though she won’t be admitting this to herself any time soon.

“It’s not really you. It’s the type of guy you are.”

“The type of guy I am? Enlighten me, Kisa, what kind of guy I am?”

His calm, condescending tone threw her off.

“The guy who believes that any girl should feel lucky just because you gave her a second of your precious time. The guy who wants to take you under control, so you have nothing else but him. The guy who’s going to promise the universe but will take all of you with nothing in return. The guy who’s so sure of himself it’s a surprise for him that someone just doesn’t like him.”

She jumped to her feet, pushing the chair out of the way. Her cheeks were bright red with frustration, and her heart was pounding out of her chest when Kisa narrowed her eyes at the man in front of her.

“I wouldn’t like you even if you were the only guy here.”

She spun around on her hills and marched off, barely able to hold in the tears.

_What the bloody hell was that?!_

She whipped under her eyes angrily.

 _Enlighten me, Kisa_ , she huffed under the breath. _Arrogant prat. I hope he gets dumped like tomorrow._

The worst part of being here wasn’t the girls’ constant petty bitching, or the incredible lack of privacy, and not even the fact that she was coupled up with Mr. Dipshit himself. She came here for money, so she knew what she’d signed up for. But… there was this tiny part of her that carried the hope that maybe she’ll actually meet someone here. Someone, who will see right through her. Someone, who won’t promise her the world but would still give it.

And this date – this guy – just reminded her that this will never happen for her. And she hated him for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	2. Cloaked Heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Oh, I've heard all your stories  
> They don't turn me away  
> You know I don't do boring, do you?.."
> 
> [Romantic - WENS]

The welcome party for Henrik and Lucas was in full swing when Kisa has finally strutted out of the Villa, glancing around the lawn, figuring out who she’s going to spend the next couple of hours with. Each group of people had at least one person she’s been trying to avoid, so it was like choosing between bad and bad.

Noah, Hope, and Gary were chilling on the daybeds when the blond guy spotted her.

“Hey, Kisa!” He beckoned her over.

Noah’s eyes darted towards her immediately, and Kisa smirked as the librarian’s stare traveled up and down her body. She was wearing a black linen one piece with deep V-line and even deeper cutouts on the sides that went all the way down to hipbones. A dainty gold chain was wrapped around her neck, with the loose end resting between her breasts.

She flipped her hair back, letting her lips curl into a private smile directed at the librarian.

“Hey,” She gracefully lowered herself on the beanbag between Gary and Noah. “What’s up?”

Kisa casually stretched her arms, feeling Noah’s gaze on the exposed skin just above her belly button.

“Nothing much, just chatting,” Gary shrugged. “With the two new boys in the mix, everyone’s trying to sort out their couples.”

“Have you talked to Rocco?” Noah caught her eyes for a moment. “He seemed a bit off earlier today.”

“Really? How come?”

“You know, less chatty than usual. No stories about traveling to Croatia and skill-sharing with a rabbi,” Gary chuckled.

Hope rolled her eyes.

“Why exactly are we talking about Rocco?”

“Erm, because he’s coupled up with Kisa and we want to know how she’s doing?” Gary raised his eyebrows. “You know, like friends usually do?”

Hope huffed, scowling. Noah’s face brushed with pink color, and he looked down at his feet.

“I didn’t know you and Kisa are friends,” Hope frowned at Noah.

“I’m friends with pretty much everyone,” The librarian looked like he’d rather be somewhere else. “Can we not argue now, please?”

 _Well, this is interesting. Trouble in paradise_?

“Ugh, leave Hope alone,” Kisa said calmly. “She wouldn’t know what friends do, because no one wants to be her friend.”

Gary whistled under his breath.

“And it’s you who’s talking,” Hope looked at her angrily, her face twitched in hate. “No one here likes you.”

“Oh?” Kisa smirked, slowly rising to her feet, making sure each curve of her body is on a display. “Then why can’t your partner take his eyes off me?”

She winked at Noah and sauntered off before Hope could come up with a comeback.

_Suck it hard, Hope._

Suddenly, two strong hands slipped around her waist, pressing her back against someone’s strong, broad chest.

“That was hot,” A familiar sneering voice whispered into her ear, sending shivers down Kisa’s spine. Lucas used her momentary bemusement to brush his lips against her neck, ghosting his hot breath on the sensitive skin.

“The fuck you’re doing?”

She tried to pull away, but Lucas was faster.

“I’d like to, but aren’t you rushing a bit, sweetheart?” He pressed her harder against his firm, chiseled body, closing any space that was left between them. “You can’t be serious about that guy. He’s too… vapid.”

“Yeah? And you’re not, I assume?” Kisa lightly brushed her fingers against his. “Careful, new guy, you have no idea what I can do to you.”

Her voice sounded calm, almost gentle, as she pressed her thumb and index finger firmly at the tip of Lucas' thumb, using her nail to press at the pain spot, making him gasp. He released her immediately, wincing in pain. Kisa turned around and leaned into him, smiling almost friendly.

“Call me a sweetheart again, and it won’t be just your finger.”

She finally let go of his thumb, crossing arms on her chest. Somehow, Lucas looked almost amused, his eyes smolder.

“I’ve got to admit, now I’m really determined to see what else you can do to me,” He gave her a look and wandered off.

_And what the hell was that?_

“Kisa!” Priya’s voice echoed through the lawn. The older girl waved her over from the open kitchen where she, Bobby, Lottie, and Rahim were making cocktails.

“This is grim, Rahim,” Lottie stared into her glass. “What even is that?”

“I call it a Violet Man,” The golfer nodded at Kisa as she walked over.

“A what?” The blonde girl raised an eyebrow at him.

“It’s after my favorite comics hero,” Rahim looked a little deflated. “I told you about him yesterday, during brunch.”

_Yeah, this ship is doomed to stick in the shallow waters._

“So, the tomato slice symbolizes his shield?” Kisa glanced into Lottie’s glass.

“Yes!” Ibrahim beamed at her.

“What, now you’re into comics, too?” The blonde frowned.

“I can’t believe you remembered!” The golf pro looked surprised and really pleased. “Do you want to give it a try, Kisa?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Rahim busied himself with the cocktail, and she walked over to Bobby and Priya. They both smiled warmly at her, and Kisa couldn’t help but smile back. These two were definitely the only two people she genuinely liked, even though sometimes (oftentimes) they drove her mad.

“Pulling out all the hot stops, babe,” Priya grabbed her by the wrist, twirling Kisa to get a better look at the girl’s outfit. “Wow, can I recouple, like, now?”

“Har har,” Bobby grimaced, staring down at his drink.

“Oh, c’mon, mate,” Kisa grinned. “Sharing is caring!” She placed her hand on Priya’s hip, pulling the older girl closer.

Bobby gave in first, bursting into laughter, the girls following suit.

“Kisa, your Violet Man,” Rahim handed her a glass.

“I didn’t get a heart,” Lottie frowned as she spotted a heart-shaped tomato slice on top of it.

“Yeah, well, you can always ask The Wizard of Oz for it,” Kisa suggested, her face innocent as ever.

“What are you…”

“Hey, let’s go sit by the pool!” Ibrahim grabbed Lottie’s elbow, pulling her away from Kat.

“You can’t really go a minute without stirring up the pot, can you?” Bobby frowned just a little.

Kisa took a sip from her glass before lowering her gaze to meet his eyes, as she was now about an inch taller than the baker. Coldly, she noted:

“If you don’t like the way I go, Bobby, you can pass by.”

She put her glass on the table and spun on the heels, leaving the couple to themselves.

 _Well, that wasn’t really friendly,_ she frowned. _But now, he’ll think twice before making comments about my attitude ever again._

She expertly avoided a group of islanders gathered at the pool and went downstairs, hoping to spend some time alone by the firepit. This entire day was a whirlwind and she needed a breather. This whole ‘I’m just here for the money’ thing was doing her head in, she needed at least a few moments of silence, just to hear her own thoughts again.

_Crap._

Rocco and Marisol were sitting by the firepit together, deep in a conversation.

“Oh, hi, Kisa,” Marisol jerked away from Rocco, blushing.

“Hi. I… I’ll just go somewhere else.”

She was ready to leave when Rocco called out for her.

“Kisa!” He jumped to his feet, trailing after her. “Wait! Can we talk?”

The girl nodded, watching Marisol as she went back to the main level. When it was just the two of them, Rocco walked her back to the firepit, and they sat down on the bench. The fire cracking was soothing, and for a moment, Kisa lost herself in the sound. This day felt like a month and she just needed a second to breathe.

“So, how were your dates?” Rocco asked, watching her closely. 

She shrugged.

“Alright, I guess.”

“Just alright?”

“That’s what I said.”

It was hard for her: talking about herself, about her feelings. Opening up. There were just three people she trusted in the world - her boys, her band, her family. People she felt comfortable around. Alex has screwed them up, too, and she still blamed herself for that.

_If I didn’t break up with him, we’d still have a label and a producer. I’ve got to make things right, for them._

“So, you’re not interested in any of the new guys?” Rocco asked. “Marisol heard Hope saying to Noah that you were excited about both of them.”

_Sure, she did._

“Well, you can tell Marisol that listening in on people’s conversations is vulgar and rehashing those conversations to someone else is plain pathetic.”

Kisa flipped her hair over the shoulder, raising the left side of her upper lip in disgust.

“But honestly, whatever. I’m tired and don’t want to gossip.”

Rocco looked a bit deflated. He rubbed the back of his neck, lowering his eyelashes.

“I didn’t mean to offend you… It’s not gossiping, I just wanted to figure where your head’s at.”

_Right, of course. Everyone here loves talking about this kind of thing. But isn’t it quite obvious from the way people behave?_

“Look, I told you this before: I don’t open up to people just like that,” She snapped her fingers. “If that’s a problem for you, just tell me.”

“No!” Rocco grabbed her hand. “No, I get it. It’s just… I think you’re stunning and I’d like to get to know you.”

He leaned into her, planting his lips onto her mouth. The kiss was short but sweet, and Rocco beamed at her as they pull apart a little.

“Right, that was nice.”

_Glad to be of service._

Kisa sighed, brushing her fingers against Rocco’s arm.

“Sorry, I’m not as easy as the other girls.” She looked up, noticing the others started making their way back into the Villa. “I guess, we should go back.”

Rocco entwined their fingers together as they walked up the stairs. As they made their way across the lawn, Kisa spotted Lucas. He and Henrik were still hanging out by the pool. Lucas caught her gaze and grinned before returning his attention to Henrik.

 _He thinks he’s so irresistible,_ Kisa huffed under her breath. _I bet he’s done that little trick from earlier with a hundred girls._

For a second, she felt the sensations of his strong grip around her waist but shook it off quickly. She doesn’t care about how many girls he’s been with, and she surely won’t let this happen again. He can’t just touch her whenever he feels like it and…

_And what on Earth am I thinking about?_

She went up to the girls’ dressing room to change into her PJs, a black silk nightgown shirt and shorts. She grabbed her caddy and shuffled into the bathroom, almost stumbling into Priya.

“Oh, sorry,” She frowned a bit. After all, she snapped at Priya’s guy.

“No worries, babe,” Priya gave her a smile and pushed herself up to sit on the vanity. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Kisa sighed and turned round to face the older girl.

“Sorry for snapping at you guys earlier. I didn’t mean to.”

Priya waved her hand dismissively.

“Don’t be silly. Bobby was just being dramatic about how much he dislikes the drama.” She rolled her eyes. “That boy has no common sense, honestly. Every time I see him and Lottie, I’m like “bitch, I’m right here.”

“They’re just friends though, you know that.”

“I’m not jealous… I mean, I am, but not like romantically,” Priya frowned. “I just don’t get it, why he’s willing to spend time with literally everyone but not me? I thought he liked me but I’m not so sure anymore.”

Priya suddenly cut herself off, frowning.

“What am I like? Whining about a guy like a complete Hope.”

Kisa chuckled, wrapping her arm around the older girl’s waist.

“You know, you can always dump him and get right on me.”

They both giggled, resting their bodies against one another’s.

“I’m so glad I’ve found you here,” Priya said softly. “I was pretty scared coming in here, you know? I’m older than the other girls, but also, like, I’ve never been able to get along with anything female.”

“Well, that did sound a bit weird,” Kisa stroke a strand of hair out of Priya’s face and tucked it behind the girl’s ear. “But I get it. I literally have only three friends and they’re all guys.”

“I’m glad we’ve found each other,” Priya gave her a wink. “Let’s head to bed, hopefully, tomorrow will be better.”

Kisa looked at her unused toothbrush.

“I’ll follow you there.”

When she was finally alone, the girl closed her eyes for a moment. She had so much going on, she was pretty sure her head’s going to explode at some point. Half of the time she didn’t know what she was doing, and the other half she just did something stupid.

Kisa slowly opened her eyes and turned to the sink, happy for this quiet moment she had to herself, even it was just for two minutes that she’s brushing her teeth.

She turned the tap on and lowered her face, cupping her hands and scooping the cold water up. At home, she gave her face those ice baths almost every day and she missed the almost burning sensation of ice on the sensitive skin. She washed her face and felt up for a towel. A soft chuckle made her freeze for a moment.

“Let me help you,” Lucas’ voice sounded too close for comfort, and she immediately snapped her eyes open, wincing in pain.

“Couldn’t you just wait for your turn?” She snatched the towel out of his hand.

“It’s a communal bathroom,” He looked pretty pleased with himself, a cocky grin was playing in the corners of his mouth as he started brushing his teeth.

Kisa dried her face and grabbed an eye cream from her caddy, determined to finish getting ready for the night without further drama. She lightly tapped some cream under her eyes, knowing that without it she’ll be sporting huge undereye bags in the morning and started brushing her hair.

Lucas splashed his face with cold water and grinned at her.

“Can you not?” She scowled.

“What?”

“You look like you’re about to say something that will piss me off and make me drown you right in this sink. So, I’m asking you to spare me the money I’d need to spend on a criminal defense attorney and keep it to yourself.”

Man’s eyebrows raised in amusement.

“You are something.”

He said nothing else, rummaging through his caddy as Kisa screwed a heavy lid off the jar to put on some moisturizer.

“Share?” He glanced at her.

“Are you asking or demanding?”

“Whichever gets you going, love,” Lucas smirked, and Kisa rolled her eyes at him.

She extended her hand, letting him scoop up the cream before turning round to look in the mirror. Lucas followed suit, leaning over her shoulder to look in the mirror.

She stopped for a moment, as his warm chest pressed firmly against her back. Kisa watched his hands slowly working their way up the guy’s face as he applied the moisturizer.

“You’ve missed a spot,” Lucas caught her gaze in the mirror. Before she could respond, he dipped his fingers into the open jar. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.”

With the gentlest touch, he traced his index and middle fingers across her cheekbone, making Kisa’s skin tingle wherever she felt his touch. The girl watched him in the mirror, her mind completely shut down; she couldn’t even bring herself to make him stop. Finally, he moved slightly away, his lips stretched into a smug grin.

“Night, Kisa.”

He left her alone swaying and confused with her own reaction.

_What kind of game is he playing?_

She frowned until a thought dawned on her. Kisa gathered her stuff and winked at her reflection in the mirror.

_If he wants to play, let’s play._


	3. Clear Blue Sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kisa's singing The Only by Sasha Sloan

The beautiful scenery of the Spanish hills still somewhat blurry because of the morning fog caught Kisa’s breath and took it away for a second as she walked up to the roof terrace. The hills we’re still covered with the morning fog. Kisa was usually the one to wake up early even though she was also the one to fall asleep last. This place was so peaceful in moments like this, she could really see herself moving to one of the nearby islands sometime in the future. Maybe, even here.

It was a silly dream, considering, she also wanted to be on the covers with her band after they played a show in Madison Square Garden. Sometimes, she felt like there were two people living inside of her, one this angsty and moody teenager with trust issues, and the other, an eighty years old crone who’s done with people and just wants some peace.

Kisa slowly lowered herself on the bench, cradling Gia, her guitar, in her arms. She barely had time for her music in this place, and she’s been missing the feeling of strings under her fingertips. She was usually the one to write lyrics for S.I.L.K. along with the base melody.

She slowly brushed her fingers against the strings, evoking soft quiet sounds.

 _“_ _I can't be the only one_ _  
Who's lonely tonight”_

Her voice sounded a bit raspy after the sleep, and she took a mental note to remember this feeling in her throat: in combination with her soft, melodic mezzo-soprano it sounded almost tearfully like it took all of her strength not to cry.

 _“_ _I can't be the only one_

_Who's drinking 'by myself  
Wishing that I was somewhere else  
Talkin' to voices in my head  
Because at least they're listening”_

The soft guitar riffs filled up the air, sending shivers all over her body. This was a familiar feeling, she got it every time she was left alone with her music, and it was so peaceful way up here, it was easy to forget that she has just a few more moments of this bliss.

_“Don't even know where I would go_

_But I know that there's gotta be somebody out there  
There's gotta be somebody somewhere  
Who needs company  
And it's comforting to know”_

It was easy to forget how much she doesn’t belong here, how much she doesn’t belong almost everywhere she goes. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt safe being around people, being with someone… after all those broken relationships and hate and pain, she wasn’t even sure she ever knew what it’s like, to just feel like you belong, like you’re worthy...

Like there’s an actual person out there who won’t use her and then just throw away like an old ragdoll.

 _“_ _One with nobody to call_ _  
This city makes me feel so small  
A million people in this town  
But I could scream without a sound”_

Something must be wrong with her; it has to be. If she only attracts those who treat her like garbage, who sees her for nothing that she is, who’s determined to take her all and then walk all over her… There must be something inside of her that makes people treat her like that. Not just Alex, everyone… Alex wasn’t even in top-three. He was a complete dick and he screwed up her band but at least, he wasn’t the one because of whom she got into mental rehab for four months.

 _“No, I can't be the only one_ _  
Who's lonely  
No, I can't be the only  
The only…”_

Softly, she ran her fingers against the strings one last time before putting the guitar aside. She’s never performed this song, not even to her band. It was just too… raw. Too close to home. Too vulnerable. It was everything she didn’t want to feel, everything she’s been trying so hard to hide from everyone, but mostly, from herself. She didn’t want to be this weak defenseless little girl who’s still dreaming of being saved.

“That was beautiful,” A voice coming from across the roof terrace made her body freeze with tension as she turned to look at the intruder.

Lucas was leaning against the ivy-covered wall, his hands crossed on his chest. It was the first time he didn’t have his signature grin going on and his face looked almost serious. He walked over and plopped down on the bench next to her.

“I don’t remember inviting you to join me.”

He let out a chuckle, but his eyes stayed serious. It was a pretty funny combination: this serious face and his ruffled hair with the gel residue and his pajama pants with little polo players. He looked almost… humanly.

“What?” He raised an eyebrow as the girl’s stare lingered on his hair. “I-I didn’t have time to fix my hair yet.” Lucas frowned just a little, and his hand unconsciously darted up to fix the tangled strands.

Before he could do anything, Kisa grabbed him by the wrist.

“It’s better like this,” She explained. “Makes you look a bit more like a normal human being.”

“Oh, does it?”

A little grin appeared in the corners of his mouth, and the girl huffed: _and, he’s back_.

“A much as I enjoyed hanging out with you first thing in the morning… which I pretty much didn’t… I need to take a shower before everyone else’s up and we’re out of hot water, again.”

Lucas chuckled to himself.

“Well, I’m looking forward to more moments like this.” He casually put an arm on the fence behind Kisa’s back. “Because I surely enjoyed it.”

Maybe, it was just way too early, and she barely had any sleep tonight, but she somehow didn’t feel the need to put him back in his place. It was actually somehow comforting, feeling the warmth of his strong, firm body so close but not too close. She could’ve moved just a little to her left if she wanted his hand to brush against her back – or, she could’ve just leave and tell him to get lost. Either would do at this point.

Suddenly, he let out soft laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“You. Your face. It’s like you’ve been thinking whether to tell me to go screw myself or not. It’s rather cute.”

She grimaced.

“It’s not exactly Sophie’s choice. And if it was, the movie would’ve been two seconds long.” Kisa grabbed her guitar. “Go creep on someone else.”

She turned around and marched off, pleased with the way she handled herself. For a moment, she thought that maybe there’s something more to him than this posh self-assured ultimate dickhead, but he’s proven her wrong.

_The only reason he’s still creeping around is that I didn’t give in. He sees the way other girls look at him and he’s bored with having no challenge. The only reason he wants me is that I’m not into him, and he surely thinks of himself as a hunter._

Kisa smirked to herself, as she walked into the girls’ dressing room to grab her caddy and a towel.

_But two can play this game. I wonder how he’d like to be the prey._

She stepped into the shower stall and turned on the tap, letting the steam to consume her.

 _But why not_ , she asked herself. _He looks like an ultimate player, so it wouldn’t be exactly hard to steal the money from him. Also, because he’s a player, he knows the drill and wants to win, too. And even if it’s him who wins the money in the end… I’d still have half a milli from our bet with Alex._

She could hear loud voices coming from behind the bathroom door: this was her moment gone. She has to walk outside and face the others and pretend that she cares about their petty little drama. She just wished she could call Seth and talk to him, just for one minute, just to hear his voice. He would’ve known what to do, like he always does.

He was always the one to pick up the pieces left of her after yet another heartbreak, and he was the one to literally show up at her door at three in the morning with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a huge box of strawberry tarts from Gatineau bakery in another.

_And he was the one to tell Alex what kind of shit he is…_

Kisa smiled to herself, leaning her back against the cool tiles. They’ve been friends for eighteen years, if anyone could help her to fix this mess that her head was, it’d be her Seth. 

_I can’t just hide here forever. Time to face the music._

Kisa finished getting ready just before the other girls crowded the dressing room. She picked a bloody-red tiger stripe one piece and styled her hair into soft waves, cascading down her shoulders and back all the way down to waist.

Hope glanced at her, a look of concern on her face.

_Oh, right, Noah admitted he has this thing for girls wearing red color._

Kisa gave the other girl an almost sympathetic look as she watched her pulling yet another tacky cheetah print swimsuit out of her suitcase.

_I wonder what she looks like at her job. There’s no way any company would allow their brand ambassador to dress like a streetwalker. Yesterday’s clear plastic heels were just… out of this world._

She flipped her hair back, letting the heavy voluminous strands slice the air, and winked at Hope.

“I wonder if the _boys_ are already downstairs.” With these words and a playful smirk she left the other girl and made her way to the kitchen.

“Morning!” Bobby spun aground at the sound of Kisa’s footsteps. “I’m making pancakes!”

“For Lottie?” Kisa furrowed an eyebrow.

“Erm, no?” Bobby looked a little taken aback. “For everyone.”

He gave her a studying look before putting a plate with two fluffy pancakes all drowned in maple syrup – just the way she liked it.

“Thanks, Bobby.”

She hungrily tucked in, a little embarrassed of her yesterday’s behavior. He was so much alike Seth, even his constant need for everyone’s approval, and that was the reason her best friend was never able to keep a girl. He was way too invested in making everyone else happy to actually have time for his partner. And Bobby was exactly the same, even worse.

_And Priya deserves so much better than this._

Kisa let out a soft sigh: it wasn’t her place to talk about other people’s relationships.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Bobby flopped down next to her, watching the girl as she devoured the pancakes in just a few bites.

“Nothing, really,” She shrugged. “Have you seen Priya?”

“Yeah, they’ve invited her to the Beach Hut.”

Before they could continue, Lottie and Marisol walked out of the Villa and sauntered toward the kitchen. Kisa rolled her eyes but said nothing as the blondes approached them.

“Morning,” Marisol nodded. “You’re making pancakes, Bobby?”

“Yep,” He rushed back to the oven. “Next batch will be ready in a moment!”

Lottie walked over to him, cuddling Bobby.

“I’m gonna do the designs,” She winked at him, with her hand still wrapped around his waist.

_Priya’s pretty chill but for fuck’s sake, is he blind?_

She shook her head slightly, reminding herself that Bobby is an adult and if he wants to fuck things up, it’s his right to do so.

_Priya would look cute with Noah if he wasn’t so weird. Or Lucas, actually. That guy looks straight up her alley, and they’d look so hot together… It’s Bobby’s luck she actually likes him a lot._

“Where are the new guys, actually?” Lottie wondered.

“Henrik took the boys for an early morning gym session,” Bobby shuddered in pretend horror. “And I haven’t seen Lucas today yet.”

Kisa had to bite her tongue not to make a snarky comment about the dark-haired man. It won’t do any good if others will be informed on the state of their relationship.

_You have no relationship with him. He’s just creeping on you a bit for fun._

Her phone beeped.

“Uh-oh,” Bobby looked at the screen over her shoulder. “Ugh, they just invited you to the Beach Hut. Nothing interesting. I’ll wash it up for you,” He nodded at her plate.

“Thanks,” She smiled at him and grubbed her mug.

**Good morning, Kisa. How do you feel after last night?**

“Okay?” She wasn’t sure what they wanted to hear. “It was a pretty quiet evening.”

**You went on a date with both Lucas and Henrik. What do you think of them?**

“I think Henrik is very sweet. He’ll fit right in, he has a friendly personality and he’s fun to be around.”

**What about Lucas?**

“Lucas is… interesting.”

**Do you think your head could be turned by any of the new boys?**

“It’s still early days, I don’t know either of them well enough. I’m with Rocco now and I’m not going to graft massively on someone else. It’s not me.”

**How are things between you and Rocco?**

“We’re taking it slow. It’s only day six, and I’m not hearing the wedding bells yet. But I’m willing to see how this goes and I’m not jumping off this ship.”

When the interview was finally done, she hurried to leave and bumped right into Noah.

“Oh, Kisa,” He blushed a little as his eyes took her in. “Hi.”

She cocked her head to the side, giving him those bedroom eyes, she’s perfected through the years.

“Hi, Noah,” She bit her lower lip gently at him. “Are you next up for the execution?”

The librarian chuckled but his eyes stayed serious.

“I was actually looking for you. Can we talk?”

“Sure, lead the way.”

They’ve made their way up to the roof terrace in silence. Noah looked like he’s either going to throw up or just straight up jump out of the window any minute now. Last time she saw this look on his face was on their first day in the Villa, a moment before he stepped forward for her.

“I-I’m sorry if I come across a bit weird,” Noah frowned a bit as they settled on the bench. “After last night, I’m just… Well, me and Hope had a chat…”

“And how is it any of my business?”

“We’ve talked about you.”

“Oh?”

She looked him in the eyes, trying to figure out the guy in front of her. On the surface, he seemed like a decent guy, a bit quiet and passive, but overall, not a prick. But the more time she spent around him, the more she doubted this first impression. On day one, she picked him exactly because of this weird vibe he had to him, she figured, it’d be easier to lead him on if her suspicions confirmed.

But then, Hope stole him and had the audacity to be mean to Priya for coming in later to do exactly the same: steal one of their men. Even though Kisa didn’t mind the new girl taking Bobby from her, part of her wanted Priya to go for Noah, just to piss off Hope.

Partly, it was the reason Kisa herself never missed an opportunity to flirt with the librarian whenever this crazy possessive bin of waste was around.

She drew her attention back to Noah.

“Hope knows I-I fancied you… I mean, I still do.”

_He’s really putting it out there._

“Okay.”

Kisa looked expectedly at the guy. He seemed genuinely nervous as he continued, and it softened her just a little.

“So, I’m not saying I want to dump Hope or something but… would you be, erm, interested in… seeing how it goes? Between you and me, I mean.”

_I wonder what exactly Hope told him that made him get his head out of his ass. But it is interesting, right? And it’s kinda what I wanted, isn’t it?_

“I’d like to see where it goes,” She brushed her fingers lightly against his arm, lowering her voice to almost purring.

“Yeah?” He smiled shyly at her.

“Yes.”

Kisa slowly leaned closer, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. His skin was hot against her lips and he smelt like honey and spice. Noah carefully traced his thumb across her cheekbone before pulling away with a sigh.

“I wish we could just stay here.”

“I wouldn’t mind that honestly.”

She didn’t lie: just the thought of going back to the others made her stomach tie in a knot. 

“Is someone up there?” Marisol’s voice coming from the lawn made them both jerk away from each other.

“I guess, that’s our cue.”

Kisa gave Noah a small smile, the one she knew her fans loved the most. It looked private, like a smile you give to someone you have a shared secret with.

“I’ll see you later.”

She slowly crossed the roof terrace giving the guy plenty of time to see everything he wanted to see before she disappeared behind the door. This little chat left Kisa pretty pleased with herself: she didn’t graft on Noah, he came to her himself, so Hope can die mad.

She strolled out of the Villa with a little smug grin in the corners of her mouth, searching for Priya or at least Bobby to hang out with.

“Hey, Kisa!” Henrik waved her over to the beanbags to join him, Lucas and Lottie.

_Ugh, great._

She reluctantly made her way to the beanbags.

“Hey, guys,” Kisa gracefully lowered herself on a beanbag next to Lucas, stretching out her legs. “What’s up?”

“Lottie’s been interviewing us about our relationship history,” Henrik smirked.

“How else I would know if any of you worth my attention?” The blonde raised an eyebrow at him.

_Oh, lord. She’s really asking for it…_

Kisa had to bite down on her lip to stay silent. Lucas grinned and leaned over to whisper.

“I feel your struggle,” He winked at her, and Kisa chuckled softly.

“So, what’s your idea of a perfect first date?” Lottie asked.

“I like something outdoorsy,” Henrik smiled. “It’s both a workout and an opportunity to get to know someone.”

“And also, a great way to test your new deodorant,” Kisa mused, sending everyone into a fit of giggles. Even Lottie’s reserved expression softened a little.

“Fair play, Kisa,” Henrik glanced at her somehow amused. “I take it, you’re not a sporty one?”

“You don’t know?” Lottie suddenly interrupted. “She used to teach martial arts.”

Kisa gave Lottie a studying look: it’s been revealed on day two when they played Two Truths and a Lie, but she didn’t expect the blonde to remember. They weren’t exactly mates… they weren’t really on speaking terms even.

Lucas sniggered.

“Yeah, Henrik, I bet she can do parkour and literally climb up the walls and all.”

Everyone’s eyes were suddenly looking at her, and Kisa smirked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” She thought for a moment. “But just because I enjoy kicking asses, doesn’t mean I’d do it on a first date with someone.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Lottie nodded. “You don’t want to make the other person think that you care only about having a good time yourself.”

“I’m rather traditional in this matter,” Lucas noted. “A nice restaurant with good food and good conversation, and I’m not being funny but…” He raised an eyebrow at Kisa. “Just imagine sitting across the table from Kisa.”

“Yeah, in your dreams,” She gave him a little wink.

“Oh, trust me, love, in my dreams, we’re not wasting time talking,” He whispered into her ear when Lottie turned her attention back to Henrik.

_Oh, please._

“Yeah? Well, we might as well start practicing not talking while awake, too.”

She really didn’t mean to be rude. But something about this smug, self-assured face and haughty voice just pushed her buttons. He just rubbed her the wrong way. Even if he wasn’t like this in real life, he was insufferable here and she just couldn’t resist the urge to put him in his place.

Lucas didn’t answer, but neither he looked any less self-righteous. If anything, he seemed mildly amused. Kisa huffed, turning her attention back to Henrik and Lottie who went deep into discussion of homemade ointments.

“Let’s leave the lovebirds to it,” Lucas suggested extending his hand. “I could actually do with some coffee.”

Kisa’s aching head was right there with him, so she slowly rose to her feet ignoring Lucas’ hand. He chuckled to himself.

“I’m not going to bite off your hand, you know.”

“And I’m pretty capable to walk without assistance, you know.”

They made their way to the empty kitchen, and Lucas busied himself making coffee while Kisa grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and some milk from refrigerator. Lucas loaded the coffee machine and turned round to face the girl. Her soft waves were covering half of her face, making it impossible to see if she’s watching him.

“How was your chat with Noah earlier?”

Kisa almost spluttered, tossing her hair back.

“What?”

“It’s a small Villa,” Lucas shrugged. “You’re not really alone, like, ever.”

Her mind went racing while she used up all he strength to keep her face straight. This chat with Noah wasn’t really that big of a deal, at least, it wouldn’t be if he wasn’t coupled up with Miss Jealouser who’d bite off Kisa’s head for just looking at Noah if she could.

“How is this any of your business?” She asked casually.

“Well, I’m here on Love Island and I’ve mentioned I might fancy you a little,” He gave her a playful smirk.

“A little?” She arched an eyebrow at him in mock desperation. “Oh, no, I thought you’re completely in love and will propose before the end of the week.”

Lucas rolled his eyes but there were devilish sparkles playing in his dark brown eyes. He added cinnamon stars and slices of orange into the mugs before carefully pouring coffee.

“It looks weird.”

“Don’t judge it before you try it,” He took a seat across the table from her.

_So, what, now he decided to keep a distance?_

They sipped on coffee in silence, enjoying a few moments of peace before someone gets a text and their lives will turn into complete chaos. And it was a surprisingly good coffee.

“Wanna tell me about yourself?” Kisa asked nonchalantly, cradling the mug in her hands.

If her request surprised him, Lucas’s face didn’t change even a bit as he shrugged.

“Well, I’m a physiotherapist from Oxford, but you already know that.”

_I so much don’t. I had no idea he’s from Oxford, too._

“I was asking about you, not your job.”

Lucas put down his mug giving Kisa a long studying look as if he wasn’t sure if she’s serious or not. She felt her skin prickling with goosebumps under this intense stare, as if his gaze was physically _tangible -_ like it could actually _touch_ her skin.

Before he could reply, Kisa’s phone beeped.

“Wanna do the honors?” She offered. “Yelling on top of my lungs isn’t…”

“Isn’t a part of your femme fatal character?” Lucas smirked, making Kisa scowl. “Guys! Kisa’s got a text!”

The islanders came running, and she rolled her eyes: who fucking cares this much about another stupid challenge or whatever. Marisol and Rocco were the last to join everyone in the kitchen.

“Hiya,” Priya nudged Kisa playful on the shoulder. “I’m having hots just looking at you!”

Lucas raised an eyebrow at her, somehow amused.

“What?” The dark-haired girl shrugged. “Can’t a girl have a horn for her bestie without being judged?”

Gary spluttered spinning round to look at the girls.

“I thought, there was a text,” Rocco didn’t look much impressed.

W _ell, I kinda sneaked out of the bed before the sunrise and never came to find him later. But it’s not like I’ve massively grafting or something… which is really sad, since I don’t even like the guy._

“Yeah, we should all go to the challenge stage for a Kiss and Tell challenge… wow, this title sucks,” She huffed under her breath.

“They all do,” Lottie agreed, as everyone made their way to the lower level.

“You okay?” Priya wrapped an arm around Kisa’s neck, pulling her closer. “Haven’t seen you today. What’ve you been up to?”

Kisa shook her head slightly.

“Later.”

“Oi!” Bobby pulled on a haughty expression. “You can’t keep secrets from us!”

“Us?” Kisa raised an eyebrow at him.

“Us,” He nodded.

Priya rolled her eyes but her lips were curled into a smile.

“You can’t keep secrets from me and he’s kinda my sidekick, so… yeah, us.”

All three of them burst into laughter, and Kisa felt the tension in her shoulders disappear just a little. This challenge had, as usual, the best and worst timing possible and she really didn’t know what to do.

Hope’s phone beeped.

“Okay, you lot, this is a girls vs boys challenge,” She pointed at the stack of cards. “Each card has a fact about one of us, each team has to guess who it’s about and kiss that person. The winning team gets a cocktail party tonight.”

“So, we can literally kiss a bunch of people?” Rocco chimed in.

“No, the point is to kiss the person who’s most likely to do what the card says,” Lottie frowned.

“He’s way too eager,” Priya whispered to Kisa.

“It’s just a challenge,” Kisa shrugged.

“Ladies first!” Hope grabbed a card. “I’ve got to kiss the guy who spent 500 pounds on a first date.”

“Gotta be Lucas,” Lottie glanced towards the boys who gathered together for a discussion. “I’ve never met anyone so posh in my life.”

Kisa frowned just a little.

“Just because he has money doesn’t mean he spends it like that.”

“Yeah, that’s a good point,” Marisol nodded. “We should also think about which of these guys would do something like that.”

“Rocco would’ve sold his truck just to impress a hot girl,” Lottie scowled.

“I think it’s Lucas,” Hope batted her eyelashes at the physiotherapist. “Alright, we’ve decided.”

Kisa couldn’t look away when Hope rushed to the other side of the stage. She gave Lucas a derisive look when his body tensed at the realization that Hope’s coming for him… but just thinking about them kissing felt… wrong.

_For fuck’s sake, it’s Hope. It’s just… gross._

Hope rose on her tiptoes and leaned in to give Lucas a kiss on the lips. He pulled away almost immediately.

“Sorry, Hope, not me,” He caught Kisa’s stare, and she averted her gaze immediately.

“It’s Rahim,” Kisa smiled at the golfer.

“What?” Marisol looked up at her, surprised. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Ibrahim smiled shyly. “I guess, I just want people to have a good time.”

“Is it too late to recouple?” Priya grinned at him before turning to Bobby. “Kidding, Bob, I’m leaving you for Kisa, that’s, like, settled already.”

Bobby rolled his eyes: “Maybe _I’ll_ leave you for Kisa.”

“How Kisa knows and I don’t?” Lottie frowned a little.

“Kisa’s friends with the boys,” Priya shrugged. “I recon, we should delegate all the decisions to her.”

“Okay, girls didn’t guess so it’s our turn,” Bobby grabbed one of the cards and blushed. “Oh, getting spicier. This girl once gave a private dance to a complete stranger for a dare.”

_It’s just in my blood, isn’t it?_

The girls huddled closer together.

“I think it’s either Kisa or Lottie,” Marisol furrowed an eyebrow. “They both have this vibe.”

“Vibe?” Lottie scowled. “What, did Rocco bite you or something?”

“No, I’m actually interested what kind of vibe do you think I have,” Kisa’s voice was dangerously calm.

Hope jumped in between them.

“Guys let’s just move on with the challenge. Who was it then?”

Kisa shrugged.

“It’s me.”

Marisol huffed: “And that’s exactly what I thought.”

“Shut up, Marisol,” Priya waved at her. “You’re digging yourself into an early grave right now.” She turned to the boys. “Alright, guys, we’re ready.”

Bobby slowly walked over to the girls, still blushing.

_He’s adorable. I bet Priya has plenty of fun coming up with the new ways to make those cheeks go all shades of red._

Bobby stopped before the girls.

“So, it was between two of the girls, but I’ve seen Lottie’s dance moves so… probably, not her.” He looked Kisa dead in the eye and closed the space between them in two steps. “We think it’s you.”

He grinned at her, placing a hand on the small of her back, pulling Kisa in. It was quick but surprisingly good.

“You weren’t wrong,” She smirked at Bobby’s even redder than before face. “Also, lucky girl Priya.”

“I didn’t just couple up with him for the cupcakes,” The older girl gave Bobby a little private smile and he beamed at her.

_I really need to win this but… they’re just so good together._

She watched the game carry on for a few more rounds. Both Gary and Henrik kissed her for their turns, Lottie kissed Rahim and Priya went for Noah which predictably ended up in a ten-minutes scene.

“For fuck’s sake, Hope,” Kisa growled. “It’s a stupid challenge. How’s Priya kissing Noah is any different than you kissing Lucas or anyone else kissing someone else’s partner? The kiss lasted for what, two seconds? It’s not about you, so please, zip it already and let’s carry on.”

“Does anyone mind if I take a turn?” Lucas raised an eyebrow.

“Sure, mate, go ahead,” Noah patted his shoulder, sending Kisa a grateful look.

“This girl has been caught having sex in a bathtub on an A-list celebrity yacht by a paparazzi.”

The boys gathered closer to discuss.

“I think, it’s Kisa. She’s literally in a music band so she must know a lot of celebrities,” Lottie seemed to be way friendlier which made Kisa a bit uncomfortable.

Kisa grinned.

“Busted.”

“I want the full story!” Priya whispered loudly. “Okay, boys, we’re ready.”

Lucas stopped before the girls, his smoldering eyes traveled from one girl to another. Finally, his gaze stopped at Kisa, and her stomach did a cartwheel as he curled his lips into a grin. Without a word, he walked straight to her. His hands caressed her sides as Lucas enveloped the girl in his arms, pulling into an over-the-top movie kiss. He lowered her back, holding a strong grip of her, and pressed his mouth against her lips.

Kisa closed her eyes for just a second, but it was enough for those stupid fireworks to explode under her closed eyelids and her knees to go weak. Her heart skipped a beat, and she halted the kiss by pressing her hand firmly against Lucas’ chest. He slowly pulled her back up, his eyes locked with her own.

“That was so much better than talking,” He gave her a smirk and walked back to the other boys.

 _What the hell was that,_ she frowned to herself.

She isn’t one of those girls who daydream about a Prince Charming and a never-ending love with all the shebang. It’s not real, and it’s not something that might happen on a cheesy TV show. Deep in her thought, she missed the moment when everyone suddenly went silent staring somewhere behind her back.

Kisa turned round and stopped. Rocco and Marisol were kissing, completely lost to the others. The kiss went on and on until Lucas cleared his throat.

“I think, that’s enough.”

Rocco and Marisol pulled apart, both blushing and panting.

“What the hell was that?” Lottie scowled.

“Yeah, haven’t we agreed on Ibrahim?” Hope added.

“I just wanted to carry on with the game,” Marisol shrugged, giving Kat a smug look. “It’s just a challenge, right? We all had to kiss someone else’s partner, right, Kisa?”

Priya squeezed Kisa’s hand.

“Oh, so that was a kiss?” Kisa made a surprised face. “I thought, you were trying to remove all the plaque he has from those sickening smoothies and cheap food he eats.”

A few people coughed trying to cover up the laughter, and Priya winked at Marisol.

“You still have time for a career shift, babe. You know, dental services, plumbing…”

Kisa chuckled to herself, squeezing her friend’s hand even tighter. She didn’t care about Rocco acting like a complete trash, but it was about disrespect, and she wasn’t the one to forget and forgive it.

“Let’s just carry on,” Henrik suggested.

Rocco grabbed a card. He barely looked at it before making his way to the girls. He walked straight to Marisol, pulling her into another kiss. Everyone stopped. No one knew what to say or do, even Kisa could just stand there, watching these two get off with each other.

Suddenly, Lucas crossed the stage and grabbed at Rocco’s shoulder. The older guy’s face was twisted with disgust and barely contained rage, and his voice was filled with ice-cold anger.

“Are you two done with your cheap show?” His eyes went completely black as he stepped closer, looking down at Rocco with revulsion. “Get out of here. And if you don’t want to introduce your absurd face to this decking, stay away from Kisa.”

“Wow,” Priya shook her head at Marisol in disbelief. “You’re not exactly my favorite in here, but I never thought you’d turn out to be so… shoddy.”

“These two were just using the challenge to get off with each other,” Lottie scowled. “And we had to just stand and watch.”

“We?” Bobby raised an eyebrow at her. “Kisa and Gary had to watch it.” He squeezed Gary’s shoulder. “I think, we’re done here.”

Kisa was never at loss for words but she was now. Not because of Rocco being a cheapjack but because…

_He stood up for me. For real. He didn’t have to, he barely knows me, but he still did it._

Lucas made his way to Kisa with a concerned look in his dark eyes.

“Let’s go back inside.”

Priya was about to say something but stopped herself, narrowing her eyes at Lucas.

“I’ll check on you in a minute,” She gave Kisa a gentle kiss on the side of her head. “Behave.”

That was the only thing she told Lucas before making her way to Bobby and Gary.

“Come on.”

Lucas wrapped an arm around her waist gently, as if she was this fragile porcelain statue that he needed to take care of. His full of concern and lingering anger, and he looked nothing like his usual self. He looked… real. Like if for the first time he let her see behind his usual self-assured mask. This person was a stranger, but she felt like she could trust him.

_No, you can’t. He’s still exactly the same guy he was thirty minutes ago. Just because he decided to take care of this wounded bird that you are now, doesn’t mean he won’t do exactly the same when he gets bored with you._

Lucas walked her over to the daybeds, and they both sat down.

“I’m sorry you had to witness that,” He frowned. “Those two were out of line.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you even care? You’ve known me for all of five minutes and I wasn’t exactly friendly to you. So why do you care how I feel?”

Suddenly, he laughed. His laughter was soft and quiet and deep, and it crept under Kisa’s skin, sending tingles all over her body. He laughed at her and she couldn’t even make a snarky comment, mesmerized by the sound of his voice.

“You poor thing,” He went serious as unpredictably as he laughed just a moment ago. “You truly are as wrecked as you seem to be.” He brushed a strand of hair out of Kisa’s face, and his finger lingered on her cheekbone. “It’s okay to trust people from time to time.”

Kisa felt her cheeks flush, and she jerked away from his touch.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” She spat the words in his face. “You don’t know me, and you have no idea what I am “truly”. You think you’re just so perfect, don’t you?”

She knew she was speaking nonsense, she knew she made no sense at all, but his words went way deeper under her skin than she cared to admit, and Kisa couldn’t let some posh boy talk about her like he’s got her figured out.

_Who the fuck does he think he is?!_

“I don’t need your pity, and I simply don’t need you. So just leave me alone, and stop creeping around, and stop with those smiles and comments, just… I don’t like you, are we clear? Go hit on someone who gives a damn!”

She jumped to her feet, her face and neck covered with ugly red spots. She knew she shouldn’t have said all of that, but she just couldn’t shut herself up, she couldn’t let him know how deeply she was touched by the way he stood up for her.

_He’s just playing the game; he didn’t really mean it. You can’t trust him, he’s like everyone else. He wants you to trust him, to feel grateful, and he’ll use your feelings against you. Run, run, just run._

And she did exactly that, she spun on her heels and rushed into the Villa, catching glances and whispers.

This man did something to her, and a part of her wanted to trust him, to forget everything and just trust, but Kisa knew that this part has to be defeated, or she’ll end up sick and broken yet again.

_Fucking Rocco, if not for him, none of this would’ve happened. They both are going to regret the shit they’ve put me through._

She slammed the bathroom door behind herself, leaning her back against it. Her heart was still hammering against her chest as if it was trying to break the ribcage and jump out of the chest. They’ve been here for less than a week and she’s already falling apart.

_No, I’m not. I’m doing fine._

She tossed her hair back.

_Wash your face, fix your hair, and go back there and show them what you’re made of._


	4. Taste of Heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Play it back and press rewind  
> To when you traced your fingers, drew my spine  
> Lost its beat and so I find  
> Starve my heart of touch and time..."
> 
> [DKLA - Troye Sivan]

After a long, hot shower and twenty minutes of scrubbing her body until it was all covered with red trails, Kisa finally joined the other girls in the dressing room. Priya and Hope were whispering to each other, and both jumped when she cleared her throat loudly.

“Am I interrupting something?” She lifted an eyebrow at Priya.

“No!” The older girl patted the seat next to her. “We were just talking about what happened during the challenge.”

“There’s something we both should’ve told you but never did,” Hope added.

“Really?”

Kisa dropped the towel she’s been using to dry her hair and walked over to them.

“I’m all ears, then.”

“It looks like Marisol wasn’t the only girl Rocco’s been grafting on lately,” Priya frowned. “I thought nothing of it, but he found me before my double date, asked what I think about the new boys, and how things are going with Bobby… I was too busy to think about it, so I never told you. But now, Hope told me that he found her after her date with Lucas, and asked about her and Noah, and the date…”

“And I don’t care about Rocco, so I just told him that me and Noah are doing great,” Hope shot Kisa a look. “And went about my day.”

“So, what are you both trying to say?”

Kisa went behind the screen to change into a black wrap dress. Silk fabric hugged her curves, outlining the hourglass body. It had a deep V-line going all the way to her waist that left the skin between her breasts exposed. She grabbed a long dainty gold chain with tiny coins, feeling the cool sensations where gold touched her naked skin.

“I bet he’s tried that on Lottie. too,” Priya replied. “He’s got scared of the new boys, especially, after you got dates with both of them.”

“I spoke to him last night before we went to bed,” Kisa remembered. “Apparently, Hope told Noah that I was _excited_ about the new boys,” She sniggered. “And Marisol somehow listened into that conversation and then rehashed it to Rocco.”

Kisa evaluated herself in the mirror and took one of the blow dryers from the vanity.

“Anyways, I don’t care.”

She turned the blow dryer on, cutting off all other sounds.

Of course, she cared. She looked like a complete idiot, whose partner was hitting on literally everyone.

_For fuck’s sake, even on Hope. Hope!_

When she finished, Priya turned to her.

“What are you going to do?”

Kisa shrugged.

“Nothing. If Marisol wants that piece of trash, she can have him.”

“Don’t you think we should discuss it? All of us?” Hope frowned.

“You can discuss it as much as you’d like,” Kisa narrowed her eyes at the other girl. “But I’m not dragging myself into some petty drama.”

“But we’ve won the cocktails,” Hope reminded. “And someone has to talk to Marisol before we all gather together.”

_Oh._

A realization dawned on Kisa.

_Of course. The hell she cares about Marisol or those stupid cocktails. Since the girls won the drinks, we’re supposed to gather together and spend some time hanging out… And Noah will be Hope-less, and she wants to make sure no one takes advantage of that._

She looked Hope up and down: she was still wearing her robe and only half-way through with her makeup.

“Okay, drinks it is. Just call for me when you’re done with… this.”

Kisa walked out of the dressing room, leaving the girls to it. She wasn’t mad with Priya for not telling her about Rocco, but she was… cautiously concerned about her sudden warming in a relationship with Hope. She knew all too well how girls might get, and even though Priya was her woman crush of the year, she couldn’t ignore that strange feeling in the pit of her stomach that something wasn’t exactly right.

_Stop it. One civil conversation doesn’t immediately make them besties. They were just discussing the Rocco situation._

Kisa walked out of the building, breathing in the warm, sweet air. Pineapple and coconut scent enveloped her as she walked past the open kitchen where one of the staff members was making them drinks. She nodded to the guy and wandered towards the firepit.

Boys were already there, and the atmosphere seemed… heated.

She chuckled to herself. Bobby’s clearly started to rub off on her.

“… and Marisol was clearly up for it,” Kisa caught the last words, recognizing Rocco’s voice. “Sorry, mate.”

He clasped at Gary’s shoulder, but the blond shook his head off immediately.

“So, it has nothing to do with you grafting on someone’s girl behind their back?”

“We were just on the same wavelength.”

“What about Kisa?” Bobby chimed in. “Was she on the same wavelength? You could’ve at least talk to her before getting off with someone else.”

“It’s okay to like someone else, but you should’ve been upfront about it,” Ibrahim added.

Rocco ran his hand through his hair and shrugged.

“I wasn’t sure Marisol would actually go for it during the challenge.”

Kisa felt her insights boiling with anger.

“So, you’re telling,” Lucas’s voice was dangerously calm. “If Marisol wouldn’t have fallen for your dipshit travel blabber, you’d just bounced back to Kisa? Is she a fucking safety net for you? Why’d you even picked her then?”

Lucas leaned forward, and from her hiding spot, Kisa could see a dangerous glimmer in his dark eyes. He stood up for her, again. And now, she wasn’t even supposed to see it.

 _They all did,_ she reminded herself. _All of the boys got my back._

She frowned, listening to the conversation.

_Not all boys. Noah didn’t say a word._

“Look, mate,” Rocco got up to his feet.

“I’m not your mate,” Lucas followed suit. “I can’t be mates with a slug.”

Kisa heard a few gasps, when the older guy took a step forward, lowering and dark like the skies before the storm.

“You will apologize to her and then, you will stay away from her, clear?”

“And who exactly you are to tell me what to do? She’s coupled up with me and only I decide what to do with her?”

Lucas’ hand flew up, and Bobby jumped to his feet, catching it just before it met Rocco’s face.

“Bobby,” Lucas hissed.

“I wanna do the same,” Bobby frowned.

“We all want,” Gary added as he and Ibrahim walked over to them.

“But we can’t get physical here, okay?” Bobby turned to Rocco. “Get lost, Rocco, if you have any common sense.”

Rocco scowled at them.

“Look at you all, desperate to get under her skirt.”

Now, Ibrahim had to catch Bobby into his strong arms. Rocco huffed and marched off. Kisa had to press herself in the tiny space between two wooden panels to stay unnoticed as the guy walked past her. Everything inside of her wanted to go off on him right here and now, but she didn’t let herself to subside to this feeling.

She had to be smarter than that.

She looked down at the boys. Noah’s finally joined the group as they tried to calm Bobby down after his little anger attack. Kisa couldn’t contain a little smile: sometimes, she took the baker as Priya’s ‘plus one’ and it felt really good, knowing that he has her back even though she wasn’t nice to him more often than not.

Kisa’s eyes found Lucas: he looked calm as ever but there were little flames playing in his eyes.

_Why does he care? We’ve met less than two days ago, why bother?_

With a sigh, she carefully left her little hiding spot and returned to the main level. She spotted Lottie hanging out on the daybeds by herself. Villa’s resident witch and pain in the ass wasn’t usually the one to be all by herself, and she looked rather deflated.

Rolling her eyes at herself, Kisa walked over to her.

_She might be an absolutely insufferable two-faced bitch, but she has style._

“Hey,” Kisa gracefully lowered herself onto the daybed. “You’re like a Celine Dion song now.”

_Oh, god, I have to stop hanging out with Bobby._

Lottie’s face mirrored Kisa’s thoughts, and the younger girl let out a small chuckle.

“Have you heard the boys arguing?” Lottie asked.

There was no point in denying, so Kisa just nodded.

“They were all eager to defend your honor. It must feel nice.”

Kisa gave Lottie a long, studying look. Blonde looked not just deflated, she looked sad, hurt almost. And even though this girl was a nut case and her mood lotto spat all kinds of moods ten times a day, now she looked genuine.

_For once._

“I guess,” Kisa nodded, not letting go of Lottie’s stare. “It’s something rather new for me.”

“Is it?”

She shrugged.

“I’m twenty-six, single and on a stupid TV-show. Do you think it’d be the case if I was used to being treated well?”

“I guess, we’re not that different, after all,” Lottie noted, averting her eyes. “But you don’t have to sit with me just because I look like sad shit.”

“I’d rather stay here than go back to the others,” Kisa frowned. “Hope and Priya were determined to have a girls’ chat with all of us, mostly Hope, of course. And I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”

Lottie’s face went bright pink.

“I need to tell you something. I know, we’re not friends… and barely on speaking terms at all,” They both sniggered. “Rocco and I had a bit of a moment this morning.” She looked up and added quickly. “We didn’t kiss! But… it felt like we might’ve if Noah didn’t walk on us in the lounge.”

For a moment, the blonde girl went quiet, watching one of the camera guys creeping around. He didn’t come too close, but he surely was determined to film whatever was going on. After all, it was a rare sight: Kisa and Lottie together, not fighting.

“I guess, I still liked him, even though he picked you over me, and now it turns out he also chatted up Marisol.”

Kisa sighed.

“It turned out he’s been chatting up all the girls. That’s what Hope was so eager to discuss. Both she and Priya told me he talked to them but neither of them was interested and he backed off.”

Lottie let out strangled laughter.

“Of course. You’d think I get the cue and stop believing in sweet words by this time… But every fucking time a guy tells me something nice, I’m all in.”

“I get it,” Kisa bit down on her lip and ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s… it’s something that is hard to change, isn’t it?”

“I started dating when I was fourteen,” Lottie sniggered sadly. “So, ten years of hardship.”

“Eleven years of hardship,” Kisa chuckled. “I win.”

For a moment, they both went silent, not exactly sure how to act now, when they can’t hate each other anymore. Priya’s loud squeal sorted it out for them.

“Girls! It’s party time!”

Kisa looked up, but she couldn’t see the older girl from where she was seated.

“Let’s go then,” She frowned a little. “I know, you’re friends with Hope, but… you’re not obligated to talk about anything if you don’t want to.”

With that, Kisa got up to her feet, and both of the girls went back inside. They didn’t speak anymore, and she had a moment to process what has happened so far.

_Lucas was pissed with Rocco._

This simple thought made her heart race in her chest, and she didn’t even know why.

_And Noah didn’t give a shit._

She should’ve been glad to know that so she could steal him from Hope and take the money and leave without any guilt but… a part of her didn’t want to. She’s been with so many guys who didn’t care about her, she should’ve got used to being used… So why this sudden reluctance?

She wouldn’t think twice if… If Lucas didn’t act the way he did. Even after she snapped at him when all he did was trying to calm her down, she got scared and went off on him. And even after her acting like a bitch, he stood up for her.

_Like Seth. Seth would do the same._

Kisa missed her best friend so much, she wished she could just call him and hear his voice telling her that everything is going to be okay. That she’s doing great, and he’s proud of her.

“Kisa!” Priya waved her over. Kisa glanced at Lottie, and blonde just shrugged.

“Hey.”

Kisa scooched closer to the older girl grabbing her drink to take several large gulps.

“This is good stuff,” She commented. Priya laughed and grabbed another glass from the table. “Cheers, everyone.”

“It’s nice to spend some time just us, girls,” Hope chipped in.

“Is it?” Kisa arched her eyebrow. “Wouldn’t you rather be with Noah right now?”

Priya chuckled covering it with a cough.

“I’m my own woman, Kisa,” Hope frowned. “I don’t need to be around some guy 24/7.”

“Well, that’s a new tune,” Kisa frowned a little. “But good for you. Right now, I don’t feel a desire to be around those guys neither.”

“I think we should talk about it,” Hope turned to Marisol, who was quiet up until the moment.

Law student winced but nodded.

“So, I guess, some of you were upset with the way I acted earlier.”

“You can say that again,” Priya huffed.

“But it was just a kiss during a challenge, we didn’t go about kissing each other before.”

“It’s not just the kiss,” Hope leaned forward.

“It’s mostly how you handled it,” Lottie scowled. “And not just the kiss – it’s how you’ve handled the entire thing of going behind Gary and Kisa’s backs.”

“I didn’t…”

“Save it,” Priya butted in. “We know that you two have been ‘chatting’ for some time now. We know it because before coming to you, Rocco tried it with me and Hope.”

“And he tried it with me this morning,” Lottie added, grimacing in distaste.

“What?” Marisol looked gobsmacked. “And no one bothered to tell me?”

Kisa let out a bark.

“You didn’t bother to tell your partner that another guy’s been hitting on you, and you expect us to take care of you?”

Marisol huffed under her breath.

“That’s exactly why no one likes you here,” She scowled. “You’re just being a bitch about everything.”

Kisa chuckled, getting up to her feet.

“Oh, sweetheart, just because a couple of girls consider me a threat doesn’t mean no one likes me. Ask the people you’re coupled up with,” She gave her and Hope empathetic smile. “If I were you, I’d be more concerned about why the only guy who showed any interest in you turned out to be trash…” She looked Marisol up and down. “Oh, scratch that. That’s because trash goes well with a trash bin.”

She spun on her heel, leaving the girls to it. She was done with that stupid pointless drama and needed to get some space from everyone. Drink in hand, she walked out of the villa and walked to the kitchen, hoping to find something to eat.

Bobby and Lucas were sitting at the cutting table, deep in a conversation.

“Ugh,” She stopped. “Sorry, I just wanted a snack.”

“Hey!” Bobby jumped to his feet, freeing space for her. “Sit down, I’ll make you a toast.”

“Thank you,” She smiled at him, reluctantly taking his seat next to Lucas.

“You want one?” Bobby nodded at the older guy.

“I’m good, thank you, Bobby.”

Lucas dragged his gaze back to her, studying her face intently. Kisa felt her cheeks blush under this intense stare, memories of how defensive he got over her still fresh.

She clenched tighter on her glass and took a sip, just to avoid talking to him, even for a few seconds.

“I still can’t believe we didn’t win the drinks,” Bobby shook his head dramatically. “Tragic.”

Kisa slid her glass to him.

“Legend,” Bobby saluted at her and took a large gulp.

“It’s called Priya-Colada,” Kisa noted innocently. “Now you can tell people you’ve tasted Priya.”

For a moment both men went quiet until the realization dawned on them. Lucas let out a loud bark while Bobby just went red in his face, chocking on the drink.

“I wonder, what drink you’d be,” Lucas leaned over to whisper in her ear.

“The one you can’t handle,” She smirked cheekily.

His fingers brushed her leg, when he moved even closer, pinning her with that smoldering look of his.

“I can handle anything.”

A sudden blood rush made her meet his eyes bravely, with a little grin at the corners of her mouth. Slowly, she traced her nail against his thigh under the table, lowering voice to a whisper.

“I don’t believe this statement. We should conduct an experiment to test it.”

A spark of excitement shimmered in his eyes.

“Your toast!” Bobby put a plate before her.

“This looks great!” Kisa smiled at him. “Banana and strawberries are the best toast topping ever!”

Bobby beamed at her.

“Bobby!” Gary’s voice echoed through the Villa. “Would you come over, please?!”

Baker rolled his eyes.

“Downsides of being popular.”

When the other guy left, Lucas walked over to the fridge and fished out a bowl of cream and more strawberries.

“I thought you weren’t hungry,” Kisa noted, somehow amused.

He shrugged, dipping one of the berries into the cream. Hypnotized, she watched him as he took a bite, and the juice ran down his chin. Her hand darted to his face unconsciously before she could stop herself.

Deliberately, her thumb brushed up his chin and across his plump, perfect lips, whipping off the juice. Without breaking eye contact, Kisa slowly parted her lips, gently sucking the juice off the tip of her thumb.

“Want some more?” His voice suddenly went husky and low, making little hairs on her arms stand on end.

She nodded, and he dipped another strawberry into the cream before bringing it to Kisa’s mouth. She parted her lips, and he brushed the berry across her mouth, living a trail of cream. Part of her wanted to lick it off looking him dead in the eyes, but another part wished for _him_ to lick it off her burning lips.

Lucas ran his free hand up her arm, scratching it softly with his nails, brushing it across her collarbone and up the sensitive skin of her exposed neck until his middle finger finally reached her mouth. Mesmerized, she closed eyes for a second, enjoying a tingling sensation of his finger pressing at her lips.

The way he made her heart hammer in her chest, and her knees turn into jelly, and her mind turns completely shut… He was toxic, but also… intoxicating. And she ran out of reasons to pretend that her body doesn’t crave him.

He wanted her.

His eyes were ablaze when she gently caught him by the wrist and moved her face closer and slowly ran her tongue from the pulse point on the wrist, all the way up his lifeline, and slipped it between his fingers. She ghosted her breath at the base of his fingers before running her tongue up his middle finger, still sticky with melted cream, and he lost his grip.

He gasped, when her lips covered the tip of his finger, gently sucking it into wet hotness of her mouth. She dragged her teeth teasingly across the sensitive skin, drawing a soft moan out of his mouth.

With a smile, she leaned over to whisper:

“Thank you.” Her free hand stroked Lucas’s neck for a moment. Suddenly, she coiled fingers tightly around the man’s neck, and his eyes widened. “That was delicious.” Her hot sweet breath burned at his skin, and Lucas couldn’t contain another soft moan when her lips brushed the shell of his ear.

He swallowed hard under her tight grip.

“Oi!” Gary’s voice made both of them jerk away from each other. “What are you guys up to?”

Kisa shrugged, sliding off her seat.

“Bobby’s made me a toast, and this greedy bastard tried to steal it,” She winked at Gary. “I’ve explained him to know better than stealing my food.”

She grabbed the toast and marched off, very much aware of the stares.


	5. Sticks and Stones.

Kisa bumped into Rocco on her way to the bedroom, and a thought dawned on her: she needs to figure out her bed situation.

“Hey, can we…” Rocco started.

She pinned him down to a spot with a blazing stare of her deep green eyes and watched him until his face flushed red. She huffed and walked over to their bed to grab a duvet and a pillow. Sleeping on the daybed seemed like the best idea, and she also grabbed a book she’s been trying to finish for the last few days.

Henrik spotted her from across half-empty bedroom.

“I think, you’re not the one who should be crashing outside,” Blond guy frowned.

“It’s okay,” She shrugged, vaguely wondering where he was during that firepit scene. “I don’t mind.”

She marched out of the bedroom and jump down the stairs, pretty excited to spend a night far from Noah, the Chainsaw. On her way to daybeds, she stopped at the kitchen to fill up her water bottle and find a snack. Being around these bunch of gym buffs and fitness-obsessed people led to her skipping lunches and dinners, and she didn’t like it.

Kisa grabbed a tub of chocolate ice cream and some whipped cream and slowly walked towards the daybeds, hoping for a quiet night. The shouting match reached her ears, and she stopped dead. Priya and Bobby were in the middle of an argument, unaware of the company.

_What the fuck am I supposed to do now?_

Before she could decide, Priya spotted her and waved at Bobby to shut up.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Kisa frowned, adjusting pillow under her armpit. “I’m just… I’m sleeping outside tonight.”

“Yeah, me too,” Priya darted her eyes at Bobby. “Let’s just… let’s talk tomorrow, with our heads clear.”

Bobby’s eyes went a shade darker, but he nodded.

“Yeah, good plan.”

He spun on his heel, ready to march off, but then turned round and gave Kisa a weak smile.

“Night, Kisa.”

When he disappeared in the Villa, Priya let out a long, defeated sigh and plopped down on the daybed. Kisa nestled next to her, pulling the duvet over both of them, and handed the older girl ice cream and a spoon.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Kisa rubbed Priya’s shoulder, noticing that instead of her usual revealing lingerie she was wearing a simple t-shirt and pajama pants.

“Nothing much to talk about,” Older girl frowned to herself, scooping some melted ice cream out of the tub. “Just Bobby being himself… and me, not being okay with it.”

They both went silent for a moment, as they thought about Priya’s words.

“It’s okay that you don’t appreciate his eagerness to support everyone else,” Kisa sighed finally. “He’s coupled up with you, you should be his number one. And if you’re not…” She trailed off. “What did he say?”

“Nothing… I mean, literally… It’s all started with a kiss. I kissed him and he tasted like cheap strawberry chapstick, so I asked since when he uses one. And he answered: “I’ve borrowed it off Lottie.”

_Oh no he didn’t…_

“Considering all the shit that happened with Rocco and Marisol, you’d think he might be more considerate of my feelings… But when I said that it’s weird and asked if there’s something I should know, he just laughed and said, and it’s a direct quote, “She would’ve eaten me and not in a sexy way.” Priya sniffed violently. “I was like bitch, are you for real? He’s just brushed off my feelings and made a joke out of it.”

Kisa wrapped her arm around Priya’s shoulders, pulling her closer.

“He’s quite young, you know…” She frowned: making excuses for men after all the shit she’s been through herself seemed too wrong. “And arrogant. And has no common sense. And if he doesn’t acquire some soon, just swap him for someone who would be considerate of your feeling, because you deserve only the best.”

“Thanks, babe,” Priya planted a soft kiss on the side of Kisa’s head before burying her face in her hair. “You smell amazing, by the way,” He words came out a little muffled.

“It’s this brand, Swiss Arabian,” Kisa explained. “My grandmother was half-Persian, and growing up I’ve spent a lot of time with her. She and grandpa were living in Dubai the last few years before they… Well, it kinda keeps me connected, in a way,” She finished awkwardly.

Priya caressed her hand gently, not pushing for further explanation. Kisa never shared anything personal, with anyone, just her boys. Just the fact that she was willing to talk about her family startled her.

“Do you think,” Priya frowned, deep in thought. “Do you think Bobby and me could work?”

Kisa took some time to think of an answer.

“Only if both of you are willing to _adjust,_ ” She bit down on her lip. “You have this incredible chemistry that is literally palpable, and you both want pretty much the same things from life. You want to have a family, and to keep it drama-free and to still have fun even when you’re 86. But you’ve come from different paths of life and you have different coping mechanisms… You protect your heart by letting in only very few - and he protects himself by being friends to everyone without allowing anyone to be a friend to him.”

Priya put away the ice cream and cuddled up to Kisa, curling herself around the other girl’s body. It was strange: falling asleep wrapped in someone’s arms. Besides Seth, no one was allowed to spend nights in her bed, to cuddle her like this, not even Alex, who always was extremely handsy and also knew how to get what he wanted, anytime.

But it felt good, to be this close with someone, to trust someone enough to let them in.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Priya’s warm light breath ghosted on the back of Kisa’s neck. “I’m glad we’ve found each other.”

“Me too.”

Kisa brushed Priya’s arm with her hand and then slipped her finger between hers, squeezing the older girl’s hand tightly as she let it rest on her waist.

“Night, babe,” Priya yawned, falling asleep almost immediately.

Kisa closed her eyes, listening to her soft, steady breath, and it lulled her to sleep shortly after, safe and sound.

***

After a slow morning of avoiding pretty much everyone, Kisa got a text announcing Mr. Love Island contest later that day.

“So, girls,” Hope stretched herself out on the sun lounger. “Looks like all the power’s in our hands today. Those boys better work hard to impress us!”

Kisa raised her eyebrow.

“So, what’s Noah’s hidden talent then?”

Hope shot her a look.

“He has plenty of those.”

“I’m sure, he’ll figure something out,” Marisol shrugged. “What’s Gary gonna do? Talk about his nan, as always?”

“If I were, I wouldn’t say shit about someone you’ve cheated on with a piece of trash,” Kisa scowled. “But then again, if I _were_ you, I’d kick myself off the rooftop.”

“I bet Bobby’s gonna bake something!” Lottie butted in before they could continue. “If he wants my vote, I’m expecting a freshly made cake!”

Kisa’s eyes darted towards Priya. At Lottie’s words, her shoulders tensed, and a deep line crossed her forehead.

“I’m sure, Bobby will find a way to impress _Priya_ … and all of us.”

Priya sent her a weak smile.

“I’m sure, everyone’s gonna be fine,” Hope noted.

“I wonder, what Rocco’s hidden talent? We can cross out grafting on everyone and shredding his skin, as there’s nothing hidden about those.”

Marisol scowled.

“Why do you even care, Lottie?”

“Because I – unlike you – don’t appreciate being played and used,” Lottie pointed her long nail at Marisol.

Kisa shook her head: the last thing she needed right now was to be dragged into another petty bitch fight.

“I’m just gonna grab something to snack on,” She leaned into Priya. “Wanna join?”

Priya dragged her gaze from Hope and looked at Kisa.

“No… I want to stay and… you know, be in the loop.”

Kisa shrugged and left the girls to it, Lottie’s loud voice getting even higher as she went off on Marisol, yet again.

_I had no idea she actually liked Rocco. I still wonder why he picked me._

She rooted around the fridge when Noah found her.

“Hey,” He looked at her shyly. “I’ve been looking for you. Can we have a chat?”

Kisa nodded and grabbed a banana before following him inside. They settled on the sofa in the lounge, and the girl took a bite, wishfully thinking of all the pizza and sushi she’s going to eat when out of here.

“What’s up?” She looked him up and down before bringing her focus to his face.

“I-I just wanted to ask… How are you?”

She chuckled to herself, taking another bite. Noah’s eyes followed her mouth as it covered almost a third of the fruit. Kisa rolled her eyes just a little, her plan to steal this guy from Hope now seemed like a bad idea.

“I’m fine. But I’m glad you found me. I needed to talk to you, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s about what you said the other day. That we should get to know each other. I think it’s a horrible idea. I don’t want to get dragged into yet another drama, so… just let’s keep it the way it is now between us.”

Noah looked a little deflated, but he nodded.

“Yeah… I get it. You’re right.”

Kisa wasn’t sure she made the right call, but… she couldn’t take it back now. But it meant only one thing – she has no idea what to do when the recoupling time comes. With Bobby, Rahim, and Gary off the table, Noah was her only option – and she just threw it away.

_There’re Lucas and Henrik._

Henrik seemed like he was in for a bit of fun but ultimately wasn’t looking for anything serious. And Lucas… she had no idea why he’s on Love Island. He clearly didn’t need the money, and he didn’t give out a hopeless romantic vibe either. But also, from what she saw, he wasn’t this massive player she thought he was.

Even though Hope clearly had a crush on him, after their date Lucas kept her at arm’s length, not letting the Squiddles queen get any closer. Priya seemed to be a perfect match for him, but he never showed much interest in her, even though they were friendly. The less said about Marisol, the better.

The only dark horse was Lottie. Lucas didn’t pick her for a date but… _It’s fucking Lottie. You never know for sure with her._

“Kisa?” Noah called out for her. “Are you okay? You’ve just zoned out.”

“Yeah, fine. Um, I’m just gonna go grab my sunscreen.”

She left the librarian alone and climbed upstairs. This hashtag roccogate was doing her head in, and Kisa was sure that there will be more surprises in store.

She stopped dead the moment she saw the boys in the girls' dressing room.

“Kisa!” Bobby spun on his heel.

“Wow,” She giggled. “Party on top business on the bottom?”

Bobby was dressed in white linen pants, but he was halfway through one of Priya’s dresses.

“I’m not even asking,” She shook her head, glancing around. Lucas was deliberately painting Henrik’s lips with Lottie’s favorite Jeffree Star liquid lipstick. “She’s gonna kill you both,” Kisa smirked at the boys.

“I think it looks better on Henrik,” Lucas grinned back. “Why are you here? Want me to do your mouth, too?”

Kisa’s eyes widened.

“Didn’t you mean lips?” Henrik looked confused.

“That’s exactly what I said,” Lucas’ smoldering stare burned holes in Kisa’s skin as he pinned her to a spot.

Before she could come up with anything to reply, they all heard a loud noise from across the room.

Bobby tangled himself in Priya’s dress completely and lost his footing, landing hard on the floor.

“You alright, Bobs?” Gary helped him to his feet. “Mate, give up now, this is a dress from hell, have you not seen all the straps and buttons?”

“But it’s perfect,” Bobby frowned, rubbing his elbow. “Oi, Kisa! You’re a girl.”

“Very well spotted.”

She raised an eyebrow at him as Bobby shuffled closer to her.

“I might need your help.”

“With a dress?”

“With this whole thing,” Bobby blushed. “Look at me… I’m not pageant material.”

“And you think I am?” She chuckled. “Pageant girls have to be likable, at the very least.”

“But you’re hot and confident!” Bobby objected. “You could give me advice or something. Please?” He made puppy eyes. “I’ll owe you.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Alright. Let’s go talk the strategy somewhere else… And god, take this off. It’s not your color.”

While Bobby was untangling himself from Priya’s complicated garment, Kisa looked through Priya’s clothes and picked a simple wrap dress with deep v-line and.

G _ood thing Bobby hates the gym and Priya loves silicone._

Kisa chuckled to herself and walked Bobby to the empty bedroom.

“First: if you, perv, is determined to wear your girl’s clothes, this one will work better,” She handed him a hanger.

“This does look better,” Bobby beamed at her. “And also, hey! I’m not a perv!”

“Keep telling that yourself,” She smirked. “Alright, so… there’re three categories: swimsuits, special talent, and a speech…” She thought for a second.

_Bobby’s not the most confident person ever existed. He’s cute and sweet but… hot? Probably, no. At least, not Love Island hot._

“So, swimsuit defile is just for fun,” She watched Bobby’s reaction. “You don’t need to take it too seriously.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. Just have a laugh with it.”

Bobby’s face lit up with a smile, but then he frowned.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Bobby, I’m two years older than you. You know what it means?”

“What?”

“You can’t waste my time, pretending that everything’s fine, especially, when you really suck at pretending to be fine. So, if that was your special talent, cross it out and spill the beans.”

Bobby stared at his fingers for a few moments.

“It’s about Priya.”

“I thought you guys made up?”

“Yeah, we did… But it’s like… I dunno, it’s weird. Like, she was angry with me last night and this morning she just said it’s fine and carried on as nothing happened. And I still don’t really get, what happened.”

Kisa bit on her lip, studying Bobby’s face. She never got herself involved in other’s drama, and she was pretty sure she shouldn’t change that now, but… Priya deserved a good partner, and Bobby had a potential.

“Okay. I’ll tell you something, Bobby. You suck as a partner. You’re a great friend, but I have no problem believing that you’ve never had a long-term girlfriend. From what I see here, I can tell you’ve been even worse with the girls on the outside.”

Bobby tried to say something, but Kisa waved her hand dismissively.

“No, I’m not done. Priya was upset last night not because you used Lottie’s chapstick – which was weird anyway – but because of how inconsiderate you were about your partner’s feelings. In a relationship, you have to take these things seriously. Otherwise, there’s no point of actually being in a relationship. Even if there’s absolutely nothing going on between you and Lottie, it’s not a reason to just dismiss Priya’s concern. Talk to her. Listen to what she has to say. Explain how you feel. It’s the only way.”

Kisa sighed: she hated schooling Bobby, she hated feeling herself like one of those old, wise men drinking hot tea on a sunny afternoon, giving unsolicited advice to anyone who’d listen.

“And also, try spending less time fixing everything for everyone. And for fuck’s sake, hang out with your partner, not with everyone else. Priya really likes you, and I know you like her, too. So instead of baking another batch of rainbow cupcakes tonight, take Priya to the roof terrace. Bring there some champagne and spend time with the woman you’re coupled up with, for once.”

Bobby’s face was red with embarrassment, but he still managed a grateful smile.

“You’re right… and thank you for telling me this. I-I… sometimes it’s just too hard for me, to open up to someone. And I like Priya a lot, so I always doubt everything I do around her and… well, it’s like you said.”

“Look, I know, it’s hard. But if you keep trying, it’ll pay off one day… At least, that’s what I’m hoping for,” Kisa chuckled and clasped her hand on Bobby’s knee. “Alright, back to business. With the speech, all you need is to be yourself. Everyone likes you.”

“Even you?” Bobby raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

Kisa huffed. “Sometimes.”

“Oh, I knew, I’m gonna crack that stone-cold heart of yours!”

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help a little smile at the corners of her mouth.

“Shut up. So, this brings us to the special talent part. I mean, you could bake something, but I guess, there should be some kind of surprise with this one.”

“Oh, I know!” Bobby jumped excitedly. “I’ve got one!”

“Well?”

“It’s a surprise,” Bobby winked at her. “You lassies gonna be well impressed.”

They both went silent for a long moment, each thinking of their own. Kisa watched Bobby’s contemplated face waiting for him to finally spill it out.

“Hey, Kisa,” Bobby blushed just a little. “Are you… how are you? After yesterday.”

She was ready to brush his question off, but something stopped her. Maybe it was genuine care in his face, or maybe, it was the memory of how he stood up for her last night, or maybe, she just got tired of always keeping her guard up.

Kisa leaned into Bobby, covering both of their mics with her hands.

“I don’t care about Rocco,” She whispered into his ear, ghosting her warm breath on Bobby’s neck.

She pulled away and continued: “My ego is bruised, a little. But… everything happens for the best, right?”

Bobby looked just a little flustered but nodded.

“Yeah… I-I just wanted you to know if you want to talk about it, or anything… I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, Bobs,” Kisa ruffled his hair. “I know. But… be there for Priya, okay?”

She left him open-mouthed and headed downstairs. Loud voices coming from the kitchen drew her attention, and Kisa rushed there, feeling a tight knot inside of her stomach.

Rocco and Lucas were standing dangerously close, both angry and ready to throw hands. Hope and Marisol were trying to stop the fight, but both guys ignored them.

Kisa grabbed someone’s glass of water and threw it over, making both men freeze.

“What the hell is going on here?” She asked, looking at everyone in turns.

“Nothing,” Lucas huffed.

“Your knight in shining armor went defensive over someone who he’s not coupled up with,” Rocco grimaced.

“Lucas was just being decent,” Hope chimed in. “It doesn’t mean he likes Kisa.”

Kisa’s jaw dropped at this comment.

“I am decent,” Lucas frowned at Hope. “And I’d appreciate if you didn’t make assumptions about who I like or not.”

His eyes darted to Kisa, and her breath stuttered. Her insides turned into liquid fire, rushing through her veins and burning out all her defenses and walls.

_Does he… Did he really mean it when he said he fancies me?_

She shook it off, narrowing her eyes at Rocco.

“In case you needed to hear me say it publicly,” She hissed. “You and me - are done. I don’t want you to speak to me – or about me.” She turned to Marisol. “And when it comes to you…”

Kisa looked down at the shorter girl, with that condescending look that she’s perfected throughout the years.

“You told that you’re no one’s second-favorite… and you were right. You’re everyone’s last choice, even his,” She nodded at Rocco. “And it sounds just about right.”

Blood was thumping in her head when Kisa turned round on her heel and marched off to where Priya and Lottie were. These two hanging out together was a rare scene.

“Didn’t feel like joining the party?” She asked casually, joining them on the beanbags.

“They both are idiots,” Lottie huffed. “Rocco has no common sense and Lucas… well, his motives are quite transparent.”

“Rocco can go and fuck himself with his ukulele,” Kisa huffed. “But I still can’t believe he tried it on everyone.”

Lottie’s face darkened, but she nodded.

“Me neither. I guess you did me good when you stole him from me.”

“She didn’t steal him from you,” Priya butted in. “Kisa didn’t even know he’s gonna pick her until he did.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Kisa waved her hand dismissively. “These two are perfect for each other, both desperate and petty. At least, I’m not stuck with someone like this, so… Marisol did me some good, too.”

“And you can crack on with Lucas now.”

Lottie’s words hung in the air between them like a heavy dark cloud. Priya gasped, not sure how her friend’s going to react to such a blatant statement. Lottie’s jaw tensed just a little when Kisa measured her with the intense stare of her large green eyes.

A little smirk touched her lips as she spoke.

“Yeah, I believe, I can.”


	6. Dark Good Looks.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a shorter one but I feel like it’s kind of important, so...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Are you all good?  
> Are you alright?  
> I'm in your neighborhood  
> For your darkest times..."
> 
> [Are You All Good? - Breathe]

They all just finished getting ready for the night, when Priya's phone beeped with a text. 

“Islanders, please gather at the firepit,” Priya read the text. “I wonder what’s that about?”

“Gotta be something to do with Mr. Love Islander,” Gary offered.

“Where is he, by the way?” Hope mused.

“He’s got that video call from home, remember?” Noah replied.

Kisa nudged Priya on a shoulder.

“Hey.”

The older girl spun on her heel and beamed at her.

“Wow, calling dibs on this fit!”

As they made their way back to the firepit, Priya hung back.

“Hey, Kisa?”

“Yeah?”

“Bobby told me that you’ve helped him with the challenge. Thanks, it was really sweet of you.”

Kisa studied her friend’s face for a moment, trying to figure if she’s just being nice or if she’s mad but doesn’t want to show it. She wasn’t good at this thought, reading between the lines and guessing other people’s thoughts, which was yet another reason she never had girlfriends. She just wasn’t prepared for all those half-tones and fifty shades of “I’m fine.”

“You’re not mad?” She clarified.

“Babe, of course, I’m not!” Priya caught her hand. “Why’d you think I’m mad?”

Kisa let out a sigh of relief.

“Just checking,” She squeezed the other girl’s hand, and they joined everyone by the firepit.

Bobby was already there, still wearing the sash and tiara.

“I knew you’d be still wearing it,” Kisa smiled. “How was your call?”

“Oh, it was great! All of my friends from the kitchen were there,” Bobby looked at Priya, his eyes glimmering with joy. “You’re a ‘total catch’ by the way.”

“Boy, don’t I know!” She laughed softly and made her way up to him, towing Kisa behind.

“So, why are we here?” Ibrahim wondered.

Kisa caught Lucas’ gaze.

_Son of a bitch looks hot tonight._

He smirked at her, looking up and down her sheer black dress with corset and silver chains. Lottie wasn’t exactly wrong: now, when Rocco and Marisol snaked behind everyone’s backs, nothing was holding her back.

 _Only basic survival instinct_ , she reminded herself. _He’s so bad for you, and you know it. Just because you want it to be otherwise, doesn’t mean it will be._

Her phone beeped, and Kisa looked down at the screen.

“Girls, it’s your turn to choose the most and least datable guys of Love Island. You can discuss it as a group, but you’ll be voting separately. Those voted least likely to leave with a girlfriend, will be at least of tomorrow’s dumping.”

The light-hearted atmosphere changed immediately. Kisa’s eyes found Lucas involuntarily, and her doubts stepped back, letting something else take their place. She didn’t want to lose him.

“Alright, boys, clear out,” Hope commanded.

When the guys left, girls gathered together in a circle.

“Alright, let’s talk the boys,” Lottie frowned just a little at Hope’s commanding tone. “Obviously, Noah should stay.”

“Obviously?” Kisa raised an eyebrow at her.

“He’ll end up with me as his girlfriend,” Hope looked at her pointedly.

“And you know that how? If I’m not mistaken, Noah is still a person and has his own free will, you can’t just decide for him.”

“Guys, let’s move on,” Marisol butted in. “Hope and Noah like each other, that’s enough for me.”

“What about Gary?” Lottie mused.

“He’s a great guy, there’s no way he’ll end up single,” Priya smiled. “Not my type though, but maybe Lottie’s?”

Lottie spluttered.

“I don’t know what you’re on about.”

“Yeah, right,” Priya smirked. “Obviously, I want Bobby to stay.”

“And there’s no one else here you’d prefer?” Marisol asked innocently.

“You and Bobby are perfect together,” Kisa interrupted. “He’d be well chuffed to end up with a girlfriend like yourself.”

“No one wants him to leave,” Lottie nodded.

“What about Rahim?” Hope wondered. “Lottie?”

Blonde goth blushed a little.

“I think, everyone kinda knows we’re more of a friendship couple but he’ll be great for someone.”

“That leaves us with Rocco,” Hope darted her eyes at Kisa.

“Can I say something?” Marisol started, but Priya cut her off.

“I think we should listen to what Kisa has to say, she’s the one coupled up with Rocco.”

All the girls turned to her, waiting. She had absolutely nothing to say, and she absolutely didn’t care about the guy. She dreaded the moment the girls remember about Henrik and Lucas because suddenly, every part of her screamed that he has to stay.

“You can do whatever with Rocco if you think he deserves to stay – I don’t mind. I frankly just don’t care.”

“Okay, I guess, it’s now time to vote,” Priya frowned.

“Aren’t we forgetting someone?’” Lottie butted in. “Or two someones.”

“Right,” Hope looked conflicted. “If I had to choose, I’d want Lucas to stay,” She glanced at Kisa.

“Same here,” Priya grinned. “No way this guy won’t be someone’s perfect match.”

“I’d pick Henrik,” Marisol shrugged. “That posh boy isn’t my cup of tea.”

Kisa couldn’t contain a sniff.

“Got something to say?” Marisol scowled.

“I just find it _adorable,_ that you seriously think you’d even be in the running.”

She hated her big mouth in this very second. These girls already hate her, why rock the boat even more now?

They took their seats, and Kisa stared at her phone.

_Okay, first, most datable. No doubt, it’s Gary. He’s sweet and funny and he’s here to find someone long-term._

She hit ‘send’ and bit down on her lip. She knew that Priya will vote for Rocco as least datable. With Kisa’s, it’s two votes.

_Marisol will vote for Lucas, just in spite. Hope has a massive crush on Lucas but also hates me. She also happens to know that her precious Noah has a crush on me – so will she decide to keep Lucas to keep me away from Noah, or she’ll vote him out just not to see me with him?_

And there was always Lottie. Lottie was pissed with Rocco, but she also wasn’t Kisa’s biggest fan.

Kisa’s head started spinning. That was exactly the reason she never befriended girls, she just couldn’t stand the hypocrisy and mind games.

_If Marisol and Lottie or Hope vote for Lucas as least datable it’s two or three voices - and two voices for Rocco. We have seven boys and only five girls, so two guys will get dumped tomorrow… but if there will be three boys at risk… there might be a chance to save him._

She typed the name and sent the message with a heavy heart.

“You okay?” Priya scooched over to her.

“I’m just…” Kisa shook her head. “Yeah, I am.”

When the boys made their way back to the firepit, Kisa’s phone beeped once again.

“Someone’s popular,” Bobby offered her a small grin.

“Okay, so the boy who’s been voted as most likely to leave Love Island with a girlfriend is… Gary,” She smiled brightly at him. “Called it.”

Crane operator blushed a little, catching her gaze.

“Glad you approve, darling.”

Hope rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed. Before anyone could say something else, Priya’s phone buzzed.

“Boys voted least datable are Rocco, Henrik, and Lucas.”

Kisa’s eyes found him, and Lucas gave her a weak smile. Henrik whispered something to him, and the older guy nodded, frowning.

“So, what’s next?” Gary asked. “Oh, scratch that.” He looked down at his phone. “Now, the public will vote to save one of the boys from the dumping.”

_There’s no way the public will save Rocco, so it’s between Lucas and Henrik. The question is whether those people have a decent taste or not._

Kisa made her way to Lucas, avoiding looking at Henrik.

“Hey,” She looked up at the dark-haired man. “Mind if we have a chat?”

He nodded and followed her back to the main level.

“Let’s go to the roof terrace.”

When they were finally alone, she let herself breathe out. She was way too nervous and hated the way her heart fluttered in her chest at just the thought of spilling her feelings out.

 _What feelings?_ She asked herself. _He’s just the only option for you, that is._

“You look nervous,” Lucas noted, walking her up the bench. He sat down next to her, their knees nudging gently, and took a hold of her hand. “What is it?”

This Lucas freaked her out even more than his evil alter-ego. She knew exactly how to handle that cocky, condescending douchelord – but she didn’t know how to act around this concerned, almost sincere man.

_Sincere? What makes you think that this is his sincere side?_

“Were you serious?” She asked quietly. “When you said that you like me.”

“Yes,” He answered simply. “Were you serious, when you said you don’t like me?”

She didn’t like him, not at all. She hated his arrogant, contemptuous smirk, and the smug look on his face, and his fucking Hermes trunks. She hated how self-assured he acted, and how in control he always was. She hated almost everything about him, but also, and she hated him for that, too – she couldn’t ignore that part of her, just a tiny little part, didn’t care. This part didn’t care that he wasn’t good for her, didn’t care that she was supposed to be here just for the money, and didn’t care about all the warning signs – this part wanted him, badly.

“I was,” She nodded finally. “There’s plenty not to like about you, but…”

She trailed off, not sure what to say. His fingers released her hand and slowly traveled up her arm, tracing patterns on the bare skin. She sat up straighter when his fingers brushed across her collarbone and then came to rest on the back of her neck, winding through her hair.

“But you like me, still, don’t you?” His voice was dangerously low and enticing, and his fingers pressed just a little into her neck, making her lean forward.

“N-no,” Her breath stuttered when his lips brushed across her jawline.

“No?” Lucas used his free hand to pull her closer, wrapping his arm demandingly around her waist.

His lips moved to her neck, pressing lingering, tantalizing kisses onto the sensitive skin just behind her ear. His hot breath burned her skin, sending little jolts of electricity down her spine.

“I think, you mean yes,” His teeth grazed her earlobe, drawing a soft moan out of Kisa’s mouth. “That was a yes, to me,” Lucas chuckled softly, tracing the tip of his tongue up the shell of her ear.

“A maybe,” She corrected him quietly.

His mouth moved slowly down her neck, leaving a wet trail on the skin that prickled with goosebumps under the cool breeze.

“I can work with a maybe,” He pressed his lips against Kisa’s mouth, pressing her into his body tightly, and she’s lost herself for a moment. Nothing existed but the feeling of his plump, sensual lips, and his strong hands, holding her body securely.

For a moment, she just allowed herself to sink into the kiss, sliding her hands up his chest to cup his face, deepening the kiss.

_Stop, stop, stop_

Her mind tried to reason with her, to remind her of how many times she ended up alone and broken. He wasn’t good even though he _felt_ good, he couldn’t be good since he wanted her. No good guy ever did, so why it’d be any different here?

_He’ll leave you broken on a floor, like everyone else before him. Don’t be stupid. You can’t trust him, you can’t trust anyone. Did you forget why you’re here? Did you forget about Seth and the boys? You have no time for this, focus. Don’t be a desperate idiot who falls in the arms of the first man who said that he likes you._

She slowly pulled away, willing her face to stay calm. She won’t give in, she won’t let to make a fool out of herself again – this time, she’s the one in control.

“I really hope you’ll get to stay.”


	7. Good Time Girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kisa's singing Too Sad To Cry - Sasha Sloan
> 
> "...With every stab wound and exhale, I promised myself  
> That I would never lose my youthful fears of grown-up men  
> I'm scarred with cruel intentions..."
> 
> [Romance - Ex:Re]

Soft fire crackling filled the evening air as all the islanders gathered at the firepit. Rocco, Lucas, and Henrik were standing across the firepit from the others, waiting for the results of a public vote. Priya’s hand squeezed Kisa’s.

“He’ll get to stay, I’m sure,” The older girl whispered to her.

“What are you two whispering about?” Bobby chirped in. He looked at Kisa thoughtfully, a realization dawning on him. “Oh… Hey, it’ll be fine.”

He leaned over Priya’s legs to give Kisa’s shoulder a comforting squeeze.

She rolled her eyes, mildly annoyed that both Priya and Bobby are _that_ certain she cares about the motorbikes lover.

Noah’s phone beeped.

“The public vote is here. Two boys voted least datable are… Rocco and…”

Kisa’s phone buzzed, and her heart skipped a beat. It took her by surprise, how much she didn’t want Lucas to go.

“Henrik.”

She let out a small sigh of relief before bringing her gaze up. Lucas and Henrik hugged each other, and Kisa frowned: she was the reason Henrik got dumped tonight. She voted him out, to save his best mate.

Reluctantly, she made her way to the boys, avoiding Lucas’s gaze.

“Hey,” She looked at the blond guy. “Can we talk, please?”

Henrik nodded and they made their way back to the bench, now empty as everyone went upstairs.

“I’m sorry it ended up like this,” Kisa’s lips pursed into a thin line.

“It’s not your fault,” Henrik shook his head. “It wasn’t your decision, the public just didn’t see me as boyfriend material,” He chuckled.

“But I… I voted for you as the least datable last night,” She was never the one to feel guilty for doing what’s best for her, but this guy was genuinely a good person and did nothing wrong. “I... “ 

She trailed off, not sure what to say. She couldn’t exactly tell him that she did what she did to save his best mate here, could she? This bromance was strong, and she didn’t want to be the one to put it to test.

“You did what you had to do,” Henrik gave her a sad smile. “Just… take care of him, okay? He might come across as this arrogant prick but he’s not just that.”

Kisa nodded absentmindedly, trying not to overthink how easily everyone assumed she fancied Lucas. She only saved him, so she had a shot at winning this stupid thing, that is. Right?

“Don’t you worry about him,” Kisa managed a smile.

“We should go… I still need to pack.”

He hugged her, and the girl hugged him back, her mind somewhere else. She thought about her kiss with Lucas last night, and her cheeks flushed red. That kiss felt so good and right, and it scared her. She couldn’t let herself slip, couldn’t let him get into her brain and under her skin. He might be a genuinely good guy in disguise, but she had her fair share of good guys who’d turned into monsters just by being with her.

It was almost like she brought the worst things in people to the surface, and it was really, really hard not to blame herself for that.

Henrik slowly walked her up the stairs to the main level, and they bumped into Lucas.

“I’m gonna go and pack my stuff,” The blond smiled knowingly and gave Kisa’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Lucas eyed her up and down, frowning.

“So… you’ll miss Henrik, won’t you?” His voice sounded strained, and the girl looked up at him, locking their eyes.

“Won’t you?”

“I will,” Lucas nodded, his features softening just a tad. “We came here together, so we were close from the start.”

Kisa felt the heat of his body enveloping her into a lingering embrace, and took a little step closer as if pulled by a string. Lucas was about to say something else but stopped in his tracks, noticing how close they were to each other.

Seeing her and Henrik sitting together at the firepit made his stomach tight into a knot but now… she didn’t look like it’s Henrik she fancies after all. Her large green eyes framed in ink-black lashes fluttered to his lips for a brief moment, and Lucas’s breath stuttered a tad.

A loud hum of voices coming from the Villa brought them back into reality: it was the time to say goodbye to two dumped boys.

“Shall we?” Lucas nodded towards the building, and they slowly made their way to meet the others.

Kisa’s heart was thumping inside her chest.

_I’ve almost kissed him… Another moment, and I would’ve kissed him first._

It was all decided. If he wants her, he can have her – but she won’t succumb first. If he actually wants her, he has to work for it.

_Just don’t fall for him, please, don’t be naïve… He might not be here for the money, but he isn’t here for love, either. He just wants a good time, nothing more. You’ll be his good-time girl, and when the show’s over, he’ll tell you it was fun, and he’ll be gone._

_Please, just don’t be stupid._

Priya and Bobby spotted her standing a bit aside and waved her over.

“Hey,” She managed a smile, walking up to them.

“Me and Bobby want to toast some marshmallows and hang out by the firepit,” Priya measured the younger girl with her eyes. “It’d be cool if you joined us, right, Bob?”

Bobby nodded enthusiastically; his arm wrapped gently around his girl’s waist.

“Absolutely! Bring your guitar and we’ll have a proper campfire party!”

“Did I hear the word ‘party’?” Gary chimed in.

Priya rolled her eyes but nodded.

“Just a little private VIP event,” She winked at him. “No petty bitches allowed,” Priya threw a meaningful look at Marisol, who was walking down the stairs with Rocco.

“Gotcha,” Gary winked back. “That’s my bedshare rule from now on.”

Kisa laughed, feeling the knot in her stomach loosening up. Finally, Henrik and Rocco said their goodbyes and left, followed by half-hearted applause. Kisa’s missed most of Rocco’s dipshit speech and waved at him coldly as he tried to hug her goodbye.

“We’re waiting for you,” Priya cuddled the younger girl before wandering off to the kitchen with Bobby.

Lucas was watching her from afar, and Kisa’s heart went faster again.

_I’m officially single now, and so is he… It makes sense for us to couple up. And there’s no one else anyway…_

She frowned at her thoughts, keenly aware that she’s just making excuses. She wanted him, plain and simple. Since the first time she saw him, she wanted him, and it scared the hell out of her. She had no more heart to break, and no more pride to spare. If this man destroys her, it’ll be the last of her.

Kisa made her way to him, steps heavy and uncertain.

“A few of us are having a little private party by the firepit. Bobby will toast some marshmallows and I’ll play the guitar. You’re welcome to join.”

Without waiting for him to respond, she went upstairs to change into her pajama. She brushed her teeth and slipped on her favorite black satin set with white trimming and looked in the mirror. Hesitantly, she tossed her loose curls to create more volume and spritzed herself with perfume.

_What am I doing?_

She grabbed Gia and rushed back downstairs. Bobby, Priya, Gary, and Rahim were already there, laughing at Bobby’s Rocco impression.

“Oi, Kisa!” Gary sent her a flirty smile. “You look great as always!”

“I thought you’re a crane operator, not a fisherman,” She winked at him, sending everyone into giggles. “I’ve been single for like five minutes.”

“I’m a man of many talents,” He winked back. “Will you sing for us?”

“Only if you ask nicely.”

Priya patted the space next to her, but Kisa shook her head slightly and sat just a bit aside from the others with her legs crossed on the bench, and slowly ran fingers across the strings.

“Any requests?” She asked.

“Play one of your songs,” Priya smiled at her. “I wish I could sing…” She sighed. “But well, I’ve got you for that now.”

Kisa sent her a grateful smile. “You know it, baby-girl.”

The fire crackling and the warm evening air helped her body to finally relax, and she started playing.

 _“…_ _Wasn't raised religious_ _  
But I wish that I was  
Havin' nothin' to believe in  
Has been killin' my buzz…”_

Soft, barely there, melody poured from under her fingers, carrying her far away, somewhere she was a completely different person. Maybe, she’d be someone like Bobby: she’d cracked jokes and laughed at herself, not letting her insecurities get to her. Maybe, she’d be like Priya, bold and confident but also warm and bright.

Maybe, she’d be like all those people around her, living their lives without overthinking each word they say, each step they make… She could just be anyone else, really, anyone but herself.

 _“…Yeah, I cut my hair, close the blinds_ _  
Play Hallelujah like two dozen times  
And yesterday, I tried to pray  
But I didn't know what to say…”_

It might have been the air, or maybe, she just got too tired of pretending to be someone she wasn’t, someone she’s become but hated so very much… But she needed somebody to really hear her, not just this sad little song she sang with her light, ringing voice cracking just a little when the lyrics needed to hit the listener’s feels…

She needed somebody to hear beyond that, to see beyond her stubborn jawline and black and red wardrobe, and to feel her… at least, for just this moment.

She usually didn’t mind the attention, she loved it if nothing else, but right now… she’d swap all the success in the world for just one person who could really see her. All of her, see her for who she is and everything she’s not.

They all listened to her, their eyes locked on the rare sight of her face not twitched in a frown, and her lips not curled into a sarcastic smirk, and her voice soft and gentle. She dragged her gaze from one islander to another. Ibrahim closed his eyes, enjoying the melody… Gary was checking her out subtly in his adorable manner… Priya’s head was resting against Bobby’s shoulder, and his arm was wrapped around her waist.

 _“…I'm too sad to cry, too high to get up_  
Don't even try 'cause I'm scared to fuck up  
Don't like to talk, I just lay in my bed…”

She looked up to meet Lucas’ intense stare. Unlike the others, he didn’t submerge to the slow melody and her silky voice, his eyes were searching for something in her face- and Kisa could only hope that he’ll find whatever that is he’s looking for.

It was so stupid of her, to hope that this time things will be different. Nothing is ever different for her, no matter how much she wishes for it to be. She’ll fall for this guy and he’ll break her heart – that was the circle of her life, so why even bother trying?

_“…I try and I try, but I'm too sad to cry…”_

The last guitar riffs hung in the air as Kisa’s fingers brushed the strings for the last time, drawing a sad, lingering accord. For a moment, there was the silence – and then, the hum of voices and applause and praise.

Priya brushed the tears off her face, rushing to hug her friend.

“It was… _beautiful_ ,” The older girl’s arms pulled Kisa into a tight embrace, their hair entangling together.

“Do you play this often?” Bobby wondered; his face was impossible to read as he looked deeply into Kisa’s eyes.

“Not really,” She slightly pulled away from Priya. “It’s just a bit too far beyond our usual style.”

Bobby nodded, studying her for a few more moments before turning his attention to the marshmallows.

“Mind if I sit here?” Lucas asked after plopping down next to her.

Kisa rolled her eyes.

“Usually, people ask for permission before doing something.”

“Well, I wasn’t really asking for your permission,” He raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. “Just got curious whether you’d mind my presence.” His lips stretched into his usual jeering smirk when he leaned closer. “But something tells me, you don’t.”

His arm snaked around her neck, resting on her shoulder. He didn’t pull her in, leaving a bit of space between them. He smelled of patchouli and cedarwood and sea salt, reminding Kisa of the Kite beach, where her grandparents used to take her when she visited them.

They toasted marshmallows and laughed and talked, and Lucas’ arm was wrapped around her neck the entire time, his hand resting on the girl’s shoulder, fingers brushing her collarbone when one of them moved.

With a sad sigh, Rahim looked at his phone.

“It’s getting pretty late… I guess I’ll head upstairs.”

“Yeah, time to hit the hay,” Gary frowned. “Though I’ll probably crash on the sofa tonight.”

“You can take my bed,” Kisa suggested. “I’m not going upstairs tonight either way.”

She felt Lucas’ grip tighten just a little.

“Night, Kisa,” Bobby smiled at her. “And Lucas… you know, in case I don’t see you tonight,” He winked at them, and Priya nudged him.

“Don’t listen to him,” She rolled her eyes. “I figured if you smile and nod enough, he’ll be happy anyway.”

“Oi!” Bobby pouted, but there was a mischievous spark in his eyes.

“Night, guys,” Kisa smiled at them, feeling her heartbeat going faster with each second.

When everyone was gone, Lucas titled his head to the side to get a better look at her.

“So, you’re sleeping outside?”

She nodded, not sure that her voice won’t tremble if he speaks now.

“Would you like some company?”

Kisa raised an eyebrow at him: “Are you just curious again?”

He gave her a long, studying look before leaning over to start kissing her neck. It was too unexpected and too good to resist. For a second, her body stiffened, and Lucas gently ran his fingers up her arms and across her shoulders, kneading her muscles gently to release the tension.

Her mind went silent as her body soaked in his affections.

Lucas’ mouth made her skin burn wherever it touched her, and her knees would already buckle if she wasn’t sitting.

“You can always say ‘no’, and I’ll stop,” His dark, law whisper made the little hairs on her hands bristle. “But you’ll have to mean it.”

He moved his lips down her neck, brushing it faintly across her collarbone, following a trail of kisses across her chest, and up her throat, his tongue hot and teasing. She should’ve said ‘no’, she knew him for all of three days, he was a stranger… But this stranger treated her better than those she gave months and years of her life.

_Maybe just for these next five weeks… can I at least pretend to be happy? Can I have just this long?_

Finally, her hands came into motion, slowly mapping their way up the taut muscles of Lucas’ arms, snaking around his neck, tilting his head up. His eyes were the color of melted chocolate, alluring and smoldering, and she didn’t care how many girls have seen this exact stare before – and how many more will fall under their spell after he’s done with her.

She’ll regret it, she knew it. She already regretted it.

Her fingers coaxed his chin closer to her, and Kisa finally leaned into a kiss, pressing her lips against his mouth. Lucas stilled for a second, letting her decide on the pace and intensity, and it crashed all her defenses that were still present until that moment.

She pushed him against the backrest of the bench, throwing one leg over his hips to straddle him. Her knees were pressed into the bench on both sides of him for stability when she deepened the kiss, brushing her tongue against his. His hands wandered up and down her back before coming to rest on her hips, their grip secure and reassuring.

He kissed her deliberately, savoring every moment of it like she was his favorite wine, expensive and intoxicating, the one to drink slowly, relishing every sip.

He felt so good she almost let a soft moan escape her mouth – almost.

Slowly, Kisa pulled away, her breath uneven and pupils blown wide. Lucas grinned.

“So, it was a yes? You would like some company tonight?”

She looked deeply into his eyes and leaned in to whisper: “It wasn’t a no.”

With her heart pounding out of her chest, she leaned into another kiss, deep and urgent, and full of fear. She clenched her hands at his gelled hair, pulling it slightly.

His mouth left her lips, trailing a chain of wet open-mouthed kisses across her cheek.

“I hate it when someone touches my hair,” His hot breath ghosted on her neck as the man whispered into her ear.

“I frankly don’t care.”

She pulled his hair harder making Lucas tilt his head and look up at her. There was a moment of hesitation in his eyes before he let out a soft chuckle.

“Fair play,” He pushed himself up to meet her lips once again, and his hands moved down her body, outlining the curves of her figure, mapping the planes and the lines.

Kisa’s short silk dress slipped up, exposing a few more inches of her alabaster skin, and she didn’t stop Lucas’ fingers raking across her thighs. One of her hands left his hair and was now cupping his cheek, using it as leverage to deepen the kiss even more as she shifted her hips in his lap, drawing a little gasp out of man’s throat.

The sound of his desire went straight into her core, making her moan into his mouth. It was long, too long since she’s been with someone, and now all it took for her to start grinding against him was just this kiss, and the sensations of his skin pressed against her.

She teased his lower lip between her teeth before moving her mouth down his jawline and neck, leaving a path of hot sloppy kisses. Her hand tangled even more into his hair, while another was busy tugging on the collar of his t-shirt to expose more of his skin.

Lucas chuckled softly and yanked his t-shirt off in one deft movement.

“Better now?” He pressed his lips to her shoulder, and Kisa felt his mouth stretching into a cocky grin.

She could feel her pulse everywhere when his hands moved up her stomach while his lips moved to her collarbone. Her nipples were hard under the silk fabric of her dress, and she barely held a load whimper when his hand cupped her breast, thumb circling the bud slowly. It wasn’t enough, her body needed to feel him more, skin to skin, and her mind was ready to give in.

She wasn’t like this, not in the slightest. She was the girl who never had a casual hookup, even though people always assumed she was the one to have a good time with. She was the one to fall fast and hard, and when she did, she was all in, willing to do almost anything to make her partner happy.

She wasn’t the one to straddle the guys she’s met three days ago and kiss him until her lips are sore and swollen, and grind on his hard cock until her underwear is damp with yearning.

Lucas lost his self-assured grin somewhere on the road, his breath hot and heavy, and his body aching with desire to take her, make her his own. The lights in the Villa went down, and the fire in the pit burned out, leaving them in the darkness. His hands slowly moved up her thighs, cupping her ass to pull the girl even closer.

He felt his heartbeat in his throat, and his cock was pulsing with desire and need. She was so fierce and passionate, and she felt really good pressed into the bulge in his trousers. And also… she just felt good.

When she smiled and laughed at Bobby’s silly jokes. When she scowled at Hope and Marisol. When she pushed him out of her way when he tried flirting with her. And when she moaned into his ear, raking her nails across his shoulders.

Little bursts of light exploded before his eyes as she rolled her hips harder against him.

Despite whatever people assumed, he wasn’t this playboy who beds anything that walks. He had a few hookups in his early twenties, but it wasn’t really him - going out just to meet someone to fuck. And honestly, coming here, he didn’t think much about what he’s going to do in a situation like this.

He was mainly “keep it casual” kind of a guy instead of “fuck anything that moves”.

His hands wandered up her sides, pushing her dress up over her hips and stomach, needing to feel more of her. Kisa exhaled sharply before pulling slightly away.

“What?” His voice broke.

“I-I…” She bit down on her lower lip, studying his face for a moment. “I don’t think I’m ready to go beyond this tonight.”

Slowly, he pulled her dress back down, his entire body screaming in protest. Kisa extracted her hand from his hair and slowly withdrew herself from his lap, plopping down on the bench. Her chest was rising and falling heavily, and her whole body ached with desire.

“Sorry,” He took a firm hold of her hand. “I didn’t mean to push you.”

“You didn’t,” The girl shook her head, trying to recompose herself. “It’s just… well, I really don’t do this ‘casual’ thing, you know?”

“Never?”

Lucas frowned a little: he was nothing but casual.

“Never. I’m very… I fall for people easily, and I don’t want to fall for someone who isn’t serious from the start… Sorry.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, it’s how you feel.”

In his eyes, Kisa could see the argument he’s been having with himself right at this moment.

_You can do it, for the show. Just suck it up and do it for the boys, for your future… He’s here to have a good time and he seems to kind of like you, so just do it. You’ve got nothing to lose._

“Never mind me,” She whispered, leaning into another kiss.

He kissed her back softly but pulled away just after a few seconds.

“Let’s head to bed.”

She frowned at the rejection but there was a little part of her that felt relieved. When they settled in one of the daybeds, Lucas rested his chin on his hand, looking at Kisa intently.

“Can I ask you something?”

She chuckled.

“So, you went from not asking at all to asking out of curiosity and now to asking if you can… ask me?”

The physiotherapist sniggered, rolling his eyes.

“Well, go ahead.”

Kisa rested her head on her crossed hands, ready to hark.

“It’s about what you just said,” He frowned just a little, looking into the distance. “Well, not _only_ about that. It’s mostly about what you said during our date.”

Kisa’s cheeks flushed red at the memory: she did say quite a few things she’d rather take back.

“Do you really see me as this massive control freak and player?”

She had to take a few discreet breathes so her voice wouldn’t shake as she finally spoke.

“I do think that you’re not looking for anything serious here,” The words slowly rolled off her tongue. “You don’t strike me as someone ready to commit and settle down. But you do strike me as someone who enjoys the hunt, and whose interest is present until the point your prey gives in. As soon as the chase is over, you get bored and move on. And about being a control freak…” She pulled on a grin. “You just said you hate when someone touches your hair. I had a feeling, you wanted to say: ‘I don’t let people touch my hair’. So yeah, you’re very much a control freak.”

His low, dangerous laughter filled the air between them, sending goosebumps all over Kisa’s body.

“I know, you studied Music in Cardiff, but you’re well into psychoanalysis, aren’t you?”

“No, that’d be Marisol. I’m just… I just know people.”

Lucas quirked an eyebrow, thinking about her words. He had a feeling that her façade is just a coping mechanism, a way to protect herself from hurt. She and Bobby were the most reserved people in here, he reckoned, but each in their own way. Bobby was hiding behind this ‘clown next door’ mask, and she preferred sarcasm and hot temper.

“People like me?”

She went quiet for a long moment. It was strange, lying in a bed with him, feeling the heat of his body… talking to him. Their usual conversations were mainly bants and flirting, and this was a new, frightening territory. She didn’t like talking about her past relationships, mostly because she was trying hard to forget about it, but… She’s planning to use him to win this thing, so maybe she could at least be honest right here and now?

“I’m twenty-six and single, and I apparently had no better place to be since I’ve decided to come here,” Kisa’s teeth grazed at her lower lip. “I’ve started dating when I was fifteen, and as I’ve mentioned, I’m not the type to… keep it casual. Never been. I had four long-term relationships, and all of them ended ugly… well, not just ended. You know, it’s an old story: girl meets a boy and falls for his sweet talk and grand gestures. And when she does, the boy turns into a dragon and burns her heart out, slowly and painfully.”

He was listening to her intently, almost forgetting to breathe. He figured that her guards are this up high because someone’s hurt her, so this little story didn’t come off as a big surprise. What really stunned him, was his own reaction: he felt this deep need to protect her, to help her move on, to learn that there are people who won’t hurt her…

But how he could promise her that if he himself is clearly toxic for her, with his fixation on being the one in control and his fear of commitment?

“So yeah, this is Kisa’s little sad story,” The girl managed a chuckle and a sarcastic smirk.

A cool breeze picked up a strand of her hair and threw it across Kisa’s eyes, and Lucas gently tucked it back behind her ear.

“You know, people might surprise you.”

“Trust me, they do, every day.”

She can’t let her guard down. She can be honest with him, she can tell him her fucking life story – but she can’t let him in. She can’t let herself surrender to him.

“Well, thanks for playing therapist, Dr. Koh,” She looked at him playfully from beneath her lowered lashes. “You’ve got hidden talents.”

He chuckled and nestled into the sheets. He brought his lips to her ear, lowering his voice to an alluring whisper:

“You’ve got no idea.”


	8. Crimson Lace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...So pour it all on me  
> Pour it all on me  
> You know what  
> Shower me with what you're giving..."
> 
> [Vanilla Baby - Billie Marten]

Kisa woke up when something hot and heavy pinned her to the daybed, kicking the breath out of her. She cracked her eyes open trying to figure out if she’s still sleeping and this is just a nightmare, and when she wakes up, she’s back in her Oxford flat.

No such luck.

In his sleep, Lucas wrapped his arm and leg around her, almost climbing her, and now he was breathing heavily into her collarbone. She tried to untangle herself from the web of legs and arms, but he only tightened his grip and mumbled something about… _leather?_

Kisa narrowed her eyes: what on Earth is he dreaming about?

“Hey,” She called out for him. “Wake up, you.”

Lucas shuffled a little and stilled, his face nuzzled into the curve of the girl’s neck. She rolled her eyes, relaxing back against the mattress. In the past week, she shared beds with Bobby, Rocco, Priya, and now Lucas. And it was the first time she woke up well-rested, even though she spent the night on a daybed, and now was trapped into this enfoldment from hell.

She hated cuddling, hated feeling vulnerable, hated letting people get close – but with this man, all her defenses cracked and were ready to come crumbling down. And it scared her senseless. It was too dangerous, falling for him, she knew it. Even if he means no harm right now… how long it’ll take for it to change? How many times she’s been through it, four?

_Haven’t you learned your lesson?_

She had to know better than letting herself get burned again. If it happens again, it’d be no one’s fault but her own.

It was so hard, living in constant fear of pain, of being hurt again… It was hard not to trust a single soul in this world, herself included. She loved Seth, with everything she was, and she loved her boys from the band, but… A small part of her was always on guard, not letting her forget how many times she’s been burned.

_Why is he even here? He doesn’t need the money, and he clearly isn’t looking for the love of his life, either. So, what’s brought him here? Boredom? Need to prove something? Was it just an escape for him? And why on earth he decided that I’d be a good match for him?_

She knew that she was hot. She didn’t need a ton of makeup or revealing dress to turn heads wherever she went. But… she didn’t seem like the type of girl this posh boy would want by his side? Priya would make so much more sense: she was stunning, too, but also much softer and warmer, like a little sun. Priya had this goofy side to her while still being an adult. She was a woman anyone would be lucky to call his… _So why did he pick me?_

She hasn’t noticed that Lucas’s woken up and was now watching her face from beneath his dark eyelashes. He studied her face, trying to figure out what exactly she’s been thinking about right at that moment.

She was deeply hurt and distrustful, that much he knew.

Lucas was genuinely surprised when she made the first step last night. She kissed him, and he knew that part of her was willing to go way beyond kissing.

 _But she stopped,_ he reminded himself. _Because she’s not casual._

He didn’t have much time to really think about her words then, but now, in the light of the day, her little confession was hanging above them like a heavy cloud. She doesn’t do casual relationships, and he doesn’t do, well, _relationships_. Where does it leave them? He came to Love Island to have a bit of fun, not to get sucked into this whole commitment thing, he wasn’t looking to settle down, nothing like that.

Wouldn’t it be better for both of them to call it a day now?

He glanced at her again.

Deep in thought, she looked like a different person. Now, when she thought that no one could see her, she didn’t have her usual mask on, and she looked beautiful. Not hot, or sexy, or whatever – she was beautiful. Her large pine-green eyes framed with long black eyelashes looked completely out of this world, and her fair skin almost glittered under the first sunrays.

Lucas caught the moment she shook off her haze, and he stretched excessively, giving her time to pull on whatever mask she felt like wearing today.

“Morning,” He faked a yawn, rolling onto his back.

Kisa tried stretching her arms and winced in pain.

“You okay?” Lucas propped himself up on his elbow, a worried look in his eyes.

“No, I’m not. Someone’s been using me like a bloody cuddle bear all night long,” She huffed under her breath, and Lucas couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “Oh, is that funny to you?” She wiggled her arm at him. “I’m sore. Fix me.”

His eyebrows arched in amusement.

“What are you waiting for?” She flopped her arm heavily across his chest. “Aren’t you the one who bragged about being good at massages?”

Lucas chuckled, pushing himself to sit up straight and took a firm hold of the girl’s arm, kneading her muscles gently to find the sore spots.

“Roll over,” He ordered. “Face down.”

She huffed but obliged. Lucas straddled her hips and put both of his hands to girl’s shoulders digging fingers deep into her skin.

“You’re just one sore spot,” He noted. “You need a proper twelve-treatment session to remove the tension buildup.”

“Is that an offer, Doc?”

“If you ask nicely,” His fingers were moving slowly up and down her back and neck, kneading her muscles firmly.

Kisa huffed but it turned into a moan a moment later, as he found a tight knot of muscles at the base of her neck.

“Go harder,” She said under her breath, and he obliged, eagerly.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

He could swear that he’s heard her rolling her eyes at this comment and couldn’t help a little grin. Slowly, he moved his hands down to the small of her back, melting even more pressure away.

“You don’t really work out, do you?” He asked, massaging her sides, his fingers slipping constantly, annoying the hell out of physio.

_I can’t exactly tell her to strip, can I?_

“What brought you to that conclusion?” Her voice was a bit muffled as she replied. “I hang out at the gym sometimes, but I only do cardio… sometimes, not often.”

“You need to stretch your muscles,” Lucas moved his hands to her left arm. “Cardio won’t do much for that. You need to get into yoga.”

“Thank you, but no thank you. If I ever want to get myself into a weird position, I’ll just have shower sex.”

Lucas sputtered.

“You really are something.”

“Something good?” Suddenly, Kisa twisted her body, and the next moment he was staring into her eyes as she lied flat on her back, beneath him. Her satin sleepshirt pulled up, exposing her stomach, and his eyes fluttered to the milky-white smooth island of skin just above the waistband of her shorts.

“The jury’s still out,” He raised an eyebrow at her, sneering.

Something about him made her weak. His fucking smug grin, his smoldering eyes, his hands resting on her hips… Everything about him made her feel things she didn’t want to feel, at least, not for someone like Lucas.

She wasn’t blind. When she said she wants a serious relationship, it scared him off. Maybe, not completely, but it was obvious where his head’s at. He clearly doesn’t see himself settled down, married, and with kids. Kisa wasn’t ready to start a family either, but she knew that one day she will be, and she needed a person by her side who’s open to this possibility, who knows that one day they’ll wake up to realize that all those money and fame cost shit without people to share it with.

 _He only wants this good-time girl, he doesn’t want you,_ she reminded herself, looking in two melted chocolates that his eyes were. Unconsciously, she dragged her gaze down his bare chest, all the way to the taut muscles of his stomach, and then up his strong arms.

“Like what you see?” Lucas caught her staring and a smug smirk stretched across his lips.

Sometimes he seemed so sincere and genuine… but most of the time, he was just an absolute prick that annoyed the hell out of her.

Kisa sniffed irritably, rolling her eyes so hard her head hurt.

“Get off me.”

Suddenly, his smirk turned into a wicked grin, and he leaned towards her, grabbing both of her wrists with one of his hands, pinning them above her head.

“Let go,” She said calmly.

“Make me.”

Her heart was pounding out of her chest at this instant change in atmosphere. It wasn’t like she was afraid that he might hurt her – but she hated when someone got handsy without permission, especially, someone who’d she known for all of five minutes.

“You sure?”

Her eyes darkened, and suddenly, it was he who felt exposed. Lucas swallowed through the lump in his throat, holding onto his cocky appearance like for dear life. Suddenly, he wasn’t the predator anymore – she was. 

With a swift, graceful movement, she twisted her wrists out of his grip, flipping their positions so fast, Lucas only realized he was flat on his back when her long hair brushed his chest as Kisa leaned forward. Now, it was his hands clasped tightly in her fingers, and she straddled his thighs, her knees pressed on both sides of him firmly.

She looked down at him, one eyebrow raised.

“So, you like it _this_ way?”

A devil inside of him pushed Lucas into her, to the point his shoulders hurt as his hands were still caught into Kisa’s tight grip.

“I like it any way you like it, love.”

His lips crashed against hers in a messy, deep kiss as his tongue grazed hers, roaming her mouth, fighting for dominance. She could feel his wrists twitching slightly, and she knew that his shoulders should be burning by now. He didn’t pull away, continuing pressing himself into her as his mouth moved across her jawline and down her neck, licking, biting, and sucking.

She knew how easily she bruised, and she was supposed to stop him – but instead, she pressed herself into his mouth, gasping as he found a pulse point at the base of her neck and sucked sensitive skin between his teeth.

She wasn’t in control with him, and it was terrifying.

With her free hand, she pushed him onto the back leaning over to start kissing his neck, mixing kisses with bites, her other hand still holding a grip of his wrists. A soft moan left his mouth when she shuffled in his lap and his hips jerked up involuntarily.

He was so hard it was almost crazy how turned on this kiss got him. Lucas shifted beneath her to ease the pressure but instead, he ended up grinding against her. She didn’t stop kissing him, her tongue traced a hot wet path from one collarbone to another before she returned her mouth to his lips.

Ends of her satin shirt were brushing his stomach, making the muscles twitch, and he couldn’t contain another quiet moan. She caught it with her mouth and then rolled her hips, making him gasp. His hands were still caught into her tight grip, and somehow, it turned him on, even more, the way this porcelain doll of a girl took control over him.

He figured it yesterday: she had to be in control, she _needed_ to be in charge to feel… safe?

She started grinding on him, her free hand moving slowly across his chest and down his abs, and slowly back up, and he groaned, feeling the _need_ to touch her, too.

He wiggled his hands a little and felt a sharp pain in the tensed muscles of his arms and shoulders and froze for a second. The girl pulled away immediately, studying his face for a second, and then looked at his hands.

“I’m gonna release you but it’ll be less painful if you lower them onto your stomach first.”

Without waiting for his reaction, Kisa pulled his hands down, and Lucas almost gasped: if that was less painful…

She released his wrists slowly, and his hands flopped on both sides of the man, making him clench his jaw not to let out a whine of pain. As a physio, he knew it was the right thing to lower his hands – but how she would know?

“So, you do this often then?” Lucas managed a smirk.

_And here we go again…_

She started climbing off his body when Lucas suddenly sat up, with her still on top of his thighs.

“Hold on,” He said quietly into space between them.

“Others will be up soon,” She avoided his gaze. “I’m not looking forward to their stupid comments if they catch us like this.”

“I just wanted to say,” He nudged her chin with his nose to make the girl look up at him and grinned. “Your next massage session is scheduled for 10 o’clock tonight.”


	9. A Sea of Roses.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 29/1/2021  
> This chapter is the second part of ch8 that I had to add separately because AO3 is dumb

“Hey, you,” Priya nudged Kisa’s hip with her toes, gracefully lowering herself on the pool coping next to the younger girl. “Your shoulders are turning pink.”

Priya grabbed a tube of sunscreen and shuffled to sit behind Kisa’s back.

“You’re a saint,” Kisa smiled at the cooling sensation of sunscreen on her hot skin.

They both went silent. In the pool, Bobby and Gary were playing with an inflatable ball, splashing, and laughing, and Kisa returned her gaze back to them. It was a nice, quiet morning that’s been turning into a lazy afternoon, and she could only hope that it’ll stay that way until it’s time to go to bed.

One drama-free day was exactly what they all needed desperately.

“So,” Priya finished rubbing sunscreen in the other girl’s shoulders and lied down, resting her head in Kisa’s lap. “How was last night?”

_And here we go again…_

“It was… nice.”

“Nice?” Priya raised an eyebrow at her. “Is it Lucas we’re talking about? He doesn’t strike me like a nice type at all.”

Kisa rolled her eyes, adjusting her mic. Every morning producers reminded them of “the importance of discussing Villa events” and they all nodded in agreement, dying inside a bit.

_Who the fuck talks about their relationship all the time? My brain will shrink to the size of a walnut by the time I’m out of here._

Priya wasn’t entirely wrong. Lucas wasn’t nice, at least, he wasn’t supposed to be. His self-assured smugness rubbed her the wrong way but… But there was this other side, the side he didn’t show much to others but for some reason showed to her – and it freaked her out. She was way too used to the opposite: men who are nice and perfect in everyone’s eyes but who broke her in pieces behind the closed doors.

She shook her head, trying to get rid of her own thoughts.

“I didn’t say he _is_ nice. I said I had a nice time, hanging out with you and then, with him,” She felt her cheeks flushing red. “It was just refreshing, not listening to someone’s travel stories or getting dragged into another prank,” Kisa glanced at Bobby.

After Hope stole Noah and they ended up together, Bobby decided Kisa needed cheering up and found no better way to do so than moving Hope’s clothes to boys’ dressing room and Noah’s to girls’ while Kisa distracted the new couple with a little scene.

“I thought you don’t like drama,” Dark-haired girl noted after Bobby strutted out of the Villa with a grin on his face.

“It was a useful drama, so it’s cool.”

Unfortunately, the prank fell flat since one of the staff members thought it was a mistake and switch everything back before the Big Nope had a chance to find out.

Priya followed her gaze and smiled at Bobby as he shook his head like a puppy, sending splashes everywhere.

“You two were coupled up… it seems like so long ago, it’s crazy.”

“Well, we were for like a day, and then this bombshell of a woman swooped in and the boy was gone,” Kisa smirked at the older girl, stroking a strand of hair out of her face. “You know, you look like a movie star. Or a supermodel. How come you’re an estate agent?”

Priya let out a bark.

“You’re a charmer, you… I did modeling in my early twenties. I used to be hella insecure about the way I looked growing up, so my mom shoved me into this modeling school to kinda raise my self-esteem and show me that beauty can be different, not just those Playboy girls… But I guess, I wasn’t prepared for the amount of petty drama and bitching…” Priya shook her head. “I told ya, I don’t like most of the females, and being in the modeling industry really proved me right.”

Indian beauty pushed herself up and placed a kiss on Kisa’s chin.

“You’re an exception, obviously.”

“Maybe it’s cos I do it like a dude?”

The younger girl wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and for a second, they both froze before bursting into laughter.

Priya’s phone beeped loudly.

“Scuse me,” She took a deep breath. “Guys! I’ve got a text!”

Bobby and Gary swam up to them.

“Looking hotter than the sun, Kisa,” Gary smirked.

Since this whole Roccogate, crane operator became way more flirty than before, though he never really tried grafting her, so she didn’t give it much thought… but it’d be better if he focused his attention on someone else.

_Lottie? She’s clearly not that into Rahim anyway._

Kisa frowned a bit, watching Bobby and Priya from beneath her lashes subtly. They were a good match, the sparks between them were flying, but… Bobby had this Peter Pan syndrome going on, and Priya deserved better than this always a child of a man. _If he doesn’t grow up, he’ll end up alone._

Finally, everyone gathered around them, and Priya read the text.

“Islanders! Tonight, there will be a girls’ choice recoupling. To help you, ladies, make the right choice, we’re holding a pick-your-own-date this afternoon. The first girl to choose her date is…”

Kisa’s phone beeped.

“You’re going first?” Marisol scowled. “Who’d guessed?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kisa raised an eyebrow at her but shook her head immediately. “Whatever.”

She looked around. There wasn’t much choice for her, right? She rejected Noah’s advances, Bobby was off the table, Rahim and Gary too. There was only one person for her, and by the way, his mouth stretched into a poised grin, she could tell that he knew it, too.

She rolled her eyes at him, tutting.

“I chose Lucas.”

Marisol rolled her eyes when Lucas slowly walked up to Kisa and draped his arm around her shoulders.

“Great choice,” He gave her a smug smirk. “And, evidently, great taste.”

“You guys look stunning together,” Priya grinned at them both. “Like Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Don’t they die in the end?” Gary mused.

“Well, we all will,” Priya waved her hand dismissively. “Anyway, pipe down, or no one will pick you for a date and you’ll end up with miss Last Resort.”

Before the drama heated up, Lucas tugged on Kisa’s hand.

“Let’s get out of here before hell breaks loose.”

They walked back into the Villa, loud voices audible even from inside.

“Could you, like, get ready fast?” She frowned. “I only need five minutes.”

Lucas raised an eyebrow at her.

“Even I need more than five minutes.”

“That’s because you’re a self-centered narcissist,” She said casually, but there was a mischievous spark on the bottom of her eyes. “I’ll see you downstairs.”

Kisa walked past him, determined to get ready before other girls occupy the dressing room. She evaluated herself in a full-length mirror and grabbed one of the makeup wipes to freshen up her face. She wasn’t wearing any makeup and wasn’t planning to since the date would probably be under the open sun.

Instead of a dress she picked a black figure-hugging strapless romper with deep décolletage and attached sheer lacey skirt.

“Bonnie and Clyde,” She sniggered to herself. “As if.”

She paired her dress with black stilettos and rushed out of the dressing room, bumping into Priya on her way out. The older girl looked furious.

“What’s going on?” Kisa caught Priya’s hand, but the other girl only shook her head.

“I’ll tell you when we’re all back, I don’t want you to get worried about me.”

“I’m already worried, what’s wrong?”

Priya quickly pulled her into a hug.

“It’s fine, babes, just go and have fun on your date, okay?”

Before Kisa could say anything else, she was gone. Frowning, the green-eyed girl walked out of the main doors. A car was already waiting for them, and Tim greeted her with a broad smile.

“Oi oi! Someone’s looking good!”

She walked over to the driver and rested her elbows against the lowered window.

“How come you’re always so cheerful?”

“Spending six weeks in exotic island always helps,” He winked at her. “You should try it sometime.”

Kisa rolled her eyes but couldn’t hold back a tiny grin.

“Oh look,” Tim pointed at the Villa entrance. “Is he your date?”

“Sorta.”

“Sorta?”

“He might be my date – or, the guy who acted like a total prick and ended up tossed off the cliff.”

Tim barked in laughter, and Kisa walked around the car to meet Lucas and the camera guy, following him.

_Son of a bitch looks ridiculously hot._

Lucas was wearing a half-open white dress shirt and just above the knee deep-metallic shorts, and somehow, this look worked perfectly for him, shark-tooth necklace included.

“So, did you actually kill that poor fish?” Kisa asked when they climbed inside the car.

“What?” His dumbfounded face was priceless, and she wished she could just snap a photo and put it on the fridge.

She pointed at his necklace.

“I assume, it’s a real shark tooth. Usually, hunters kill their prey and take a trophy. So, did you kill it or you’re just a sissy prat who bought the necklace cos it looked cute?”

Lucas stared at her somehow amused, while Tim was dying laughing, unsuccessfully covering it with coughing.

“I feel so lucky going on a date with a charmer like yourself.”

“And you should be,” She stated. “Otherwise, you’d ended up with Marisol, who’d psychoanalyzed the life out of you.”

“So, you’re my savor?”

“Damn right. I expect a check in the mail.”

It was so incredibly easy to just be herself around him. Most of the people here couldn’t really take a joke, so she ended up barely speaking to any of them. Most of the girls were too intimidated by her, and their defense mechanism was always bitching and while she herself wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine, it was just draining, their constant bickering over everything.

She spent moth of her time with Priya and Bobby, and when they both were unattainable, she’d hang out with the boys at the gym, pretending to be working out. Rahim and Noah were too sensitive for her sense of humor, and while Gary was always up for some flirty banter, she preferred to keep him at arm’s length.

With Lucas, she didn’t need to hold back, trying to spare his fragile ego – she figured, his weakness lies somewhere else.

And that was yet another reason to stay away from him.

He was ridiculously fit which didn’t hurt, but she wasn’t the one to fall for someone’s appearance. It was always small things like this that matter to her. Her mind was constantly racing, and she needed someone who’d be able to keep up with her. Someone who could go from watching a sitcom about four nerds and their hot neighbor to a heated argument about irony in Plato’s works in a span of minutes.

She could fall for him, she knew it.

Finally, the car stopped, and Lucas helped Kisa climb out of it.

“You look stunning, as always,” He noted as they walked slowly down the alley towards an old building hidden behind the trees.

“You just noticed?” She raised an eyebrow at him, and Lucas laughed. “I wonder what is this place?”

“Looks like an old temple, you know, like a place they praised Aphrodite or someone.”

Kisa arched her eyebrows.

“What?” Lucas shrugged. “I don’t just drive a motorbike and give cute girls free massages,” He smirked.

“I see,” She said slowly. “Growing up, I was obsessed with everything Ancient times. Gods, philosophers, history, everything. My grandfather taught Classics before he retired, and he and jida - gran - moved to Dubai.”

She didn’t know why she said this, she never shared anything about her life on the outside.

Lucas spotted her body going tense and threw his arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer. It was a casual gesture, like the one from before, when she picked him for a date, and Kisa couldn’t tell if she liked it or hated. She allowed this level of chummy manners to Seth and the boys, and now Priya, but Lucas… it was different. Like it meant more than just casual.

Kisa shook it off as they walked under the dome, their steps echoing off the walls and marble floor. There was an altar in the middle of the temple, all decorated with flowers, with a champagne bottle resting in a bucket of ice and two glasses.

The cameraman followed them in a distance, giving them instructions on how to sit and how to avoid ruining the audio with echo. Kisa spotted another camera set up to film them while they’re sitting. There was never any privacy in this place, not even on a fucking date. Finally, the camera guy left them, leaving his camera on a tripod, and Kisa could hear it zooming in and out from time to time.

“So, you have Arab roots, right?” Lucas asked, pouring champagne into their glasses.

“Not exactly, my gran was half-Persian,” She replied. “Growing up, I didn’t see my parent much, they are both career-obsessed, so I’d spend most of the time with my grandparents. When grandpa retired, they moved to Dubai and I’d spend summer vacations with them.”

“So, you must speak Arabic? And Farsi?”

“Barely,” She felt her chest tightening. “I used to speak Arabic fluently since I’ve spent a few summers in Emirates but it’s been years since I’ve been there or used the language…” She trailed off. “My gran spent most of her life in the UK, so she never taught me Farsi, maybe just some words and phrases.”

Lucas was listening to her intently, realizing that this is easily the first time this girl spoke of her family. He could sense that there’s some deep pain behind her words but wasn’t going to push her for more, not right now.

“Yeah, same for me,” He shifted the conversation effortlessly. “My dad is Korean, but his family moved to the UK when he was six. He speaks Korean, but I never bothered asking him to teach me, and he never insisted.”

“We’re both doing a crappy job of honoring our roots, don’t we?”

He chuckled.

“Probably, some people would think so. But it never really bothered me. I mean, I look Korean-ish, but does it affect my personality? I don’t think so.”

Kisa nodded slowly. She always fell for the small things, and right now, she was falling.

“Hard to affect that cocky prick of a person you are,” She agreed.

Lucas snorted: “I’ve brought it on myself, haven’t I?”

He found it absolutely delightful, the way she turned tables whenever she felt too vulnerable. He wasn’t looking for anything serious, and probably, it’d be better for him to focus his attention on one of the other girls – but she was way too fun, way too intriguing to do so. She wasn’t wrong about him, he loved a good hunt.

He was determined to figure her out, even if it meant spending next month blue balled. 

It was just nice talking to her, throwing bants at each other like a game of ping-pong, trying to get to know her – and opening up to her. When his phone beeped announcing the end of their date, Lucas helped Kisa to her feet, holding her gaze for a long moment before pressing his mouth to her lips.

It was sweet and brief, and she didn’t hesitate to return it.

“So, you’re picking me tonight?” Lucas pulled away, grinning.

Kisa looked him up and down, biting gently on her lip.

“That’d be a telling, wouldn’t it?”


	10. Splintered Heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...It's only just a game  
> That lover's like to play  
> The ghost of my heart's in a maze  
> Keep on running but I can't escape..."
> 
> [My Heart's in a Maze - CASHFORGOLD]

When Kisa and Lucas got back from their date, the distinctive sounds of loud voices guided them to the kitchen.

“Can’t say I’ve missed this,” Kisa shook her head as they both walked through the first floor.

Priya, Hope, and Marisol were at each other’s throats, the shorter girl was almost jumping on her spot to make up for the difference in their height. Priya’s arms were crossed on her chest, eyes narrowed, and lips pursed in aversion as she spoke.

“… and how petty you could be to do that just in spite?”

“What’s going on here?”

Kisa walked up to the arguing girls, standing just beside Priya. Her eyes darted to Bobby, who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here. Hope, who stood just a few steps from them, tutted.

“Oh, funny _you_ should ask.”

“Hope,” Noah started but the girl cut him short.

“If she didn’t pick Lucas, you wouldn’t end up going on a date with Priya!”

Kisa’s eyes widened.

“What now?”

She was absolutely confused.

_Priya went on a date with Noah because I took Lucas? Does she like him?_

She shook her head: absolutely nothing in this scene made any sense.

“Would someone care to explain what the hell is going on here?” Lucas vocalized her thoughts. “Why my date with Kisa is suddenly the reason for this World War Three?”

“Because for some reason Marisol thought that since Kisa ‘snapped up’ Lucas, she should pick Bobby for her date.”

_What?_

“What?” Kisa asked, dumbfounded. “Like, what?” She turned to Marisol. “You don’t even like Bobby, why’d you do that?”

“I’m not required to give explanations to any of you,” The shorter girl looked pointy at Priya. “You took the guy I wanted, so I took the guy someone else wanted.”

Kisa’s gaze found Bobby again, and her chest boiled with anger. His girl was there, defending herself, and he did nothing to help her out, let alone to prevent this mess.

_He might dislike the drama but it’s fucking life. It won’t be all unicorns, kindness, and positivity all the time._

“And Priya decided to play along and picked Noah!” Hope scowled. “See what you did, Kisa?”

Before she could reply, Lucas walked up to where the four girls were and narrowed his eyes at Hope.

“What Kisa did?” He asked quietly, his voice was filled with steel. “Are you delusional, or just the world’s greatest hypocrite? Unlike everyone, she picked the only single guy, being single herself. She did not disrupt your couples even though she could’ve picked any other guy, and save for Bobby, they’d all be way more excited to spend this time with her than with their current partners.”

Kisa’s heart was hammering in her chest as Lucas spoke. Without a flicker of hesitation, he stood up for, just like he did with Rocco, multiple times. Right now, it was so hard not to fall for him, she had to clench her fists, so her nails were digging into her palms, focusing her on the pain rather than this tingling sensation inside of her chest.

Her heart was growing bigger with every word he said, and it almost kicked the breath out of her. She was standing at the edge of the cliff with one foot hanging in the air, ready to jump, and it was terrifying.

“And we all know that,” Lucas continued, disregarding the stares. “And trust me, Kisa knows that, too. So, can we please stop with this petty bickering and attacking Priya and Kisa, and get back to tanning, working out, and doing stupid challenges, please? And also, Marisol…” He turned to the law student with a look of distaste pressed to his face. “I don’t know where you’ve got the idea that you and I might have any spark or whatever, but you’ve got it wrong. We can be mates, but there’s nothing romantical between us, and never will be.”

Finally, he looked at her, and Kisa felt her stomach tightening into a tight knot as Lucas took a step towards her.

“I said this on my first day here, and I can repeat for the cheap seats: out of everyone here, I’m interested in Kisa.”

She didn’t know what to do now, when he really said this n front of everyone, once again. She wanted to trust him, she wanted to trust him so badly her chest hurt. She wanted to forget everything she knew and just trust – but she’d done it before, and it almost crushed her. She can’t just fall for this stranger, no, she can’t do it once again.

“Lucas is right,” Gary cleared his throat. “After all, it was just one date, right? If your partner is serious about you, it won’t change a thing. And if it does… It’s food for thought, at least.”

His glance flickered to Lottie for a second, before the blond turned to Marisol and Hope.

“Priya only did what she had to, I hope we can all agree on that and move on from it. Let’s not ruin the rest of the day with more drama.”

Kisa spotted Lottie giving him a small, private smile as he walked past her heading to the gym. Rahim and Noah followed him, relieved. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Lucas, not alone to speak to him right now, and she turned to Priya.

“You okay?”

The older girl looked like she might either cry or laugh hysterically, and neither was acceptable. Kisa wrapped her arm around Priya’s waist, guiding her back inside the Villa.

“Let’s just go somewhere else,” She suggested before turning to Hope and Marisol, who were both still there, whispering to each other. “Pathetic.”

She said nothing else, but her eyes caught Bobby’s, and she held his gaze for a very long moment, hoping that he’ll read everything she thought about him at that moment in her eyes.

Two girls went upstairs to the rooftop, camera-guy following suit. Kisa hated that every time there was some sort of drama, there was also someone to film it. She was supposed to be okay with being constantly filmed and photographed, right? That’s what she wanted, that’s the reason she’s here – so why does it feel so icky and gross?

“God, I hate this,” Priya flopped ungracefully on the bench. “Thanks for sticking up for me. And tell your knight in shining armor that I’m really thankful for what he said, really. I’ll tell him later too, but I reckon he wants to hear those words from you.”

Kisa rolled her eyes.

“Anyone with any common sense would do the same.”

“Well, no one else did.”

These words hung in the air like a thick, stormy cloud. Priya was absolutely right, only Lucas and then Gary intervened this ridiculous fight, while in reality, it should’ve been Noah and Bobby.

_At least, Noah made a try to calm Hope down… But he really didn’t try that much, did he?_

“I just hate this, it feels like school again,” Priya winced. “And Uni, for that matter. And model agency… god, girls really hate me, don’t they?”

Kisa pulled the older girl into a tight embrace, stroking her back affectionately. She knew exactly what Priya meant, she had such a horrible experience with female friendships, she stopped trying years ago. Before she at least tried to get along with her band members’ girlfriends but soon, she figured they’d hate her no matter how nice she was with them, so she just stopped being nice at all.

“Don’t spend another moment thinking about those two,” Kisa scowled in distaste. “But… I’m sorry that you had to put up with that shit because they couldn’t get back at me.”

“Don’t even think it’s somehow any of your fault,” Priya sniffed into Kisa’s neck. Her voice was muffled as she continued. “Marisol is just salty cos no one wants her and Hope… well, she knows Noah had his eyes on you this entire time.”

“So…” Kisa scratched her lower lip with her teeth. “You picked him for a date…”

“I didn’t have much choice, either he or Rahim and me and Rahim aren’t even friends. Lottie picked Gary for her date which really threw me off since after Marisol snapped Bobby up, I thought I’d pick him. So, when Lottie chose Gary, I’ve decided that I’ll just go with the flow and disrupt the last couple left, out of pettiness.”

Priya frowned a little. She really cared much for neither Noah nor Rahim, but she couldn’t stand the thought that Hope will have a great time with Noah while she’d be stuck with Captain Geekdom. And so, she picked Noah.

“How was the date then?” Kisa asked carefully.

“Better than I thought, actually,” The older girl admitted. “We didn’t do much though, just had a little picnic in the vineyard. We talked a lot about the library he works at in Romford. A friend of mine helped with the archives’ refurbishment, so we talked about that.”

Priya’s face darkened as she continued.

“When we got back, everyone else was in the kitchen so we joined them. And before I could even say ‘hi’ to Bobby, Hope and Marisol were at my throat. Noah managed to calm Hope a bit but that was before you arrived. She went off on you and…fuck this,” She suddenly flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I don’t care anymore. I tried being nice, but they’ve mistaken nice for weakness, and I’m done with that. If Bobby can’t take it, it’s his problem.”

_And finally, the real issue._

“You’ve tried being nice…” Kisa repeated slowly. “Is that… is that why you’ve suddenly started spending time with Hope and Lottie? To make Bobby feel better?”

Priya just shrugged, but the musician knew: she was dead right. And she had absolutely no doubt that Priya was deeply hurt by the fact that her partner did not stand up for her, especially, after she tried so hard to make him happy.

Kisa herself was furious about that, too, even though she wouldn’t tell it to Priya just now. She knew how much these two liked each other, and she knew that they both wanted this relationship to work.

But they clearly needed help.

 _Since when you’ve become eharmony.com?_ Kisa rolled her eyes at her own thoughts.

“You and Bobby should talk when you’re both calm down,” She stroked a soft strand of hair out of Priya’s face. “Tell him how you feel. Tell him that if he wants to be with you, has to have your back no matter who else might get hurt, you always should come first. And if he can’t do that…” Kisa kissed Priya gently on the forehead, wiping tears from beneath the girl’s eyes. “If he can’t grow up and be a man, he’s not the only guy in the Villa. If anything, I can lend you my douchelord of a knight whenever you need.”

Priya’s face lit up with a smile.

“What are you like!” The older girl laughed softly. “Why are you fighting this so much?”

A sudden change in tone made Kisa shiver a little as if she suddenly got chilly. She fought it because she had to protect whatever was left of her fucking heart. She fought it because she’s been there for too many times to think this one will be different. She fought it because trusting him meant falling for him, and she couldn’t fall.

If she falls one more time, she might never get up.

“He likes you, it’s so obvious. He stands up for you. He literally just said that he’s got his eyes only for you, and you’re not even in a couple. Why not give it a shot?”

After Priya’s honesty, she couldn’t just brush this off, like she’d do any other time. If she wanted this friendship to work, she had to be honest, too.

“Because he doesn’t want anything serious,” Kisa replied finally. “Even if he is as good as he sometimes seems, it doesn’t change the fact that he only wants a bit of fun. And I don’t want to be that fun, I can’t just jump off the cliff without a fucking parachute.”

Only saying this out loud made her realize that this was the actual reason why she was so reluctant about Lucas. It wasn’t about her past hurts, and it wasn’t about her fear of him doing 180 like all her exes. She’d go for it, she’d put her heart on the line again if only a tiny part of her believed that it might work out.

She was willing to risk her all, her fucking sanity, her heart, everything – but he didn’t need her to. He only wanted this unattainable wild girl with daddy issues who’d be a lot of fun, but nothing more. And falling for him knowing that this is all he sees her for… She couldn’t do that.

“How do you know you want something serious?” Priya asked quietly. “You’ve known him for like five days.”

“So, you don’t want anything serious with Bobby?” Kisa replied with a question despite jida’s words that it was uncouth.

“I don’t know. I came here to have a good time and meet new people. I’m not expecting to find the One in six weeks since I haven’t managed to do so in twenty-nine years. I like Bobby and I’m willing to take a risk.”

_And that’s the difference between us._

“I’m not,” Kisa said firmly. “I’m willing to jump with a parachute that might not break out, but I’m not jumping with no parachute at all.”

It was all just too much to handle. Coming here was a huge mistake, she just knew it now. She needed that money, and she needed to escape Alex, and she needed to bring attention to her band… But she could’ve done it differently. And now, she’s walking on very thin ice, just waiting for it to break any moment soon now.

“Hey,” Priya draped her arm around Kisa’s shoulders. “Talk to me. You don’t have to tell me everything, but it’ll be easier if you share just a little.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” The younger girl sniggered sardonically. “It’s just… Sometimes, I feel like I’m cursed. I’ve been in relationships with four guys, and each relationship started with fireworks and ended on the bathroom tiles. I see a guy being nice to me and I want to run a mile.”

Kisa frowned, biting hard on her lip. Talking about this felt weird, but at least the camera guy has already left.

“I meet a nice guy. He’s caring, smart, and hot, and he seems to be really into me. He fights for my attention, and I fall for him, hard. And then, he turns into a different person. He disappears for nights and days, and I’m calling hospitals and local morgues, trying not to drive myself mad with all those dark thoughts. He promises to be with me but then tells me his plans have changed, and I’m waiting for him, canceling other plans just to make sure it’s convenient for him. He doesn’t like the way I dress, and I buy new clothes. He hates my mates and I barely speak to them outside the rehearsals and shows.”

She suddenly laughed.

“Fuck, just listen to me. Some people go through abuse and hold on, and I’m whining about not talking to my friends.”

Priya’s dark-chocolate eyes pinned Kisa to her spot as the older girl spoke.

“Don’t,” She said firmly. “Don’t ever think that just because someone didn’t get physical it somehow lessens the pain they caused or makes your struggle insignificant.”

She took a firm hold of Kisa’s hands, caressing them with her thumbs as she continued:

“I feel that you’re not really ready to talk, so just listen. A few years back, I’ve met this one guy. He seemed perfect, in everything. He was smart, ridiculously fit, with enough money to buy this fucking island. He hired my company when he was looking for houses, and I wasn’t even supposed to be his agent. But he saw me at the office and made it clear to my boss that he wants to work with me only.”

Priya’s eyes darkened at the memory, and now they look almost black. She looked down at the lawn, watching Lottie and Bobby as they did laps in the pool for a long minute. She dragged her eyes off the pastry chef and continued, a deep furrow in her brow.

“I thought it was really romantic. He sent me flowers almost every day even though I kept refusing to go on a date with him. He kept insisting, not too pushy to scare me off but persistent enough to make me feel special. Finally, he bought a house and since we weren’t working together anymore, I agreed to dinner with him. For dinner, he took me to fucking Paris on his company PJ. A fucking private jet… It was like a movie. Less than a month in, I moved in to his place. He worked a lot and we had conflicting schedules, so I had to take some time off work, so we could see each other.”

Kisa could see every single word in pictures as if she was there. This was Alex, the first few months of their relationship. Just instead of quitting her work he took her band under his record label, and they were working together, they were together constantly.

“Because of his schedule, I couldn’t really make plans with anyone else. About six months in, I suddenly realized that I haven’t spoken to anyone but him and the housekeeper in weeks. And then, he started acting differently. He could leave the town, country, without telling me, and I’d wait for days for him to come back and his only excuse was that he’s got too caught up in work. It started with things like this, but soon, I was constantly on the verge of a breakdown. I couldn’t even explain this to my parents. My mom thought he was a perfect man for me.”

Priya took a deep breath before continuing.

“It was a cycle: we fought, he bought me a new handbag or bracelet, we made up – and three days later, we fought again. It went like that for about two years. I had no one to talk to, and honestly, I didn’t know what to say. I live with the guy who cancels plans the last moment and never apologizes for it, only buys me stuff? So what if he doesn’t want me to work or hang out with other people, he’s a busy man and wants me to himself when he has the time. I felt so stupid, I felt like I was an ungrateful whiny bitch who’s too spoiled.”

Kisa’s hands squeezed Priya’s comfortingly. That was exactly the way she felt about being unhappy with Alex, and the guys before him. They never did anything _bad_ to her, no one ever called her ugly or hit her, no one ever cheated on her.

She couldn’t tell anyone, she knew that other people’s problems were worse than hers, and she kept silent… She really had no one to tell about this, anyway. She kept her boys as far away from her personal dramas as possible, only Seth knew she wasn’t fine.

“I’ve started drinking, heavily,” The older girl continued. “I’ve spent days and night alone in a huge house, talking to the walls and drinking martini first thing in the morning. He thought it made me more fun in bed.”

After a pause, she continued.

“Once, I was flipping through channels, and there was this show… I don’t remember much, but there was a girl, and she basically told my story, only in her version, she tried killing herself. That was the moment I knew I had to get out. I packed my stuff and left, and moved to Manchester. He tried to get back together, but I knew it’d kill me if I did.”

Kisa’s heart was pounding out of her chest by the end of Priya’s story. All this time she kept everything inside because she thought that there was not even a single person who could understand – and she found that person on the bloody Love Island.

“I told you this because I want you to know that I understand how you feel,” The older girl gently stroked a strand of hair out of Kisa’s face and carefully tucked it behind her ear. Her fingertips lingered on Kisa’s jaw, caressing the skin before she moved it to her shoulder. “Your feelings are as valuable as anyone else's. Don’t ever think that because someone has bigger shit going down, you have no right to complain, or feel bad.”

She felt her eyes welling up with tears, as Priya’s last words sunk into her brain, and Kisa had to bite hard on her lip not to cry.

“Come here,” The older girl’s embrace was warm and soft, and it brought Kisa the relief she needed.

Kisa’s phone beeped, and she pulled away to look at the screen.

“It’s time.”

Her heartbeat picked up the tempo with each step closer to the firepit. All girls took their seats on the bench, and boys lined up across from the firepit. Priya took the seat at the end of the bench, and Kisa sat between her and Lottie, who looked like she might throw up.

_I wonder what’s her deal. She didn’t gang up against me and Priya earlier today, she literally said nothing… Is it because she’s planning to pick Gary tonight?_

Hope’s phone beeped, and Priya rolled her eyes.

“One might think that the producers have their secrete agenda.”

Kisa looked at the boys in line, avoiding Lucas’ gaze. She ditched him right after their date, right after he stood up for her, without a word.

_So did Priya. She ditched Bobby and spent all this time with me. He must feel horrible now._

To her own surprise, she caught baker's eyes and smiled at him reassuringly. He gave her a weak smile and glanced at Priya again.

“…and I know that no one will ever come between us,” Kisa caught the end of Hope’s speech. “The boy I want to couple up with is Noah.”

“Gag,” Kisa whispered loudly.

“You’ve got something to say?” Hope scowled at her.

“I just did,” Kisa shrugged. “Sorry, hun, you’re just the person I’m vibing with the least.”

Priya and, surprisingly, Lottie chuckled. Before they could continue, Priya’s phone beeped. She rose to her feet slowly, as if unsure what to do or say. Her gaze traveled from one boy to another, but it was clear that she sees only one face.

“Today was a weird one,” She started slowly. “It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good, either. And today got me thinking about what I really want to get from being here,” Priya glanced at Kisa, and her lips curled into a small, private smile. “Someone told me that falling in love is like jumping off the cliff. And when you jump, you’ve got to make sure you didn’t forget a parachute – it might not break out, but it’s the risk you’ve got to take, otherwise, there’s no point…”

She trailed off, frowning, and Kisa reached for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Priya beamed at her and continued more confident.

“Despite all our differences, I want to couple up with this boy because he’s honest and caring, and he knows how to put a smile on my face. We’re not a perfect power couple,” She chuckled, glancing at Hope and Noah. “But when I see this boy, I forget all my doubts, and just trust.” Priya took a deep breath and finally fixed her gaze on Bobby. “Bobby.”

Kisa’s heart grew a size when she saw the way he looked at Priya at that moment, with so much adoration and relief, and determination…

She wolf-whistled at them, applauding enthusiastically, and all the boys and Lottie joined her.

“My heart was jumping out of my chest,” Bobby wrapped his arms around Priya’s waist. “I really thought I’ve messed it up.”

Looking at them made Kisa’s chest ache. _They’ll have to go through a lot but they’re so obviously good for each other, even though Bobby desperately needs to grow up._

Her phone beeped, and Kisa slowly got up from her seat. There was only one guy for her, and he knew it. She caught Lucas’ smoldering gaze, and for some reason, it gave her confidence. He could’ve sulk because she left him hanging, but instead, he was grinning, and his eyes were locked with hers, as if he had no doubt, she’ll pick him.

She preferred this smug, condescending side of him because this was the side she won’t fall for.

_It’s only for five weeks. Together, we have a shot at winning. And after that… whatever happens, happens. I can do it. I need to win this shit for the boys, and if it means spending the next month playing a happy perfect couple with him…_

“I don’t think my choice will surprise anyone,” She began, cringing eternally. “I’d like to couple up with this guy because no matter what, he’s got my back,” Surprised, Kisa stopped for a moment.

This was not what she was going to say. She was supposed to say something playful, or romantic, or at least, funny. She didn’t plan to let him know how much what he did meant to her – but it was too late to back down now.

“I’m not going to make big promises because we’ve known each other for just a few days.”

“Cough, Nope, cough,” Priya huffed under her breath, and Kisa grinned at her.

“Lucas.”

Without a word, he charged towards the girl, sweeping her off her feet in a movie-scene kiss, and others erupted into applause. Priya, Bobby, and all the guys cheered for them. Her breath stuttered, and it took all of her self-control to pull away a few seconds later.

“Glad I picked you then?” She smirked at Lucas as they took their seats, and Bobby high-fived both of them.

He grinned back and leaned closer to whisper: “Your doctor’s called. He asked to remind you about your appointment tonight.”

Kisa’s cheeks flushed red when his hot breath brushed her neck, and his hand snaked around her waist. His body was solid and strong, and his arm felt almost protective, as if he knew exactly what’s been going through her head.

Lottie’s phone beeped next. She looked uncertain, and Bobby sent her a reassuring smile before turning his attention back to Priya.

“I’d like to couple up with this guy because he’s strong and honest and I want to see where it this thing between us will go,” She took a deep breath before looking up at the boys. “I’d like to couple up with Gary.”

There was a scatter of applause and many raised eyebrows.

Marisol was the last one to choose, and Kisa felt Lucas’ hand tightening the grip of her waist. Priya reached for Kisa’s arm and gave it a firm squeeze.

Either Marisol wasn’t in the mood for more drama, or she was planning something bigger – but she just picked Rahim without sparing a glance at the older girl.

“Is that it?” Gary mused. “Are we done?”

Noah’s phone beeped.

“Islanders! The Hideaway is open. Pick one lucky couple to spend the night in a romantic setup.”

“It should be me and Noah, obviously,” Hope butted in. “We’re the only solid couple here.”

“Since you’re so solid,” Priya raised an eyebrow at her. “You don’t need this extra boost for your relationship.”

Kisa couldn’t contain a little smirk, watching Hope’s condescendence backfiring.

“She’s right, Hope,” Kisa supported. “Bobby and Priya should go. They deserve some time alone.”

Priya’s eyes widened.

“Agree,” Gary grinned.

“Yeah, same,” Lucas added unexpectedly.

Bobby’s face was bright red, but anyone could see a sparkle of excitement in his eyes, and Kisa couldn’t help a little smile forming at the corners of her mouth.

“What are you waiting for? Get in there,” She nudged baker on a shoulder.

“I wanted you to go there,” Priya whispered.

“I know,” Kisa whispered back. “Have a good night, you two.”

Followed by wolf whistles and friendly banter, Bobby and Priya went back inside.

_At least, they’ll have some time away from these vultures._

Everyone else went back inside, only she and Lucas hung back. They’ve shared a bed before but now everything felt different, more real. It was one thing to spend the night on a daybed, but going upstairs, and sleeping in a bed together in a room fool of people? Suddenly, Kisa was hyper-aware of how wrong Lucas was for her, and sharing bed as a couple seemed like a huge mistake.

“Before we join the others, I just wanted to say thank you. For picking me.”

Kisa raised an eyebrow at him.

“How are you going to show your gratitude?”

A huge smirk stretched across his mouth as Lucas leaned forward, weaving his arm around Kisa’s waist, and pulled her in, pressing their bodies together.

“How would you like me… to show my gratitude?”

Her mouth was suddenly dry and aching as his voice went low and deep, and his eyes burned into hers. She needed to stay in control, somehow, even if she wanted to give in so much.

“If I recall correctly, I’ve got an appointment at ten o’clock tonight,” She managed a light smirk, meeting his dark eyes. “I don’t feel like walking there. A really grateful person would carry the girl to her doctor.”

Lucas watched her with his eyes widened in amusement.

“You’re a very demanding client.”

Suddenly, both of his hands gripped at the girl’s ass, hoisting her up, making her wrap her legs around his hips, and Kisa had to coil her arms around his neck to keep her balance.

She didn’t think he’ll actually do it, let alone, do it like _this_.

Their faces were so close she could count his eyelashes, and his body heat was burning at her skin. His scent filled up her nose, cedarwood and patchouli, making her dizzy. Their gazes met, and she almost lost herself in the fire dancing in his almost black eyes.

He studied her face as if looking for an answer to a question he’d never asked.

Her insides turned into liquid fire, burning her from withing. She couldn’t tell if there was a time in her life when she wanted someone more than she wanted this man right now. Her body screamed with need, each nerve naked and yearning, desperate for relief.

She shifted just a little, and her eyes went wide and dark as she felt how hard he was.

For a second, he lost his poise, and let her glimpse behind his usual haughty mask. His eyes were smoldering with desire, matching her own desperation for him.

_You can’t do it. You can’t do it with him, you won’t survive it. You won’t survive when he dumps you when the show is over. You can’t do it or you’ll fucking die of pain when he’s done with you._

She had to stop this, she had to tell him to put her back to her feet and never touch her like that ever again. With whatever semblance of self-control that she still held, Kisa opened her mouth to speak.

Instead, her lips crashed against Lucas’ mouth in a deep, messy kiss. His mouth tasted like champagne and lemon when she sucked on his tongue before brushing her own across the inner side of his upper lip. His fingers dug deeper into the sheer fabric of her romper, and a quiet moan escaped his mouth, going straight into her core.

Kisa raked her fingers across his shoulders and down his back, and Lucas shivered beneath her touch, forgetting how to breathe for a moment as her tongue explored his mouth.

Her kisses were deep and demanding and dominant.

It was the only way for her to go, he figured. He didn’t know why and didn’t frankly care right now, however she likes it, he likes it, too.

He wanted her so badly his cock twitched every time she shifted her body slightly, every time her nails scratched hard against his skin as she slipped her hands under his already half-open shirt.

Lucas cracked his eyes open as her kisses moved down his jawline. They were literally in the middle of the lawn, and he carried her carefully towards the daybeds, as his arms started to tremble. He almost tripped over his feet when she suddenly sucked the skin at the base of his neck into her mouth and then bit down.

He lowered both of them onto the daybed, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down Kisa’s neck.

Her legs were still wrapped around him, ankles crossed, and he ground absentmindedly against her, as her fingers unbuttoned his shirt. His mouth traveled down from her neck, peppering kisses down her chest, and between her breasts, as his hands roamed her body, searching for buttons or zip fly or whatever else to just strip her off her clothes.

He’d forgotten that they were outside, and that anyone could’ve walked out of the Villa any moment, and that the cameras around them haven’t gone blind yet.

He groaned when she bucked her hips up against him, matching his rhythm.

“Fuck,” He breathed, grabbing both of her wrists with one hand, holding them above her head, stretching her body in a bow.

She didn’t stop him, enjoying this feeling of being under someone else’s control for a few long moments before flipping their positions effortlessly.

“How did you even…” Lucas choked on his words when Kisa’s hips rolled roughly against his, drawing a deep, throaty groan out of him.

In two swift motions, he yanked off their mics, throwing them over another daybed.

Her eyes went a few shades darker, and now were the color of Irish moss, and for a second, he’d lost himself in their depth. Under the cold moonlight, her skin seemed snow-white, almost unreal, like she was one of those porcelain dolls his gran collected. 

Before coming here, he googled her music band, and even though he wasn’t going to admit it, he was really, really impressed. She was so much more than her bad bitch façade, he suspected it before, and he knew it for sure after listening to some of the songs she wrote.

When he came in, she was the one he wanted to get to know because he knew she’s going to be a challenge, and he really loved a good hunt. Even now, with her on top of him, he was still chasing after her, trying to catch her hands roaming his body, and her lips, fluttering between his neck and jawline, and her heartbeat, that he was trying to feel through the layer of fabric between them.

His fingers finally found a hidden zipper on the left side, and he tugged on it. Kisa’s body tensed a little, and Lucas looked at her with his half-lidded blazing eyes.

“What?” He asked in between ragged breaths. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” She shrugged, but it was too unconvincing. 

Slowly, realization dawned on Lucas, and he sat up, his hands still gripping at her waist.

“You’re not comfortable going further, are you?”

Her teeth grazed her lower lip, as her eyes studied him carefully. It seemed pretty weird, to back off now when they were both panting and still very much turned on.

_It’s just sex, for fuck’s sake. You won’t fall in love with him just because you fucked._

Lucas could see the inner dialogue written all over the girl’s face. He knew she isn’t like people imagine her to be, but he couldn’t imagine that underneath all those sarcastic remarks and bitchy attitude, there’s this little scared girl who’s just trying to protect her heart.

Cringing at himself, he asked:

“Do you want to keep it above the clothes?”

Their eyes met, and whatever he saw in hers freaked him out. He wasn’t prepared to feel like this - like his heart is was swelling inside of his ribcage trying to break free.

The mood has changed immediately, the urgency and lust fade to awkward vulnerability, neither of them was prepared for.

“No,” She said finally. “I don’t _want_ to…”

Her eyes flickered to his from beneath her lowered lashes, and a jolt of electricity ran up his spine.

She was almost willing to step over her own ‘no casual’ rule, for him, and he saw it in those two green voids her eyes were. And he knew that it wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair, at least, until they’re both on the same page.

He needed to sort his head out before messing with hers… He didn’t mean to get under her skin, he just assumed she’d be down for some fun time, but he couldn’t even think that she’ll make him contemplate his own ‘no-relationships’ rule. At least, just this much.

Kisa bit her lip before looking into his eyes once again.

“I get it if you’re not okay with this,” She gestured to the space between them.

“With what?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “With a girl telling me ‘no’? You really think I’m that much of a prick?”

She didn’t know how to respond to that. Her feelings were all over the place, her thoughts scattered everywhere like scared little birds. How could one person have two completely different sides?

“Look,” Lucas gave up waiting for her to reply. Now, they weren’t wearing mics and could talk freely. “I get that you don’t want to get serious with someone who might not get serious about you. I respect that. But it doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying to turn your head,” He suddenly smirked and leaned over to start kissing the girl’s neck.

His mouth moved slowly down her neck and across her throat, pressing soft, lingering kisses to her skin. His hands ran up her arms, making little hairs bristle. He moved his lips to her ear and nibbled on her lobe teasingly before whispering:

“Unless you tell me to stop.”

His tongue ran up the shell of her ear.

“And when – if – you do,” His fingers tangled in her hair, pulling slightly to make her tilt her head back so he could get more access to the girl’s neck. “You’ll have to really mean it.”

His voice was quiet and alluring and viscous like melted chocolate.

“I believe, it might be the time for your appointment,” He traced a path of kisses across her collarbone, alternating kisses with little bites and flickers of his tongue. His free hand was gently kneading the muscles of Kisa’s back. “I’ll keep it professional,” He added softly.

She was still sitting atop of him, very much aware of how hard he was. Her own body was aching for him, too, ready to screw all her stupid rules and self-restricting.

“I’ve no doubt you’re very… professional, Dr. Koh.”

Slowly, her hand found a zip fly and she pulled it down, unzipping the romper. His eyes widened a little as he took her in. She pulled the bodice down, revealing her perfect breasts, and he couldn’t stop staring at her face, not letting his eyes move down.

“Still professional?”

He swallowed hard and nodded, gathering her in his arms to lay her down on the bed. She rolled over to her front, resting her head against her crossed arms.

He straddled her hips, unable to fight back the urge to press himself into her for a second before his hands started moving up her back, slowly at first. His fingers caressed her bare skin, and all he could think of was how much he wanted to run his tongue up her spine. He imagined her skin to taste like a breath mint, cool, and a little sweet.

Kisa’s breath stuttered when his fingertips brushed her sides, and her skin prickled with goosebumps. He pushed her hair aside, and his thumbs pressed firmly into the sides of her neck, drawing a muffled moan out of her mouth.

His hands felt like heaven, strong, caring, and also just a little exploring. Not too much, but enough for her core to pulse each time they accidentally brushed the sides of her breasts or made their way to her hipbones, making her hips thrust up to meet his.

“You hold a lot of tension,” Lucas’ voice sent trembles down her spine. His fingers pressed deliciously hard into the junctions between her neck and shoulders, kneading her like a dough. “You’re in your head too much.”

He bent over to follow his hands with his lips, making Kisa shudder beneath him.

“Is that… professional?” She barely managed to ask in between moans of pleasure mixed with pain, as his thumbs dug even deeper into her back.

“Do you mind it?”

She could swear she felt the taste of dark chocolate on her tongue when his voice reached something deep inside of her. She didn’t reply, burying her face deeper into her crossed arms. There was a thought on the back of her mind that he must possess a lot of self-control when he leaned closer to trace a path of kisses down her spine, and his cock brushed against her back, still rock hard.

His body was screaming in agony as he continued with that half-massage half-foreplay.

_Is it foreplay if nothing follows after?_

Kisa’s hips bucked up when his hands started kneading the sides of her waist, and he almost choked on air, using what was left of his self-control not to grind against her.

He knew he could easily flip that switch inside of her and make her _beg_ to fuck her, but that’d only proved her point and he wasn’t going to let her be right. He promised he won’t push her, and he was going to keep that promise, at least, to prove her that he’s not a complete jerk she thinks he is.

But it was just so hard to hold back when she moaned liked that, and her body arched under his hands, and her breath was ragged and heavy, and her hair would feel so good wrapped around his fist… His left hand slowly made its way up Kisa’s body, melting away even more tension, until it slid through the strand of her hair, twisting it until it was wrapped around his palm and clenched in his fist.

He was walking on very thin ice, just one misstep – and he’ll fall into the cold waters.

He pressed his free hand into the mattress, bending over above her, and pulled slightly on the girl’s hair. He had no idea what he was doing, his mind a complete mess of sensations and scattered thoughts. Without hesitation, Kisa pushed up on her hands, pressing her back into the taut muscles of his chest and stomach, and her ass into his aching dick.

Dark-haired man almost whined at her sudden closeness, after all this time of barely touching her this feeling of her bare skin on his own was overwhelming, and it nearly knocked him off his feet.

This feeling of him pressed into her exploded in girl’s head with a thousand of pretty lights. This wasn’t ‘professional’ at all, and she shouldn’t have encouraged him, shit, she should’ve stopped him, but she couldn’t. There was a dark part of her that wanted to see how far he could go if she doesn’t stop him, and Kisa knew that this part will make her burn, but she didn’t care.

“Fuck,” Lucas growled into the back of her neck before sucking the skin on her pulse point into his mouth and biting down, so hard, her vision went white from pain, and her hips pressed into his crotch harder than before.

It was madness, the way he made her feel.

Like she already jumped off that fucking cliff and didn’t care that she had no parachute, no safety net, no nothing.

She threw her head back onto his shoulder, pushing both of them up until they were standing on their knees. A cool breeze brushed against her naked breasts, making her hard nipples go even harder, almost painful now.

In a haze of pain and lust, she reached for his hand and pressed it against her breast, and he moaned into her ear, catching the sensitive bud of her nipple between his fingers.

“Shit, what are you doing…”

She cut him off, craning her neck to capture his mouth with her lips in a deep, urgent kiss that felt like a fight. The moment their tongues met, both of them almost cried, it was too much but not nearly enough. Lucas released her hair moving his hand to press it against Kisa’s throat, fingers caressing her jawline. His other hand roamed her stomach and breasts, trying to touch her everywhere.

His mind was yelling at him to stop because this wasn’t something she’d go for if he didn’t put her on edge.

She was fucking right, he was a prick. He wanted her, from the moment he saw her, and right now, he didn’t care that he’s doing exactly what he asked him not to do – he was making her jump without a parachute.

He couldn’t promise her anything, he wasn’t even sure if he actually _had_ anything to offer. She didn’t want to be a notch on his bedpost, and he didn’t know if he wanted anyone to be something more than that.

He was a fucking train wrecked, so much out of control it almost scared him. He knew what ‘no’ means – so why he can’t just stop before it’s too late? 

Kisa pushed her fingers into his hair, and Lucas growled into her mouth when she pulled roughly. His head lolled back, and she used it to press a hot open-mouth kiss to his throat before sinking her teeth into it, drawing a desperate whine out of this always well-poised man.

His fingers played with her nipple, sending shudders of pleasure all through her body, and there was no way she could stop now. Again, she grabbed his hand and guided it down her body, until his fingers slipped between her skin and the fabric of her romper. Behind her, he froze, his blazing with lust eyes pierced into her.

“We shouldn’t,” He winced as these words caused him physical pain. “I shouldn’t…”

He didn’t know how he managed to even speak, the moment she pushed his hand under her clothes his mind was gone.

“You can’t deny… patient… a treatment…” She murmured into his ear, panting and tripping over her words before pushing his hand further until it was flat over her.

She was so hot she almost burned his fingers with her heat. He slid his fingers between her folds, gasping, she was dripping with her desire for him, and it made his cock throb.

He knew it was all sorts of wrong, doing this after she told him she can’t just have fun with him without getting attached, but she looked at him with so much desperation, so much need… She looked like she will fall apart if he stops.

It didn’t have to be about him, his mind raced as his fingers started working her slowly. If he just takes care of her, it won’t be that bad, right?

Two of his fingers slipped inside of her, and she almost cried, and Lucas used his other hand to cover her mouth, so she doesn’t wake up the entire Villa. He turned her face to his, and his mouth covered hers instead of his palm, muffling her whines and moans as his hand moved faster, pumping her.

Her hips moved hastily, chasing relief, rubbing hard against his crotch, and he felt like he might come just from this friction, like a fucking schoolboy.

“Please, please…please,” She begged, moving erratically. “Harder, please…”

Her raspy whisper hit him harm, sending into the overdrive. His wrist was aching but he moved his hand even faster, feeling her walls as they start clenching and pulsing around his fingers, and his other hand took a hold of her neck, palm pressed hard against her throat.

This was insanity.

He couldn’t remember last time he was with someone who needed him so desperately, and this knowledge that she will die if he doesn’t bring her the relief she needs was enough to throw him over the edge along with the thrust of her hips when she finally came undone.

It was too strong, too much, they grasped at each other not to fall apart. Lucas wasn’t sure that he worked her properly through her orgasm, as his own knocked the ground from beneath him, leaving him breathless and down for the count.

It felt like her entire world shuttered and then snapped back together perfectly.

Still caught in the aftershocks, his fingers still inside of her, Kisa reached for his face to look into Lucas’ eyes. He could barely see or register whatever was going on around, too blissed-out to think about anything.

“Just so you know,” She whispered heavily into space between them. “I’m taking you up on your twelve-sessions offer.”


	11. Three’s a Crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kisa is singing Muse - Unintended (search for Julia Westlin's cover on youtube, it's beautiful)  
> Priya and Kisa - All the Things She Said - t.A.T.u.

Kisa was waking up heavily, almost fighting her way through sleep. She groaned quietly and cracked one eye open, not even sure where she was.

It was still before the dawn, the sky only started lightening up, and she could barely make out space around her. Lucas was fast asleep, his face nuzzled into the pillow and his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. Both of them were barely covered with a blanket – the last thing they’ve managed to do before drifting into sleep.

Carefully, she unwrapped herself from Lucas’ arm and pulled up the bodice of her romper.

She really fucked up last night.

With her head pounding and her heart thumping, she made her way into the Villa, to take a shower and wash off the memories of the night before.

She did everything wrong. From the second she saw Lucas she knew that she should’ve stayed as far away from him as it was physically possible. She knew that if she lets him get any closer to her, she’d be a goner – she knew he was wrong for her, and she still let those guards down, just enough for him to get into her head.

It took him three days to battle through her defenses, and she was terrified by the effect he had on her. With him, she was losing control, willingly.

Looking back, she knew that she’s been lying to herself from the very beginning. First, she declined Noah’s advances, explaining it to herself with an unwillingness to go through drama with Hope. She voted Henrik out to save Lucas, for fuck’s sake, she knew exactly why she was doing it. She wanted to keep him, not just because she didn’t like Henrik and didn’t think she could win this stupid thing with him, – she just wanted to keep that smug physiotherapist because she just _wanted him_. Plain and simple.

The way he stuck up for her, and how he declared his interest in front of everyone, and how he was both so arrogant and so willing to let go of control all at once… It made her head spin. It threw her for a loop, his two sides were complete opposites, and fuck, it made her want him even more.

Even the fact that he made her lose control last night didn’t turn her back to him, if anything, now, she was willing to give in completely, being fully aware that he doesn’t want her back. At least, he doesn’t want her enough.

He was honest about his intentions, from the start, and even last night, when he said that he respects her need to protect her heart… he also said he had no problem breaking it.

_And he showed it, too._

Standing under the cold streams of water, Kisa couldn’t stop thinking about the way the dark-haired man kissed her last night, the way his touches burned at her skin, the way his body felt pressed into hers… Something inside of her started waking up, and she barely managed to stop her hand from sliding down her body, repeating the path of Lucas’ hand.

She bit down on her lower lip, hoping that the pain will keep her mind busy.

He offered her to stop.

But before, he pushed her to the point of no return. He pushed her so far, she’d forgotten everything she knew, and just jumped. And right now, she was falling. And she needed it to stop. She had to stop this madness before it got too late.

But she couldn’t.

The only thing she could do was to make sure that he never finds out how much power he had over her.

_He wanted a hunt? He’ll get one to remember._

Kisa covered herself with a bath towel and quietly made her way to the girls’ dressing room. It wasn’t even seven in the morning, and no one else was awake. She slipped into a blood-red one-piece with a deep cutout going all the way to her belly button, leaving the space between her breasts and the middle part of her stomach exposed. She straightened her hair leaving the ends softly curled, just to keep that natural look and grabbed her guitar.

She needed this moment to herself, just her and her music, and nothing else.

Kisa walked up the stairs and pushed the roof terrace door open. She almost yelped in horror when her gaze bumped into Bobby.

“Fuck, Bobby,” She plopped down next to him, her breath still uneven. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“That’s because you creep around too much,” He smirked, glancing at the guitar in her hands. “Oh, were you going to play?”

She nodded, and Bobby beamed.

“I loved it when you played last time. You’ve got a beautiful voice.”

“Tell me something new,” They both chuckled. “Why are _you_ creeping around then?”

Bobby shrugged, staring off into space for a moment.

“Just couldn’t sleep.”

He grabbed her phone from the seat suddenly.

“Hey, how about I film you singing, and you’ll send it to the producers so they could post it on socials? I’m sure they use the camera footage and stuff, but it’d feel more… real, I guess? Still better than those stupid challenge selfies.”

Kisa sniggered.

“Too right,” She nodded. “Though I don’t think they really care about me singing sad shit first thing in the morning.”

“You know,” Bobby said slowly, carefully almost. “I think this is exactly what the audience might like. You’re… erm, well, this would show a different side of you. You know, not the spikey one,” He winked at her, but it couldn’t trick her.

Pastry chef didn’t look like his usual cheerful self even though he tried hard to keep her entertained enough, so she doesn’t notice. Kisa had noticed: Seth was just exactly the same when he didn’t want people to see he wasn’t alright. She sighed and slowly brushed her fingers across the guitar strings.

 _“…You could be my unintended_ _  
Choice to live my life extended  
You could be the one I'll always love…”_

Her voice was still a bit raspy and broken, and her hands were shaking slightly as she started singing. This was one of her favorite songs since she was a teenager. She always felt too much, too strong, too fast. She never knew the middle ground, if she felt something, she felt it full-on.

She went all in, and every single time, she ended up being left empty. Sometimes, she wondered if there was anything left inside of her to give, and how much more emptiness she could take until she couldn’t take it anymore?

 _“…First, there was the one who challenged_ _  
All my dreams and all my balance  
She could never be as good as you…”_

She knew how to captivate the attention: Bobby found himself barely breathing as the soft guitar riffs and Kisa’s voice filled the air around them, gentle and sad. Her voice broke here and there, and his heart fluttered inside his ribcage every time it happened. It was almost impossible that this Siren and the girl with snarky remarks and snappy attitude is the same person.

He loved this song ever since he’d heard it many years ago when he was going through his first heartbreak. He was just a kid back then, barely fifteen, and it felt like his entire world had fallen apart when the girl he was in love with told him she doesn’t see him that way anymore. And ever since then, he knew nothing but this fucking heartbreak, and so he just figured it’d be easier not to fall for anyone at all.

His mates pushed him to apply just for fun, and so he did: he could use a free vacation. And he had no idea that on the first day he’ll meet Priya and she’ll turn his head completely.

The only problem was that they were barely compatible, she needed someone he was not, and he… he didn’t know what he needed.

 _“_ _I'll be there as soon as I can  
But I'm busy mending broken  
Pieces of the life I had before_

_Before you…”_

Maybe, it just wasn’t the right time for her to find love? Maybe, she just had to wait some more? Maybe, it’s just not destined for her, to find love after all?

Maybe, he’s just not made for being happy, for being someone that somebody needs? Maybe, being needed is just not something he’s meant for?

The last guitar riffs hung in the air, trembling and ringing softly, as it slowly disappeared, leaving the two of them in silence. Kisa barely knew Bobby, but he reminded her so much of her best friend that part of her affections for Seth somehow just passed on to him, and she wanted him to keep his happiness. Priya was good for this silly baker, _she’ll make him better, if only he keeps her._

There was still time for him to change his life, to find and keep love.

But for her… all she could see was emptiness, inside of her, and around. Everywhere. She tried to fill it with music, and men, and liquor, but nothing could fill that void her heart was, not after Alex. And she’s been desperately trying to pick herself up piece by piece, because there was this part of her, just a tiny part, that never lost the hope that one day she won’t be broken anymore.

Kisa shook her head, shrugging off the melancholy: it didn’t matter what she wanted or who she wanted, she still had a bet and half a million to win.

Bobby drifted out of his haze, too, and looked at the phone in his hand and stopped recording.

“This used to be one of my favorite songs,” He noted, handing the girl her phone. “I sang it more times than I could count.”

“How come we’ve never heard you singing?” Kisa wondered. “You used to be a vocalist in a pop-punk band, and you never sing, even when there’s a party and everyone sings along.”

“That’s not a very funny story,” Bobby winced. “I just… I can’t sing anymore. My vocal cords got broken a few years back and it… it didn’t heal properly.”

She knew only a few reasons why that might’ve happened, and most of them wouldn’t bring up a reaction like that… Kisa’s glance warmed up a bit as she reached for Bobby’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“If you ever feel like telling that story, I’m here.”

She couldn’t imagine her life without music. If she’d lost her voice, it would’ve felt like losing herself. Her music is what helped her through everything bad and awful, it was her coping mechanism and her safe space… And she felt terribly sorry for Bobby.

“Thanks,” He smiled at her shyly before shaking it off and pulling his usual playful smirk back on. “Right, it’s time to seize the day. I’ll see you downstairs.”

He was right, it was the time for her to flip that switch, too, and turn into the bad bitch they all hated.

***

 **Kisa, you’ve coupled up with Lucas last** **night. How do you feel?**

As the first question popped up on the screen, Kisa let out a little sigh. Thankfully, by the time she and Lucas lost their ‘professionalism’, outside cameras already went blind, so it was unlikely anyone saw her sexcapades.

“It’s still early days but…” She took a deep breath: if she wants to win this, she has to give the audience something to like her for. “But I really like him.”

**There was an argument between you and the other girls yesterday. What was that about?**

“Apparently, Marisol wanted to pick Lucas for her date, but I beat her to punch, and she got pissed and picked Bobby, disrupting Priya’s couple. And Priya picked Noah, and Hope lost her mind. At the end of the day, they’ve decided to blame me,” She rolled her eyes.

**You and Bobby have been getting closer these past few days, ever since you helped him with Mr. Love Island. Do you think there might be a spark between the two of you?**

Kisa chuckled.

“Bobby’s a mate. We were coupled for, like, a day, and we both knew even back then that it’s just a friendship couple. He and Priya are great together.”

**Who’s your best friend in the Villa?**

“Priya, absolutely. She’s the only girl I trust, not just here but in general. I hope we’ll carry this friendship on the outside, too.”

**Do you think you and Lucas will last? You had a rough start when he arrived and now your couple seems to be under pressure because one of the girls wanted to couple with him, too.**

_And, we’re back at it._

“I don’t know. We’ve been coupled for just one night, and yes, when Lucas and Henrik just got here, I wasn’t friendly with Lucas… but I saved him from double dumping, so I guess, I always liked him.”

These words rolled off her tongue slowly, almost unwillingly. Being honest with a million people watching this show wasn’t exactly her cup of tea, not to mention, that four weeks from now he’ll dump her, and the entire country will laugh at her naivete. But if that what it takes to win… so be it.

The screen faded out finally, and Kisa sighed with relief. She was hungry and a little on edge: now, she couldn’t keep stalling anymore, she had to face Lucas. She’s been avoiding him the entire morning, but it wasn’t an option anymore, it was time to lie in the bed she’d made for herself. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and sauntered out of the Villa, scanning the perimeter.

Lucas, Bobby, and Gary were in the kitchen, and it looked like Bobby was giving a master class on making a sandwich.

“I had no doubt these two are absolute lost cases,” Kisa grinned, joining them. She pushed herself up the kitchen island.

Lucas spun on his heel.

“Morning,” There was uncertainty in his voice and eyes as if he wasn’t sure how to act now. She had no idea, either, but she was always a good actress.

“Morning,” She replied nonchalantly, pointing at the sandwich next to him. “That looks monstrous.”

“That’s exactly what I said,” Bobby looked heavily disappointed. “These two have no basic survival skills.”

“Oi,” Gary frowned. “It’s just this knife super weird.”

“Yeah, and also, who buys just this chunk of ham? Like, they can slice it for you, so why?” Lucas agreed, his eyes still glued to Kisa.

“See, what I’m working with?” Bobby theatrically threw his hands in the air. “You must be hungry,” He suddenly changed the topic. “We could do a little competition, these two will make sandwiches for you and you’ll judge whose was the worst.”

As the boys got back to work, Kisa’s gaze slowly traveled to Lucas. He was great at keeping his face straight, and there was no way of telling how he feels after the last night. When she just got to the kitchen, she caught him by surprise and he let this mask slip for a second, but now he was back to his usual cocksure self.

“I’ve no doubt, Kisa’s going to love my sandwich,” Lucas flopped a huge chunk of ham and cheese on the bread.

“Is that what you kids call it these days?” Gary grinned, earning a slap on a shoulder from Kisa as she bent over.

Bobby giggled and put a steamy mug next to the girl.

“Thanks, Bobs,” She smiled at him. “Where’s Priya?”

“She’s working out,” Bobby didn’t look much amused. “Do you think I should start?”

“Yes,” Gary butted in.

“Clam up wasn’t talking to you,” Bobby tutted at the blond.

Kisa leaned forward so the other boys couldn’t hear them. Bobby looked a bit rattled, just like when she bumped into him at the roof terrace earlier this morning.

“Is something not right?” She asked quietly.

Bobby shook his head, glancing towards the gym involuntarily. Kisa’s heart sunk a bit: after how he tried to cheer her up this morning, she felt the need to do the same for him. She glanced at Lucas and Gary’s handiwork.

“I like Gary’s better, he wins.”

With these words, she jumped off the countertop and made her way to Lucas with a half-smile playing at the corners of her mouth. She looked up at him from beneath the lowered lashes.

“You’re way more talented at… physiotherapisizing people than making sandwiches. Stick to that.”

She grabbed a plate from Lucas’s hands and sashayed towards the gym, followed by three pairs of eyes. She stopped the moment she saw them: Priya and Noah, working out, together. Alone.

_No wonder Bobby looked like a lost puppy._

They were just working out, nothing more, they weren’t even talking, but it still felt weirdly… cozy? No music, no chat, just this comfortable silence.

_Why am I so invested in someone else’s drama while I have a massive drama of my own?_

Kisa rolled her eyes at her own thoughts and loudly cleared her throat.

“Hey, you two.”

Noah almost dropped the barbells, and Priya stopped her sit-ups.

“Oh, hey, Kisa,” Noah blushed furiously. “Are you planning to eat that?” His lips twisted in distaste.

“Lucas made this for me,” She took a bite, screaming internally. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

_It’s horrible._

“I was actually looking for Priya,” She narrowed her eyes.

“I’ll leave you two then,” Noah smiled wryly, his eyes avoiding the older girl.

Kisa walked up to Priya and flopped down next to her, taking another bite. She needed a second to think about what she was going to say.

“I know what you’re thinking,” The other girl said suddenly. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“If you knew how it looked like…” Kisa shook her head: she didn’t come here to attack her best friend in the Villa. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Priya sat up straighter, grabbing a sandwich from Kisa’s hand. She took a large bite, stalling the time as she chewed slowly. It was obvious her head was all over the place, but she just didn’t know how to start. Kisa sighed: it was the time to do for Priya what she did for her.

“I slept with Lucas last night,” She said quietly, and Priya’s big eyes widened even more. “Well, not like slept-slept, but… pretty close. I really don’t know what I feel right now, and I’ve been avoiding him the entire morning.”

Kisa looked down at her nails.

“Me and Bobby had a huge fight last night,” Priya confessed quietly. “When we went to the Hideaway. I don’t even know how it started. We got there, and there were those rose petals all over the bed, and champagne, and this little speaker… We listened to music, and everything was lovely, and we… yeah, so, we were kissing and pretty much I knew we were going to have sex… and suddenly, we were already arguing. I’ve no idea who started it, but it ended with me storming off.”

Priya’s eyes filled with unshed tears and she rubbed them furiously.

“I was going to crash on the sofa, but Bobby found me and kind of talked me down, and we went back to the Hideaway. When I woke up this morning, he wasn’t there, and when I asked him where he’d been, he just said he couldn’t sleep and went to catch some air.”

Kisa frowned a little: she caught Bobby at the roof terrace at the sunrise and he looked like he’d spent there some time. And he didn’t tell Priya that he was with her, Kisa, in the morning… why?

“Why’d you argued?”

“Everything… nothing… Mostly, it was about him being a friend to everyone but me. I got really salty over that scene with Hope and Marisol. And he thought that I’m being jealous or whatever, and it really threw me off. I’m not jealous, for fuck’s sake, I saw those girls, of course, he doesn’t want them… It really pissed me off that he thinks I’m just this possessive bitch who doesn’t want him to spend time with other girls because of her insecurities, and it’s not me.”

_Now, it makes sense that he didn’t tell her about our little rendezvous._

Kisa pushed the plate out of her way and hugged the older girl. Priya’s heart was pounding heavily against the younger girl’s chest, and Kisa tightened her embrace.

“I didn’t mean to spend time with Noah,” Priya sighed into her shoulder. “But I needed to escape the drama and went here, and a couple of minutes later Noah appeared. It was just an accident, but Bobby came here to talk to me, and he saw Noah and… well, he didn’t say anything, and just left.”

_Sounds about right._

“Can I ask you something?” Kisa waited until Priya nodded, nuzzling deeper into her neck, and continued: “Would you… consider picking someone else? Not Bobby.”

Priya looked up at her, brown eyes full of tears and confusion, and her breath stuttered as she saw the evergreen colored eyes looking back at her, with so much care she wouldn’t expect from a hot-headed girl she’d known for just about a week.

“I-I don’t… know,” She breathed out finally. “I feel like I’m… I can fall for Bobby, for the guy who puts a smile on my face when I feel sad, and who sees me the way no one else does… like I’m more than these fake boobs and sexy clothes… But I can’t fall for someone who doesn’t have my back, who doesn’t understand why I’m upset… Fuck, Kisa,” She clenched her fist and pulled on the grass. “Yesterday, I told you to give it a shot with Lucas, to jump without that fucking parachute… I had no idea that was what I’ve been doing all this time.”

Kisa stroked a strand of hair out of the older girl’s face. Priya was like a better version of her own self, less guarded, goofier, equally hurt but more willing to let go of it. She admired her, truly, and wished she could’ve done more than just sit there, hugging her shoulders.

“Look,” She said calmly. “If you need to take a step back and think about it, it’s totally fine. I’m with you, all the way. And if you decide you and Bobby aren’t meant, I’ll support you,” Kisa’s chest ached at these words as she imagined baker’s hurt face. “But don’t do anything you might regret later, okay? If you need to break things with Bobby up, do it, but… be open about it, okay? For both your and his sake.”

Priya sniffed into her neck, nodding.

Kisa had no idea where all these sudden feelings were coming from. As if she’s been holding her breath for so long that now she couldn’t stop breathing, scared of that air deprivation - that’s how she felt about this friendship.

“Tell me about what happened with Lucas,” Priya asked. “Please. I feel horrible for dumping all this shit on you while you’re going through something of your own.”

“I don’t know how I feel,” Kisa admitted quietly. “It’s like my brain still hadn’t processed it yet. But you know what’s the worst part? I regret nothing. I mean, I know that I shouldn’t have done that but… I’d do it again.”

“Will you?” Priya asked softly, caressing Kisa’s cheekbone with her thumb.

She didn’t know.

_Lie._

She knew all too well that she’ll do it again, and again, and again until she’s too far gone to be saved.

Before they could continue, Lucas approached them.

“Hey,” He nodded at both of them. “Rahim’s got a text, we’re having a party tonight.”

Priya’s face lightened up a little.

“I could do with a party.”

She got up to her feet and smiled gratefully at the younger girl.

“I’m gonna find Bobby… thanks for everything, Kisa.”

“He’s doing laps… well, sort of,” Lucas reported taking her place next to Kisa. “What were you talking about?” He wondered when Priya wandered off.

“Oh, you know, just stuff,” Kisa grinned. “Mostly about how it’d made so much sense if me and Priya just coupled up.”

She watched Lucas’ face barely holding back laughter.

“Really?” He asked, dumbfounded.

“Aww, is someone jealous?” She raised an eyebrow at him, and Lucas rolled his eyes.

She wasn’t expecting that it’d be so easy, to keep bantering him after last night, like it meant nothing. She still didn’t like him in the slightest, that hasn’t changed. She still found him an arrogant, self-centered prick with a horrible addiction to flashy jewelry and overly expensive swimwear.

“Is there a ‘douchelord’s heaven’ jewelry store in Oxford I’m not aware of?” Kisa glanced at his bracelet: seashells on a leather strap.

Lucas followed her glance and laughed, somehow amused.

“Maybe there is,” His smoldering eyes burned into Kisa’s. “I might even take you there if you ask nicely.”

Her heart stuttered for a second. She willed herself to shake it off: she’d heard it wrong. He didn’t mean it seriously, it’s just banter.

“Fine, but remind me to bring my douchelords repellent.”

“Did you bring it here?” He chuckled.

“No, and we all can see the consequences,” She pointed to the space between them, smirking.

She couldn’t crack him, and it was annoyingly amusing. Usually, it took her a few minutes to read a guy – she got really good at that thanks to Alex. After all the crap he’d put her through, she at least learned to see through the mask.

But Lucas… he didn’t have a mask, just these two completely different sides, that were both him. He had no problem handing control over to her when she needed it, and he could take a fucking joke, even when her jokes were borderline rude. He was really as self-assured as he seemed like there was no tragic story behind his façade, and she almost wished there was… She needed to see his weakness, just so she didn’t feel so ashamed of her own.

A sudden noise made them both jerk in surprise: someone was having a very heated argument. Lucas and Kisa exchanged glances.

“I think it’s Hope,” Kisa frowned. “I swear to god, she winds me up like no other.”

“Well, I take that as a personal offense,” Lucas pouted. “I thought _I_ wind you up like no other.”

She caught his smirk and rolled her eyes.

“She’s a close second.”

Lucas pumped his fists in the air.

“Aye, still got it!”

“Aye?”

“I’ve been hanging out with Bobby a lot, don’t judge,” He shrugged. “Might as well impress you with my Scottish sometime soon.”

“Even Bobby can’t impress me with his Scottish,” Kisa got up to her feet as the sounds became louder. “C’mon, let’s see what the fuck is going on.”

***

Most of the day Kisa’s spent avoiding Noah and Hope. From what she’d managed to gather, Hope pulled a string out of one of her ugly hoodies, and Noah didn’t shed a tear about that. Word after word, they ended up in a massive row, occasionally dragging someone else into their argument.

By the time the Ministry of Sound party approached, everyone was fed up with the couple, even Marisol kept her distance from her bestie. Lottie looked like she might cry any moment now, and Kisa wondered to herself what might have happened to make Villa’s resident witch look like a sad five-year-old.

Kisa dragged her gaze from Lottie to Priya: her friend didn’t look much better than this morning.

Out of all the girls, Kisa was the only one who was actually doing alright. Surprisingly, she wasn’t desperately clinging to Lucas or crying her eyes out, nothing even close. She was kind of excited about the party, she could do with some booze and dancing.

A knock on the door sounded too loud in complete silence.

“All decent?” Bobby’s head peeked in the doorway. “Can I talk to you?” He asked Priya, who was just sitting before the mirror staring at her own reflection for the last few minutes.

“Yeah, just give me a minute.”

Bobby’s head disappeared, and Priya grabbed one of her dresses and went behind the screen to get changed. Exactly one minute later, she brushed Kisa’s shoulder on her way out.

“I’ll see you in a bit.”

The silence resumed. Lottie’s hand slipped and she smudged her eyeliner.

“Shit,” Blonde goth scowled. “Could someone help me, please?”

Kisa could feel her eyes rolling back into her head as she walked over to Lottie and sat next to her when no one else even responded.

“Oh… thanks,” Lottie was clearly surprised.

“Don’t mention.”

Her mind wandered as she was fixing younger girl’s makeup. In different circumstances, she and Lottie could’ve been… not friends, but friendly, but it seemed like this place brought up the worst in people, making it almost impossible to be friendly with any of these girls.

Finding Priya was pure luck.

_It’d be so much easier to just couple up with her and call it a day._

Kisa smirked to herself, drawing a thin line over Lottie’s eyelid. She imagined that scene: firepit, another recoupling, and suddenly she says ‘Priya’ and everyone freezes in shock. Lucas is shocked, Bobby is shocked, producers are screaming in anticipation of all those ratings going higher than the Big Ben.

“What?” Lottie’s voice snapped Kisa out of her thoughts. “Why’re you smiling?”

She wiped the smile off her face and shrugged.

“Because we’re getting ready for a party, not a funeral… Though the atmosphere here reminds me of the latter.”

“Well, sorry we’re not being entertaining enough for you, Kisa,” Hope snapped at her. “We can’t all be so self-assured and emotionless.”

Kisa raised an eyebrow at her but said nothing: she wasn’t in a mood to feed Hope’s need for attention.

“I think you’re done,” She softly turned Lottie to face the mirror.

“Oh, wow, you’re really good at this!”

“Well, it’s kind of a must when your gran is half-Persian whose everyday look is smokey-eye,” Kisa chuckled to herself: this heavy eye makeup was almost the only cultural thing her jida taught her – or cared about herself for that matter.

 _It’s barely cultural_ , she thought to herself, going behind the screen to get changed. She picked a simple wine-colored silk midi dress, that hugged her curves perfectly, flowing effortlessly down her body.

Lottie’s phone beeped.

“It’s party time,” She read the text. “We should all head downstairs.”

Kisa checked herself in the mirror, trying to imagine the way Lucas will see her. Large deep-green eyes, high cheekbones, a cascade of dark-brown, almost black, hair, delicate collarbones… There was a little blueish spot at the base of her neck – a love bite he’d left her that’d turned into a bruise.

She knew she was attractive, but she had no idea why he wanted her, of all others. Marisol was ready to hand herself over to him, and Kisa knew that Hope had a crush on him, too. Lottie was an easy target, especially, when she was in a couple with Rahim. And then, there was Priya, who seemed to be his type all over – and now, when her couple was cracking apart, she was an easy target, too.

So why stick with her? He kinda got what he wanted, right? He wanted to push her over the lines she drew, and he pretty much did it. So, why not just stick it on someone else?

All girls left the dressing room and went downstairs, lead by the sounds of music coming from the lawn. Kisa made her way to an open bar where Gary and Rahim were mixing drinks.

“Hey, Kisa,” The blond guy smirked, checking her out playfully. “Lucas’ is one lucky prat.”

She chuckled.

“Yeah, he is. What are these?” She pointed towards Rahim’s creations.

“Orange Man,” Golfer nodded towards the bright orange liquid.

“It’s basically Aperol,” Gary butted in. “But I’m not trying that,” He added.

“Yeah, I’m feeling more like tequila tonight.”

“Me too,” Priya’s voice from behind her back made Kisa jump and spin round.

“Me three,” Bobby’s hand was draped around Priya’s shoulders but there was still tension between them.

“Me four… or whatever,” Gary added, and Rahim shook his head at the lack of appreciation.

“I’ll leave you to it.”

Kisa grabbed one of the bottles and four shot glasses and poured the drink.

“No salt?” Gary wondered.

“And, evidently, no lime,” Bobby raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t be such sissies,” Kisa waved her hand dismissively and clinked glasses with Priya.

She threw the first drink back and poured one more.

“Wow, alright, mate,” Gary laughed and finished his drink. “Hit me again.”

“That’s more like it,” Kisa grinned at him, spotting Lottie with her peripheral. The blonde watched them from afar, trying to keep up with her conversation with Marisol.

“I love this song!” Priya squealed as the DJ changed the track. “C’mon, Bobs, show me your moves!”

“I might need more than two shots of tequila for that,” Bobby chuckled following her to the dance floor.

Kisa refilled glasses for her and Gary and glanced at Lottie again.

“Is everything alright between you two?” She raised her eyebrows meaningfully, nodding towards the witch. “She looked rather upset earlier tonight.”

_And doesn’t look much better now._

Gary’s face darkened just a little as he glanced at Lottie.

“Dunno. It’s Lottie, you never know what you get into with her,” He frowned and let out a sigh. “I guess I’ll go talk to her,” Gary put down his glass. “And also, thanks for checking on me.”

“That’s what mates are for,” Kisa chuckled.

When the crane operator wandered off, she leaned her hip against the bar table and closed her eyes, listening to the music.

Suddenly, two strong, assertive hands wrapped around her waist, pressing her back into someone’s firm torso. A familiar scent reached her nose as Lucas tilted his head to plant a lingering kiss onto her shoulder.

“You smell so hot tonight,” He whispered into the girl’s ear, slowly moving his lips from her shoulder to her neck, peppering kisses.

“Hot?” She asked, hoping that her voice won’t shake as his mouth found a sensitive spot in the hollow of her collarbone. “Like burning woods hot? Or barbeque chicken wings hot?”

Lucas chuckled softly, tracing his fingers across her collarbone and then slowly up her neck, his nails scratching gently at her skin. For a long moment, he took a gentle grip of her neck and then moved her hair aside, giving himself access to the right side of her neck.

“Guess again,” He whispered seductively, his tongue faintly tracing up the side of the girl’s neck.

His other hand came into movement, slowly shifting up to her stomach, pulling slightly on the fabric of Kisa’s dress.

“Do you know that they’ve been checking you out?” He whispered in her ear, his low raspy voice sent shivers down her spine, making little hairs on her arms bristle. “All of them were looking at you so hungrily… like you’re the most delicious meal they’ve ever dreamed of trying…”

His hand moved further, making her gasp when his fingers brushed the side of her breast, and the silk fabric of her dress rubbed against her nipples making them perk. She felt his grin against her earlobe, and a moment after his tongue traced up the shell of her ear, drawing a long sigh out of her mouth.

She could see everyone else dancing, but it seemed like she’s been watching a movie, she felt so detached from each and every one of them, standing behind the bar counter, she felt like she was watching them from another side of a screen. Lucas’ hand continued its way, now tracing a line between her collarbones.

“I find it really hot,” He continued whispering to her as his hand moved down the other side of her body, now deliberately brushing against the hard bud of her nipple. “That all of them want you…”

The music has changed yet again, something sultry and slow, and barely audible through the sound of blood rushing through her head.

His hand slipped under the fabric of her dress, nails scratching the inner side of her thigh, as he sucked the skin on the pulse point behind her ear into his mouth and bit down, drawing a moan out of her. She could feel her pulse everywhere, and her hips bucked involuntarily as his fingers slowly moved further up until reached the edge of her silk panties. Her vision got blurred, and the sounds fade away, as he slowly let them slip under the fabric.

“But it’s me you’re dripping for,” His voice turned into melted caramel, so viscous and dark, she couldn’t stop another moan escaping her lips.

She pressed herself harder into him, and Lucas choked on his next words, caught off-guard with the way his body reacted to her. He let out a moan of his own as her ass rubbed against his length, which was growing harder with each moment.

His plan was to get her off, not to give himself a boner, and Lucas took a deep breath trying to will his body cooperate.

She felt the change in pace immediately and cocked her head to take a better look at him

“What’s up, doc?” Kisa smiled wickedly, shifting her hips and drawing another groan out of him, now more desperate and full of need. “Don’t like the taste of your own medicine?”

She twisted her body in his arms until she was facing the man and grazed her lower lip between her teeth.

“I want to dance… I’d invited you to join me but…” Her gaze traveled down his body, and she smirked. “I don’t think it’d be possible for you in the next few minutes.”

With these words, she pushed him gently aside and made her way to the dance floor, her body still sensitive and aroused.

Priya caught her hand pulling her closer in.

“Finally,” The older girl draped her arm around Kisa’s waist. “Now it’s a proper party.”

“Oi!” Bobby pouted, closing the gap between himself and Priya until Kisa was caught between them. “I guess only a dance-off might settle the argument.”

Laughing, Kisa threw one arm over Bobby’s shoulder as the music changed once again.

She felt Priya’s arm wrapping around her waist, pressing her back into the other girl’s chest. Bobby’s eye sparkled mischievously as he moved his hips against hers, making her back down. She sent him a smirk and returned the movement.

“You’re a cheeky one,” He blushed a little, a smile glued to his face. “I reckon I can teach you a few moves.”

“Is he always like that?” Kisa leaned her head back against Priya’s chest and looked up at the older girl.

“Yup, can’t shut him up for a bloody second,” Priya’s hand brushed the baker’s neck, pulling him closer in, so she could rest her hand on his shoulder as all three of them continued dancing.

For the first time in days, she felt like the tension was finally leaving her body as she moved in the arms of her friends, her hair all tangled and her skin hot. Her hand slipped into Bobby’s hair before moving down his body, as he pulled her closer in, as baker rested his own hands on Priya’s hips. It was rather strange, and she knew they were attracting glances, but right now, she couldn’t care less.

Her body was still athrill, and searched for any kind of relief, even if it was just dancing herself to death. She spotted Lucas as he slowly crept closer to the dance floor, his eyebrows slightly raised, and his eyes pierced into hers.

She could almost hear his alluring voice, whispering to her how everyone wants her…

Bobby’s hips bucked forward unexpectedly forceful, and her breath stuttered. She was so turned on right now, she returned the movement immediately, drawing a surprised gasp out of the baker, before turning her back to him to coil her arms around Priya’s neck.

The older girl slid her hand down Kisa’s body, resting it on the small of her back, her other hand caressing Bobby’s cheek before gripping at his hip.

“Care to join?” She asked someone, and a second later Lucas joined their weird dance, standing behind Priya, his hands wrapping around the older girl.

His blazing gaze found Kisa’s and she was gone.

His hand traveled up Priya’s body and snaked its way around Kisa’s neck, pressing her harder against the older girl torso. In the mix of hands and legs, they moved in perfect mismatched sync, twisting and twirling, and letting their bodies finally let go of the tension build-up.

Her body was on fire, she felt like she might fall apart any second now. Suddenly, her hands, one caressing Lucas’ shoulder and another wrapped around the back of Bobby’s neck, were shaking. Her body caught in a grip of hell knew how many hands were trembling, and all her insides were curled into such a tight knot, it felt like just one touch could send her into overdrive.

She made herself laugh as the music came to an end and three pairs of hands wrapped her into a sloppy embrace as they were all panting.

“I reckon it was a tie,” Bobby announced. “Kisa is just as good as I am.”

Before she could reply, the tune has changed, and Priya’s face lit up.

“Oh. Em. Ge! Do you remember this one?!” She looked expectedly at Kisa and the younger girl willed herself to shrug off her lusty haze and nod.

“What even is this song?” Lucas listened in to the first accords.

“You two, move over,” Priya waved at the boys dismissively, pulling Kisa closer in.

“What?” Bobby pouted. “How’s that fair?”

“You’ve heard her,” Kisa’s eyes stopped at Lucas, and she could swear his eyes fluttered down her body instinctively spotting her clenched thighs.

 _“…I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost_ _  
If I'm asking for help it's only because  
Being with you has opened my eyes…”_

Priya’s hand wrapped around Kisa’s waist, another taking a hold of her wrist and bringing her hand up into the air as their bodies met like two ocean waves, washing over each other. She could feel the stares on her skin, as no one else was dancing, watching the two of them.

Kisa snaked her hands around Priya’s waist, pulling their hips closer. She could feel the older girl’s frustration, and her need to forget about everything just for a moment, and it matched her own growing exasperation.

 _“…And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed_ _  
They say it's my fault but I want her so much…”_

She remembered this song just as well as if she listened to it not many years ago but only yesterday – her little talent, she couldn’t forget the lyrics she’d once memorized. And now, she and Priya screamed the words into each other’s face, their hands all over each other, tangling in each other’s hair, caressing naked skin, gripping and pulling closer, until there wasn’t any actual space between them.

Priya’s knee pushed at her legs, sliding between her thighs, almost drawing a desperate groan out of her suddenly dry mouth, making Kisa grind at her uncontrollably. Before she could stop herself, the older girl returned her movements, rolling her hips until they met Kisa’s.

She ran her fingers down Priya’s throat, tracing a path down her chest, between her breasts and all the way to her stomach before gripping tightly at her waist, crushing their bodies together.

 _“…When they stop and stare - don't worry me_ _  
'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me…”_

The music slowed down, and so did they, now looking into each other’s eyes deeply, both panting and gasping for air. Priya’s hand slowly stroked a strand of hair out of Kisa’s face, as the green-eyed girl caressed her cheek, gently tracing a path from Priya’s cheekbone all the way to her mouth.

Her body turned into a stretched bow, vibrating at each touch.

 _“…I can try to pretend, I can try to forget_ _  
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head…”_

Priya’s eyes burned into hers with so much desperate need, it flipped her switch.

Kisa’s arm waved around the back of Priya’s neck and pressed firmly making her lower her face. Priya’s hands moved from Kisa’s sides and tangled in her hair roughly as if she needed to make sure the other girl won’t disappear any second now.

She couldn’t run even if she wanted to. A second passed as their eyes found each other, and their lips crashed together in a bruising kiss, urgent and deep from the start. Kisa tightened her arm around Priya’s neck deepening it, even more, rolling her hips as the other girl’s fingers pulled painfully on her hair, trying to find a purchase on something.

Their hearts were hammering against each other’s chests, need matching need, as their bodies moved against each other frantically, the rest of the world forgotten.

Priya could taste tequila on both of their tongues now, and her quiet moan vibrated against Kisa’s mouth so desperately, and it went straight to her pulsing core, almost throwing her over the edge. There wasn’t even one thought in her head, only this feeling of a soft body pressed into hers, and a hot tongue swirling around her own.

The music became louder as the last chords played, and they pulled apart, breathless.

Kisa didn’t need to look around to see their faces and to know exactly what each of them was thinking, so she kept her eyes locked on Priya until an unfamiliar voice sliced the sudden silence.

“What a way to be welcomed into the Villa.”


	12. Lost My Mind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is here for just one reason and this reason isn't the plot development😈

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...You got me feelin'  
> So back in results  
> Now wants to get you  
> Just don't hurt any that......."
> 
> Nowayback - oOoOO

Before anyone could comment on what they all have just witnessed, Hope’s loud yelp echoed through the lawn.

“Jakub?!”

“You know him?” Gary mused, dragging his gaze from Kisa and Priya to a Hulk-alike lad.

Hope nodded, still staring at the newcomer.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

The new guy smirked at her and turned to the girl on his right.

“This is Chelsea, by the way.”

Priya leaned into Kisa to whisper while everyone else circled the new people.

“I wonder what’s their story,” She nodded at Hope and Jakub, who were standing next to each other. “Look at Noah.”

Noah hung slightly back and was now subtly watching Hope with an unreadable expression on his face.

“They’ve been arguing all day long and now this mysterious guy arrives, and it turns out Hope knows him from somewhere,” Kisa frowned. “If I know anything, it’s going to kick off any second now.”

“Kisa, Priya!” Bobby’s loud voice made them both jump a little. “Come over!” He waved at them, and Kisa could swear there was a very inappropriate joke on the tip of his tongue.

“I guess that’s our cue,” The older girl sighed and stretched her lips in a smile as they both walked up to the others. “Nice to meet you both.”

Kisa just nodded. She wasn’t interested in Hope’s acquaintance not in the slightest and the new girl looked way too excited and cheerful and Kisa was none of that. From the corner of her eye, she spotted Lucas making a beeline to her.

He draped his arm around her shoulders, pulling the girl into himself tightly and wordlessly.

Either the new girl didn’t impress him, or he was a bit rattled by what just happened between Kisa and Priya, but Lucas wasn’t in a rush to get to know the new girl unlike everyone else. Bobby and Gary played the welcoming committee, while Priya, Marisol, and Hope were laughing at Jakub’s joke.

Noah and Rahim hung a little back while Lottie was nowhere to be seen.

“Do you want to sneak out?” Lucas whispered into her ear, and his hot breath sent shivers down her spine.

Not trusting her voice, Kisa just nodded and followed him inside.

They walked into the dark empty bedroom, and before she could say a word, Lucas’ mouth crashed against hers. Kisa’s breath hitched in her throat as his tongue pushed past her teeth. He pushed her back, pinning her against the wall, his hands moving frantically up and down her body.

Her mind went blank. That part of her that still possessed any kind of self-preservation instinct just shut down, as his lips moved hungrily down her neck, mixing kisses with bites until reached the pulse point in between her collarbones. With a feral growl, he sunk his teeth into her skin, making Kisa’s back arch desperately as a loud moan escaped her throat.

She needed him to do something, she’d been on edge for way too long, and her body was now begging for relief. Her hand clenched his hair, roughly pushing his face down her body.

His fingers trembled when he pulled the straps of her dress down off her shoulders exposing her breasts. Neither of them knew how much time they had before someone appears - the only thing Lucas knew that he wanted to see her squirm as she comes undone. Keeping his body in front of hers to protect her from the cameras, he kissed across her chest before moving his lips to her breasts, drawing gasps and moans out of her as his lips covered her nipple, sucking it into his mouth as hard as he could, as his hand toyed with another.

Her hips jerked forward, and her leg snaked around his thigh. With a sigh, she started moving up and down, using him as a pole, dying for more friction.

Lucas gasped as she rubbed herself against his hard length. Gathering whatever self-control he still had, he grabbed at her ass, hoisting her up, and she wrapped both of her legs around his hips.

“So eager,” He whispered, carrying her to one of the beds.

Kisa’s hands slipped under his shirt, fingers raking up his back, and her nails scratched his skin lightly, making it prickle with goosebumps. He yanked the duvet off the bed before throwing her onto the mattress and covered them both. Now, he couldn’t see a thing, only _feel_.

As his lips returned to her breasts, his hand slid up her thigh, tracing circles slowly, mapping her skin.

She wasn’t the one to talk, he figured as she pushed her fingers into his hair pressing his face harder to her breast, and it somehow turned him on even more. He wanted to make her beg to do something to her… but maybe not tonight. Right now, he needed to give her relief as much as she needed to get it.

Her dance with Priya and Bobby, the way her body leaned into their touches… she was radiating pure lust, only blind wouldn’t have noticed that. And Bobby wasn’t blind.

Lucas and Bobby became good mates, and surely baker had his eyes for Priya… but again, he was a man and he wasn’t blind, and even for just as long as the song played, he let himself slip into her madness.

And then, there was Priya.

_She kissed her._

A rational part of his brain told him that girls kiss girls all the time when drunk and agitated and it means nothing – but there was another part of him that wished to punish her for the way she made him feel just a few minutes before.

His hand slipped down her leg and hooked her knee, making her press her feet against his back. The silk fabric of her dress slipped up, exposing her thigh, and he squeezed it firmly, digging fingers deep into her skin.

She gasped, mumbling a swear, and bucked her hips.

He could feel her heat even through the fabric of her knickers and his shirt, as she pressed herself into his stomach.

“Fuck,” He whispered, forgetting that he was supposed to be the one in control.

His cock was achingly hard, and it took all of his will power not to rub against the bed as he felt just how wet and hot she was. Next thought almost knocked him down as his mind played back the memory of her dancing with Priya, their legs tangled as their hips came together…

Without any consent from his brain, his hand flicked and gave her thigh a firm smack. Her body stills immediately, and he froze with her.

“I’m sorry…” He started, but her sudden moan made him choke on the words.

“More,” She whispers in between heavy breathes, and he almost asks more what.

Uncertainly, his hand moved away just to then crash onto her thigh, drawing another deep moan out of her. This wild, feverish sound went straight into his dick. With a groan, he shoved the fabric of her underwear aside, sliding two of his fingers inside of her, like he couldn’t wait any longer.

She almost cried, thrusting her hips against his fingers, withering beneath him, and he lost himself in her. Right now, there was nothing he desired more than to make her come, make her cry his name out, make her feel so good she forgets about everything and everyone.

She could only feel his long slender fingers fucking her and his mouth dragging across her breasts, sucking and licking and biting, and her world seized to the size of the bed. Her body moved uncontrollably beneath him, so desperate for relief she’d do anything if he asked. There was no clear thought in the head of hers, no other emotion than this all-consuming heat of desire washing over her, tensing in the pit of her stomach, scrunching her insides into a knot.

It was almost terrifying, how much she needed this. His touches set her body on fire, making her forget about everything. She kept pushing back her own boundaries every time he was near, and the worst part? She almost enjoyed it. She almost enjoyed the way he kept stretching her limits.

She was willing to swear he was just as much of a whining mess as she herself, as she thrust herself onto his fingers, trying to get him as deeper as possible. His thumb pressed to her clit, circling her roughly, and she had to clasp at his hair to ground herself or she’d just drown in the ocean of sensations.

He groaned dangerously, his teeth sinking deep into the skin just under her right breast, and worked her harder, determined to crush her apart. She wrapped her other leg around him changing the angle and cried so loud he had to fling his hand to her open face. Before he could cover her lips with his palm, she sucked his fingers into the wet heat of her mouth, and he groaned desperately as her tongue grazed them from base to tips, part of her wishing it was his cock inside her mouth instead.

This thought was enough to push her over the edge.

She clenched around his fingers, her back arching up the bed, pressing so hard into him it kicked the air out of his chest. Her throat vibrated around his fingers, and her hips bucked into his cock, and her eyes rolled back into her head as the world exploded around her.

“Oh, fuck,” He gasped, almost overwhelmed with _her_ sensations.

He almost came when she sucked his fingers deep into her throat, only this need to lead her through her relief kept him afloat, not letting him slip into his own pleasure completely. His cock was throbbing with desperate need, and his body trembled as her hips slowed down, riding his fingers slow and dirty, as her tongue started grazing fingers of his other hand again.

Her aftershocks subsided but her legs were still wrapped tightly around him, and Lucas slowly removed his fingers from inside of her and traced them across her thigh. With a dark chuckle, she snaked her hand in between their bodies, cupping him through the fabric of his pants. He would’ve been embarrassed by a whimper that escaped his mouth if she herself hadn’t moaned her approval.

He gasped as she swiftly unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. Her hand took a firm grip of him, stroking him roughly, as her other hand explored his body lazily.

Her touch felt like electricity.

He could swear he wasn’t touched like that never in his entire life. She was in complete control of him even now as her body was pinned to the bed with his weight, and it was driving him wild. He was tipping on the edge, feeling the hot waves of pleasure spread over his body uncontrollably, the twist in his stomach ready to uncoil.

She moved her hand faster, twisting her wrist, and sucked his fingers back into her mouth hard, and his fingertips bumped into the back of her throat, and it sent him into overdrive. With a desperate thrust of his hips, he buried his face in her breasts, letting a low growl escape his mouth as he came hard into her hand and the world around him exploded.

His body twisted uncontrollably, painfully, and he felt the tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. Kisa moaned beneath him, and this sound sent another jolt of electricity through him, and his eyes rolled back into his head. If it was physically possible, he’d come again just at the thought of her enjoying getting him off so much.

She kept stroking him until his body stilled completely, lying flat on top of her. He hadn’t noticed that at some point he let his weight completely crash into her, and only realized that when the girl beneath him wiggled to free her hand from between their bodies.

He rolled over and sprawled beside her, panting and not knowing what to say.

He did it again, he pushed her too hard again, and he made her lose control yet again. And somehow, this didn’t feel like a victory. It wasn’t sex but it was pretty damn close –the fact that his dick wasn’t inside of her didn’t make him a lesser moron.

They lay there in silence, listening to each other’s heartbeats for such a long moment, Kisa’s mind almost drifted into sleep. It was hot and dark under the covers and her eyelids became so heavy she just couldn’t resist shutting them. Finally, the man beside her shuffled a little closer, brushing his fingers across her cheekbone.

“Hey,” He called quietly.

Her body jerked awake, and Kisa turned her head to him even though she couldn’t make out his face in this complete darkness.

“Sup?”

Lucas chuckled.

“Sounds pretty casual for someone who doesn’t do casual.”

He mentally kicked himself twice.

“You’re walking on very thin ice, Dr. Koh,” She worried him with a note of concern in her voice. “Be careful, or you might end up physiotherapisizing yourself for the rest of the summer.”

“That’s what I actually wanted to talk about,” He was glad she couldn’t see his face, too vulnerable and row for him to feel comfortable to let anyone see it.

Kisa let out a soft, almost empathetic chuckle.

“Don’t bother.” She suddenly sat up on the bed. “I’ll see you in a bit.” With these words, she slipped from under the duvet leaving him alone in the darkness, with absolutely no idea how to feel.


	13. Late Night Therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Ain't no fun when we're playing it safe  
> I didn't want you to see me  
> And my feelings this way  
> But it's taking me over  
> So stay..."
> 
> [Romantic -Wens]

When Kisa got back downstairs, most of the islanders were hanging out by the pool. Her heart was still pounding inside her chest ready to jump out, and she’d rather be anywhere else but… anywhere else would just end up being anywhere else with Lucas. And that was something she’d rather not.

Her body was still high from all the adrenaline, and so she went straight to an open bar. Right now, tequila was the only friend she needed. Kisa grabbed a half-empty bottle and slowly walked downstairs, remembering that there was a bench hidden behind the vines – if she’s lucky, it’d be empty.

With her teeth, she unscrewed the lid and took a long swig. She wasn’t ready to think about what the fuck just had happened.

She had no one else to blame but herself. She let him push her boundaries, again. She willingly gave herself in, both times. She handed herself to him, knowing that he only wants her until she doesn’t want him – and now, he’s probably done with her. What else he might possibly want from the girl who first says that she doesn’t hook-up with strangers and then fucks a guy she’d met like 5 days ago.

She scowled at herself as she made her way to the hidden bench.

_Shit._

She bumped into Bobby who was just sitting there, looking at the empty bottle he cradled in his hands. Kisa wasn’t sure that he needed company and slowly backed off, trying not to make any noise. Surely, the decking under her feet cracked, making baker look up at her.

“Oh, hey,” He blushed a little.

“Hey,” She nodded stiffly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just looking for a quiet place to… think,” She chuckled. “I’ll go somewhere else.”

“No,” He patted the space next to him. “Stay. I could do with some thinking, too.”

Kisa carefully lowered herself next to him and passed the bottle to the younger islander. They sat a few moments in slightly awkward silence.

_Right, I kissed his girl, in front of everyone._

It was pointless, to apologize. First, she wasn’t sorry. Second, it changed nothing: both she and Priya were still very straight.

Bobby took a large gulp of liquor and coughed a bit.

“Steady on, tiger,” Kisa chuckled, patting his back.

Baker wiped the tears from beneath his eyes and relaxed against the back of the bench. He took a cautious sip and passed the bottle back to Kisa.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked quietly.

She nodded, crossing her legs on the bench. They could hear some distant voices and laughter but it was more of a background noise, it wasn’t even possible to make out which voice belonged to which islander. A cool breeze picked up, and Kisa shivered slightly, regretting that she didn’t grab a blanket on her way here.

“Do you think Priya likes someone else here?” Bobby couldn’t bring himself to look at the girl, so he just focused on the decking under his feet.

Right now, he reminded her so much of Seth, her heart almost jumped out of her chest.

“Someone else… You mean, like Noah?” Kisa asked carefully.

Bobby shrugged.

“No,” Kisa shook her head. “I don’t think she actually likes him – or anyone else for that matter. She’s smarter than fancying a guy who grafts on her behind his partner’s back.”

Bobby finally looked up.

“So… he _did_ graft her?”

Kisa took a long swig, trying to figure out what, and how, to say. Priya was her best friend here, and she wanted her to find her happily ever after. But also, she wasn’t the one to gossip and discuss someone else’s life. This place was weird enough without her meddling in her friend’s business, right?

“Please,” Bobby grabbed her hand as if he felt her hesitation. “At this point, you’re the only person here I can trust.”

“What are you talking about?” She looked at him, stunned. “You’re mates with literally everyone.”

Baker let out a grim snigger and took the bottle from her hands. He made a few large sips, rolling the liquor on his tongue until his eyes watered. He was clearly shaken, but Kisa didn’t know why. He seemed fine just twenty minutes ago.

“Have you heard this saying: friend to everyone is a friend to none?” Bobby shook his head as if trying to fight back his own thoughts. “It’s kind of easy on the outside but it’s barely possible here, where all of us are rivals.”

“Why do you feel the need to be friends with everyone then?”

Bobby looked up to glance at her, twirling the bottle in his long piano fingers, and Kisa thought again that this guy seemed like an open book, but in reality, they knew nothing about him.

“Because I’m too fucking scared to be alone,” He replied finally, a dark smirk stretched across his lips. “My parents didn’t give a shit about me. When I turned sixteen, I started working at this horrible takeaway place just so I could move out. My father was just a drunkhead, he cared about nothing, and my mom… well, she stayed with him, and it was really messed up. I moved out when I was barely seventeen, and none of them gave a fuck.”

Bobby laughed.

“Yeah, that’s Bobby’s little story, ladies and gentlemen,” He jumped to his feet and bowed theatrically, almost tripping over his own feet.

Kisa grabbed his wrist making him sit back down before he injured himself.

“I felt so lonely, had no idea where to go and who to talk to,” Bobby plopped down, spilling tequila on both of them. “I figured I need to make a shit ton of friends so I will never be lonely again.”

It made such a perfect sense now, Kisa almost laughed in relief. He wasn’t just this massive player who wants to keep everyone on a leash, he’s just a sad lonely boy… Just like she herself was this sad lonely girl who didn’t know how to grow up.

“Have you ever told this to anyone?” She meant ‘Priya’ but didn’t want to trigger him with her name.

“Nope,” He shook his head. “Dunno why told ye know.”

_He didn’t, tequila told me that._

“You really should talk about this to her,” Kisa said softly, taking hold of Bobby’s hand. “Look, I stand by my words: she doesn’t fancy Noah or anyone else for that matter. But… you make it difficult for her to really trust you. She feels like you don’t have her back, and she can’t trust that when the two of you are out of here things will be any different. She needs someone to rely on, you know?”

Kisa frowned.

“I know you want to start a family, to have kids, to give them what your own parents didn’t give you. But right now… You’ve got to grow up yourself first, Bobby. It’s hard and painful, I know. But at least show her that you’re trying, that you’re ready to change for her.”

Something inside of her really cared for this guy, and she didn’t even know why. She’d known him for ten days, she couldn’t remember the last time she was so honest and so concerned about someone she’d known for such a short period of time… It usually took years for someone to get this close to her.

She couldn’t just trust, she couldn’t bring herself to trust anyone. After all those times her trust had been broken, it was a miracle she was still capable of caring for someone. Sometimes, she thought it was a miracle she’s still willing to actually _try_ to believe someone.

Bobby studied her with his deep amber eyes.

“I know you’ll just brush it off but… Are you okay? You seem quite… off tonight.”

Kisa could see his cheeks blush as he spoke, and her own face suddenly went hot, too.

“I will be,” She finally responded. “I always end up okay.”

That was yet another lie that she kept telling herself. She wasn’t okay. People who are okay aren’t afraid of being betrayed, aren’t terrified of trusting someone… they can put down the walls at least for a moment.

“I think Lucas is actually _really_ into you,” Bobby offered, sensing her hesitation. “He might come off as a prick but… he does care about you.”

_If he cared about me, he wouldn’t do what he did tonight._

“Don’t worry about me, Bobs,” Kisa shrugged off her thoughts and ruffled baker’s hair a little.

“I think the party’s over,” She noted after some time. “We ought to get back to others.”

They both got up to their feet, and Bobby swayed drunkenly. Kisa caught him into her arms and took a firm grip of his waist.

“Ugh, thanks,” Young man blushed furiously. “I didn’t know I was this drunk.”

Slowly, they walked upstairs and all the way across the already empty lawn.

“Are you gonna be alright?” She whispered as they approached the boys’ dressing room. Only Gary was still there, and Bobby nodded. “I’ll see you upstairs then.”

She handed Bobby over to Gary and went to the girls’ dressing room to get changed for the night.

Priya was still there, clearly waiting for her.

“Hey,” Kisa grabbed one of her pajamas and went behind the screen. “How was the party?”

She heard footsteps, and a second later Priya peeked behind the screen. She looked around as if to make sure they’re still alone and then whispered:

“It was really weird,” Priya rested her chin on top of the screen. “Apparently, this Jakub guy and Hope met a few years back when she was in Rochdale – and she didn’t tell why she was there in the first place. They both were pretty vague about what kind of relationship they had – or have – but it’s pretty obvious that they know each other well.”

Kisa pulled on a silk night suit and leaned closer in, listening intently.

“That’s not all. I mean it’s only a feeling and I don’t know anything for sure but… I think this guy has some sort of a scheme.”

“What kind of scheme?” The younger girl arched her eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” Priya frowned. “Just a hunch, you know? I’m going to spend some time with him tomorrow and try to figure it out.”

Priya walked Kisa into the bathroom and waited until Rahim finished brushing his teeth and left before continuing:

“Just be cautious around him, okay? I don’t trust this guy.”

Kisa nodded even though she didn’t share Priya’s concerns: even if Jakub did have some sort of game plan in mind, why’d she cared about it? She had enough on her plate with her own couple, and she dreaded the moment she had to go to the bedroom and sleep in the same bed with Lucas.

She frowned at her own reflection as she was brushing her long hair.

_Why are you nervous? He’s just some guy you’ve met less than a week ago, he’s hardly the love of your life._

She nodded to herself and turned to Priya to reassure her, but the bathroom door flew open and Bobby walked in, alone.

“Where’s Gary?” Kisa caught him the moment baker’s body tilted dangerously to one side.

“Lottie caught him downstairs and…” Bobby hiccupped. “It was a heated conversation.”

Priya eyed Bobby suspiciously, and Kisa felt the need to retreat. These two had a lot to talk about, and she was the third wheel. Gently, she pushed Bobby towards his girl and slipped out of the bathroom.

She bumped into Jakub in the bedroom doorway. The newbie looked down at her, smirking.

“How is it going?”

She shrugged, pushing herself past him. She wasn’t interested in him in the slightest and couldn’t care less if he had a scheme to take down the Villa. Her heart picked up the tempo with each step closer to her and Lucas’ bed.

He was already there, snuggled under the covers and waiting for her. He watched her from across the room as she made her way to their bed and then slipped under the duvet. Lucas shuffled closer to her, and his body heat almost burned her skin even through the fabric of her pajama.

“Hey there,” His low whisper sent shivers down her spine, as Lucas moved his lips to her ear, ghosting his breath on the skin of her neck.

She rolled her eyes.

“You won’t get to fuck me in a room full of people.”

It sounded way more aggressive than supposed, and he looked up at her, surprised. She sounded angry, plain, and simple. Not playful or sarcastic, not even annoyed – just angry, as if she was barely holding herself back from punching him.

Lucas frowned, grazing his lower lip between his teeth.

When she left him earlier, alone in bed, he wasn’t quite sure what to make of their little rendezvous. Then, he spotted her and Bobby, drinking together, but she didn’t look much upset, at least, she looked more concerned about pastry chef than her own self. Lucas figured it’d be better to give her some space and now, he wasn’t so sure it was a good idea.

“Um,” He backed off. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

She shrugged and snuggled deeper into the pillow.

“I’m just too tired right now. I need some sleep.”

She put on her sleep mask and rolled over onto her side, facing away from the man. She wasn’t angry before, at least, she didn’t _know_ she was angry. But anger was familiar ground. Anger wouldn’t let her feel anything else, and so she felt it, and somehow, it was almost relieving.

Kisa shut her eyes close under the mask and tried to block out the sounds of other islanders settling in for the night. She heard the bed next to her squeak and then Priya’s soft hand brushed her cheek.

“Night, Kisa,” Priya whispered and then added louder. “Night, everyone.”

“Sleep well, guys,” Gary wished from across the room, and everything went quiet, silence disrupted only by occasional bedsheets rustle and someone’s snoring.

As she was already drifting into sleep, someone’s soft hand brushed her face lightly, and a quiet voice whispered something to her, but she couldn’t make out who this voice belonged to or what did it just say.

***

Waking up before the sunrise started to be a normal thing for Kisa. She was lying there, in almost complete darkness, all wrapped into Lucas’ arms and legs.

_For someone who doesn’t do commitment, he’s way too clingy._

Kisa rolled her eyes, squinting to make out his face, turned to her. Last night’s anger was gone, and now she was just tired. Tired of constant bad luck when it comes to relationship, any kind of relationship. Her parents were too focused on their jobs to care about her. Outside her band, she had no friends. And all men she ever loved turned into people she hated most.

Sometimes, she felt cursed.

_Maybe I should ask Lottie to perform an exorcism on me or something._

She gently stroked Lucas’ side. He mumbled in his sleep and rolled over. Kisa grinned and slipped from under the duvet: it was just about the time to start her day.

She had so much to think about, her mind was constantly racing, and she needed to ground herself. It was still dark and chilly outside, but right now, she needed this cold air to use as a distraction, just to keep her mind busy with something else besides her feelings for Lucas.

_I have no feelings for him._

_Unless constant thirst is a feeling, after all._

Kisa kicked herself mentally. This was exactly the type of thought she should avoid at all costs. This guy was horrible for her, just the way her body reacted to him was enough to run a mile and never look back. With him, she lost control, and that was unacceptable.

She made herself a cup of coffee and went back upstairs. First rays of sun lit up the skies as she walked out to the roof terrace. This view was something she felt grateful for, even though she mostly hated this place.

She finished her drink slowly, savoring each and every peaceful moment. She knew: the moment she gets back inside and starts her day, this calm state will disappear, and her mind will go back to freaking out. At least, she had these few minutes just to herself, no producers, no islanders, no cameras getting shoved in her face.

Finally, she dragged herself up from the bench and followed back inside. It was still quiet, so she’d heard someone’s voice coming from the girls’ dressing room.

Kisa listened in to the whisper: it was Hope’s annoying high pitch for sure.

“I’m so glad you’re here, we’ll make a great team.”

“You know me, girl, always up for some fun time.”

 _That must be the new guy,_ Kisa thought to herself. _But what the hell are they on about?_

She could hear some sort of commotion behind the closed door and looked around, trying to find a place to hide. She stepped aside, squeezing into a tiny space between the wall and stairs to the roof terrace. She had no idea what that conversation was about, but it was clear that those people didn’t want anyone to hear them.

Hope and Jakub left the girls’ dressing room and went downstairs, and only then Kisa slowly left her hiding spot. Frowning, she walked into the dressing room and grabbed her caddy.

_I guess Priya’s intuition was right, after all._

About an hour later, Priya, Bobby, and Lucas joined her, Gary and Rahim at the gym. Gary was bench pressing her, and Kisa considered that for a work-out.

“Wow,” Bobby theatrically bowed down. “I’m well impressed, Garemenator.”

“I reckon I could bench press Kisa,” Lucas noted with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

“Keep telling yourself that, mate,” She smirked at him. “Gary, two more and I’m done with today’s workout.”

“You’re done?” Bobby chuckled.

“It counts,” Kisa smirked as Rahim helped her to her feet, and Gary gave her a bearhug. “I feel pumped after that!”

As her eyes fell on Priya, she remembered that she needed to talk to her. Bobby and Lucas approached other guys, and Kisa flopped down on the grass and patted the space next to her inviting the older girl to join.

“I’ve overheard Hope’s conversation with the new guy this morning, it sounded shady.” Kisa whispered.

Priya’s eyes widened and she barely held back a squeal.

“What?!” Kisa shhh’ed her. “Sorry. So, what were they talking about?”

“I’ve only heard the end of it,” Younger girl admitted. “Something about them making a great team. And it was before everyone else woke up, so I bet they weren’t even wearing mics.”

Priya frowned a bit, biting on her lip. She watched Bobby spotting Lucas for a few moments before turning her attention back to Kisa.

“I think we should try to figure out what’s going on between them. I reckon since we got two new people there must be dates, right?”

“Well, that was the case when this prat turned up,” Kisa nodded at Lucas. “But when they dropped the first bombshell,” She nudged Priya gently on her thigh. “Nothing like that happened.”

“I think it was just because I literally came in here the same day, just a few hours later,” Priya noted. “Anyway, my plan is to figure out what’s going on, so, I need to be pro-active,” She leaned in and whispered into Kisa’s ear. “I’m gonna find Jakub and see what’s what. I don’t trust him and surely, I don’t trust Hope. I’ve got a really bad feeling…”

Priya trailed off and shook her head, glancing at Bobby.

“I told Bobby about my suspicious, but he thinks it’s nothing,” She frowned. “He basically said that I’m imagining things.”

Kisa looked over Priya’s shoulder, spotting Bobby and Lucas both staring at them. She sighed deeply and turned back to the older girl.

“Maybe he’s right? And even if there’s something going on, maybe we should just steer clear?”

_Bobby’s just scared that someone’s going to snap her up, and she doesn’t make it better by hanging out with Noah and ‘investigating’ Jakub._

“He’s not right,” Priya shook her head. “I’m tired of constantly looking behind my back and pretending to be fine when they talk shit about me. I want to take that bitch down, and I’ll do it whether you and Bobby think it’s stupid.”

Priya jumped to her feet and marched off. Bobby sat up on the bench, frowning, as he looked at the spot where his girl just was. With a heavy heart, Kisa got up, too, and waved Bobby and Lucas over.

Gary and Rahim exchanged amused glances.

“Sorry, boys, I’m taking these two with me… you know, to bang them in the bathroom,” Kisa winked at Gary and lead Lucas and Bobby over to the firepit.

“What’s going on?” Lucas frowned as he and Bobby took their seats on both sides of the girl.

“Priya thinks Hope and Jakub are up for something,” She made a sign for both men to scooch closer. “She mentioned that she’s tired to look behind her back… and that Hope might be plotting something against her.”

“What?” Bobby’s leg was shaking up and down with nervous energy. “She didnae say anything about that when we spoke earlier this morning.”

“Hold your horses,” Lucas waved his hand. “I’m lost. Why’d Hope be plotting something with Jakub?”

Kisa sighed and rehashed her chat with Priya and the conversation she’d overheard. Both men listened to her carefully, and when she finished, they’ve exchanged glances. Bobby looked more deflated than anything, and she really wanted to hug him right now and tell him that everything is going to turn out fine.

“Well, that chat might’ve been about anything,” Lucas admitted. “Doesn’t mean Hope is plotting anything,” He glanced at Bobby. “But since Priya believes there might be something, well, I think it's worth further investigation.”

Kisa was surprised to hear those words from mister I-don’t-fucking-care-about-anyone. Bobby’s face lightened up a little as the older guy gave him a reassuring pat on the back. Before they could carry on with the conversation, a phone beeped somewhere in the Villa.

“Oh my god!” Chelsea’s loud yelp echoed through the Villa. “Guys, I’ve got a text!”

Lucas rolled his eyes.

“That’s our cue.”

Kisa’s hand slipped down Bobby’s arm and gave his hand a firm squeeze.

“It’ll be fine, I’m sure,” She whispered before all three of them joined everyone by the pool.

Chelsea and Jakub were surrounded by other islanders, all eyes glued to them. Bobby glanced at Priya as if not sure if she wanted him to come over to her. She caught his gaze and smiled, beckoning him over. Bobby beamed and shuffled closer to her.

“He’s really scared that he might lose her, you know?” Lucas moved closer to Kisa so no one could hear them.

“I’d noticed,” She frowned, grazing her lower lip between her teeth. “Priya’s been acting a bit off these days.”

“Not only her,” Lucas noted, looking pointedly at her, and Kisa’s breath stuttered. “We should talk.”

“Aren’t we now?” She cocked an eyebrow at him, and he leaned in, ghosting his warm breath on her cheeks.

“You know what I mean.”

Surely, she knew. And even more surely, she had absolutely no intention to discuss whatever happened between them. She could keep herself together now when she managed to distance herself from the memories of his arms roaming her body and his lips drinking her – but if she starts talking, the illusion will be gone. If she starts talking, she’ll start feeling and she didn’t want to feel.

Jakub’s loud voice snapped them both out of their little chat.

“I chose Hope and Priya.”

“What?” Kisa’s eyes darted to Priya.

She could only see hers and Bobby’s backs, but she spotted the moment Priya’s shoulder bumped into his and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. Then, she and Hope walked up to Jakub and froze just behind him, waiting for Chelsea to speak.

“So, is that her plan?” Lucas whispered. “To go on a date with this rock of a guy?”

“It makes sense,” Kisa frowned slightly. “They’ll be alone, there’s gonna be wine and he’ll be more relaxed and more likely to talk about himself and Hope and stuff…”

She trailed off, shaking her head.

“I’m worried about Bobby,” Lucas’ eyes filled with unfamiliar emotion that Kisa couldn’t give a name to.

“Guys!” Marisol’s voice was too loud and close to ignore.

“What?” Kisa looked her dead in the eye. “Haven’t you heard that it’s uncouth to interrupt someone’s conversation?”

Marisol scowled, while Gary let out an amused chuckle.

“What?” Lucas repeated his partner’s question.

“Chelsea invited you and me on a date,” Blond guy smirked, making his way up to the new girl.

Kisa’s stomach made a backflip and for a second, she suddenly couldn’t breathe, as if all the air was drenched out of her lungs. Her first impulse was to grab his hand, but she managed to fight it back. 

She looked up and smirked at Lucas as their eyes locked.

“Just bring him back in one peace,” She flung off casually, barely giving Chelsea a glance. “I still have ten more sessions, have I?”


	14. Dangerous Elysium.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Keep me where you hide your second sight  
> Deep inside where secrets start  
> Where the lovers go when they are tired..."
> 
> [Where Do Lovers Go? - Ghostly Kisses]

When Jakub, Chelsea, and their dates were gone, Kisa gracefully dived into the pool, determined to make the best out of the worst. With Lucas gone, she finally had a chance to just take a breath and step back, and instead of hanging out with the others, she spent the last two hours mindlessly doing laps. She wouldn’t mind spending this time with Bobby but, at first, Lottie suddenly needed him, and then, producers invited him to the Beach Hut.

Kisa knew that shortly after that it’ll be her turn and needed to figure out what to say – or feel. When she realized that the new girl picked Lucas to go on a date with her, Kisa felt this desperate need to make sure she’s going to be the one on his mind during that date. It was childish and plain stupid, but she just couldn’t let some random girl swoop in and take what’s hers.

 _He’s not yours,_ she had to remind herself as she swam underwater.

Kisa fought the resistance and dived deeper, until she was sitting on the pool bottom, her arms wrapped around her knees. She looked up, her gaze traveling through the water surface until it reached the bright blue sky. Chlorine in the water stung her eyes so Kisa shut them close, lowering her face to her knees.

Right now, she felt protected. As if this column of water was able to protect her from whatever was coming next for her. In frustration, she opened her mouth and screamed silently, and dozens of air bubbles escaped her mouth rushing up to the surface.

Before she could understand what’s going on, two strong hands pulled her up, and she resurfaced from the water, panting and coughing.

“Are you okay?!” Lucas’ voice reached her ears through the water and the sound of her own pounding heart.

She tried to rub her eyes, but it only made them sting more, and Kisa winced in pain.

“What the hell?” She asked angrily, trying to wait out the pain. “What’s gotten into you?”

“What’s gotten into me?” He barked, pulling her to the shallow end.

“Is she okay?!” A choir of voices broke through making her snap her eyes open.

Bobby, Lottie, Priya, and Gary looked down at her, their faces were drained of color. She also spotted a cameraman and one of the producers rushing her way.

“I’m fine,” Kisa looked at them in turns, confused. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?!” Lucas snapped from behind her back. “You were under the fucking water, and we could see the air bubbles! What was I supposed to think?!”

He radiated anger. Kisa had no problem believing that at that moment, he could’ve actually hit the wall and leave a hole in it. His body was still pressed into her, trembling with aftershocks of adrenaline rush as his hands clasped at her shoulders. Lucas spun her round so she was now facing him and studied her face.

“I’m fine,” She repeated, cocking her head to look at the others. “I… um, sorry if I worried you guys, I was just swimming.”

She managed a weak smile.

“Just give us a moment, okay?”

When others left, Kisa’s eyes locked on Lucas: his face was as off-color as everyone else’s but there was also something behind his chocolate-colored eyes that Kisa saw for the first time: horror. He was terrified, and her heart suddenly made a backflip at the thought that he cared _this_ much.

 _They all looked scared,_ she cut her own thoughts off. _Priya looked like she was ready to jump into the pool herself._

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” She finally broke the silence between them. “I just needed a moment to myself, and I used to do this when I was a teenager…”

She trailed off, frowning.

_He doesn’t care what you used to do when you were fifteen._

“But I’m sorry.”

Lucas nodded and helped her to get out of the pool. Before she could skip off, he grabbed her wrist roughly, pinning her to the spot with his blazing gaze. He still looked half-scared half-mad, and Kisa’s stomach tightened into a knot.

“We should talk.”

Before she could reply, one of the producers, Lara, approached them.

“Kisa, you’ve been asked to go to Beach Hut. Now.”

“She’ll go there when we’re finished,” Lucas groaned, his fingers still wrapped tightly around the girl’s wrist.

“Now means now,” Lara gave Kisa an apologetic look. “Let’s go, sweetheart.”

Kisa let out a relieved sigh: she wasn’t ready to talk to him right now, whatever it was that he wanted to say, she wasn’t ready to hear it. She tried to free her hand, but he still held his grip.

“You _will_ talk to me, _sweetheart.”_ He hissed into the space between them, grimacing.

The guy she yelled at on their first date was back. Everything in him made her insides boil with anger and desire to put him back into his place – a desire so strong, she couldn’t resist it now. Taking him by surprise, she used the way he held her wrist to wrap her fingers around his and jerk his arm, making it wrap half-way around his own torso.

The same moment she took hold of his other hand and pulled Lucas closer, only now his back was pressed against her chest and stomach, and his hands were in her tight- painful – grip.

“Have you forgotten?” She hissed just like him, ghosting her breath on the base of his neck. “Never call me a sweetheart – or things might get… painful.”

She knew that she was hurting him, as she pressed her forefingers deeper into the pain points at his wrists. He gasped just a little but still wriggled slightly, turning his head to look back at her.

“That’s okay, _sweetheart_ ,” Lucas’ eyes darkened. “I like it rough.”

She had to pull back and almost skip off just so her body doesn’t betray her and push him onto the back and fuck him right there and then. She ran past Hope and Jakub, pushing them aside as she moved hastily, tears of frustration rolling down her cheeks.

“Kisa!” Priya’s voice couldn’t slow her down, right now, she needed to hide, and she knew exactly the place for that.

She only slowed down before the Beach Hut door, panting, beads of sweat running down her temples mixing with tears. The way he acted just now was just too much, and her fucking heart couldn’t take it. He looked so scared when he thought that she might’ve been in danger – and the next moment, he was angry and sneering, and it was just too much.

She couldn’t take this anymore.

He’s been sending her mixed signals this entire time, standing up for her, pursuing her – but openly admitting that he doesn’t want anything serious with her. He went on a date with another girl but as soon as he got back, he was all over her, again, in his fit of anger, he was still very much driving her crazy.

She wanted to scream.

She disliked him so much, she almost _hated_ him for the way he made her feel. His every touch, every snarky comment, every flutter of his long lashes – all of that made her defenses fall, leaving her so fragile, he could crush her with just a touch.

She needed to stay as far away from him as physically possible even though the only thing she truly wanted was to merge with him, to finally _feel_ him, all of him. And she knew it was unhealthy, and wrong, and morbid… and she couldn’t do anything about it. She was too caught up, too far gone to turn back. She was way too deep… too _into it_.

No one has ever made her feel so _deliciously_ fucked up. Her control was gone completely, and there was a dark, twisted side of her that was enjoying it. This warped side of her wanted more. More pain, more craving, more misery… more of him. All of him. She _needed_ all of him, and it was mental, and she needed to fucking stop.

Beach Hut hookup passed in a blur, Kisa couldn’t even remember the question she’d just answered.

Her mind couldn’t slow down even for a second, even when she left the room and walked slowly back outside, following staff’ directions.

“Everyone else is getting ready for a challenge,” Young man gave her a nod, and Kisa hesitantly made her way to kitchen.

Bobby, Priya, Noah, and Rahim were there, deep in conversation. Kisa walked over to them and slid on a chair next to Priya. The older girl looked over her shoulder and beamed.

“Hey, you,” She gave her a quick hug, shrugging Bobby’s hand off her shoulders as she reached for Kisa. “You alright?”

_No._

“Yeah, just had to go to Beach Hut.”

Priya rolled her eyes.

“Was it about Lucas’ date?”

Kisa nodded even though she couldn’t be sure about anything: those twenty minutes were completely wiped out of her memory. At the mention of the dark-haired man little hairs on her arms stood on ends, and she nervously looked around the lawn, spotting him, Gary, and Chelsea all the way on the sun loungers.

She felt a little poke of jealousy, but a part of her felt relieved. A small part of her wanted the new girl to have him, so she didn’t have to have this constant fight with herself over him.

 _She can have him if she wants,_ Kisa thought to herself watching Rahim and Noah as they arm-wrestled. _I just want to break free from him._

Finally, Priya’s phone beeped announcing that the challenge stage was ready and they all should proceed over there. As they walked, Priya’s arm snaked around Kisa’s waist.

“What’s going on between you and Lucas?”

Kisa raised an eyebrow at her.

“That’s exactly what I was going to ask you about Noah,” Younger girl narrowed her eyes at the librarian. “He’d lost to Rahim cos he’s been watching you all the time.”

Priya’s eyes darted to Bobby who was too busy bantering Rahim.

“He came up to chat with me when I was in the lounge, like, maybe ten minutes ago,” Priya whispered. “I honestly have no idea what that was about, he didn’t say much. Just random chatter and then Hope called for him, and he left.”

“And Jakub?”

Older girl’s face darkened at the mention.

“The date was horrible. It felt like on a school exam and not in a sexy way. He had his first date with Hope and Chelsea with Lucas, so me and Gary hanged out for a bit together.”

“And then what?”

“And then, I’ve got a date from hell,” Priya scowled. “He’d bombarded me with questions, starting with “How come you’re twenty-nine and single” and ending with “Do you think you and Bobby could win this thing,” She shook her head. “I should’ve listened to you. I regret my little investigation deeply.”

Her eyes fell on Bobby.

“I feel so bad, you know,” She added quietly. “Bobby said he’s fine and that date didn’t bother him but… but well, I can see it _did_ bother him.”

_Indeed._

“He just really likes you,” Kisa smiled softly. “If you like him half as much as he likes you, you two will be fine.”

“I really like him,” Priya smiled, blushing. “After this date, I’m even more sure of my feelings than before.”

A sigh of relief left Kisa’s mouth: she’d hate to see either of them unhappy. She pulled the older girl closer, taking a firm grip on her waist.

“I’m happy for you.”

When they were finally done with the promo video, everyone took their places on stage.

“Oh, it’s girls vs boys challenge!” Chelsea squealed excitedly.

“So, what exactly is this challenge then?” Lottie didn’t share her excitement. “If it’s another slime challenge, I’m out.”

“Oi!” Bobby mused. “I love me a good slime challenge!”

Priya rolled her eyes.

“Anything to put your paws on girls, right, Bobby?”

“You know me, can’t resist that bod of yours,” He grinned at her, drawing a few annoyed groans out of other islanders.

Kisa watched them with a smile, ignoring Lucas’ gaze that was burning holes in her body. She just couldn’t bring herself to look at him, her heart started beating faster just at the memory of his last words, and his back pressed firmly into her chest.

Finally, Bobby’s phone beeped.

“It’s a snog-marry-pie challenge!”

They finally spotted a tray covered with a large tablecloth.

“I’d rather do another slime challenge,” Lottie admitted. “I can’t imagine getting pied, ugh, it’ll be so gross.”

“Maybe none of them will pie you…” Chelsea offered unsurely.

“Yeah, right,” Lottie huffed. “Because everyone likes me so much.”

Kisa couldn’t disagree on that: she pied Noah a few days back figuratively, and she had a feeling he’s going to pie her literally. Also, she was pretty rude to Jakub… Gary and Rahim were mates so she could cross them out, right?

And then, there was Bobby who could do it just for fun – or because he knew she wouldn’t come for him for that, unlike all the other girls.

_The possibilities are endless…_

She finally looked up from the decking, and her eyes immediately fell on Lucas. He raised an eyebrow ever so slightly, and her heart stuttered.

_What if he decided to couple with Chelsea at the next recoupling?_

This thought didn’t bring her peace of mind anymore. Now, she was scared that it might actually happen. And if it does, where does it leave her?

Lucas’ face darkened as he watched her face fall, buried under her thoughts and fears. She refused to talk to him, she was constantly in her head, and he had no idea what the fuck was going on with her.

When he got back from his date, the first thing he planned to do was checking on her. And when he saw her on the bottom of the pool surrounded by all those air bubbles… his heart almost stopped. A rational part of him shut down and he just dived into the pool to pull her out of the water immediately.

For those few seconds that he didn’t know that she was okay, his heart couldn’t beat properly, and it freaked him out. His blown out of proportion panic made him question his own sanity, and when she just left him and literally ran off… he almost followed her just to knock some sense into this nightmare of a girl.

Ever since they’d coupled up it’s been a fucking rollercoaster. She would push and pull, she’d tell one thing, do another - and then overthink everything and decide based on her insecurities. And somehow, part of him found it oddly amusing. Teasing her, pushing her buttons, rubbing her the wrong way – he enjoyed that little game, even though sometimes it took the best out of him.

Like today.

He got really mad at her for blowing him off. First, last night. Then, this morning. And once again, when he got back from his date.

The date itself wasn’t horrible. It was just boring. Chelsea’s blubber was rather annoying, but he never liked talkative people anyway. He could’ve got past it if she wasn’t this cute and sweet and… _vapid_. It’d be just much easier to call it a day with Kisa since she herself didn’t seem eager to continue whatever it was between them but… next to her, all these girls seemed so flavorless and transpicuous and just plain boring.

And he hated boring.

Lucas snapped himself back into reality as Bobby and Priya met in the stage center to decide who’s going first, boys or girls.

“I never lose, lassie,” He grinned.

“All talk no pants, Bobert,” Priya sniggered. “Show me what you’ve got.”

Lucas rolled his eyes a little, but he was still pleased to see these two getting along: he and Bobby have become close, and he wanted to see him happy. And also, he wanted to see him happy with someone who’s not Kisa.

His memory threw a picture from last night at him, making Lucas’ fists clench on his sides: Kisa’s glistering eyes locked with Bobby’s as their hips meet each other in a dance, and they both gasped.

Even if it was just that, a bit provocative dance, Lucas still wasn’t completely fine with the way Bobby looked at her at that quick moment, and surely, he did not enjoy the way _she_ used baker’s body to release some of her tension.

“Told ye,” Bobby smirked. “I always win.”

Priya poked her tongue out at him before leaning forward and whispering something that colored Bobby’s face red immediately.

“Red is definitely your color, Bobs,” Kisa chuckled, amused, and he rolled his eyes at her.

“Okay, lads, we’re up first,” Bobby jogged back to where other boys were waiting for him.

Kisa felt tension coming from other girls, and her own body stiffened as Gary made his way to the tray and pushed it forward, so it was now just in front of the girls. He grabbed one of the rings and stepped forward.

“Well, this isn’t exactly hard,” He smirked, locking his eyes with Lottie. “Right, darling?”

Gary’s hands pulled her closer as their mouths met, and Lottie’s face was full of relief as if she was scared that he might’ve picked someone else.

They pulled apart, and Gary made his way to Kisa and got on one knee before her.

“I’d marry you,” He put a little ring on her finger, and Kisa smirked at the guy before her. “And I think we all know who I’d pie.”

Gary grabbed one of the pies and walked straight to Marisol.

“This is precious,” Priya howled with laughter. “I wish it wasn’t boys vs girls though,” She winked at Kisa.

Marisol looked absolutely fuming when she cleaned her face with a paper towel, and it sent everyone into another outburst of giggles.

“I love this challenge!” Bobby squealed from across the stage as Rahim made his way to the girls.

He walked up straight to her, and Kisa’s eyes darted to Lucas. He caught her gaze and shrugged.

“I’d be surprised if lads wouldn’t want to snog your face off,” he smirked but his eyes stayed serious.

Rahim’s kiss was sweet and clumsy, and it lasted for just a couple of seconds before he lightly pulled away smiling shyly at her. He chose to marry Priya and pie Lottie, which wasn’t exactly a big surprise after she pied him for Gary.

Bobby was next, and he looked really nervous.

“You know what they say,” He swallowed, fighting back his nervousness. “Shared experience is the key to a good marriage.”

With these words, he stepped forward and stopped right before Kisa.

“Pucker up, buttercup.”

With the force she’d never expected from this sweet baker, Bobby pulled her in and locked their lips before anyone could react.

_Wow._

Her breath stuttered when Bobby’s tongue brushed her lips before he pulled away.

“Lucky girl Priya,” Kisa grinned, and Bobby dropped to one knee before his partner.

He looked uncharacteristically serious, and it was obvious that there’s much more meaning to this moment than just a stupid challenge. Priya’s face was hard to read as she looked down at Bobby. He slowly put the ring on her finger and kissed her knuckles gently, his eyes never leaving hers.

This entire scene looked so emotional and meaningful, Kisa’s eyes started welling up. The way Bobby looked at Priya, the way she looked back at him – Kisa felt like no one ever looked at her like that, no one ever _saw_ her like that. And it was really, really hurtful.

Bobby grabbed one of the pies and threw it straight into Hope’s face without a flicker of hesitation.

“What the fuck?!” She yelped angrily.

“What?” Bobby shrugged innocently. “I’ve just fulfilled Noah’s life-long dream,” He whispered theatrically to Kisa, winking at her.

“You’re out of line!” Hope was furious as she rubbed her face with a paper towel.

“Just following the rules,” Bobby shrugged and jogged back to the boys, followed by amused looks.

Lucas patted Bobby’s back supportively.

“Nice shot, mate,” The older guy said with admiration in his voice. “I wonder if I can repeat your success.”

With a grin, Lucas walked across the stage and stopped before the girls. His posture screamed confidence, and Kisa had no idea how he always managed to look so poised. Right now, she was falling apart at just one thought of him kissing someone else.

_What if his date with Chelsea went so well, he decides to stick with her? What if she told him she’s here for a bit of fun, just like him? What if…_

Before she’d managed to finish her thought, two strong, demanding arms wrapped around her waist. A ragged sigh escaped her mouth when Lucas pulled her in.

“I told you,” His hot breath brushed her cheeks. “I’ll stop only if you tell me to.”

He crashed his lips against her mouth, deepening the kiss immediately. A wave of relief washed over her body as their tongues met, fighting for dominance. Kisa’s hands clenched his back as if she was scared that he might disappear any moment now.

The way he made her feel was dangerous and it had to stop.

With a quiet moan, she pressed herself harder into his body, and he reciprocated her movement immediately, tightening his grip to the point it was almost painful.

“Wow, get in there!” Bobby yelled, clapping his hands together.

They pulled apart, panting, and looked at each other. Lucas’ eyes were still smoldering as he sized up other girls in line. Before long, he stepped towards Lottie and put a ring on her finger.

“I reckon I’d never get bored,” He winked at blonde and reached for one of the pies. “I’ve got two people in mind but…”

He stepped forward and pressed a pie into Hope’s face.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Kisa couldn’t contain laughter, and a moment later almost everyone else joined her.

She felt relieved. He didn’t kiss Chelsea, he still likes her… Kisa had to stop herself. If he actually liked her, he’d be willing to at least try this whole ‘commitment thing’ as he called proper relationship.

_Just because he enjoys this cat-and-mouse play doesn’t mean he actually likes you._

Jakub went next, choosing to snog Priya, marry Chelsea and pie Marisol, and now it was Noah’s turn.

Librarian was looking under his feet as he walked across the stage. For a moment, his gaze fell on Kisa, and her stomach did a backflip: if he kisses her, hell’s going to break loose, and she already had a lot on her plate to deal with that. Before she could freak out completely, he moved past her. Hesitantly, he made his way to Hope and gave her a brief kiss on the lips.

_Yeah, right, as if it’s not Priya he wished he had balls to go for._

Kisa frowned, watching Noah as he put the ring on Priya’s finger, holding her hand for a few moments longer than needed.

_Drama is looming…_

She shook it off and watched Noah as he gently pressed a pie to Marisol’s face.

“Well, at least, you didn’t throw it at me…” She frowned.

“Sorry, I had to do it to someone,” Noah lowered his head. As he walked away, he glanced back, sadly.

“Okay, ladies, now, it’s our turn!”

Hope looked as excited as could be, and it didn’t warm up Kisa’s heart. Today’s been already super weird, and it was barely lunchtime. She couldn’t deal with any more drama, her entire body was against it, and Kisa took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.

She barely registered what was going around her as Lottie and Priya took their turns. Chelsea was up next and kissed Lucas. It was brief and barely passionate, but Kisa’s face still twitched in distaste.

 _She had to kiss someone,_ Kisa tried reasoning with herself. _But that someone happened to be my…_

She tossed her hair over her shoulder, just to snap out of those stupid thoughts – and to watch Marisol as she deliberately made her way to Lucas and pied him right in his face.

“Karma’s a bitch,” Kisa couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “You mugged her – and she pied you.”

“Apparently, karma is also a bit pathetic,” Lucas raised an eyebrow just slightly, not otherwise reacting to huge chunks of cream stuck to his face and chest.

“Kisa, you’re up next,” Priya nudged her, and the younger girl slowly sashayed towards the boys, looking at each of them in turns. “Can’t lie, boys, some of you look just _delicious._ ”

She locked eyes with Lucas and licked her lips. He swallowed hard as she approached him, and her gaze traveled down his chest and back to his face.

“You know, I do love a good cake.”

She had no idea what’s gotten into her. Suddenly, the tables were turned, it was him who was nervous just because of her closeness, and it was she who held the power over him, she just sensed it. She could almost _smell_ his anticipation. Kisa let out a dark chuckle before lowering her head to trace her tongue across his chest, and Lucas’ body trembled at her touch.

Gary wolf-whistled, but Kisa didn’t care right now. She looked up at Lucas, continuing tracing her tongue up his body, and he shuddered when her tongue brushed one of his nipples and then traveled all the way to his neck.

She sucked gently on the pulse point at the junction between his neck and shoulder and he let out a soft moan. His arms snaked around girl’s waist, and Lucas finally closed the space between them with a messy open-mouthed kiss. For a few long moments, all of her doubts just faded away, replaced by this tingling sensation on her skin and little butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

He got her hooked on him, she was an addict, and he was her fix.

_But he doesn’t need to know that._

She pulled away, running her finger down his abs teasingly.

“Plenty is no dainty,” Kisa smirked before stepping back from him and grabbed one of the rings. “I voted for this guy as the most datable, so I’d marry him.”

She stepped closer to Gary and caught his hand into hers.

“You voted for me?” He grinned, studying the girl before him with his bright blue eyes.

“Yup,” She winked at him and grabbed one of two pies that were left. “Sorry, new guy.”

She smashed a pie against Jakub’s face.

“Good one, Kisa,” Priya smirked at her and high-fived the younger girl as she returned back to their half of the stage.

Hope went last, and Kisa couldn’t help but watch Noah’s reaction. His gaze kept darting towards remaining girls, and she finally figured out who he’s been glancing at.

_He wanted to kiss Priya._

_He and Hope have been fighting all day yesterday and I’ve barely seen them together today… what if he wants to pick Priya at the recoupling… what if that’s what he really wanted to talk to her earlier, but just couldn’t gather the courage to?_

She shook her head: besides her sudden gut-feeling, she had no evidence that was the case, and she knew all too well that her gut feeling is just a load of crap.

_It means nothing. It’s just a challenge. Rahim kissed me even though he’s with Marisol, it doesn’t mean he wants to dump her for me._

Finally, Ibrahim’s phone buzzed.

“Oh, wow,” Golf pro frowned. “There’s a recoupling tonight”

He looked up from his phone.

“Boys will be choosing.”


	15. You Smell Like Istanbul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Lay me down  
> And I'll unfold  
> Fall onto the ground  
> Cause I know I'm owned..."
> 
> [Bones - CASHFORGOLD]

“Are you guys nervous?” Ibrahim looked around himself, clearly rattled.

He, Kisa, Bobby, and Gary were hanging out on one of the daybeds, waiting for others to get ready for recoupling. After the challenge, pretty much everyone looked a bit anxious and unsettled, and eager to talk it all over.

“Bricking it,” Bobby admitted, stretching himself out next to Kisa, who was the first girl to get ready, as always.

“What are you talking about?” Gary rolled his eyes. “You’ve got the easiest job to do, after that little proposal moment…” Blond winked at him, and baker blushed.

“I guess,” Bobby glanced at Kisa.

She casually stretched her long legs, studying the hem of her short leather skirt embellished with golden threads. She herself felt anything but confident. Things were too weird with Lucas to make any forecasts, and weirdly, she’d come to terms with it – but it didn’t change the fact that she had no idea what might happen later tonight.

“I thought you’re gonna pick Lottie tonight?” Kisa felt the need to shift the conversation.

Gary frowned just a little before pulling on a slightly unconvincing grin.

“Well, I guess, we’ll have to wait and see about that,” He gave her a cheeky wink. “I have a feeling I’m not the only one who isn’t that certain anyway.”

“Is that so?”

Rahim looked around the lawn to make sure there’s no one else but them and one of the camera guys.

“Jakub and Hope had spent a lot of time together today,” He whispered. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he picked her tonight.”

“Wait, what?” Gary looked genuinely shocked. “For real?”

Bobby’s body stiffened next to her, and Kisa squeezed his hand reassuringly: baker couldn’t miss all those times Noah and Priya accidentally bumped into each other these days, and all those times librarian glanced at her with that unmistakable look in his eyes.

“Just a thought,” Ibrahim shrugged.

Kisa felt a knot tightening slowly in the pit of her stomach. All this recoupling chat was making her head spin, and she needed to somehow fight this feeling back.

“I’m gonna grab a drink,” She looked at the boys. “Any requests?”

Rahim shook his head. Bobby and Gary looked at one another.

“I’ll have what you’re having.”

“Same.”

Kisa nodded and gracefully got up on her feet and straightened her skirt before wandering off towards the kitchen. She really needed a drink right now, and there was nothing better than tequila to calm her down.

_Not knowing where you stand really does a number on your head._

This whole ‘power play’ with Lucas was fun but it made her really wonder how long they would last before one of them caved in. She could only hope it wouldn’t be her, not again. Not after everything she went through with Alex – and after him, for that matter.

Sometimes, she wondered how come she was still on speaking terms with her ex, after everything he’d done to her – and how she let him fill out an application for her.

_I really am a fuck-up._

She could still remember that late February night, when she and Alex were sitting at the table in her kitchen, drinking red wine like they were friends… like he wasn’t the reason she couldn’t bring herself to trust anyone anymore. Maybe, that was her problem – maybe, she was just drawn to pain. Maybe, she just _enjoyed_ this pain.

She grabbed a bottle from the cupboard and unscrewed the lid with her teeth. If she was good at anything, it was bottling up her emotions.

Kisa chuckled to herself and took a long swig straight from the bottle.

“Easy, tiger,” Lucas’ voice coming from behind her back sent shivers down her spine and the next moment his arms wrapped around her waist. “I want you in good shape when I say your name tonight.”

Her heart jumped to her throat, making Kisa almost choke on air.

“What makes you think you’ll get to say my name tonight?” She asked and bent down to grab four shot glasses from the dishwasher.

She could swear she’d heard a quiet curse when her ass pressed against the man behind her, and a little dark chuckle escaped her mouth. Kisa straightened up and started pouring liquor into the glasses.

Lucas’ arms pulled her deeper into him until she could feel almost his entire body with hers, and a large part of her regretted wearing a leather two-piece. This part wished she was wearing one of her silk slip-on's, or, even better, nothing, so she could feel more of him – all of him.

A dozen jolts of electricity rushed through her body before coming together in the core of her existence.

“What makes you think I won’t?” He finally replied with a question and moved his hand from her stomach to grab one of the glasses, lined up on the kitchen counter.

“You never know how things gonna turn out in this place,” She shrugged, wiggling in Lucas’ arms. She twisted her body until she was looking at him and continued. “Most of the guys are worried, that is.”

“I’m not like most of the guys.”

Kisa eyed him up and down as if thinking about this statement.

“I guess you’re not,” She nodded finally. “I’ve never met someone this annoying, and I’ve known a lot of annoying lads.”

She could see the moment a little smile sparkled up in his eyes before moving to his lips. It was almost as if he actually _enjoyed_ the way she talked to him, just as much as she enjoyed pocking at him. And in this way, he wasn’t like the other guys.

Lucas’ hand brushed up her arm and moved to cup her face, and Kisa had to will her body into staying still. Her entire being wanted to lean into this touch and she had to restrain herself, she just couldn’t show him how much she needed this. Just his warm fingers caressing her face softly while his other arm still wrapped tightly around her waist.

“You look hot in leather,” He noted, and his voice went lower.

His eyes went a shade darker as his fingers slowly went from her cheek closer to her mouth, and his thumb brushed across her lower lip.

“I look even better _out_ of leather,” She replied, arching an eyebrow ever so slightly at the man in front of her.

She secretly loved his smoldering look, and right now, she’s been awarded one.

“Get a room, you two,” Gary’s cheerful voice broke their moment, and Kisa looked at the blond. “Figured, we’re never getting those drinks.”

Kisa’s cheeks warmed up as she pushed the glass toward the crane operator, feeling his sizing stare burning at her skin. With a tiny groan that only she could hear, Lucas took a step away from her, grabbed two glasses, and walked over the counter to pass Bobby his drink. She looked around to notice that Rahim and Noah were now together on the daybed and they seemed very deep in a conversation.

“Ugh,” Bobby bottomed his glass and shook his head like a puppy. “Still hate this.”

“The girls are taking forever,” Gary rolled his eyes. “You should teach him your ‘get ready in five seconds’ thing,” He turned to Kisa.

“Impossible. It takes most of them ages to put on their makeup so you boys wouldn’t run for the hills.”

Three pairs of eyes stared at her for a second before everyone erupted into laughter.

“No wonder girls can’t stand you,” Bobby sniggered, looking at Kisa almost admiringly.

“It hurts me deeply,” She grinned back and downed her drink.

Gary’s phone buzzed. Kisa’s stomach dropped, as she watched him reading the text. Recouplings were never easy for her: on the first day, Hope stole Noah from her, then Priya took Bobby, then Rocco picked her, and she mostly hated his guts, especially, when he went on and on with those traveling stories. Then, she picked Lucas even though she knew she should’ve stayed as far away as possible from him, and she felt powerless.

And now, all the power was still in someone else’s hands, and all she could do was to watch the story unfold, wait until someone decides for her. And it wasn’t exactly easy, to feel so powerless, so _not_ in control.

She caught Lucas’ lingering gaze as the boys slowly wandered towards the firepit. He cocked an eyebrow as he moved past her and whispered:

“Your doctor just called, asked me to remind about your appointment later.”

Before she could’ve managed a reply, he was gone. Bobby gave her a weak attempt at a smile before he left her alone in the kitchen.

She didn’t know what to make of Lucas’ decision to pick her at the recoupling. She didn’t know why he was still around, and it was driving her crazy. Kisa had no clue about his motives, and she almost gave up trying to crack him. Almost.

“Hiya,” Priya’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and the green-eyed girl looked up.

“Hey yourself,” Kisa took a long look at her friend. “Are we sure there’s no way for us to just couple up? I really want you in my bed.”

Older girl laughed cheerfully, and Kisa couldn’t help but grin, too.

“You look happy,” She noted.

“I am kind of happy,” Priya admitted. “I guess I’ve finally made up my mind about Bobby. We had a little chat after the challenge and, well, both decided to give this thing between us a proper chance.”

Kisa pulled Priya into a hug. This was great news and she was happy for her Indian beauty, even though the pain inside of her own chest, filled only with uncertainty and past hurts.

A few minutes later, other girls finally sashayed out of the Villa and they all made their way downstairs to meet the boys. Against her will, Kisa’s eyes found Chelsea.

_Lucas said nothing about their kiss during the challenge… why? Is it because he didn’t care, or…?_

She didn’t know what his game was, and slowly, she was going insane over it.

Girls took their places across the firepit from the boys, and she finally looked up from the decking. He was looking at her, with his eyes mirroring the sparks in the firepit. It took her all to just smirk indifferently, even though her insides were doing backflips as his gaze traveled slowly up and down her body, leaving burning trails on her skin.

Priya reached out for Kisa’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, I just know,” Older girl smiled at her. “You’ll see.” Her eyes traveled to Bobby, and she winked at him. “Right, Bob?”

“You know it, lassie.”

Finally, one of the phones beeped, and Jakub got up, looking determined as ever. He grinned at the girls, and Priya rolled her eyes.

“Coming to Love Island has been quite an experience,” Jakub started, glancing at all girls in the line in terms. “As I’ve mentioned during my dates, I like to shake things up, cos I hate getting bored… and frankly, most of the couples here a just that, plain and boring.”

“What’s he getting at?” Lottie whispered.

“I’m going to couple up with this girl cos I’m intrigued by her,” He glanced at Hope and then moved his gaze to Kisa, and her heart dropped.

_If this son of a bitch picks me…_

“Priya.”

For a moment, there was not a single sound. Everything and everyone went completely silent, to the point when Kisa’s ears started ringing. She blinked a few times and looked at the others.

“Have you gone deaf?” Hope prompted. “Get a move, we don’t have the entire night to wait…”

“Put a sock in it, Hope,” Bobby scowled at her suddenly. “What the actual fuck?” He turned to Jakub, his face and neck dark shade of red.

Jakub shrugged not even sparing baker a glance.

“Just playing the game, mate.”

“Don’t I have a saying in this?” Priya exploded. “I knew!” She pointed finger at Hope. “I fucking knew you were scheming behind our backs, but this?!”

“Don’t drag me into this,” Hope huffed. “I don’t see a problem, you and Bobby have been fighting for days anyway, you’re lucky Jakub saved you,” She shrugged.

“You, take it back,” Suddenly, Lottie chimed in. “Your own couple is falling apart, and I’ve got no problem believing you’d asked this beef jerky to pick her so Noah wouldn’t!”

Kisa felt a thousand little needles suddenly pinned into her brain. This entire scene looked like a soap opera episode, and all she wanted right now was to get the hell out of this place.

_Can someone take me away, please?_

Everyone was talking at once, even Lucas, who usually would stay away from any sort of drama, got himself involved somehow. She could feel Bobby’s frustration and Priya’s anger, but in the end, this was a game, and it would’ve been weird if they stayed together from day two all until the end of the show.

Just when she was about to say it out loud, Noah’s phone beeped.

“I, um…” Librarian looked down at his feet before bringing his gaze up. “I must admit the last couple of days weren’t exactly easy. To be honest, I had a lot to think about and… well, none of it matters now…”

“Just pick Hope already and let’s move on from this,” Lucas rolled his eyes.

Kisa glanced at her bitchy physiotherapist, and he sent her an up-nod.

_Well, that was comforting._

Noah glanced at Priya, who took her seat as far from Jakub as possible, her arms crossed over her chest, eyes blazing with fury.

“I thought that tonight was a good night to try something different,” Noah continued, and a few people gasped. “And it still is.” He took a deep breath. “I want to couple up with Kisa.”

Yet another shocked silence fell over the firepit.

“What?!” Hope’s loud yelp almost deafened everyone as she flung herself forward. “What the hell, Noah?!”

As in slow-motion, Kisa watched Hope’s hands slam into the librarian’s chest before Gary caught her into his arms, dragging away from the guy.

“The fuck, mate?” Blond shook his head at the librarian. “I can’t believe, you knew and…” He trailed off, and his cheeks colored red.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Lucas’ voice was dangerously calm.

“Let’s just get this done, okay?” Kisa said firmly as she slowly walked over the firepit to take her seat on the bench next to Noah. “This entire recoupling is shit, and I want it to be over.”

“Oh, really?!” Hope snapped at her. “I hope you’re pleased with yourself,” She hissed. “I know you’ve been trying to turn his head since the first day.”

Kisa rolled her eyes.

“What the hell does it even mean? I did nothing… well, actually, I told him that I don’t want to be with him, before the last recoupling.”

And again, dead silence fell. She caught Lucas’ eyes as he studied her intently as if he saw her clear for the first time. He knew that most of the couples here weren’t a good match and that every guy here – except, maybe, Bobby – wouldn’t mind trying his luck with this girl, but he had no idea that she had Noah as an option but still picked him.

Lucas knew that Hope wasn’t exactly wrong, and Kisa flirted with the librarian whenever she had a chance, at least, in the first days – but he didn’t know that the lad was willing to actually dump Hope for Kisa.

He had to really hold it together: even though deep inside he was raging, he couldn’t let himself slip into a fit of anger, he needed to keep it under control. Lucas glanced at the other boys: Gary looked cross, and Lucas remembered all those weird glances that the crane operator sent his and Kisa’s way. Bobby looked absolutely confused and couldn’t take his eyes off Priya. Only Rahim seemed unfazed and indifferent.

His phone beeped, and Lucas turned to face the remaining girls.

“I want to couple with this girl for the same reason I’ve picked her to marry,” He curled his lips into a tiny grin. “Because it’s gonna be fun. This girl is Lottie.”

The blonde girl smirked at him and took her seat on the bench.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention.”

This recoupling was an absolute disaster, for all of them. Bobby and Priya were the only solid couple up until now, whatever Hope might’ve been telling herself, and now Bobby had to pick someone else.

“It’s alright,” Priya smiled encouragingly. “It’s just until the next recoupling.”

“Oh, please,” Marisol let out a gagging noise. “You’re hardly the new Romeo and Juliet.”

“I didn’t hear anyone asking for your opinion, Marisol,” Kisa noted. “So please, shut it.”

Before this could turn into another bickering, Bobby jumped to his feet and sent Kisa a grateful smile. If she hadn’t been taken, she’d tell him to pick her, and now both she and Lottie were off the plate, and Bobby looked absolutely lost.

“Well, this is a lot of excitement and… I want to couple with this girl because she seems sweet and funny, and I’d like to get to know her better. I think we all understand that this will be more of a friendship couple than a blazing romance one but I’m glad I got to choose this girl. Chelsea.”

“Yay,” Chelsea smiled excitedly. “Thanks, Bobby, I’m glad that you picked me, too,” She gave him a hug, but her gaze traveled to Lucas for a second.

 _Hell to the no_ , Kisa frowned a little.

She didn’t exactly tolerate competition, and now she suddenly had two other potential rivals. Lucas picked Lottie without a flicker of hesitation, just like during the challenge, and they looked pretty decent together. _And it’s not like she and Gary were actually going anywhere._

She’d missed Bobby’s and Rahim’s speeches, and she only caught the moment when Gary glanced at her before turning to Hope, who was just standing there by herself.

“I’m coupling up with this girl because her partner turned out to be a complete prat,” Gary frowned, looking at Noah with a grimace of distaste. “Safe to say, it’s not going to be a romantic couple, but it safe to say none of the current couples are. Hope.”

Hope walked up to Gary and took her seat next to him, throwing glances at Kisa and Noah.

“Are we done yet?” Lucas looked at one of the producers. “I’m not sticking around for any more drama, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, damn right.”

Priya and Bobby got up at the same time and left the firepit together, neither of them looked back at their current partners, and Kisa felt a strange satisfaction with the way Bobby just left the new girl hanging. It was so out of his character and borderline rude, but she was happy that he’d finally sorted his priorities. And also, after that kiss with Lucas, Kisa just couldn’t help but dislike the blonde.

_Speaking of blondes…_

Lucas said something to Lottie and made his way to where Kisa was.

“A word.”

Noah looked up, frowning.

“I’d like to have a word with Kisa, too. Yeah, you were coupled before and I get you’re not happy, but it is what it is.”

Kisa’s eyes widened with anger.

“Well, you two can have words with each other,” She jumped to her feet. “You can square off as much as you like but don’t think that just because we’re coupled up – or were coupled – you get to tell me what to do… And Noah? Just because you picked me tonight doesn’t mean we’re suddenly a couple now. I’m still not interested.”

With her insides boiling, she marched off. She couldn’t tell what’s gotten into her, just a few moments ago she felt so relieves as she saw Lucas making a beeline to her – and now, she was ready to punch a wall.

She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of tequila. Right now, she just couldn’t deal with the shitstorm this recoupling was, and she could already hear Hope and Noah’s loud voices approaching.

Villa was huge but there was no place to hide right now, only the roof terrace, but Kisa was more than positive that Bobby and Priya are already there. Hesitantly, she walked across the lawn and down the stairs, hoping that no one would even think to go searching for her at the gym. She splayed herself on one of the benches and took a long swig from the bottle.

It was dark and quiet there, and Kisa closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the distant voices as the islanders made their way back to the main level.

“Drinking alone in the moonlight?”

She could almost feel his movements as Lucas walked up to her and lowered himself on the bench next to her. His warm thigh brushed her hip, sending little jolts of electricity all over her body. With her eyes still closed, she extended her hand.

“Not anymore.”

He took the bottle from her fingers and took a few large gulps.

“…then I sigh  
for the moon cannot drink,  
and my shadow goes emptily along  
with me never saying a word;  
with no other friends here, I can  
but use these two for company.”

Lucas recited slowly. His voice was soft and quiet, and it made Kisa prop herself up on her elbows. She watched him as he spoke, staring somewhere above as if actually talking to the moon. This was the side of him she’d never seen before – and she doubted that anyone had ever seen this side of him at all.

_How can he be so perfect and so morbidly wrong for me at the same time?_

“Li Po,” Lucas looked down at the girl. “One of the best Chinese poets, he got famous for the fact that his inspiration came to him after drinking.”

He took another swig and passed the bottle back to Kisa.

“Still better than finding inspiration in being sad little shit,” She replied.

Lucas chuckled and shuffled a little as he curled himself next to her, resting his head on her thighs.

“Do I look like a pillow to you?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” He replied, tracing his fingers up and down her leg. “You smell like Istanbul, you know?”

“This is the weirdest thing you’ve ever told me.”

Kisa felt him shrug as the dark-haired man continued.

“You smell like leather, and spices, and some sort of flowers, and simit.”

His soft touches and quiet voice, the moonlight, and tequila, her fears, and desires – everything mingled together in a large multicolored ball of energy inside of her stomach. Almost unconsciously, she pushed her fingers into his gelled hair, massaging his scalp gently while his hand slid under her knee to make her bent her leg. Now, his fingers caressed her calves, still carefully but with more meaning.

_Why am I resisting?_

She came here to win her bet with Alex, to bring attention to her band – not to find love. So why is she struggling so much to just let herself go and have a bit of fun? Why is she so afraid of breaking her heart if it’s been broken from the start anyway?

Kisa extracted her fingers from his hair to trace across his broad shoulders and down his arm, feeling his skin prickle with goosebumps. Feathery soft, he put his lips to her skin, dragging his mouth slowly across her thigh, and it was enough for her heart to pick up the pace.

She almost let out a moan of disappointment when he suddenly lifted himself up, and his lips left her skin.

Her eyes snapped open to see where he’d gone just to see his face right above her own.

“It’s probably tequila talking,” He said slowly, lowering himself to kiss the girl’s neck. “But you look fuckin amazing in the moonlight.”

A sigh escaped her mouth when he sucked the sensitive skin in the hollow of her collarbone into his mouth. It was hard to focus on anything else but the sensations of his wet tongue tracing patterns on her skin, and his hot, firm body balancing just inches above her, heat radiating even through layers of fabric. Carefully, as of tasting the waters, she slipped her hands under his shirt and raked her fingers up his back with just enough pressure to make his body shiver under her touch.

Slowly, _deliberately_ , his mouth traveled down her chest, brushing against the leather fabric of her bralette before moving down her naked stomach.

“Do you know that your skin looks like silver in this light?” He whispered against her lower stomach, lips moving against her skin.

“Are you trying to steal Li Po’s fame?” She breathed out, and Lucas chuckled softly as he continued moving down her body.

His hands kneaded the muscles of her thighs and legs, melting away the tension buildup that seemed like it’s been there for ages. He shuffled further down until he was standing on his knees by the end of the bench.

His hand caught her foot gently, helping it slip out of the shoe. Her body went still when his lips brushed against the arch of her sole and then moved slowly up her ankle and to her calf, leaving a trail of kisses burning at her skin. He moved achingly slow, almost purposelessly, as if his mouth didn’t have a final destination.

A million thoughts suddenly rushed through Kisa’s head, almost knocking her down. What if he doesn’t stop? What if she doesn’t stop? How far she’s willing to go? How far he’s willing to push her?

Lucas felt her body stilling and looked up at her, trying to read her face.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked almost gently, his tongue circling the inner side of her thigh.

It was almost sick, how he couldn’t really stop. Time after time, he kept pushing her boundaries, and he had to admit it wasn’t _just_ because he wanted to see her as she submits to him. A part of him was just unable to stop wanting her, seeing her come undone quickly became a guilty pleasure of his, the one he couldn’t give up on.

Even now, giving her a chance to back out, he was silently praying for her not to. If she did say ‘yes’, he would’ve actually died, he just knew.

“No,” She moaned softly, tangling her fingers through his hair.

If this was anyone else, he’d already pinned her hands above her head... but it was her, and he just hummed against the warm skin of her inner thigh, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin mixed with soap and arousal.

He had to bite hard on his tongue not to say any more corny shit. He honestly didn’t know where those lines came from – because those weren’t lines at all. She did smell like one of his favorite cities, and her skin was so fair it was glowing and sparkling under the moonlight, and she looked like a fucking goddess.

Lucas could hear some distant voices, but he doubted that anyone would come searching for them here – at least, he hoped they won’t.

He lifted one of her long, perfect legs over his shoulder and looked up at her, searching for a consent. If her skin wasn’t so fair, he wouldn’t have been able to make out her face in the dim moonlight, and he wondered if she could actually see him watching her. Wordless, she pushed his head down to where she needed him, and that was all the consent he needed from her right now.

His teeth found a spot at the junction between her thigh and hip and sunk into her skin, drawing a ragged breath out of her mouth mixed with a hiss. Her hips bucked. And he couldn’t help a smirk that stretched his lips.

“Wipe off that grin,” Her voice was husky and full of lust, and it went straight into his jeans, making him even harder than before.

Instead of an answer, his hands found her hips and pulled her closer, and found the waistband of her lace underwear. It was her - silk, leather, and lace, somehow, any time he thought of her, these three words came to his mind. She was a mix of things that don’t usually go together, vulnerability and fierceness, fire and ice, devotion and distrust, darkness, and a desperate want to find the light.

She was all those things – and neither of those things, and she was driving him wild.

With a low, throaty groan he yanked the underwear down her legs and licked a stripe against her. She was so hot and wet and ready for him, his dick was throbbing as his tongue circled slowly around her sensitive bud. She arched up, and he had to move his hand and press below her bellybutton to restrain her movements.

Somehow, this was almost better than if he got to fuck her. He wouldn’t admit it even to himself, but he wanted to gain her trust, he wanted her to let her defenses down, and that was his way of showing her she could do so.

She propped herself up on her elbows and was now watching his head as it moved between her legs, and his dark hair made such a bright contrast with her milky-white skin, it somehow made the whole scene almost surreal.

She knew he hated when someone touched his hair, and so she slipped her fingers through his gelled strands, controlling his movements, feeling the need to see how he pushes his own comfort aside, for her.

He needed to be in control, that stupid ‘hair rule’ was the brightest example, and him, willingly knuckle down to her, was the hottest thing she’d ever seen. His tongue slid inside of her, and it kicked the air out of her chest, making her eyes roll back.

Finally, he removed his hand from her belly so she could move freely, and her hips bucked into his touch as two of his fingers slid inside of her. A loud, desperate moan escaped her lips and went directly into his cock, drawing a groan out of Lucas, too. Before her, he didn’t even know that it was possible to get off by getting off someone else, but here he was, groaning his own pleasure as his fingers fucked her slowly.

“Swear to god,” She blurted in between her moans. “If you drive your motorbike with the same speed…” Her breath stuttered when his tongue moved in little controlled movements directly over her clit and his fingers curled inside of her.

She flopped down on her back, and her hands grabbed at the bench, as she started clenching around his fingers. It was way too much, he was achingly hard, and if it was anyone else, he’d already fuck her senselessly. But instead, he willed his body to shut up and focused on her moans as they became louder and louder with every thrust of his fingers, every flicker of his tongue

She was so perfect right now, withering under his touches, getting higher and higher, and for just a second, he had to stop to burn this image of her onto his brain.

“Fuck,” He groaned, adding a third finger, and her hand clenched on his shoulder as she clamped down on his fingers hard, sucking them even deeper inside of her.

Her pleasure consumed him completely, kicking the air out of his chest, making him gasp as he slowed down the movements of his tongue, drawing out her orgasm. She was pulsing all around him, he could feel her everywhere, with every little nerve of his body, as if somehow, she just sunk under his skin and exploded there with a million of pretty lights.

“I’m getting used to our little sessions, Dr. Koh,” She whispered in between her uneven breaths.

_Me too._


	16. Ladders of Love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter one, but I wanted it to be a separate chapter, just to set up the stage for all the drama that is coming our way😈

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...I'm thinking it over  
> The way you make me feel all sexy but it's causing me shame  
> I wanna lean on your shoulder  
> I wish I was in love but I don't wanna cause any pain..."
> 
> [Waiting Game - Banks]

Something pulled Kisa out of sleep, and she jerked awake, hitting Priya accidentally.

“Ouch,” Priya’s voice sounded muffled from beneath the cover. “What was that for?”

“Sorry,” Kisa sat up on the daybed, rubbing her eyes. “Something woke me up.”

Priya’s head peaked from under the covers, and the older girl gave her a suspicious look.

“And that’s why you decided to wake _me_ up by bruising my leg?”

“Oh, give over,” Kisa rolled her eyes and rolled over onto her stomach and rested her forehead against Priya’s shoulder. “How did you sleep?”

Priya’s fingers snaked through Kisa’s hair, playing aimlessly with the soft messy curls. Surely, she didn’t sleep well, and not just because the green-eyed girl was a very aggressive sleeper. She couldn’t fall asleep for hours, just laying on a daybed, listening to Kisa’s breath, and thinking about Bobby who stayed in the bedroom, sharing once their bed with Chelsea.

After the disaster recoupling, Priya and Bobby had a chat in which baker asked her to stay together – even if unofficially – until the end of the show and give them a chance as a couple. It almost sounded like he asked her to be his girlfriend, and part of her was absolutely freaked out.

But there was another part that felt like she suddenly learned how to fly. Bobby’s stuttering breath, and his slightly shaking fingers, and his bright red cheeks – everything in him made her heart flutter when he reached to kiss her.

She couldn’t tell for sure how much time they’d spent at the roof terrace before heading downstairs. And that was when shit hit the fan, again, when Jakub decided to have a chat with her…

“You okay?” Kisa noticed that Priya suddenly went uncharacteristically quiet and nudged her gently on a shoulder.

“Yeah,” Older girl nodded, stretching her arms. “Just remembered last night.”

“Oh, that,” Kisa sat up and kicked the duvet down her legs. “I didn’t think Bobby had it in him. I was so sure he’d just explode, and we’ll spend next two days scratching him from the walls.”

Priya barked with laughter.

“That image’s gonna hunt me for days.”

They both were ready to get up when Kisa spotted a long-stem red rose and a piece of paper on the decking next to the daybed.

“Hey,” Priya bent down on her side and grabbed another piece of paper and Bobby’s famous cupcake pajama pants. “What the…”

Kisa showed her find to the older girl and they both stared at each other.

“Well, it’s barely nine in the morning but things are already kind of weird,” Kisa looked down at the note. “Oh, wow.”

“All the boys had left,” Priya frowned. “And producers didn’t let them wake us up.”

Kisa read the note: just two lines, three short sentences, but it made her stomach clench.

_I was wrong. Being coupled up with Lottie isn’t that fun after being coupled with you._

_P.S.: careful with the rose, it’s just like you._

Kisa bent down to pick up the flower and hissed in pain, as a sharp thorn pierced through her skin.

“What, what is it?” Priya looked at her with a worried expression, tears glistering in her eyes.

“Nothing… are you crying?!”

“It’s fucking Bobby,” Older girl sniffed gently, nodding at the note in her fingers. “Motherfucker knows how to turn a girl into a complete melt.”

Relieved, Kisa laughed. Priya looked absolutely smitten, and somehow, it made Kisa herself feel a bit better. Lucas’ note left more questions than answers, and it wasn’t really romantic… It was him, actually: a bit sarcastic, a bit playful, a bit cryptic – and absolutely annoying.

“So,” Kisa finally got up and extended her hand to help Priya to her feet. “If boys are gone, does it mean… we’re getting a bunch of new hot guys?”

***

It was quite a calm morning considering that everyone was upset with everyone. Priya couldn’t stop throwing spiteful glances at Hope, Hope tried burning holes in Kisa, Kisa couldn’t help but think about Lucas and Lottie spending a night in the same bed, and Chelsea’s eyes wouldn’t stop wandering between Kisa and Lottie. Marisol was just her usual dead-fish charismatic self.

By the end of breakfast, Kisa was fed up with it. She grabbed her guitar and did just one thing that she knew was the best way to diffuse the tension – she sang.

At first, she was just threading the strings gently, humming under her breath, and then Priya joined her by the pool and asked to play one of those sappy romantic songs – and before long, all other girls joined them. Marisol and Hope hung a bit back but were still within the earshot, and Lottie and Chelsea took the opportunity to use Kisa’s mellow mood to turn her into their own personal jukebox.

“It’s a TV-show, not a summer camp,” one of the producers scowled.

‘It doesn’t mean we can’t have a fucking thirty-minute break,” Priya retorted. “Either this or I’ll just slap Hope, you can choose.”

“New boys will be here in twenty minutes. Don’t welcome them with Kumbaya, that’s all I’m asking.”

Kisa rolled her eyes and put her guitar down.

“Sorry, Gia, we’re not welcomed here,” She whispered dramatically.

“Did you name your guitar?” Lottie looked almost amused. “I name all my crystals, can I borrow Gia for my Labradorite sphere?”

Hope grimaced at them from her lounger.

“Crystal naming… that’s just riveting.”

“Oh, so maybe you’d rather talk about your scheming with that fucking Hulk?” Priya snapped immediately. “Don’t think that just because we can’t prove anything, people on the outside don’t know what you’ve been up to…”

_And here we go again._

With a heavy heart, Kisa left the girls and followed one of the producers to the Beach Hut.

**Hello, Kisa. How do you feel about last night’s recoupling?**

“Angry. Jakub picked Priya, and Noah picked me, and it was a disaster.”

**We’d noticed that you and Lucas spent some time together after recoupling. Are you still secretly together?**

“Out of everyone in the Villa he’s the only guy I like. We… we did spend some time together last night but I still… I don’t know where we stand.”

**Are you excited to see the new boys?**

“I am. Most of the girls here are now basically single, and having all these new guys will, hopefully, ease up the tension.”

**Do you think you’ll stay loyal to your partner?**

“My current partner is Noah who knows that I don’t fancy him. So no, staying loyal to him isn’t my intention.”

**What about Lucas? Do you think both of you will stay loyal to each other?**

“I don’t know Lucas well enough to make such predictions… And as for me, I haven’t seen the new boys to know for sure. I like Lucas but… maybe there’s someone else who’s a better fit for me? Or maybe, not.”

**Thank you, you can leave now.**

_Well, that wasn’t painful at all._

Kisa left the Beach Hut and stumbled immediately into Chelsea. The younger girl glanced up at her with a look of light horror in her eyes, and Kisa tilted her head to side, looking straight into the blue eyes. Chelsea let out a quiet gasp and forced a smile.

“Oh, hey, they’d asked me to do a quick hook-up before the new boys are here.”

“I figured,” Kisa nodded slightly. “They mostly asked about the recoupling and if I plan to stay loyal. To _Lucas._ ”

“Oh,” Chelsea’s face flushed red. “Um, so, you’re guys still a thing then?”

Kisa leaned forward, bringing her face closer to blonde.

“I think Lucas made it very clear, _who_ is the only girl in this Villa that he fancies.”

With these words, she spun round on her heel and left. Kisa knew exactly what she was doing – scaring the competition off – and she felt almost sick with herself for that. This wasn’t her.

She doesn’t get jealous of guys who don’t belong to her. She doesn’t get possessive over someone who told her that he doesn’t want anything serious from the start.

It’s just not who she is.

He’d changed her.

Kisa caught a glimpse of her own reflection as she walked past the mirrored wall and stopped dead. She couldn’t recognize the girl looking back at her. That girl had the same thick dark-brown, almost black, hair, long eyelashes, and deep-green eyes... and yet, she was a stranger.

_It’s not me… I don’t even like him that much, what the fuck is wrong with me?_

“Hiya,” Priya waved her over from the kitchen the moment Kisa strolled out of the Villa. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much. They just wanted to do a quick interview before the new guys swooped in. “Chelsea’s there right now.”

Priya frowned a bit, glancing at Kisa.

“Yeah, that girl.”

Kisa shook her head: she didn’t want to talk about Chelsea, or about the fact that she fancies Lucas – but above all, she didn’t want to talk about the physio.

_He’s at Casa Amor now, surrounded by six girls desperate to get into the main Villa. And even if it wasn’t about the game, they’d still be all over him. The last thing he thinks about is me._

Kisa’s phone beeped, and she let out a sigh of relief.

“Do the honors,” She smirked at Priya.

“Guys! Kisa’s got a text!”

When everyone gathered in the kitchen, Kisa read the text.

“Time to meet the boys.”

They all moved to the lawn, and Priya squeezed Kisa’s hand nervously.

“Are you nervous?” Kisa leaned closer in to whisper. “Why?”

“I really don’t know. It’s just all happening so fast… last night, me and Bobby…” Priya’s face flushed red, and Kisa’s eyes went wide. “And he asked to stay together, officially or not.”

“That sounds pretty serious.”

“I know,” Priya nodded. “But now he’s gone… what if Bobby thinks I might get together with one of these new guys?”

“I’m sure Bobby knows you well enough not to make assumptions,” Kisa gently caressed her thumb across the older girl’s cheek. “Just try to have some fun, you’ll see Bobby again soon.”

Priya pulled Kisa in, wrapping her arms tightly around Kisa’s waist. They stayed like that until finally one of the producers appeared, accompanied by two cameramen.

“What is this?” He tutted. “The boys are here, act excited,” He looked pointedly at Kisa. “At least, don’t look like you might stub one of them.”

With an eye-roll so hard her head hurt Kisa pulled on a little smile that never touched her eyes. A few minutes later, they finally heard it: footsteps and men’s voices.

“Oh em gee, this is happening!” Chelsea yelped excitedly, and Kisa felt her heart going faster.

_I wonder if our boys had already met those new girl..._

She slightly frowned. _Our boys?_

Six men walked up to them, smiling and flexing their muscles subtly as if giving the girls a chance to take a better look at them. Kisa’s eyes traveled from one new guy to another as they introduced themselves. Finally, there was only one boy left.

“Hell, he’s hot,” Lottie whispered loudly. “What’s your name, babes?”

“It’s Kassam,” A tall, slender guy with ink-black hair stepped forward, covering his eyes from the sun with his palm. “Though one of you knows me as an awkward neighbors’ nephew who can’t shut up about being the first world-known Arabic DJ.”

Kassam’s eyes have finally found Kisa’s, and she slowly took a step forward, still unsure how to react.

“Qasim?”

“Had to change the spelling but… in a flesh, Ya Helo.”

* * *

_Qasim_ is the original Arabic name, Kassam is one of the spelling variations, which comes more easily to English-speaking folks. And in reality, it doesn't exactly mean 'king', actually, I've never come across this meaning before the game.

In variations, it differs from 'lovely' to 'destiny maker' and 'divider', so maybe 'king' is also somewhere xD

ya helo means literally 'my beautiful'


	17. Kingdom of Hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “... Lives for the memory  
> A woman who's just in his head  
> And she sleeps in his bed  
> While he plays pretend  
> So pretend...”
> 
> [She - Harry Styles]

“This Homecoming party is just ridiculous,” Marisol huffed as she watched Kisa and Kassam share a long, warm embrace. “What is this, a Reunion Island?”

Kisa pulled away and gave Kassam a cheeky wink.

“Well, this is Marisol. I call her Dead Fish because she has a personality of one.”

“We all know how everyone calls _you_ ,” Hope chimed in.

“Yeah, we _all_ know,” Graham nodded. “About many things.”

Priya stepped forward and sent the boys one of her breath-taking smiles, catching everyone’s attention immediately.

“I think we should all sit down and get to know each other.”

“She’s right,” Jamie, a tall, dark-haired man with a Greek god body sent her a flirtatious smile. “No need to get straight into drama just yet.”

Kisa spotted Lottie as the blonde girl made a beeline for Kassam, and Kisa couldn’t ignore the fact that those two already looked really hot together. In the last few days, Lottie had opened up from a different side, and Kisa had to admit that the witch wasn’t half as bad as she thought her to be.

She remembered Kassam, just the way he described himself: a bit awkward, a tad annoying, and really passionate about music. They used to hang out when she visited her grandparents in Dubai, and that was pretty much everything that she remembered about this guy.

Chelsea’s phone buzzed, and she almost dropped it, rushing to read the text.

“Please gather at the firepit for a game of Truth or Dare.”

“Oh, I hope they got some good questions,” Elijah smirked at Chelsea, and she went bright red under his stare.

_Someone’s got over Lucas pretty fast._

Kisa had to clench her fists, until her nails dug deep into her palms, distracting herself with pain. Her plan was to go through the next few days without thinking about the physiotherapist, by all means. She threw her arm around Priya’s shoulders and bumped the older girl with her hip.

“Hey, someone’s feeling cheeky,” Priya grinned at her. “Any fanny flutters yet?”

Kisa stared at her.

“A what now?”

“Keep up with the lingo, old biddy,” Priya stuck her tongue out.

“Are you even speaking English?” Kisa rolled her eyes in exaggerated frustration, but a tight knot in her stomach loosened just a little.

Kassam caught up to them and nudged Kisa gently on a shoulder.

“Oh, hey,” She smiled at him, without realizing what she’s doing. “I can’t believe, we’re both here.”

“How exactly do you guys know each other?” Priya’s eyes darted between the two of them.

“My uncle and his wife used to live in the same building with Kisa’s grandparents,” Kassam explained. “She used to spend her summers there, and I just lived there… for a few years. When I turned eighteen, I moved to Newcastle.”

“Oh, hold on… I think I remembered you now, I’ve heard one of your tracks, trap with, like, Arabic tunes, right?”

Kassam nodded and looked at Kisa.

“I know you have a band now. I’m following you guys on Spotify, you’ve got millions of new listeners in these past two weeks.”

“Really?” She couldn’t hide a happy smile as it stretched her lips uncomfortably.

This was the reason she came here, not just her stupid bet with Alex. Sometimes, she regretted that they weren’t allowed to talk to people on the outside: she really wished she could just rub her success into her ex’s face.

“You two should do a session together,” Priya slightly bumped Kisa’s hip. “Before you guys arrived, Kisa played us a few songs. I think it’d be cool to have a relaxed night, with no drama and some acoustic music.”

Kassam’s bright blue eyes twinkled with mischief.

“What do you say?”

Kisa tapped her nose with her forefinger.

“No drama at all sounds dull,” She smirked. “But I can never say ‘no’ to music.”

Finally, she could just talk to a guy without overthinking every single word. Kassam carried that sense of familiarity and comfort, even though they hadn’t seen each other for almost ten years. She could just talk to him, without flirting or hiding her true feelings, and it was like a breath of cool, fresh air on a hot afternoon.

As they all settled on the bench around the firepit, Marisol spotted two stacks of cards sitting on a small table.

“I’ll go first,” She grabbed one of the ‘Dare’ cards. “Oh, okay. It says: “demonstrate your favorite sex position on the fittest guy.”

“Well, they don’t mess around,” Graham smirked.

“Good thing you approve,” Marisol stopped in front of him followed with wolf-whistles and a scatter of applause.

 _She’d be so hot if she wasn’t such a snakey bitch,_ Kisa thought to herself, watching Marisol as she straddled poor fisherman. Graham’s fair skin flushed red, but he looked rather excited by the time law student climbed off of him.

Ginger chose ‘truth’ and went on about the weirdest place he had sex for almost five minutes.

“Okay, can we get another speaker,” Priya finally lost it. “Kassam, take a turn.”

Lottie shot her a glance, but Priya just shrugged, leaning against Kisa’s shoulder.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to share my dirty past with y’all yet,” Kassam picked one of the ‘Dare’ stack cards and read: “Describe the sexiest part of the most attractive girl, and then, others will try to guess who you’d just described.”

With a glimpse of a mischievous smile in his eyes, DJ looked at each girl in turn and then averted his gaze to keep the suspense going.

“I think the sexiest part of anyone’s body is their eyes, after all, eyes really are the window to one’s soul. And in this girl’s eyes, I can see the entire world. When you look at her face, her eyes are the first thing you notice, they allure you to get closer, to try and figure her out… She’s got the eyes of a witch.”

“A witch? That must be Lottie,” Chelsea whispered dramatically, and goth’s lips curled into a little smile.

“I don’t think that’s right,” Jamie shook his head.

“Yeah, I’m with you on that,” CJ, a guy who looked like Noah’s younger brother, agreed.

Priya nudged Kisa gently.

“That must be you.”

“The girl isn’t wrong,” Kassam smirked. “When we were younger, my aunt used to tell me to watch out for you, she was absolutely certain you’ll drag me into your web and eat me alive.”

Kisa caught his smiling gaze and laughed softly. She remembered his aunt, she always treated her with a hint of suspicion whenever she came round their place – but Kisa always thought it was mostly because her husband couldn’t stop staring at the neighbors’ underage granddaughter.

“Now, it’s Kisa’s turn,” Elijah prompted. “Pick a dare, let’s get this rolling!”

Kisa caught Lottie’s glance: blonde looked more sad than annoyed or frustrated, and Kisa remembered her words about never being treated well. Kassam – at least, how Kisa remembered him – was the ultimate good guy. A bit awkward and nerdy, and definitely not smooth around girls, but also really nice and easy to get on with.

_They do look decent together, don’t they?_

Kisa reached out to the stack of cards and picked the one from the ‘Truth’ deck.

“If you got to have a threesome with people in this villa, who would you do it with and why?” She read. “Well, it’s dead simple. Surely, it’d be this one, because of obvious reasons” She elbowed Priya not so gently. “And, probably, Jamie, he seems eager to please.”

Jamie sent her a grin.

“Always at your service.”

Kisa watched the game for a few more turns. Lottie gave Kassam a lap dance, Priya kissed CJ’s neck, and Hope and Carl had a very awkward moment when Carl had to write a message on Hope’s back.

_Probably, the other villa is doing the same right now._

She couldn’t help but wonder what Lucas did for both of his dares – she knew for sure he wouldn’t pick truth, not even for fifty grand. _Apparently, I just have a thing for emotionally unavailable men._

Kisa could barely keep up with the game as some people gave her backrubs and kisses, and she didn’t care about any of them. Her mind kept drifting, throwing images of Lucas having fun in another villa, with all those new low-end girls… She shouldn’t have been thinking about it right now, Lucas did not belong to her, she had no reason to wonder what he was thinking about at that moment – and if he’s been thinking about her.

Priya finished telling about the last time she “got up to something naughty in public” and nudged Kisa.

“You’re up next.”

It was tempting to pick the truth again, but Kisa grabbed a card from the ‘Dare’ pile.

“Lightly trace your finger over one of the boys’ lips while looking him in the eyes for ten seconds.” She cocked her eyebrows. “Wow, these dares are getting stranger and stranger… Well, someone can start counting.”

She turned to Kassam and locked their eyes. His pupils grew wider as Kisa slowly moved her hand to his face and started tracing her thumb gently across his lips. She could feel his light fresh breath on her fingertips when his lips curled into a little shy smile, and Kisa couldn’t help but smile back.

Sudden laughter made them both jerk apart, and Kassam looked at Graham with a mixed look.

“What? Why aren’t you guys counting?”

“We _were,”_ Priya chimed in.

“And then, we said ‘stop’ how many, three times?” Graham looked utterly amused.

Hope’s phone beeped suddenly.

“Girls, it’s time for you to show new boys around the Villa. Please, split into pairs and get to know each other.” Hope linked her arm with Carl’s. “Let’s start with the pool.”

“Hope wastes no time,” Priya rolled her eyes before turning to Jamie. “Alright, lover, you’re with me for now.”

With a corner of her eye, Kisa spotted Lottie as she walked straight up to Kassam.

“Hey, need a tour guide around this place?”

“I, erm…” DJ looked at Kisa, conflicted.

“It’s fine,” She shrugged. “That text said: ‘get to know each other’, and you already know me pretty well.”

She got up and nodded to CJ, agreeing to pair up with him for the sake of the challenge or whatever this weird situation was. Lottie dragged Kassam away, and Kisa let out a soft sigh: at least, she avoided the drama that’d absolutely kicked off if Lottie didn’t get what she wanted.

Walking CJ around the villa was a tough job. He wouldn’t shut up for a minute and was clearly determined to make an impression – unfortunately, not a good one. Bored and tired, Kisa could only clench her jaw tighter so she doesn’t go off on him. They moved past Marisol and Graham, and Kisa caught ginger’s appraising look. She arched her eyebrow at him, and the fisherman smirked subtly.

_Should’ve taken him from Dead Fish._

“Hey, I wanna check out the bedroom,” CJ wrapped his arm around Kisa’s shoulders, and it almost threw her over the cliff.

She shook his arm off and looked him dead in the eye until he stepped back, averting his gaze, and they went upstairs in uneasy silence.

“Oy, ya helo,” Kassam almost rocketed off the bed the moment he spotted Kisa.

Lottie rolled her eyes and slowly walked up to them.

“What does it mean?” She crossed her arms over her chest, staring at Kassam.

“It means that she looks good,” Blue eyes found evergreen, and Kisa felt an urge to smile at the DJ.

“Just good?” Kisa chuckled. “Well, don’t spare my feelings, _mon choupinou_.”

Kassam sniggered, staring at her in disbelief.

“I can’t believe you’d remembered that,” He looked deeply into her eyes, as if for the first time since their unexpected reunion he really saw her, not this slightly spikey girl next door, but the woman she’d become.

CJ shuffled on a spot and glanced at Lottie with a look of uncertainty in his eyes.

“Hey, do you want to grab some drinks from the kitchen?”

Villa’s witch-in-residence cast a look at Kassam and he shrugged.

“I’ll stay here, I think I’ve spotted Kisa’s guitar and wanted to ask if I could borrow it.”

When the others were gone, Kisa flopped on one of the beds and patted the space next to her. All beds were freshly made and haven’t been assigned yet, but she still avoided the bed she’d been sharing with Lucas for the last few days. She wasn’t going to think about _not her_ physio, she refused to care how many girls he’s going to hook up with or which one of them he’ll decide to bring back with him.

“Hey,” Kassam rolled onto his side, resting his chin on his hand.

“Hey,” Kisa sighed and mirrored his pose. “You’re here.”

“It’s crazy, innit?”

Kassam studied her face for a few long moments, and Kisa felt her cheeks heating up slowly under the intense stare of summer-skies blue eyes. He was different from how she’d remembered him: more confident, less awkward, way better at wearing masks… It’s been almost ten years, they both had changed. He, probably, remembered her a little sarcastic and hot-headed for a girl but definitely not reserved and distrustful, and so full of shit one could open a shit museum with it.

“It is,” She finally nodded. “Have you been watching the show so far?”

“I had to. Once I saw your photo on their Instagram, I knew it’d be interesting to watch.”

Kisa rolled her eyes.

“Right, as if I’m the one who’s constantly stirring up the pot.”

“You _are_ the pot,” Kassam grinned. “But seriously, when they told me I’m going to be one of the Casa guys, I considered backing out, but then I found out you’ll be here… and, well, now, we’re both here.”

Suddenly, he went serious.

“I’m really sorry about your grandparents.”

Kisa’s heart sunk at the reminder, and she just nodded, fighting back the tears. Up until now, she couldn’t think about the day she lost them.

“You never came back after that,” Kassam added quietly. “I asked my uncle for your parents’ number, but he said he didn’t have it.”

“You did?”

“You just disappeared, and I…” He let the rest of the sentence hang in the air, shaking his head just slightly. “I’ve heard your band before, actually, I’ve been following your Spotify for the last two years – but I never knew it was _your_ band, until Love Island.”

“So, you’ve been secretly fangirling me all this time?” Kisa smirked teasingly.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Oh, c’mon! We both know, you’re waiting for a moment to ask me to sign your chest!”

Kassam threw his head back, caught in a fit of laughter, and Kisa joined him a moment after.

“You’re so smug,” He cocked an eyebrow, and before she could react, techno DJ was already towering above her, fingertips poised for punishment. “I wonder if you’re still ticklish.”

“I’m no..ugh!”

Kisa couldn’t finish her sentence, as Kassam ran his fingers up and down her sides, making her laugh uncontrollably – and for the first time in a very long time, absolutely genuinely. She tried to escape, but he grabbed both of her wrists with one hand, pinning her hands to bed above the girl’s head.

“Are you ready to beg for mercy?” Man asked her with a devilish smile, and Kisa shook her head vigorously.

“Never!”

“Well then…”

He threw one leg over Kisa’s knees and doubled his efforts, drawing little snorts of laughter out of this ‘too cool to even smile’ girl. Even though her body tensed as she tried to writhe free, Kisa felt the moment when the heavy feeling in her chest left her body, and how the knot in the pit of her stomach untied.

“Alright, I call a truce!”

Her face was wet with tears, her cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and she could swear that she had a real workout, judging by the way her stomach tensed as if she’d done some sit-ups. Kassam released her from his grip and flopped on his back, smiling.

“You know, what?’

“What?”

“I’m glad you’re here.”


	18. Make Me Feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎵Kisa plays: I like the devil - Purity Ring  
> 🎵Kassam and Kisa sing: Ayo Technology - Milow

_I need a drink._

With this thought, Kisa grabbed her guitar and went downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. Priya was still at the Beach Hut, and the green-eyed girl got nothing else to do but to wait for her in a welcoming company of tequila. She didn’t bother with salt or lime, and she wouldn’t bother with a glass be it later in the night when she didn’t risk running into one of the producers.

Just when she was ready to bottom her glass for the third time, Lottie crept into the kitchen.

“Hey,” Blonde witch walked over the counter. “Can we have a chat?”

Kisa arched an eyebrow slightly, poured a second glass of tequila, and slid it into Lottie’s hand.

“Yeah, sure,” She shrugged.

They weren’t exactly friends – or friendly – so it made sense for Lottie to be a little wry around the older girl. Kisa spotted one of the cameramen creeping closer to them and mentally rolled her eyes.

“It’s about Kassam,” Lottie took a long swig, coughed, and put the half-empty glass back on the counter.

“Oh?”

Surely, Kisa was well-aware that blonde had her eye on the DJ since the moment she saw him, everyone knew it, including Kassam himself.

“Would you speak normally, please?” Lottie tutted, irritated.

“Would you already ger to your point, please?” Kisa retorted.

_That’s the reason other girls don’t befriend you. They just can’t be fucking straightforward._

Kisa took a deep breath, calming herself down to a point when she could just listen to whatever gibberish Lottie had to say. Usually, Kisa just ignored her and walked off avoiding scandals, but now there was no escape, so she just braced herself for five minutes of ‘you’re a bitch ho’.

“I know that you and Kassam know each other from childhood or whatever. And I saw the way you were with him earlier, I know you have an eye on him.”

“What?” Kisa frowned. “We used to be friends ten years ago. Just because I was happy to see him doesn’t mean I suddenly…”

She cut herself short. She went straight into defense mode over nothing, and it was absolutely pointless and completely unnecessary. It wasn’t Kisa’s problem - whatever Lottie had imagined in that little head of hers – so why should she defend herself or give any explanations?

“This is Love Island. We compete to get the guy we want. If you don’t like competition – drop out.”

“I fucking knew it,” Lottie grimaced. “So, what, now you decided to steal Kassam, too?”

“Steal? He’s not a fucking lipstick.”

“First, you took Rocco, then, Noah, and now…”

“Are you delusional?” Kisa lowered her voice to almost a hiss as she continued, staring into Lottie’s eyes, generously lined with black shadows. “Rocco picked me. And then, Noah picked me, too. It came out of nowhere in both cases, even if you like to think otherwise.”

Kisa felt a hot coil spiraling in the pit of her stomach. Today went surprisingly well, even with all the new developments, and all it took for her to go back into the state of frustration was two minutes in hell with Lottie in a starring role.

“It must be hard, living in that head of yours,” Kisa’s upper lip twitched in disgust. “And also… if I want Kassam, there’s nothing you can do about that.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Kisa tilted her head to her side, giving the shorter girl one of her ironically pitiful looks.

“Just that you don’t stand a chance against me, and you know it.”

Before Lottie could react, Kisa grabbed her guitar and tequila bottle with one hand and marched off towards the sun loungers. This interaction threw her mood off, and she needed to relax until she burned half of this fucking villa down.

She had such a _bearable_ day, and now she was back to her usual moody self.

Now, reminded of what happened at the last night’s recoupling, Kisa couldn’t stop thinking about what happened next.

_You had sex with him, again. Stop pretending it’s not sex just because you hadn’t actually banged him. You had sex with him all these times, and if they weren’t gone, you’d been having sex with him right now._

Just a brief memory of last night sent shivers down her spine, and Kisa had to rub her arms with her hands to chase this feeling away. Just this little memory of his fingers touching her skin was enough to get her going, and she groaned in frustration.

She wasn’t angry with Lucas – only with herself. She knew who he was from the start, she got no one else to blame but her stupid self. That’s just how her fucked-up brained worked, all it took for her to catch feels was to cross that blurred ‘no sexual contact’ line, and she hated it.

She hated herself for screwing her own fucking self up, again.

With a corner of her eye, Kisa spotted Kassam, Jamie, and Graham as they strolled out of the villa. Immediately, Lottie barred their way and dragged Kassam somewhere towards the now empty gym. Jamie and Graham exchanged grins and slowly walked up to where Kisa was.

“Hi, there,” Jamie flopped on the lounger and gave Kisa a wide smile.

Graham rolled his eyes a little and settled on another lounger.

“Are you going to play?” He nodded at the guitar.

“I planned to.”

“But?”

“But I’m not in a mood anymore.”

Jamie’s gaze traveled up and down her body lazily as if he just had no better thing to look at, and it reminded Kisa of the way Lucas sometimes stared at her. He never tried to hide it, if anything, it seemed that he _enjoyed_ knowing that she knew he was looking.

“Where’s everyone, anyway?” Graham looked around.

“Well, boys, you’re bound to find out that some of the ladies here go from zero to sixty in way less time than it takes them to put on their faces.”

Jamie chuckled.

“What?”

“It takes forever for them to cover up the fact they’re ugly as hell,” Priya’s voice made them all look up.

“Wow,” Kisa grinned at the older girl. “I think I need you on top of me, now.”

Priya returned her smile and laughed at how dumbfounded Graham and Jamie looked. She gracefully lowered herself on the lounger next to Graham and bumped his shoulder.

“Remember to breathe, big guy.”

“I-I didn’t think you two talk like that all the time,” Jamie admitted, blushing. “I’m not surprised though, you know… after the kiss.”

“What kiss?” Priya widened her eyes in mocked shock. “Do you know what he’s on about?”

“No idea,” Kisa smirked.

“I, erm…” Jamie’s face was red as a tomato as he tried to explain himself. “But the two of you…”

“He must be imagining things.”

Priya raised an eyebrow at Kisa, and the younger girl gave her a barely noticeable nod. The same moment, Priya bent over and snaked her hand around Kisa’s neck, pulling her into a brief open-mouth kiss.

“You shouldn’t watch so much tv,” Kisa patted Jamie’s hand emphatically.

Graham’s loud laughter echoed through the villa, drawing attention to their little company.

“You girls,” He shook his head, glancing between Priya and Kisa, amused.

With her peripheral, Kisa spotted Hope, Carl, and Marisol, as the three of them walked out of the villa, followed by everyone else. Soon, all islanders gathered around the pool, only Kassam and Lottie were missing.

“I could do with some music,” Elijah glanced at Kisa. “Anyone else?”

“Oh em gee, yes! Please, Kisa!” Chelsea was almost jumping on a spot, filled with excitement. “Pretty please!”

Kisa gave the younger girl a studying look. Chelsea looked happy with the new guy, but a little petty side of Kisa couldn’t help but think about that time this blonde pixie kissed Lucas.

 _It was a challenge,_ Kisa had to remind herself. She should’ve also reminded herself that she had no right to feel jealous in the first place, but that ship has sailed. And it was her own fucking fault.

Just to stop her train of thought, Kisa grabbed her guitar and looked around.

“I need one of the barstools.”

“I’ll get it for you,” Graham moved past Marisol, and she grimaced.

“She could go and grab it herself.”

“Aren’t you nice,” Kisa sent the law student her signature grin that was bound to wind her up and slid on the chair, letting the split on her dress open and reveal her entire leg and most of the thigh, just out of this petty need to show everyone – show _him_ – that she can get anyone she wants.

 _“…_ _What is happiness but a word_ _  
Spoken from on high for what it's worth?  
Flown beneath the wings of little birds  
But I have felt the wind crawl where we're cursed…”_

Her fingers grazed the strings, drawing the melody out of the guitar. This was one of SILK latest releases, and right now, she _felt_ like this song. After all, she wasn’t just this distrustful little girl with daddy issues.

She was so much more than that, even if sometimes it didn’t feel like that. Whatever this past week was, it was all gone and forgotten now. She won’t lose control like that ever again, she won’t let him rule her like his fucking kingdom.

 _“…_ _Lurk within her gleaming silhouette_ _  
The seal in our wonder to ferment…”_

She was so done with this. Constant fight with herself, against herself – this just had to stop, now. Right here, with all these people looking at her, adoring her, _longing_ for her, it was so easy to remember who she was – a girl that just needed to walk into a room to get heads turning and hearts thumping.

Alex, and all those before him, might’ve screwed her over, but she can do better. She doesn’t have to repeat the same old damn pattern.

 _“…_ _Find us in the folded parts she pressed_ _  
Lying in positions like we've slept…”_

Kisa let her eyes move from one islander to another, drinking in their faces, feeding off their uncovered hate and lust and adoration. Her gaze caught Priya’s, and the older girl gave her a cheeky wink, and Kisa couldn’t hold back a smile.

Slowly, her eyes traveled to Jamie, who seemed to be torn between trying to get handsy with Priya and gawking at Kisa’s bare thigh. Then, there was Marisol and Graham. The fisherman looked like he didn’t care much about what was going on around him, while the law student looked highly annoyed.

 _“…_ _I, like the devil, can fly_ _  
And I read her sweet mind last night  
I, like God, can fly  
And I held a candle over her, frightened…”_

She needed this so much, to get away from him, even though, it was him who got away technically. Being in the Villa without him felt like a breath of fresh air, no one was making her heart race with just one look. No one’s arms snaked around her waist sending jolts of electricity all over her yearning body. No one made her feel things she didn’t want to feel, and no one could break through her walls.

Finally, she was free. She was safe.

_“…I, like the devil, can fly…”_

She ran her fingers across the strings one last time, and someone started clapping.

Kassam stood just a little aside from everyone, smiling. Kisa’s eyes searched the crowd for Lottie but she was nowhere to be found.

_So, no catfights tonight?_

Kisa smirked to herself and beckoned the DJ over.

“I remember, you promised this one a duo,” She nodded at Priya. “Still up for it?”

“Yup,” Kassam nudged her on her thigh with his knee. “Move, I’ll play.”

“Oh?” Kisa slid off the barstool.

“Remember that song I used to play?”

“Entire Dubai remembers the song you used to play,” She rolled her eyes. “It was literally the only thing you could play, for god knows what reason.”

“What can I say… I just really loved the way _you_ sang your part,” He gave her a playful grin, and Kisa laughed softly.

Somehow, it was unexplainably easy to pick up where they left off. Kassam was still the same guy she knew back when she was sixteen, just less awkward and more confident. He still got that light banter she could keep up with without feeling overwhelmed as it happened sometimes with Seth and now Bobby.

Until today, she hadn’t thought about him for almost ten years but somehow, it felt like these years never happened, like they just hanged out together last night. Being around Kassam was still as easy as she remembered, she just felt comfortable with him. No mind games, no power play, just two people spending their time in each other’s company.

Kassam rested her guitar on his thigh, and his long fingers grazed the strings.

 _“…She works it, girl, she works the pole_ _  
She breaks it down, she takes it low  
She fine as hell, doing her thing out on the floor…”_

His singing voice was different from how she remembered it, raspier and a little breathy, and honeyed, and it took her by surprise how ridiculously attractive this guy suddenly became in her eyes. It was like she just saw him clearly for the first time. Not the boy she used to know, but the man she knew almost nothing about yet – but who she’d like to get to know better.

She suddenly realized that she’s been staring at Kassam for way too long and moved a couple of steps from him so she could dance without accidentally slapping him on the face, and finally let her body go.

 _“…Make you want to touch it, make you want to taste it_ _  
Got you're head fucked up from the way she did it…”_

Elijah caught the beat and joined in, tapping on the wooden back of the sun lounger, and Kisa almost laughed: this exact same thing she used to do when Kassam played just for the two of them.

She moved easily, hips caught into the rhythm. Her hands slid gently up and down her body, playing with the skirt of her dress teasingly. Right now, nothing really mattered but Kassam’s husky voice and the rough sound he was drawing out of her guitar – he was still a horrible guitarist, that much hadn’t changed even a bit.

 _“…She's so much more than you're used to_ _  
She knows just how to move to seduce you  
She gone do the right thing and touch the right spot  
Dance in your lap till you're ready to pop…”_

One of her hands got caught in her long hair, tangling it just a little as she flipped it over her shoulder and threw her head back. Her eyes fell close for a long moment, all other senses heightened. She heard when a few people moved around to join her to dance, and she could smell Priya’s coconut and pineapple perfume, and she felt her own skin underneath her fingertips as she ran a hand up her arm and across her collarbone.

This old, cheesy, and cringy song somehow managed to do something not a single person could achieve in years – it brought her peace back. Finally, she felt at peace with herself, with what her life was right now.

Kisa snapped her eyes open, smiling, and joined in:

 _“…She always ready, when you want it she wants it_ _…”_

She forgot this song existed for almost ten years, but the words escaped her mouth effortlessly as if she’s been singing it every day.

_“…Baby this a new age, you like my new craze  
Let's get together maybe we can start a new phase  
The smokes got the club all hazy, spotlights don't do you, justice baby,  
Why don't you come over here, you got me saying…”_

She sang those lines along with her once summer friend and just couldn’t stop smiling.

 _“…In her fantasy, there's plain to see_ _  
Just how it be, on me, backstrokin', sweat soaking  
All into my set sheets…”_

She watched him singing, and it brought her back to her grandparent’s apartment with the Marina view. She forbade herself to even think about those times, as the pain of losing them never subsided, but right now, there was no pain.

She remembered the early morning alarms that she used to set so she could watch the night break into a day and the unmistakable scent of the sea outside her window. She remembered looking down, at all those people who seemed so little from the high floor and thinking of where they might’ve been heading to, or what their stories were.

Still caught in her thoughts, Kisa looked around, moving closer to Kassam to join him for the last few lines.

 _“…Different style, different move, damn I like the way you move_ _  
Girl, you got me thinking about, all the things I do to you…we can switch positions  
From the couch to the counters in my kitchen…”_

If she ever invented the time machine, she knew _when_ exactly she’d go: summer 2008, Dubai, her bedroom, where she and Kassam hanged out on one of those rare rainy days. She was just on the phone with Seth for almost half an hour, whispering quietly how much she’s been missing him, and now, Kassam played her this song he’d just learned.

It took her just one round to memorize most of the lyrics, and Kisa asked him to play again, so she could join in for some of the lines. It was such a weird song choice, she could barely contain laughter, but then he played again, and again, and again, and she couldn’t remember why she thought it was a weird choice anymore.

 _“…Ayo, I'm tired of using technology_  
Why don't you sit down on top of me  
Ayo, I'm tired of using technology…”

Kisa stepped behind Kassam and leaned closer to him, running her fingers across his shoulder, her body still moving in-sync with the music, and brushed her fingers against his cheek gently as they both sang the last notes.

_“…I need you right in front of me…”_

It seemed like the eternity had passed, though it was just a few minutes, and no one knew that her entire world had changed… it changed from black and red into all other colors, as if she finally allowed herself to actually _see_ them.

With the gentlest touch to her waist, Kassam pulled Kisa into a warm hug, resting his forehead against her chest, and she stilled in his embrace, feeling light as a party balloon – so light, it’d just took a breeze to send her flying above the ground.

“You’re still a horrible guitarist,” Kisa whispered into his hair, and Kassam chuckled.

“And you still dress like a wannabe BDSM Mistress.”

It was good, being around him. He wasn't center of attention, but she found herself in a group of people, in a middle of a friendly conversation with Marisol and Graham, and there wasn't any other explanation to it but Kassam's presence. Somehow, he managed to warm up a piece of ice around her heart, and now it was slowly melting away. 

“So, young man,” Priya snuggled deeper into the beanbag when the three of them parted from the main group. “What are your intentions with my sweet Kisa?”

Kisa almost chocked on her drink, but Kassam didn’t even blink.

“Pretty traditional: marriage, five kids, joint retirement plan.”

Priya chuckled her approval, saluting with her glass, and all three of them went silent for a minute. Most of the islanders dispersed through the Villa, discussing ‘sleeping arrangements’ as Hope called it. They’ve already witnessed a very awkward moment when Jamie asked Priya to share a bed and she refused to.

“It doesn’t feel right. I don’t want you to waste time grafting on me when I know that it won’t lead to anything.”

This wasn’t in Priya’s character, but the older girl seemed pretty happy with her decision, and Kisa stopped worrying about it. Clearly, Priya was determined to keep her word and wait for Bobby, and even though her own sappy reaction made Kisa cringe, she was happy for the couple. Unless Bobby fucks everything up and brings back one of those Casa bitches.

Thinking about Bobby’s alleged adultery made her think about a certain doctor, and Kisa frowned to herself as the images filled her head and her heart sunk in a spasm of jealousy. She had plenty of flaws and bad personality traits, but jealousy was never one of them. Maybe, it was because she was constantly involved with public figures, singers, producers, actors – and she learned not to be jealous when they spent time with other women because it was part of their life, part of their character.

So why was it different with _him?_

Why did she felt this need to scare off Chelsea when she dared as much as a kiss that he never returned or encouraged?

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed when everyone else went back inside.

“Hey, you okay?” Kassam’s hand brushed her shoulder carefully.

Kisa snapped out of her haze and nodded.

“Yeah, sorry, just got lost in thoughts.”

“This seems like a newer thing,” DJ noted.

“Yeah, something like that,” She smiled sardonically. “Where’s everyone?”

“They’re getting ready for bed. Priya was hesitant if she should leave you here, alone, all at my mercy.”

He chuckled, and Kisa couldn’t hold back a huff.

“Right, as if it’s me who’s the damsel here.”

“Oi! That one time!”

“That one time you got your ass almost beaten by two emo-kids!”

Kassam rolled his eyes, tipping closer to her. He smelled a little of sea salt and freshly mowed lawn, the scent so delicate and barely there, it took him to move this close for Kisa to sense it.

“You’re just as smug as I remember.”

There was a sarcastic reply at the tip of her tongue waiting but she bit it back. She liked the girl he remembered. She was a little reserved and hot-headed, and she wasn’t really good at hiding her emotions and never could bite her tongue when needed.

But she was also fearless and fierce and was never afraid to live. Never afraid to love. Never afraid to let people know how she felt about them, be it hate, respect, or attraction.

And she wished she could bring that girl back. She wished she could just _be_ that girl, again.

Finally, Kisa looked back at him, staring deeply into two oceans that his eyes were.

“Can I ask you something?” She spoke through a sudden lump in her throat and hastily took a sip of her drink.

Kassam nodded, and a line cut his forehead in two. Before she could stop herself, Kisa reached to his face and brushed her fingers across the line, smoothing it out.

“Back then… did you fancy me?”

She took him by surprise, obviously. In all the time they’ve known each other, neither of them ever crossed the very distinctive friendship line, not even when both of them were drunk and on high from the adrenaline rush.

“I-I don’t think I ever actually let myself think about that back then” He replied finally, lowering his gaze to stare down at his sneakers.

“What about now?”

His head snapped up.

“Now?”

Green eyes went a shade dark when she leaned forward.

“Do you fancy me now?”

A beat passed in complete silence as if someone just muted the world around them. Before it became too intense, Kassam slipped from his beanbag, leaning forward to close the space between himself and the girl he never expected to find in a place like this.

His lips were soft and tender against hers, and his hand took a gentle hold of hers when he kissed her tentatively, and a feeling of sudden familiarity washed over Kisa’s body. She’d never kissed him before, but somehow it felt like they’ve been doing this forever. Her knees were pressed against his stomach, as he shifted decisively closer to deepen the kiss. With one hand still holding hers, he ran the fingers of his free hand up and down the back of her neck, coaxing little shivers out of her.

He didn’t know what he’d expected from today, but it wasn’t anywhere close to this. He applied for the show out of boredom, just to escape from the rut his life had become.

When he realized that this stunning fierce woman is the girl he used to know back when he was a teenager, he decided it was a sign from the Universe - but he didn’t know what kind of sign it was. She was barely the person he used to know. Whatever her life was these past ten years, it wrecked her.

Her relationship with that Lucas guy looked like a battle, and even though the Internet and press thought differently, it wasn’t hot and intriguing. It was painful to watch.

Kisa’s hands cupped his face, warm and soft, and for the first time, he admitted to himself that the only reason he was here was sitting right in front of him, kissing him slowly, gently. He didn’t lie just now, he really never gave himself a chance to think about her in a romantic way, she was always just this girl next door who spent her summers at her grandparents’ and who he practiced his English with.

Kassam’s fingers tangled in her long dark-chocolate hair, pulling her into him even more, and her knees pushed harder into his stomach, kicking the breath out of him.

“Uh!” He had to break their kiss as he gasped for air.

Before Kisa could pull away, Kassam shuffled closer to her, his knees hurting from standing on the decking for too long and coaxed her face closer to his.

“Does that answer your question?”

She nodded slightly, looking into his eyes deeply.

“Good,” He nodded, too, and brought her hand closer to his face to kiss her knuckles gently. “Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do _you_ fancy me now?”

It was only fair that he asked her, right? Kisa’s heart skipped a beat and then hammered faster in her chest as she grazed her lip between her teeth. She did fancy him, right? She liked being around him, he managed to put a smile on her face, fuck, ever since she saw him, she couldn’t stop smiling. Just his presence gave her this sense of calmness… he gave her peace.

Who the fuck cares about those ‘fanny flutters’ or whatever when they got _this_?

“Yeah, I do,” She replied finally, brushing her thumb across his lips before leaning into another kiss, this time, long and demanding.

He gasped in surprise but returned it passionately, wrapping his hands around the girl’s waist tightly. She shifted her body until her legs were on both sides of him, and she used it as a leverage to pull the DJ closer in.

She needed to chase away the pictures that were flickering under her closed eyelids and make her body forget those touches that sent her over the edge, time after time. Almost desperately, she wrapped her legs around Kassam’s waist, trying to remove any space that might have still remain between them, and he gently cupped her face before parting their lips.

“I’m sorry,” Her eyelashes fluttered as she looked at him with the intensity that left him almost swaying.

She put her feet back on the decking, and now her knees were barely touching his sides. She recomposed herself slowly and was ready to pull back from Kassam when his hand slipped off her face and found her hand.

“I didn’t mean to rush anything.”

“No, it’s not that,” He frowned a little. “I mean, it took me ten years to realize I might’ve always had a thing for you,” Kassam chuckled. “And I’m still not over the fact that I’m here, with you, and… and you’re coupled with somebody else.”

“Noah?” Kisa grimaced. “Just because he decided to pick me…”

“I mean Lucas.”

Here, he said it.

Kassam moved to sit on one of the beanbags, still unsure what he was going to say next. He didn’t think he cared about her being with somebody else, but turned out, a freaking gentleman in him wasn’t dead and he actually _did_ care.

Kisa was going to say something, but he stopped her.

“No, I need to say this. Lottie wanted to chat with me earlier… well, she basically said she fancies me and asked if I’d share a bed with her.”

 _Sure she did,_ Kisa huffed under her breath.

“I told her that even though she’s my type on paper, I wasn’t interested.”

“She’s your type?” Kisa couldn’t stop herself. “The girl is a walking illustration for the word “hypocrisy”.

“I wasn’t interested because I wanted to ask you to share a bed with me,” He continued. “I wasn’t sure if you’d want it to be as more than friends, but I’d be cool just hanging out with you as mates.”

“So, what’s the problem, then?”

Kisa studied Kassam’s face, trying to figure him out. He looked way too serious for a guy who walked into a Villa full of hot single girls just a few hours ago.

“I’d like to know if… well, this,” He vaguely pointed at the space between them. “Is this just for fun? I know we haven’t spoken to each other in almost ten years and are practically strangers, but do you think you’d be willing to see where this might go? You know, long-term.”

By the end of his speech, Kassam’s face was colored a deep shade of red, and he couldn’t bring himself to even look at the girl in front of him.

“Sorry, it came off weird, it’s just… Shit, I feel like an idiot,” He groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m just not used to this ‘casual’ thing, that is.”

The words came out muffled, but she heard him.

It hit her so hard, she’d fall if she wasn’t already sitting.

“Good,” Girl leaned forward decisively. “I’m not used to it, either.”

Kassam looked at her, surprised.

“You don’t think I’m being weird?”

“No,” She shook her head, smiling. “I think you’re lovely.” Kisa placed a gentle kiss at the corner of his mouth and grinned. “Look at you, got me all soft and sappy.”

“What I can say, a man of many talents,” Kassam smirked back at her and got up to his feet, extending his hand. “C’mon, time to hit the hay.”


	19. Dearest, You Said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Making me feel things I never knew  
> Opening doors I’ve never seen before  
> Now that I see it, I know I need it..."
> 
> [Haze - Breathe.]

“Lads!” Gary’s loud yell echoed through the lawn and reached Lucas’ ears as he walked out of the building, squinting in bright sunlight. “There’s a text!”

It was the morning of day three of casa amor, and Lucas had pretty much enough. All the boys were so sickeningly enthusiastic about the new girls, and he… he wasn’t. To his own surprise, he didn’t care about any of the girls, they all looked like cookie-cutters, and he barely managed to remember their names.

“Boys on tour”, as Gary called it, the atmosphere wasn’t his cup of tea, and Lucas would go mad out of boredom if not for Bobby.

Bobby had two moods: either he was just shuffling around looking like a sad lost puppy, or, even worse, he was in this hypermanic phase when he couldn’t even sit still and needed to be everywhere at once. Both of these states were a good distraction for Lucas: he could throw back drinks with sad Bobby at eleven in the morning, and funny Bobby just left him breathless of laughter.

He didn’t miss her, no.

He didn’t wish she was here instead of these six girls who were all ready to do whatever to get into the main villa.

He didn’t care what she’s been up to these days.

He wasn’t having disturbingly vivid dreams about her, and her lips, and her legs wrapped around him. And he hadn’t woken up all tangled in sweaty sheets, his dick hard and pulsing.

No, nothing like that.

And he absolutely wasn’t worried that she might’ve found someone else, someone who wasn’t afraid of commitment. Someone, who promised her to be with her, for real. Someone, who wanted more than a hot summer fling. Someone, she could trust.

He wasn’t terrified to lose her, not even a bit.

Lucas frowned to himself and made his way to the sun loungers, where Gary was waiting for the other boys. It was a no-brainer that Gary was planning to pick Kisa at the last recoupling, and Lucas would’ve definitely have a thing to say about it if he didn’t get caught into a messy triangle with Jakub and Noah.

Lottie did a surprisingly well job at de-escalating the conflict between him and Noah on the night of the recoupling, but as soon as the boys left to casa, everything went downhill. They weren’t allowed to get physical even though Lucas really wanted to introduce librarian’s face to the nearest flat surface every time he was around.

But it wasn’t because he was jealous, not at all. He just wasn’t into sharing, and he hated it when someone tried taking something that he _owned_.

Besides text announcements and challenges, he, Jakub, and Noah were mostly avoiding each other now, just to keep their time at Casa Amor somewhat civil.

Lucas sighed and lowered himself on the lounger next to Gary. With all the drama going on with two other guys, he was just too tired and worn out to get into more arguments, so he decided to just let it slip, and ignore the fact that the blond had his eye on Kisa. Especially, considering that she was never much interested in his advances, as far as Lucas was aware.

“Alright?”

Gary clasp his hand on Lucas’ shoulder, and the older guy winced a little: he hated this entire ‘bros’ thing, even Bobby’d picked up on that and never crossed that boundary.

“Yeah… you? You and Emily seem to be hitting off well.”

“You reckon?” Gary shrugged, unconvinced. “I mean, she’s nice, but a bit of a bubblehead for me. Reminds me of Chelsea. I don’t really know what she’s on most of the time.”

Lucas chuckled.

“So, you don’t think you’ll bring her back?”

“I haven’t thought about it yet. I dunno. Maybe?”

Gary’s tone of voice didn’t sound convincing, and Lucas frowned a little, contemplating whether he wants to carry on with this conversation. Clearly, crane operator couldn’t get Kisa out of his head, and that might become a problem once they’re back in the Villa.

There were many potential problems, actually, not just Gary. Noah, who was still coupled with her. Six new guys that were there right now, grafting her like a fucking orange tree.

But he wasn’t jealous. Thinking about her in the arms of another didn’t make his chest tighten, and it didn’t make a lump form in his throat, and it didn’t make him want to hit the wall. He didn’t feel like there was a boiling pot in the pit of his stomach every time his brain threw an image of her with some perfection of a man next to her.

He didn’t care if she’s fallen for one of those new boys so hard that all the time they’ve spent together now is just a distant memory. It didn’t bother him that right now, somebody else’s arms might’ve been wrapped around her waist, and somebody else’s lips might’ve been pressed to her neck, marking her, _claiming_ her.

No, it wasn’t of his concern that he might get back into the Villa just to find out that she’d met the love of her life, someone heavenly sent just to make her forget about Lucas. No, this wouldn’t hurt him at all, because he didn’t care.

She was just this girl he’d met on a trashy tv-show and had a bit of fun with, and his life wouldn’t change if she walks out of it just as fast as she sauntered into it.

“Why so serious, fellas?” Bobby plopped on the lounger, almost slapping Lucas on the face with his hand. “Where’s everyone? I’ve heard there’s a text.”

“Yeah, we’re just waiting for you, slow fucks, to come round,” Gary grinned, and Bobby nudged him on a knee.

“Rahim and Shannon went to the Beach Hut,” Bobby reported. “The less is said about the others, the better,” A deep line cut through his forehead for a second before baker pulled on his usual grin back. “Anyways, I’m here now. What’s the text about?”

Gary rolled his eyes.

“It just said to gather all the boys.”

“Ugh, bummer,” Bobby suddenly jumped to his feet. “Right, I’m gonna fetch myself a drink while we’re waiting.”

When he wandered off, Gary turned to Lucas with a look of concern on his face.

“You’re his closest mate here now. Is he alright?”

Was Bobby alright? No. Would he wanted Lucas to tell people about that? Double no.

“He’s fine,” Physiotherapist got up, too. “I’m gonna go grab something from the kitchen, too, since no one’s here anyway. You want anything?”

Gary shook his head, and Lucas left him alone, wondering if there was ever a chance for them to move past this awkwardness. Out of everyone here, Gary was probably the only person he could’ve been mates if they’ve met outside the villa. He was outgoing and chill, and even though he was such a bloke, he wasn’t boring to be around.

“Did you miss me already?” Bobby grinned at him and poured some more white rum into a shaker.

Lucas rolled his eyes.

“Are you making mojitos?”

“Sure am.”

The older guy propped himself onto the counter and grabbed a piece of lime to chew on. Apparently, Bobby’s two moods had finally collapsed and now he was a very energetic sad fuck who needed to get drunk to get through the day.

“Do you think today’s our last day here?” Lucas wondered when Bobby garnished his glass with fresh mint and handed it to physio.

“Maybe. Hope so. I mean…” Bobby laughed and waved his hand. “Right. A toast.”

Baker went quiet.

“Well?” Lucas rushed him.

“What? I made us drinks; you make a toast.”

With a roll of his eyes, Lucas cleared his throat:

“To my bipolar mate. He’s good people.”

Bobby gawked at him for a second before bending over in a fit of laughter.

“You sassy git.”

They sipped on their drinks in silence until eventually other guys walked out of the building and joined Gary by the pool. Lucas nodded towards the others.

“We should join.”

“Yeah,” Bobby frowned. “Never thought I won’t be glad for a larger company.”

“It’s called adulting. You learn to… sift through.”

Drink in hand, they both joined everyone by the pool, and Bobby’s phone beeped with a text.

“It’s just a video,” Baker waved his hand. “Scooch closer.”

Lucas got caught between Bobby and Rahim and had to throw his arm over Scot’s shoulders for stability.

“I’m not _that_ drunk,” Bobby hip-bumped him, and Lucas rolled his eyes. “But I’ll keep you in mind just in case.”

“Can we get to the video, please?” Noah huffed, and Lucas felt his fingers clench into a fist uncontrollably. Before he could say anything, Bobby pressed ‘play’.

\----

“I want CJ to give me a piggyback,” Priya demanded, pouting. “He keeps bragging about his runner’ stamina, I say, time to put it to test… outside the bedroom.”

“Hop on, love,” CJ gave her an up-nod and braced himself as Priya jumped on him at a run, wrapping her legs and arms around him simultaneously. “Comfy back there?”

“Yup. Now, giddy up!”

Kisa laughed as she watched those two messing around the lawn, wild and free as if it’s not a game show that might change their lives.

“Hey,” Kassam walked up to her and nudged her gently on the hip. He was carrying Kisa’s guitar in one hand and a mug in another.

“Hey,” She looked up at him, and a little smile appeared at the corners of her mouth. “Tea?”

“You’re British. All Brits drink tea.”

She laughed softly and took the mug from his hand, brushing her fingers against his knuckles.

“You’re such a dork.”

“Priya!” Kassam yelped, waving her and CJ over. “Tell her to stop calling me names!”

“Stop calling him names,” Priya laughed, wrapping her arms tighter around CJ’s neck. “His own name is his punishment, he suffered enough.”

Kassam rolled his eyes in mock exasperation and dragged a beanbag closer to where Kisa was, so their knees touched gently when he nuzzled deep into his seat. He rested guitar on his thighs and brushed his fingers against the strings, drawing out soft accords.

“Oh, you’re going to play?” CJ asked, lowering Priya back on the ground. “Do you take requests?”

“Have you heard him playing?” Kisa rolled her eyes. “If cats could play guitar… they wouldn’t like it.”

Priya gave in first, bursting hard into laughter, others following suit. Chelsea and Elijah joined them a moment after, dragging more beanbags to make a circle. Elijah wrapped his arms around Chelsea as they both took one beanbag.

“Babe, let’s join them,” Carl tugged at Hope’s hand, dragging her closer to the company.

\------

“I don’t know what I’ve been expecting, but this was not it.”

It was already dark outside, and Kassam and Kisa were alone in the kitchen. He looked down at her and brushed his fingers through her hair, playing with it.

“Yeah, it’s been… unusually quiet,” She agreed, tilting her head slightly to her side. “So far, this has been the best day I had here.”

“Is that so?” His voice went a bit lower, and Kisa nodded lightly, her throat suddenly dry.

“Don’t let it get into your head,” She managed a little smirk.

Their moment was ruined as Marisol and Graham walked past them, and Graham wolf-whistled at them.

“Get a room, lovebirds!”

Kisa rolled her eyes.

“Just so you know, we’ve all heard you last night,” She turned to Kassam. “All those noises… I was like ‘bitch, you’re so fake’. I still can’t believe you’d slept through it.”

“I still can’t believe I had any sleep at all,” Kassam smirked at her. “Priya was right, you’re a very aggressive sleeper.”

“Oh, shut up, Mr. Cold Feet.”

His arm snaked around Kisa’s waist as DJ pulled her closer in, his eyes locked with hers.

\----

“Bobby might have some competition,” Lottie noted as rubbed her face mercilessly with a make-up wipe.

All the girls were in the dressing room, taking off their faces and chatting.

“Not gonna lie,” Priya winced in pain, as Kisa put a band-aid on a blister on her big toe. “Jamie has really grown on me.”

“After the shitstorm of the last recoupling, we’re all are pretty much single,” Hope grimaced, checking herself in a mirror. “None of us is attached to our partner, right?”

A loud noise from the corner made them all look worriedly at Chelsea.

“You alright?” Kisa got up from the floor and walked up to the younger girl. “Let me help.”

“Thanks,” Chelsea sent her a shy smile. “I’m all about Elijah. He’s the only guy I like except…”

She cut herself off, throwing a nervous glance at Kisa but the older girl seemed to slur over it and just listened to the ongoing conversation.

“… Hope was right,” Priya’s last words got caught on her mic as she changed her clothes. “I guess, it all comes down to whether we want to stick with our partner, or not.” She gave Kisa a cheeky wink. “And I’m not holding my breath.”

\-----------

For a few long moments, everything weltered in silence. Lucas could hear girls’ distant laughter, and birdsong, and two staff members chatting. But between the boys, it was dead silence. No one knew what to say or how to react.

Bobby’s hand was shaking, and his phone slipped out of his fingers, finally snapping everyone out of this weird trance.

“What the actual fuck!”

Noah’s reaction was so unexpected, for a moment, everyone forgot about the video and watched the librarian as he stormed into the building, cursing.

“Wow,” Gary shook his head.

“I’ve never heard him swear,” Rahim looked somehow amused. “I guess, he has reasons to be upset, all three of them looked pretty happy without him.”

Bobby frowned.

“They’re not his fucking concubines, Ram.”

Bobby’s face was drained out of color, and Lucas focused on that. He pulled baker away from the others and walked both of them to the kitchen, taking his turn as a bartender. This time, he refilled their glasses with straight tequila and pushed one of the glassed into Bobby’s hand.

He had to keep himself busy.

Because if he didn’t, he’d start feeling, and he wasn’t ready to feel _this_.


	20. Fog of the Heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...I don’t care if it’s not righteous  
> I don’t give a damn  
> There’s no other lovin' like this..."
> 
> [Won't - Tanerelle]

“Do you think our boys got a similar video message?” Chelsea wondered, blushing, and put her phone screen down on the kitchen counter.

“I’m pretty sure of that,” Lottie frowned a bit and straightened the skirt of her sequined silver dress. “None of us stayed exactly loyal to our partners… Except for Priya,” Blonde added after a pause. “Though I’m sure they edited it enough to make it look like she’s been grafting relentless.”

A strong look of distaste twisted her face, and Kisa couldn’t help but agree. She glanced at Priya whose face was a mask. Bobby was one star of the video, with two out of three segments mostly focused on him and two girls who looked like they were ready to climb him like Henrik climbs mountains.

Kisa tugged on Priya’s hand.

“Let’s leave them.”

The older girl nodded and followed Kisa to the hidden bench in-between Villa’s levels. Right now, Kisa was only focused on Priya, avoiding thinking about the video they just watched. She didn’t want to think why Lucas wasn’t in it.

Her mind kept racing as she walked Priya over to the bench and helped her settle, wrapping her arms around the older girl’s shoulders. Priya’s back was pressed against Kisa’s chest, and her hair smelled familiar of coconut, and a moment later Kisa felt that the shoulders under her hands are shaking ever so slightly.

Priya was crying, and Kisa’s heart almost jumped out of her chest. She’s never seen Priya this wrecked before, and it was so painful she’d forgotten about her own fears and anxiety.

“Shh,” She whispered, tightening her embrace.

Kisa didn’t believe – not even for a second – that anything about that video was what it seemed. She saw Bobby’s face when he proposed Priya during that stupid challenge, he might’ve as well proposed her for real at that moment. That video was just an exaggerated montage, even though it hurt to watch it, Kisa had no doubt that Priya had nothing to be worried about.

“Look at me,” She finally loosened her grip and turned Priya gently, making the older girl looked at her with her huge eyes, framed with long black eyelashes, now all wet with tears. “You wanna know what I think?”

Priya nodded faintly, still sobbing.

“I think Bobby loves you,” She said simply. “And now, I’m pretty sure you love him, too.”

“I-,” Priya stuttered. “I think I do.”

Her eyes widened as she thought about her own words. It seemed impossible, to love someone she’d known for less than three weeks, but here she was, admitting her feeling for a guy she wasn’t even sure was right for her.

“Then trust him,” Kisa said firmly. “Trust _in_ him, in what the two of you have. Because I’m telling you, when Bobby gets back here tonight, he’ll come back single and ready to sweep you off your feet… Or maybe, you’ll do the sweeping, just to make sure he doesn’t trip and fall and you both end up in a hospital.”

Priya snorted with laughter, and Kisa felt the knot inside her chest loosen a bit.

“So, you’ve decided what you’re gonna do?” Priya asked a few minutes later.

Kisa shrugged.

“I don’t have much choice, do I?”

“You can always surprise Marisol and couple with Graham.”

They both burst into giggles, feeling the need to just laugh it all out until the tension of the last few days leaves their bodies. Kisa imagined the law student’s face and giggled again.

“That’d be so satisfying.”

Kisa’s phone beeped.

“I hate that sound,” Priya shivered.

“It’s just my turn to go into the Beach Hut… You’ll be alright, yeah?”

Priya nodded and pressed a gentle kiss to Kisa’s cheek.

She didn’t want to leave Priya, didn’t want to answer a bunch of stupid questions, didn’t want to see anyone… Mostly, she didn’t want to think about that stupid video and the only person who wasn’t in it.

 _He wasn’t the only one,_ Kisa reminded herself. _Gary and Rahim weren’t there either._

Kisa shook her head furiously as if it might help to shake all the thoughts out of it. Whatever the reason behind his absence was, she had no right to be mad or jealous or whatever it was that she felt right now. She wasn’t exactly faithful to him, was she?

Just because it hurt her not to have him around…

She had hit her open palm against the wall. She was fine, she didn’t need to have him around. No, not at all. She absolutely didn’t look around expecting to see him standing just a little aside from the others, his sniggering smirk stretched across the plump lips.

Her heart wasn’t skipping beats when she saw a tall, dark-haired man walking across the lawn.

She wasn’t missing him at all.

Kisa stopped before the Beach Hut door as she heard Kassam’s muted voice.

“…never thought she’d actually like me back. My mind is in pieces right now.”

She wasn’t supposed to hear that, but some invisible force just pulled her closer to the door and made her listen in.

“… I mean, of course. I haven’t asked her though, I don’t want to pressure her into doing anything. Of she decides to give us a chance, I’d be happy, but if she thinks that Lucas – or anyone else – is a better fit for her, I’d be happy for her, too. I just want her to find what she’s looking for, you know? But… I really wish we could have a proper chance, here and on the outside.”

Kisa’s heart grew a size, risking breaking free from the ribcage. These last three days were so much different from all her previous time on Love Island. For the first time, she was actually enjoying this place. She woke up cuddled up to Kassam, who was always up by the time she opened her eyes, just watching her sleep and humming songs quietly. They had breakfast together and then joined Priya, CJ, and Jamie by the pool.

Then, they’d have lunch and participate in yet another stupid challenge. Then, they’d get ready for the night and Kisa would play the guitar and sing, and Kassam would sit behind her, brushing his fingers accidentally across the strings – and not so accidentally across her shoulders and arms.

And then, they’d go back to bed just to repeat the day again, and again… And it felt like finally, she could just exhale. As if before he arrived, she was living on inhale, constantly on edge, not able to relax not even for a minute. And at last, she felt _relief_. Her stupid bet with Alex, her plans on leading a guy and dumping him straight after the finale, everything seemed so small.

She lied to herself when she thought she was here for any of those reasons – she was here because she got so desperate, she took this crazy chance to change her life, to meet someone who wouldn’t wreck her again. Someone, she could trust. Someone who’d make her smile again.

And she was constantly smiling, whenever Kassam was around, her mouth, her eyes, her entire body just couldn’t hold back a wide, sincere smile that started at the corners of her mouth and then spread across her face and lit up her eyes. 

He just made her feel… good. Like _she_ was good. Like she was more than just a good-time girl everyone else saw in her.

She stepped away from the door just in time – it flew open and Kassam almost stumbled into Kisa.

“Ugh!”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” She couldn’t hide a little grin. “But I’m glad I did. You look adorable when you’re scared.”

DJ chuckled and brushed his fingers across her cheek.

“You’re up next?”

“Yup.

She spotted a nervous furrow in his brow and leaned in closer to kiss it off his face, remembering what he’d just said. He wanted to be with her, not just here, but in the real world, too. Kisa knew that most of the couples here already had this ‘will you bring me back’ conversation, and she appreciated the space he gave her.

“I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” She whispered, gently tracing her hands up and down his arms, and disappeared inside the Beach Hut.

**Hi, Kisa. How are you feeling after the video girls received just now?**

“Well, I can’t exactly tell since the only person I care about… I’m fine.”

She had to cut herself off short. She didn’t like the way she sounded at that moment, as if she actually _cared_ why the fuck he wasn’t in that goddamn video. And she didn’t, she didn’t care at all.

**How Casa Amor has been for you?**

“It was… surprisingly great. I’ve enjoyed getting to know all the new guys, and I was glad to see Kassam again, after all these years. I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that we’re both here, now.”

**The big question: are you going to stick with Noah or switch to Kassam or one of the new guys?**

Noah was the last person she wanted to talk or think right now. What he did at the last recoupling was so shady and muggy, she almost felt bad for Hope.

“Like okay, he didn’t want to stay coupled with Hope, it’s fine. But he should’ve had an open conversation with her, instead of going behind her - and everyone else’s – back. But Hope is just as bad as he is, so after all, they might actually be a perfect couple.”

The screen in front of her blinked, and Kisa saw the same stick or switch question popping up on it again.

“Oh, right. Well, I guess, we’ll have to wait until it’s time to make a decision and see about that one.”

**You can go.**

At some point, producers stopped forcing her into talking, as they figured that her enigmatic attitude might be good to keep the audience guessing and, as Tim once told her, they mostly used her Beach Hut hookups for the next episode teasers. Turned out, besides driving islanders, he was also the one in charge of all deliveries, as the producers didn’t want locals to find out about Villa’s location.

Now, whenever she saw her favorite chocolate bars, she knew it was Tim who picked it up for her.

Kisa sighed and left the room, bumping into Chelsea on her way out.

“Oi!” The younger girl yelped.

“We should really stop meeting like this,” Kisa said blankly, and Chelsea stared at her, trying to figure is she was serious or joking.

“Uhm, yeah,” Blonde nodded finally. “So… that video, huh? It was… weird. Seeing our boys with other girls.”

“Just as weird as if it was for them to see _us_ with the new guys.”

Chelsea’s cheeks went red under Kisa’s scrutinizing gaze. Chelsea was with Elijah now, and the two of them seemed pretty tight – at least, Kisa knew that Chelsea was planning to choose him at the tonight’s recoupling.

Kisa backed off with a little frown: coming for Chelsea like that was absolutely mental, and it had to stop.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” She moved past the blonde and slowly walked outside.

Kassam and Priya were in the kitchen with CJ, Jamie, and Graham. All the boys gathered around Priya as she demonstrated her mixologist talent. Mostly, she was just shaking silver shaker furiously, and her boobs jiggled in perfect sync with her movements, hypnotizing everyone in the room.

Kisa leaned against one of the barstools and watched the show for a few seconds until Kassam looked over his shoulder and met her ironic gaze.

His cheeks flushed red when he jumped to his feet and walked up to her.

“Enjoying the view?” She cocked an eyebrow at him, barely containing laughter.

Wordlessly, he pulled her closer in until their bodies were pressed against each other and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. It was such an innocent thing to do right now, when she was in his arms, dressed only in a long black slip-on silk dress with a thigh-split, her breath stuttered with tenderness.

He was so sweet and attentive and lovely, and she felt so safe with him…

Kisa coiled her arms around his neck, pulling the DJ even closer. Her eyes fell shut as their lips met in a slow, soft kiss that tasted like Acacia honey, light and sweet. His hands were warm and gentle on her sides, and his skin smelt like the ocean, bringing her back to the happiest moments of her life.

“Please, don’t mind us,” Graham’s voice made them pull apart.

“Oh, never,” Kisa smirked. “I like being watched.”

Kassam cheeks flushed red at her words, and all the boys chuckled.

“Prepareth, brave prince! Thee've hath found yourself not a damsel but a dragon!” Graham spoke solemnly, sending everyone into another fit of laughter.

Kisa couldn’t help but smile, too. Kassam rolled his eyes at her and just wrapped her tighter into his arms, resting his chin on her shoulder. She didn’t know how he’d managed to stay calm right now, with the recoupling starting any moment now.

“Hey,” She frowned, looking up at the guy next to her. “Could we have…”

“Guys! I’ve got a text!” Hope’s loud voice cut Kisa short.

“I guess, not this time,” She sighed, following everyone to the sun loungers where Hope and Carl were.

They had to wait a few minutes in an intense silence until everyone joined them, and then Hope read the message.

“It’s time,” She looked at Carl with a smirk on her lips. “I can’t wait.”

They all walked to the firepit, where girls took their seats on the bench, and guys lined up across the firepit, bracing themselves for whatever was coming next. Priya reached out for Kisa’s hand.

“I feel sick,” Priya whispered. “Like, physically sick.”

“You just have to trust your gut. What does it say?”

“It says that those shrimps were spoiled.”

Kisa snorted and shook her head.

“See? You and Bobby were meant to be.”

Priya’s phone beeped, and her face turned almost green: she had to go first. Lottie glanced at the older girl but kept silent.

“Uhm, yeah,” Priya suddenly lost her tongue. “Well, I wanted to say that I had such a good time getting to know you all. These past three days… I thought would be… erm, well, they turned out great. And if it was in my power, I’d keep you all here. But I can only pick one of you – or stick with my current partner.”

Priya’s face twisted in disgust as she thought about Jakub. She wasn’t lying, she did have a great time with the new guys, they were of good distraction, bot CJ and Jamie, who slowly turned into a full-on bromance. But it didn’t change the fact that she’s been missing Bobby like insane, and seeing that video… it hit her hard.

Not because Bobby looked like he’s been hitting on girls – but because she was terrified that he received the same video of her, having a good time with the new arrivals. She was terrified that it’s been edited the way he thinks that she’s here, cracking on and that it’ll break his heart.

She took a deep breath and continued:

“And even though my current partner is just some random dude that Hope had manipulated into picking him, I’m going to stick with him.”

Priya flopped back down onto the bench ungracefully, and Kisa immediately wrapped one arm around her shoulders.

“You did great, you know it. Now, you only have one thing to do… Well, two actually.”

Priya looked at her.

“Wait for Bobby to arrive and do some bench-pressing, so your arms are nice and strong to sweep him…”

Priya didn’t let her finish, gathering Kisa into her arms and hugging tightly.

“Shut up, you,” The older girl whispered. “Fuck, I proper love you.”

Kisa’s phone buzzed on the bench between them, and Priya let go of her unenthusiastically.

She got up to her feet, looking at each boy in the line in turns, but avoiding looking at Kassam. She was serious earlier toning when she told Priya she didn’t have a choice. Her feelings – whatever those feelings were – didn’t matter at the end of the day.

Right now, she already had too much going on to even try and figure out what the hell is that she’s feeling. And most importantly, she didn’t want to know that.

Finally, she made herself look up and meet Kassam’s eyes.

With her mouth suddenly dry, she said quietly.

“I’m going to recouple.”


	21. In Love and War.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Secrets I have held in my heart  
> Are harder to hide than I thought  
> Maybe I just wanna be yours..."
> 
> [I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys]

“Oh my days, have you heard that?!” Chelsea whispered so loud it sounded like a shout.

“We’re all sitting right next to you,” Marisol rolled her eyes, squeezing Graham’s hand tightly. “We’ve heard exactly the same thing as you.”

They were all seated on the bench around the fire pit, waiting for the original boys to arrive. Out of all the girls, only Priya and Lottie decided to stick with their partners – and Kisa’s stomach was all in knots as she could sense the fallout that was bound to happen. Kassam’s arms were wrapped around Kisa’s waist gently, almost protectively, and it was the only thing that was keeping her from an actual breakdown.

She just didn’t want to see _him_ walking into the Villa with some random girl on his arm. She knew it was hypocritical and stupid, but she just didn’t want to know how easily he swapped her for someone else. But also, there was a part of her that was terrified by the thought that he might get back single.

_Why would he stay single? He’s got what he wanted, he doesn’t need me anymore._

Kisa felt Priya’s hand squeezing her knee, and her long nails dug into Kisa’s skin painfully.

“Someone’s coming,” Priya’s lips were barely moving as she spoke, her face drained of color completely.

Kassam bent over Kisa’s knees and glanced at the older girl with a look of certainty in his eyes.

“Bobby’s smitten with you, trust me. I’ve seen all those cavity-inducing Beach Hut confessions, and I’m honestly surprised he hadn’t broken back into the Villa.”

Priya laughed softly, sending him a grateful look, and Kisa smiled at the DJ, squeezing his hand. He had this ability to say the right things at exactly the right times, and he always meant what he said. His warm, slim body brought her comfort as she shuffled closer to him, one hand in his, another squeezing Priya’s thigh nervously.

Kisa both wished for this stupid recoupling to be over and to never begin, her head was in a million pieces, and she knew that after this evening is over, she’ll be broken no matter what.

Everyone looked up, and Kisa let out a sigh of relief as Bobby jumped over the last few steps and almost ended flat on his face. Next to her, Priya sobbed loudly and the next moment she flung herself into Bobby’s open arms.

Kisa’s heart got two sizes bigger as she cheered for them, clapping her hands together so hard her palms turned red.

“Wow, I feel like a tv-celebrity or something,” Bobby grinned at her when he and Priya pulled apart finally.

He walked over to Lottie to give her a brief hug and then turned to Chelsea.

“I’m happy for you,” He shook hands with Elijah and plopped on the bench between Priya and Kisa. He was just about to pull the girl into a hug when he realized that Kassam was with her.

“Oh,” His face changed slightly. “Hey, I see some new people here,” He extended his hand to shake hands with the DJ.

“Kassam.”

“Nice to meet you,” Bobby’s eyes darted to Kisa, and her breath got caught somewhere inside her throat, making her almost choke on air.

“Just tell me,” She wheezed out when he finally embraced her. “Please, I’m going insane here.”

Bobby’s breath burned the skin next to her ear when he opened his mouth to reply, but the sounds of the footsteps made them pull apart and stare at the couple walking down the stairs.

“No shit,” Priya scowled as she saw a girl next to Jakub.

“So, what does it mean for Priya and Bobby?” Lottie frowned. “Their partners switched.”

“Maybe this means they can couple up now?” Kisa caught blonde’s worried look.

“I swear, Hope if Bobby leaves because of you…”

Hope rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed, but before she could reply, they’ve heard approaching footsteps, again.

“This is too much of excitement,” Bobby nuzzled his face into the crook of Priya’s neck, and both of them went still.

Kisa’s stomach made backflips every time someone walked out of the Villa. Finally, Gary made his way downstairs, alone, and the only guy left was Lucas. Both Priya and Bobby clenched on her arm immediately, and Kassam’s hold of her waist tightened. He was just as terrified as she was, Kisa realized suddenly.

He swooped in, and she picked him over someone who wasn’t even there to fight for her, and now he had no idea how she’s going to feel about her decision when she sees the other man. Kisa placed her hand onto Kassam’s knee and squeezed it reassuringly. She’s made her bed, and now, it was time to lie in it.

She fixed her gaze on the stairs, but her skin was tingling from all the stares that were focused on her. Finally, she saw him.

Lucas made his way down the stairs, alone.

He didn’t switch.

His dark chocolate eyes turned black when he saw her with Kassam’s arm around her waist, and she felt a physical urge to move her body away from the DJ. Under this intense stare, her hand dropped from Kassam’s knee, hanging loosely by her side.

It seemed like she was watching him in a slow-motion. Every single move he made burned into her brain, and she knew that from now on, every time her eyes will fall close, she’ll see this exact moment. His face was an unreadable mask, no matter how hard she tried to figure him out, she just couldn’t, from the first time they’ve met, she just couldn’t crack his mystery.

He was a closed book, he didn’t let her in not even a bit, he gave her nothing to hang on to, so it was his own fault that she decided not to hang on at all, right?

Everyone was holding their breath, ready for the show.

_Why hadn’t he switched?_

Her mind just refused to believe that he came back single.

_At least, he’s safe, Lottie hadn’t switched either._

Finally, Lucas reached the firepit, eyes still locked on Kisa, and her only. Slowly, he raised an eyebrow at her, and the girl’s mouth went dry. He dragged his gaze to Kassam for a moment, and the arch in his brow went a bit higher as if saying “Really? Him?”, and it threw her off.

He wasn’t sad or angry, or jealous – it was just his pride that was hurt.

Without a word, he strode towards Lottie who looked relieved. They shared a quick hug and sat down together. No one spoke, and the silence seemed deafening. Usually, producers would encourage them to talk or otherwise react but now, no one told them what to do, so they all just sat there, staring at each other.

“This whole setup,” Priya’s quiet voice sounded too loud when she finally broke the silence. “It looks like a broken family portrait.”

Finally, they realized that everything is done, and now, each and every one of them had to face the consequences. Hesitantly, islanders started moving around, as most of them needed to have a chat with their former partners now.

“Priya,” Jakub’s voice was suddenly too close, and Kisa looked up. “Could we talk?”

“No.”

She said nothing more, turning away from him to kiss Bobby.

_At least, it’d worked out for them._

Kassam brushed Kisa’s cheek gently, catching her attention.

“I’ll talk to him,” He said quietly and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

A sudden wave of panic washed over her body when Kassam got up from the bench and made his way to the opposite side where Lucas and Lottie were. Kisa tried to close her eyes, but her body seemed to have a brain of its own and refused to follow orders. Her gaze was glued to two dark-haired men.

“Do you need us to interrupt?” Priya asked, following Kisa’s gaze. “Bobby isn’t much help in a physical confrontation, but I can always stop a fight by showing my boobs.”

Against her will, Kisa chuckled, thanking Universe for this woman.

“No, it’s not gonna get physical…”

“I wouldn’t be that sure,” Bobby blurted out, immediately clasping his hand over his mouth.

“What?” Kisa’s eyes were still fixed on Lucas and Kassam who now stood aside from everyone else.

“Nothing, nothing,” Bobby’s face flushed red.

Before she could interrogate him more, Noah appeared right before her, and she blinked, focusing her eyes at him.

“Could I have a word with you?” Librarian was frowning, throwing glances at Priya and Bobby. “Alone.”

“Are you speaking to me or Priya?” Kisa huffed. “Or maybe, you confused one of us for Hope? It’s hard to keep up with your entire harem, you know?”

Right now, Noah was the last person she cared about, as Lucas left Kassam alone and walked straight over to her, with a look on his face that Kisa could only describe as fury. Kassam trailed behind, a gobsmacked expression on his red face, and Bobby jumped to his feet, almost pushing Noah aside.

“Now isn’t the time, Noah,” Bobby’s voice was uncharacteristically serious. “Trust me, right now, you want to be anywhere but here.”

Kisa’s heart was already stammering out of her chest but after these words, it jumped into her throat, pulsing at her temples with pounding headache.

“Alright, mate?’ Bobby stepped between Lucas, Noah, and Kisa, placing his hand on the older man’s shoulder.

Everyone else was already leaving the firepit, but they stopped at the unfolding scene.

“Look around,” Bobby took a step closer to Lucas so only physio could hear his whisper. “You don’t want them to see you like that, right?”

Bobby’s words helped him take his anger under control, and Lucas nodded stiffly before turning to Kisa. Purposely, he ignored Noah and spitted through his clenched teeth. “A word. Now.”

He spun on his heel and marched off without looking back as if he knew that she’s going to follow him. Kisa got to her feet, avoiding everyone’s eyes, ready to follow Lucas when Kassam caught her in his arms.

“I don’t think you should talk to him right now,” His face was still red, but his voice was full of concern, and for a second, Kisa could breathe again, feeling safe in his soft embrace. “He needs to cool off.”

She shook her head slightly, knowing too well that Lucas won’t cool off. If she doesn’t find him straight away, he’s going to smolder until a sudden breeze picks up one of the sparks and sets this entire place ablaze. She knew it because she’d spent her lifetime dousing flames with all of her previous partners.

“No, it’s fine.”

“I don’t trust him to be alone with you.”

Kisa kissed him reassuringly before pulling away.

“Don’t worry, he won’t do anything to hurt me.”

That was a big, fat lie. She knew that whatever Lucas was going to tell her will wreck her because she’d managed to let him in deep enough for that. Every time he pulled, she followed, and every time she tried to push him, he dragged her even closer, and it was no one’s fault but her own. She let him do this to her, she let him make her feel what she never wanted to feel ever again: this sick desire – yearning – for someone who will never belong to her.

She walked upstairs like people climb the scaffold, her heart so heavy in her chest, she barely dragged her feet.

This sudden change in his demeanor kicked the ground from under her feet. He came in with that scoffing smirk, his exterior screaming “I can’t believe you picked a Ford over a Rolls-Royce”. And now, he was suddenly angry?

_He’s just fucking bipolar._

There weren’t too many places where he could’ve gone off to, and Kisa climbed the stairs leading to the roof terrace and took a deep breath, preparing for a deep dive into drama, and pushed the door open.

She went blind for a moment, waiting for her eyes to adjust to barely lit space, when someone’s hands grabbed at her shoulders, slamming the door shut behind her back.

Lucas locked the door and stared down at Kisa, his face twisted with anger, and a wave of heat coming from his body crushed against her, almost sweeping her off her feet. Kisa looked up at Lucas, spotting little flames at the bottoms of his now black eyes. His fingers dug deep into her shoulders, threatening to leave marks when he lowered his face to hers.

Like that, they were just staring into each other’s eyes, in absolute silence, mixing their uneven breaths. His grip was painful, but she hadn’t noticed it, too hypnotized by the two voids that his eyes were. None of them had any idea of how much time had passed before Lucas finally released Kisa’s shoulders and took a step back.

“Let’s talk,” She said quietly and walked to the bench.

Kisa took a seat in the corner and patted the space next to her, knowing that no one will be able to see them there. Lucas flopped down a few seconds later, keeping as much space between them as possible but his face still looked like it wasn’t enough. He switched so fast she could barely keep up.

Kisa massaged her temples, hoping that the pain will subside, and looked at the man before her.

“I’m sorry.”

Lucas huffed.

“You’re not.”

His annoyance passed to her, and Kisa rolled her eyes.

“Okay, yes, I’m not. I’m not sorry for picking someone who picked me, for once.”

Lucas stared at her like it was the first time he saw her. A splash from the pool caught their attention for a moment, and they both watch Elijah and Chelsea cannonball into the water. Chelsea’s high-pitched laughter filled the air, making Kisa grimace.

Finally, Lucas focused his eyes back on her.

“For once?” His voice was dangerously calm. “I’ve picked you over everyone, time after time,” He spoke through clenched teeth slowly.

“You weren’t picking _me_ all those times!” Kisa snapped. “You picked this wild girl that you could fuck on the bench in the middle of a fucking gym!”

She caught his look and shook her head.

“I told you that I didn’t want to sleep with you – but it didn’t mean I wanted to do any other stuff… And you…”

“What?” Lucas grabbed her shoulder. “I did what, exactly?”

She felt the corners of her eyes prickle with tears and squeezed her eyes, fighting the tears back. She couldn’t just say it, what he’s been pushing her to say.

She couldn’t say that he pushed her into breaking her own rules because it’d be too pathetic, it’d mean that she has no control over herself when he’s around, it’d mean that he fucking owned her. She _let_ him do whatever he wanted, he didn’t make her. That was the ugly truth that she’s been trying to hide from herself up until now – and he made her admit it, and she hated him for it.

“So, what is it, Kisa?” She never knew her name could sound so _venomous_. “What have I done to you?”

She hated him so much, her hand flew up to his face, stopping inches away from his face.

“Don’t hold yourself back,” A dark, grim smirk stretched his lips when he cut his eyes to look at her hand.

Kisa swallowed so hard her throat ached and lowered her hand, her breath ripped. She never lost her control like this, and that’s what he’s done to her.

“You…” She choked on her words, trying to recompose herself and failing miserably.

Two streams of hot tears ran down her cheeks, burning her eyes, blinding her as she jumped to her feet, almost stumbling into the wall behind her. _That_ ’s what he’s done to her, he fucking ruined her.

Kisa looked down at him with so much hate that the hair on his arms bristled.

“Stay away from me.”


	22. Trapped In Silk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you, SunflowersAreTall, were still reachable, I’d tell ya “sorry for how much you’ll hate me after this chapter” personally.  
> But since you’re being a bitch, you got this crappy note.
> 
> I hope everything is fine, and you’re fine, and I miss our chats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...She says she's dead, she doesn't even know why  
> She's afraid of feeling alive again  
> She's trying she's always fooling herself..."
> 
> [Dark Times - Scarlett Rose]

Kisa stormed out of the Villa with her blood boiling hot in her veins and her ears filled with white noise. Her head was spinning, and her vision got blurred, and she barely made out where she was going. The moment she got to the kitchen, Kisa grabbed a bottle of tequila, unscrewed the lid, and glugged on it until her throat and stomach burned.

She coughed hard, choking on the liquor as it got down the wrong way. She almost coughed out her insides until finally, she could breathe again.

That’s what he’d done to her.

He made her feel, and she hated every fucking second of it. She’d spent so much time trying to put herself back together after Alex, she’d learned to live with her pain and memories, she’d learned to talk to her ex without her heart and brain going into panic mode. To some, they could even seem like mates - even though she hated him so much, she’d learned not to let it rule over her life.

And then, he just fucking ruined her.

Kisa took another long swig and brushed the tears off her cheeks before someone could’ve come out of the villa to refill their water bottle and seen her like this. A complete mess. A lonely sad girl who just pretends to be tough, so she doesn’t get hurt. And yet, she did, she did get hurt, and now, she wasn’t sure how to continue with this farce that this show was.

Her anger subsided slowly, turning into something darker, stickier, gloomier.

Sadness. Hurt. She was so deeply wounded, she wondered why she wasn’t bleeding. Her head was a mess, her heart was in pieces, and _that_ ’s what he’d done to her.

With a bottle in her hand, Kisa went to the daybeds, feeling a desperate need to find a way to calm herself down before she joins everyone else for the night. Before she joins the guy that actually likes her.

Her thoughts drifted slowly, as she drank in silence. Kassam had been nothing but good to her, and he deserved the best, and damn her if she won’t do everything to be the best for him.

Someone’s footsteps snapped Kisa out of her thoughts, and she tilted her head up and squared her shoulders, prepared to fight off anyone if needed. It was just Bobby, and she let out a small sigh of relief, slumping her shoulders forward.

“Hey,” He flopped down next to her and grabbed the bottle out of her hand.

“Are we that close now?” Kisa joked. “You just take stuff from me without asking?”

“Aye, pretty much,” Bobby gave her a long studying look. “You’re so fucked.”

Kisa raised an eyebrow at him.

“You wanna talk ‘bout it?”

Besides Priya, Bobby was the only person she trusted here. But it was just not her thing, talking. The only person she let herself to talk to was Seth, and usually, he just knew what she’d been thinking anyway, so she didn’t have to get too deep… Kisa frowned, grabbing the bottle from Bobby’s hand.

She took another long swig, staring off into the distance.

He was right. She was fucked, this place fucked mentally the shit out of her.

“No, I really don’t want to,” She replied finally. “Honestly, I’d rather be talking about you and Priya.

Bobby’s face lit up with such a bright smile, Kisa’s heart melted just a little. Seeing him this infinitely happy made her just a bit happier herself.

“I’ve asked her if she wanted to be a thing.”

“A thing?” Kisa’s eyebrows arched involuntarily.

“A couple,” Bobby blushed. “Boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Baker’s eyes sparkled as Kisa pulled him into a tight embrace, wrapping her arms around Bobby’s neck. She felt the knot inside her chest loosen a little, and her heart finally stopped aching.

“You lucky fuck, you.”

Bobby chuckled into the top of her head, stroking Kisa’s back reassuringly. He loved seeing this soft side of her, the side she started showing to the rest of the world ever since she and Kassam got together – he trusted Priya on this one.

But he loved that little smile that played at the corners of her mouth when the DJ was around. He’d only watched them for a few minutes during the recoupling, but Bobby could see clearly that the guy was just exactly who she needed.

Even if it meant that she and Lucas were done.

Bobby frowned to himself, running his hand unconsciously through his hair. He and Lucas got close in the past few days and turned out, the older guy was a whole different person when Bobby got to know him. He was actually pretty funny, and he took care of him when baker felt like a wreck, and also, and Bobby had no idea what to do with this knowledge, Lucas was very well into Kisa.

Seeing his reaction during the recoupling was like watching awakening volcano: breathtakingly horrifying. Bobby surely couldn’t let it show, but he got just a little worried when Kisa left after Lucas- just a tiny part of him felt unsettled with them being alone together, now, when Lucas was furious.

“She used to teach martial arts,” Priya calmed him down. “Also, he wouldn’t hurt her, you know that. He’s not crazy.”

Producers almost dragged Kassam into the Beach Hut, so Bobby had no idea how’s the other guy coping, and now, he felt bad for not knowing what to say to make the girl in his arms feel a little better.

This might’ve been the longest embrace Bobby had ever shared, and he felt weirdly a _ccomplished_ , for that he managed to melt Kisa’s heart, that she saw him as her friend. Getting to know her was a wild ride, they went from her snapping at him for just the slightest criticism to her sobbing in his embrace… Sobbing?

“Oh, hey,” Bobby crooked his finger and used it to tilt Kisa’s head up. “Look at me.”

Two large green eyes stared at him, glistering with tears.

“It’s gonna be fine, I promise.”

She knew that nothing could've possibly been fine. How could it if she wasn't fine herself.

“I need to find Kassam,” Kisa sighed, unwrapping herself from Bobby’s arms. “He’s probably worried where I’d gone.”

She frowned to herself. Kassam deserved none of this shit, and she hated that being with her meant for him exactly this: putting up with all the hell that she knew was coming her way. Choosing him over Lucas was selfish, she was well-aware of that. She did it for herself, to soothe her aching heart, to have someone who makes her smile by her side. To be with someone who sees the world she sees it. To finally let down those fucking walls.

She was just so tired of being guarded all the damn time, she just wanted to be free, from her own self. From the past, that’s been haunting her for years. From fears. From all those things that Lucas had pulled back to freedom, again.

“He went to the Beach Hut after the recoupling,” Bobby noted. “I haven’t seen him after.”

Kisa’s brow furrowed a little but she nodded. Before they could continue, Priya’s voice echoed through the Villa.

“Guy! I’ve got a text!”

“That’s your girl,” Kisa grinned. “Good thing, she’d never get lost.”

Bobby chuckled, and they both went back inside.

With each step, the knot in Kisa’s stomach was tightening more and more, to the point she could barely swallow. She didn’t want to see Lucas right now – she just c _ouldn’t_ see him now.

Her eyes immediately scanned the room, filled with arguing couples: there were too many people and not enough beds. She purposely ignored Lottie’s corner bed, and her gaze found Kassam as he walked into the bedroom through another door. He spotted her, too, and she saw a look of relief in his eyes as if he’d almost expected to see her with _him_.

“Guys, the Hideaway is open,” Priya looked up from her phone. “My vote’s for Kisa and Kassam.”

She elbowed Bobby painfully on the ribs, and his eyes darted to Lucas for a second before he nodded.

“Agree.”

“Mine too,” Chelsea added hastily, her face blushing.

Kassam made his way to Kisa and weaved his arms around her waist protectively.

Hope rolled her eyes, ready to go off when Noah’s phone beeped.

“Public will vote for their favorite couples. Tomorrow, couples that received the least votes will be at risk of dumping.”

“What does it mean?” Marisol frowned. “There are people here who’re not even in couples, but they’re safe?”

“Looks like it,” Priya grinned at her. “Funny how the Universe works sometimes.”

She turned to Kisa.

“Go now.”

“If you say so… Mrs. McKenzie.”

Priya laughed and pulled Kisa into a cuddle.

“You know, you just whistle, and I’ll dump his ass.”

Keeping her eyes lowered, Kisa walked out of the bedroom, and Kassam followed her steps. Only when they got out of earshot from the others, girl stopped and turned to the DJ.

“You okay?”

He gave her a wry smile and a nod.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry. How are _you_?”

Through concern in his voice, she could also hear anxiety and unease, and again, she felt so guilty for putting him through all the mess that her life was. Kisa entwined their fingers and walked him slowly towards the Hideaway.

On any other given day, she’d given up on this for Priya and Bobby, but tonight… she just couldn’t even stand a thought of spending this night in the same room with Lucas. Hid mood affected her too much, whatever he’s been feeling, she felt it, too, and right now it would’ve been too much to handle. She just needed a break, if only for eight hours.

They entered the private room, immediately overwhelmed by the number of burning candles. There was an iced bottle of champagne and two glasses, and Kisa immediately grabbed the bottle and popped the cork. She filled their glasses and sat on the bed next to Kassam.

She was never good with toasts, so she just clanked their glasses and bottomed hers in a few long swigs, immediately feeling numbing dizziness. This was exactly what she needed, just to forget about everything.

“So, you glad I picked you?” Kisa chuckled darkly and reached out to refill her glass. “I bet you didn’t expect that shitstorm.”

Kassam gave her a long studying look.

“I knew that you were coupled with somebody else before I arrived.”

“Is that why you never asked me if I was going to pick you?” She knew that question didn’t make sense, but she had to ask it.

“No,” Kassam put his hand onto her shoulder. “I wanted it to be your decision, the one you’ve made without me affecting it in any way.”

There was an irony somewhere in that sentiment – Kassam didn’t want to have an effect on her, while _he_ had the entirety of it.

She put her glass down and looked at the man beside her intently. They’ve been together for just three days, but it seemed like she’d known him for years – and in a sense, she really did. Tentatively, Kisa leaned forward, awaiting his reaction, and Kassam wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling the girl closer.

Her gaze fluttered briefly to his lips and returned to his bright blue eyes, and his face flushed red.

Slowly, he lowered his head, closing the space between them with a soft, gentle kiss. Kisa’s eyes fluttered shut, and she parted her lips, deepening the kiss while her hands moved to his stomach, and throwing her leg over man’s thighs, straddling him.

His hands traveled from her back down to her hips, taking a firm hold of her, and Kisa murmured her approval into the kiss, sliding her hands under Kassam’s t-shirt. His lean body was warm and taut, and she lost herself in it, and in his lips on hers, and his tongue caressing hers.

She tugged at his t-shirt, and Kassam quickly yanked it off. She leaned over to start kissing his neck, and a quiet moan of pleasure escaped his mouth when her lips traveled up to his earlobe and her teeth grazed it gently.

He gasped a little when her nails raked up and down his bare chest, and put his lips to her shoulder, tracing a path of kisses to her collarbone and up the side of her neck.

It wasn’t enough, not even close.

Kisa pulled slightly away so she was looking him in the eyes again and caught one of his hands. She brought it to herself to place a lingering kiss onto his open palm and then guided it to slip one of the straps of her dress down her shoulder.

He swallowed hard when the silk fabric dropped lower, revealing more milky-white skin of her breast and a hard bud of her nipple.

“You sure?” He asked with his suddenly husky voice.

Instead of an answer, she pressed his palm to her breast, and they both stuttered at the new sensation. She took his other hand and guided it slowly up her thigh until his fingers reached the hem of her dress. She pushed his hand past it, and the blue eyes widened uncontrollably.

Sheepishly, he let his fingers caress the inner side of her thigh, brushing the junction between the thigh and hip, at the edge of her knickers. His heart was pounding out of his chest when he lowered his face to catch her nipple between his lips, sucking and licking gently, drawing little gasps out of Kisa’s mouth.

He still couldn’t believe she actually picked him, that he was here with her, just the two of them in a room full of candles… and cameras.

This thought stopped him dead.

“What is it?” The words came out of her mouth with a little whimper of frustration.

“The cameras…”

“I don’t care,” She leaned into him, but stopped, filling the stiffness in his body. “But…”

She pulled away slightly, staring into his eyes intently, and ran her fingers down her neck.

“If you…. don’t want….” Her fingertips circled her hard nipple and slowly moved across her chest as she shrugged off another strap of her dress and the silk fabric slipped down to her waist.

Now, both of her hands were slowly exploring her own body while her now pine-green eyes watched his reaction. Lazily, she traced her middle and index fingers from the hollow of her neck, between her breast and down her stomach.

She placed one of her hands onto his shoulder, taking a firm grip of it, while the fingers of her other hand drew patterns on his pare chest. His breath was ragged and stuttering when he watched her touching herself, and he couldn’t remember why he almost stopped her.

There was a thought about the cameras at the back of his mind, along with all the reasons why they shouldn’t do this. They’ve been together for just barely three days, it was not his usual pace, not even close. He kissed her on the first night, and now they were close to having sex, and it’s been happening too fast.

“You can tell me…”

He liked her a lot.

He came here because of her, there was no point in denying that. He just couldn’t imagine that she would like him back. And now, her body was on top of him, radiating hit and luring him into submission, and he wasn’t that much sure that he should resist her anymore.

Kisa leaned over and started kissing his neck, and behind his ear, and his cheeks flushed red. She spotted his reaction and smirked to herself, nibbling on his earlobe. His heart was fluttering in his chest when her hand on his shoulder clenched harder and she started grinding on him, her mouth still exploring the junction between his neck and shoulder.

He had to bite down on the inside side of his cheek to keep quiet, and it took all of his will not to let his hips buck up when she started moving against his hard length. She moved slowly but firmly against him, and even through the layers of fabric, he could feel the heat coming from her centre. Her breasts brushed against his chest every time she rolled her hips, and he was barely restraining himself.

“…To stop,” She finally finished her sentence, scratching his throat with her nails as her movements became just a little faster.

He was so painfully hard, he had to do something to ease the pressure on his throbbing dick, but she continued moving on him, making him even harder, even though he didn’t think it was possible at that point.

Kisa’s voice was flowing into him, washing away any reasonings, giving way to uncontrollable desire. One of her hands moved down his body until it reached the waistband of his jeans.

“So,” She whispered. “Do you want me to stop?”

With a low, desperate moan, he crushed their bodies together, covering Kisa’s mouth with his in a hot, messy kiss, almost mashing their lips. His body felt like a cocked gun, each little nerve naked and high.

Her hand slipped into his jeans and wrapped around his dick, pulling a groan out of him. He’s never met anyone like her, no one ever made him feel like this like he could explode from just one touch. He pushed the girl onto her back reaching for the bowl with condoms and stopped for a second, looking deeply into her eyes.

“You sure?” He asked through his hitched breaths, and instead of words, she pushed her hips up to rub against him.

Her silk dress was flowing between them, making their bodies slip over each other as if it’s been trying to catch them in a trap when Kassam finally sunk inside of the green-eyes girl. He stopped for a moment to let her adjust, and her eyes fell shut.

She felt some strange relief letting him take control over how fast or slow it’s going to be, just relaxing into his movements, feeling nothing but this _calmness_ , as if her mind and body finally stopped fighting against each other. She could just let herself let those guards down, she wasn’t _terrified_ of being with him because she knew that he wanted the person she was, not the snarky bitch she pretended to be. He wanted her, and that was enough.


	23. Where Is My Mind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish there was enough space to thank all the amazing people I've met on this website, all the talented writers and my readers, without your constant encouragement, I don't think I would've continued writing after YCW was done. It's for your love and support that I'm still here, coming up with new crazy ideas.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy the second half of the chapter, and if you don't, blame Kat who encouraged me to go for it😈

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Come with me  
> There are people who cannot speak  
> Without smiling
> 
> But they would take me from your hand  
> Or they would try, they would try..."
> 
> [Wisp - Winter Aid]

It was still dark outside when Kisa woke up from a strange feeling of emptiness. No one’s hands were wrapped around her, suffocating her, and it didn’t feel right. She cut her eyes to look at the person next to her, and finally, the reality hit her.

She was in the Hideaway, with Kassam, who preferred to have his own space, just like she herself. She _did_ prefer to have her own space, right?

Kisa carefully lowered her feet to the floor and grabbed her PJs. She never lied in, and she didn’t feel like staying in bed now. Quietly, she left the Hideaway and walked outside, shivering with cold, and made her way to the kitchen. She spotted Bobby and Priya on the daybed, snuggled into each other, and her lips curled into a little smile.

She started the coffee machine and propped herself up to sit on the counter. It was so quiet and peaceful, she didn’t want to ruin this moment with her thoughts. She just wanted to stay in this moment for as long as she could.

“Morning, sweetheart,” Lucas’ voice almost made her jump.

Kisa looked over her shoulder, watching him approach her slowly. He looked like he’d barely slept, with his hair ruffled and two deep bags under his eyes, he looked almost… normal. Like he was an actual human being.

She shook it off and scowled.

“I thought we already had this conversation. Do not call me a sweetheart.”

For the first time, he’s heard an actual despise in her voice, and it made Lucas stop in his tracks. Unlike any other time he used this word, now, she was angry, actually angry, without that flirty little twist.

“Is there a story behind or you just hate random words?”

He stopped just before her.

“That’s none of your business,” She hissed through her clenched teeth. “What do you want, anyway?”

“Coffee.”

Lucas gave her a long studying look and then turned to the coffee machine.

“Perfect, you’re already making it.”

“I’m not making it for you. It’s for Priya and Bobby.”

“Oh, as a congratulation gesture?”

Kisa narrowed her eyes at him.

“You know?”

“Bobby told me last night,” Lucas shrugged. “He would’ve done it earlier if Casa hadn’t happened.”

He walked over to the coffee machine and busied himself with it, giving Kisa a chance to catch her breath. Only when he turned away from her, she realized that she was holding her breath through the entire conversation as if scared that inhaling his scent might do something to her. She hated the scent of his skin, hated how intoxicating it was, and how her body reacted to it.

And she hated how calm he was when she was struggling to keep her composure.

His last night’s anger seemed to disappear completely, he was so cool and collected, no one would even think he was capable of all those emotions he showed her at the roof terrace. And again, his mood switches left her swaying, and Kisa felt burning anger spreading through her veins.

“Here,” Lucas added milk into her mug and put it next to her thigh.

She looked at it and then traced her gaze to the other two mugs that he’d prepared for Bobby and Priya, and to the mug in his hand.

“See you around, Kisa.”

He wandered off without looking back, and she almost sent her mug flying across the kitchen. He did nothing to piss her off, but somehow his calmness made her mad, and she hated it. There were so many things she hated about him, she couldn’t even understand how she managed to _almost_ like him at one point.

She took a large gulp, hating even the fact that he made a perfect cup of coffee for her, and she still couldn’t enjoy it.

Kisa slipped off the counter, took two steaming mugs, and slowly walked towards the daybeds. The sun was finally up, and its bright rays were playing in Priya’s long waves of hair when the younger girl carefully lowered herself on another daybed. She put both mugs on the decking, letting the smell of coffee wake her friends up.

“Bobby,” Priya’s sleepy voice sounded muffled from under the duvet.

“What,” He replied from under the blankets.

“Someone’s making coffee.”

“And?”

“I want coffee. Make them share.”

Bobby stirred under the duvet.

“Is this how it’s going to be? A lifetime of you ordering me left and right?”

Kisa couldn’t hold back a chuckle, and the couple went quiet for a second before Priya’s head peaked from under the blankets.

“Oh, Kisa.”

Bobby sat up next to his girlfriend, rubbing his eyes with his fists.

“Morning, lovebirds,” Kisa handed them both their mugs and leaned back on her elbows. “Slept well?”

Priya rolled her eyes.

“With this one? He kept me up all night, and if you think it’s a good thing, think again. He’s been starfishing all over me.”

Kisa’s heart swollen a little in her chest as she watched them together. They were so obviously happy and in love, they were this love story no one writes books about. They were real, and flowed, and not fairy-tale – but they were the best thing she’d seen since her grandparents passed away. They were… forever. She just knew it.

“Hey,” Priya bent over to catch her chin with her crooked forefinger. “You okay?”

She was, wasn’t she? She’d spent the night with someone who truly cared for her, and just less than half an hour ago she felt absolutely fine. And now… now, she didn’t know what she felt.

“Yeah,” Kisa nodded. “I’m gonna make coffee for Kas… I’ll see you two in a bit.”

She wandered off, glad for the excuse to not talk to them about her feelings. She loved them both, and she trusted them as much as she possibly could trust two strangers she’d met three weeks ago, but it wasn’t her – talking about feelings.

Her mug was still sitting on the counter, and Kisa took another sip of barely warm coffee. Maybe, barely warm wasn’t that bad, after all?

She got back into the Hideaway while Kassam was still sleeping and sat carefully on his side of the bed and studied his face for a long moment. He looked peaceful like there wasn’t a single care in the world, and her lips curled into a little smile uncontrollably as she remembered the times when they’d fall asleep together after a party. Could she imagine being here, with him, back then?

She put the mug onto a side table and then leaned over him and kissed his shoulder.

“Hey,” He opened his eyes and smiled sleepily at her.

“Hey,” Kisa smiled back at him. “Slept well?”

He nodded, sniffing the air, and she chuckled before passing him the mug.

“Thank you,” He took a few large sips. “You’re always up so early.”

“Lucky for you,” She nodded. “If I wasn’t, who’d made you coffee?”

“I’m the luckiest,” Kassam nodded, running his fingers up and down Kisa’s arm.

He put the mug down and pulled her into himself until her head was resting on his chest, and his hands started threading through her hair. Finally, her mind slowed down, and she felt that peacefulness again. It was just so easy, being around him, with him. She knew all his thoughts, she didn’t have to keep on guessing. She knew how he felt about her, and she knew what he wanted from her. Everything was just so easy, _effortless._

Kisa tilted her head a bit to look up at him, and Kassam met her gaze with a soft smile.

“What?” He asked gently.

“Nothing really,” She felt a sudden wave of guilt washing over her. She didn’t know where it came from, but she rushed to push it aside – she’d done nothing to feel guilty about. “I just want you to know that I’m glad we both are here.”

He gave her a quizzical look and nodded slowly.

“Me too.”

***

“Okay, you lot,” Priya just finished reading text. “So, spin the bottle. Sounds pretty self-explanatory, right?”

It was already hot as hell, and no one wanted to do another challenge. Most of the people didn’t even want to be in one physical space with each other right now, so naturally, show producers decided to stir things up by making them kiss one another.

“Pucker up, ladies,” Bobby pouted his lips, and immediately received nudges from Kisa and Lottie. “Oi! That was unnecessary and painful!” He turned to Kisa. “And you, out of all people! Knowing the magic that my lips are!”

A few people chuckled, and Lucas raised his eyebrows.

“Damn, now I feel like I’m missing out!”

“Mate, you sure are!” Bobby wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “I know just the way to fix it for you though.”

“I’m not that drunk,” Lucas shot Bobby’s line right back at him, and baker snorted with laughter.

“Ahem,” Hope’s irritated voice made everyone look at her. “This conversation is riveting, but can we start with the challenge? I want to go back inside and stand under the AC until the heat subsides.”

For the first time, everyone agreed with Hope, and Gary clasped his hands together.

Bobby’s phone beeped.

“I guess, I’m going first.”

He spun the bottle and got Chelsea who looked back at Elijah for a moment before wrapping her arm uncertainly around Bobby’s shoulder and tiptoed to meet his lips. She then spun Noah, and Noah got Marisol, and then, Kisa stopped following. It was too hot to even be awake, and she dozed off for a few long minutes.

The new girl, Blake, took the turn and spun Noah. Hope rolled her eyes but said nothing, clenching onto Carl’s hand. She smirked and walked up to him to give him an over the top stage kiss.

“Something to think about,” She winked at him and sauntered back to her place.

Noah spun Shannon, and it was brief and unpassionate, and both of them looked awkward.

Kisa’s mind wandered off again, as she watched the game heating up slowly. She wanted to know more about these new girls – but she wasn’t the one to approach people first, and they didn’t seem too interested in talking to her, either. Blake never even said ‘hi’ to her, and Shannon only thanked her when Kisa passed her a towel when they bumped into each other in the bathroom.

_It’s not like I’ve played a welcoming committee for them._

Elijah went next and the bottle pointed at Kisa. Immediately, her eyes darted to Chelsea who tried hard to look unbothered.

_Surely, she knows that I remember that kiss during Snog, Marry, Pie._

Kisa had to physically shake it off: that challenge was history, and she didn’t care about who kissed _him_. She gave Elijah a brief peck and then walked to the giant bottle and gave it a calculated spun.

“Oh, you’re still good at it,” Kassam smirked when the bottle pointed at him.

“Good at what?” Bobby mused.

“I’m good at everything, thank you very much,” Kisa grinned, coiling Kassam’s neck with her arms.

She kissed him softly on the lips, letting the kiss pick up the pace slowly until his tongued brushed against hers. He tasted faintly of mint and lemons, and he smelled like a sea breeze, and for a few long moments, she was back in Dubai, back where she was still happy.

“You really are good at everything,” He smiled gently against her mouth before pulling away. “Guess, I’m up next.”

Kassam got Priya, and they both giggled all the way through it.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Marisol scowled. “We get it, you all are fucking unicorns.”

“I didn’t hear anyone asking for your comments, Marisol,” Priya snapped back and spun the bottle angrily, almost wishing for it to point at Graham.

She gasped when it stopped at Lucas and send Kisa a quick look. The younger girl shrugged and rolled her eyes, but her insides almost froze as she watched the two of them getting closer. Lucas didn’t even look at her before bringing Priya’s body closer, and it reminded Kisa of how Bobby went about their kiss during the Snog, Marry, Pie challenge. It was passionate but quick, and it was clearly good.

Kisa frowned at her own thoughts: she couldn’t care less if it was good or not. She almost switched off when the bottle pointed at Bobby.

“Mate, you’re so lucky,” Bobby grinned at Lucas, taking a step forward. “Your dreams about to come true.”

Luca huffed.

“Such a big talk for a little guy,” He looked down at Bobby with that smoldering look, and baker’s face went a deep shade of red.

“Pshh,” Bobby cocked his head. “You’re bigger by three inches.”

“And that’s what he said!” Priya squealed, sending everyone into a burst of laughter. “I’m expecting a good show, boys, after all that talk,” She added, winking at Bobby.

Against her own will, Kisa’s eyes glued to two men in the center of the circle. Suddenly, Lucas’ gaze wandered and he caught her looking at him and smirked, licking his lips.

_For fuck’s sake._

She rolled her eyes but kept watching him and Bobby getting closer, until Lucas’ arm wrapped imperiously around baker’s waist. It was almost as if she watched it in slow motion, and it almost knocked her off her feet, how much she wanted to switch places with Bobby.

Baker’s hand rested on Lucas’ shoulders when he finally closed the space between them. Lucas smirked and crooked his finger to coax Bobby’s chin closer, finally pressing his slightly parted lips against Scot’s. Their lips moved slowly, deliberately until a few seconds later Bobby pulled away slightly, grinning at the other guy.

“Well, I guess, we’re both lucky.”

“Yeah, I’ll keep your number just in case,” Playfulness in Lucas’ voice was something new, almost alien, but it suited him so well.

“That was weirdly hot,” Lottie noted when physio took his place next to her.

“I might write a fanfic about it,” Priya smirked at Bobby as he took his turn spinning the bottle.

Kisa rested her head on Kassam’s shoulder, watching the game lazily. It was a weirdly calm and drama-free afternoon, and everyone somehow managed to keep it light-hearted. She got to kiss Graham, Lottie, and Jacub before Kassam got a text announcing the end of the challenge.

“So, who won?” Marisol wondered. “It’s a challenge, after all.”

Another phone beeped.

“We should all vote for the best kisser,” Noah read. “Two winners will be rewarded with a special treat.”

Kisa rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, those hideous ice lollies.”

“Hey!” Bobby flung his hands up. “Since you don’t like them, I expect you to share - in case you win.”

“Well, we all know who Bobby’s voting for,” Gary smirked. “Anything for the lolly, right Bobbo?”

A few people chuckled, but baker only stuck his tongue out at Gary.

“You’re just jealous you never got the taste of my magic lips.”

“I’m gonna throw up if I ever hear the words magic lips again,” Marisol scowled.

Kisa looked down at her screen, chewing on her lip, annoyed with her own self.

_It’s just a fucking challenge, it’s only for fun. I’m not nominating one of them for the Noble._

It shouldn’t have been too difficult – all she had to do was to type the name and hit ‘‘send’, and she wanted to slap herself for overthinking this. Everyone else was done, and she typed the name fast, almost without looking, and sent the message.

“I know, who I voted for,” Priya threw her arm around Kisa’s shoulders.

“I’m right here, woman,” Bobby rolled his eyes in mock exasperation.

“I thought you’re not a jealous type,” Priya batted her eyelashes at him innocently. “I don’t mind sharing you with your new boy crush.”

Lucas sniggered.

“That’s such a generous offer.”

Kassam looked down at Kisa.

“Hey,” He stroked her cheek gently. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” She smiled back at him, feeling the soft tingling on her skin where he was touching her. “Just tired.”

He lowered his face to hers and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Better?”

She pulled on a thoughtful expression.

“Hmm… I can’t tell yet.”

Kassam grinned and kissed her again, now, on her cheekbone.

“Still not sure.”

He moved his lips to the corner of her mouth, and she felt him smile.

“Slightly better,” She whispered into space between them, and he finally covered her mouth with his, kissing her gently and longingly.

“Okay, now, that’s better,” She smirked at him as he pulled away.

Priya’s voice broke the moment.

“Guys, Villa’s best kissers are… what the fuck? Bobby and Lucas. Your treats are waiting in the kitchen.”

“Fair voting in action,” Lucas grinned and suddenly looked at Kisa, as if asking for which of them she voted, and she just shrugged, turning away to follow Kassam back inside.

Before anyone could leave, Lottie’s phone buzzed. With a frown, blonde looked down at the screen.

“The results of public vote will be announced in two hours. It's a dumping."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	24. Hard Dreams.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ❣️VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED❣️
> 
> ❣️If you're not comfortable with any of the following, feel free to skip this chapter as it's just a one-shot that a couple of people wanted to see, and I pushed myself to write as an exercise. 
> 
> ❣️THIS IS NOT a part of the story, it's just a little dream that won't have any effect on the plot and/or mentioned further in the story, this chapter exists only for entertainment purposes only. 
> 
> ❣️Again, if you don't care for any of these tags, feel free to skip to the next chapter:
> 
> group sex, lesbian sex, same-sex/gay kissing, partner swapping, voyeurism, all sorts of sex, including but not limited to hand jobs, blow jobs, and all those jobs except your boring 9 to 5.
> 
> ENJOY 😈

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🍂 Thank you Tori for requesting this (well, not exactly *this* but I hope you still like it.)  
> 🍂 Izzy, more Bucas(?) Lobby(?) moments in this one.  
> 🍂 Kim, your dream/parallel realities idea is brilliant and thank you for letting me use it.  
> 🍂 Kat, I don’t think I can say smth new at this point. Djdhdhdj you djdjdjd sheidisdndj so much.
> 
> 🍁 Suchi, thank you for all 38472 times you’ve said that this little thing MUST be written. Your constant encouragement is... everything 💋

Something woke Bobby up. He cracked his eyes open just to stare into the darkness of the night. His hand automatically felt the space next to him searching for Priya, but this time he only found empty space. Frowning, he sat up straight, rubbing his eyes with his hands to chase away the sleep.

Feeling his way out of the communal bedroom, he slowly climbed the stairs, trying to focus his blurred vision. His head was still heavy, and his feet almost dragged as he walked, tracing his hand over the wall for stability.

He walked outside, shivering from cold air. The full moon was looking down at him and for a second, he saw this clear vision of himself, standing at the rooftop terrace, looking up at the moon that somehow took a shape of a girl with long flaming locks of hair and emerald-green eyes.

Bobby shook this image off and stepped into the kitchen to have a glass of water. Suddenly, a gust of wind brought an echo of a woman’s laugh. Bobby would’ve recognized this voice anywhere, anytime, and his heart filled with overwhelming tenderness. Smiling to himself, Bobby made his way back upstairs and quietly walked through the bedroom and up the staircase and pushed the rooftop door open.

“Oh, Bobby,” Lucas gave him an up-nod.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Priya asked softly, patting the space on the decking next to her.

“Same question,” He grinned and flopped down on a cushion next to her. “Could’ve woke me up.”

Kisa reached for a bottle of tequila and filled one of the glasses.

“Less talking more drinking, Bob.”

“Bob?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “I’ve never heard you calling me that.”

Lucas rolled his eyes, resting his head against the bench. He dragged his gaze from Bobby to Priya and then to Kisa and waved his hand lazily. Bobby’s brain was working too slow, and it took him a few long moments to figure out what was wrong with the picture.

“Where’s Kassam?” He leaned into Priya and whispered quietly.

She shrugged.

“Sleeping, probably. Why do you care?”

Bobby squinted his eyes to see more clearly and nodded slowly: Priya was right. He liked the DJ and he liked watching how Kisa was constantly smiling when he was around – but if she was fine drinking without him, so was he.

Bobby frowned to himself, realizing, that he could barely formulate his thoughts even inside of his head. He bottomed his glass, wincing: surely, there was no lime since it was Kisa who played the bartender.

It seemed like no one was keen on carrying on with the conversation anymore. Lucas was sitting facing Bobby, and his hand was drawing sloppy shapes on Kisa’s naked thigh. She bent over and took hold of Bobby’s hand that was still squeezing the glass and refilled it. Her fingers were warm and soft, and her thumb caressed the back of his hand as she slowly poured the liquor.

“I need a refill, too,” Priya said lazily, beckoning Kisa over with her crooked finger.

“Open wide,” Kisa smirked as the older girl threw her head slightly back and parted her lips.

Hypnotized, Bobby watched Kisa as she slowly approached his girlfriend, holding the bottle with one hand and using another to coax Priya’s face closer. She brought the bottle closer to the other girl's face and propped up on her knees, towering above her. Slowly, she let the liquid flow out of the bottle, filling Priya’s mouth until she decided it was enough and said quietly:

“Swallow.”

This soft, calm order made the hairs on Bobby’s arms stand on ends, and his eyes found Lucas involuntarily as if to check that he wasn’t the only one affected by Kisa’s suddenly alluring tone of voice. The older man was watching girls lazily, his body relaxed completely against the bench.

“More?” Kisa asked softly.

“Yes, please.”

Everything seemed surreal. Bobby looked around but the world seemed to narrow down to the size of the roof terrace, and he couldn’t see anything but the people next to him and the full moon hanging just above them. He moved his gaze back to the girls, and his eyes widened. Kisa was sitting in the older girl’s lap, her long legs straddling her things, as she took a gulp from the bottle and lowered her face to Priya’s.

She took a gentle hold of the other girl’s chin, pressing her thumb to her lower lip making her open her mouth. With their eyes locked, Kisa propped up on her knees again, and her stomach brushed against Priya’s breasts, eliciting a quiet gasp.

Finally, she parted her lips, and the first drop of liqueur touched Priya’s tongue. Almost in slow-motion, Kisa let the rest of tequila slip down the older girl’s throat while her fingers were holding Priya’s jaw, not letting her swallow. Bobby could hear his girlfriend gasp as if there was suddenly no air left in her lungs.

“I-Is it just me or this is weird?” His tongue barely moved in his mouth when he shuffled closer to Lucas who seemed absolutely indifferent to everything that was happening before his eyes.

“Weird?” Physio repeated, turning his head to look at Bobby with his dark-brown blazing eyes, and for a second, baker’s breath stuttered from the intensity of this stare. “How?”

Bobby leaned back against the bench, trying to gather his thoughts, but suddenly, he couldn’t remember what he was just about to say.

Priya’s arm snaked its way around Kisa’s waist, pulling her closer, and finally, their lips touched, sending little prickles of goosebumps over Priya’s body. She let a soft sigh of relief escape her mouth when the younger girl pressed herself into her body, winding her fingers through the dark burgundy strands of Priya’s hair, pulling on it slightly.

A sudden wave of heat washed over Bobby’s skin, and his tongue flicked to wet his lips unconsciously as he watched Kisa lowering Priya on the decking and hovering over her, without ever breaking their kiss. She grabbed both of the older girl’s wrists, pinning her hands above her head effortlessly.

Priya moaned gently, arching herself up into Kisa’s body, and the green-eyed girl chuckled into their kiss, slipping her free hand under Priya’s silk top to caress her stomach.

Hypnotized by their slow movements, he barely had a chance to register the way his body reacted to the picture before his eyes. His breath hitched when Priya’s hand moved from Kisa’s waist to her bare leg, drawing semi-circles over her thigh, and her other hand tugged on the bottom of her long sleeping shirt.

Bobby swallowed hard when Kisa straightened above the older girl and yanked her shirt off in one deft movement. Her alabaster skin was almost glowing under the moonlight, and her eyes sparkled when she turned her head to the boys.

“Keep yourself entertained,” She said, dragging her gaze from Lucas to Bobby. “He wouldn’t shut up about that kiss all day long, you know?”

Bobby’s face flushed red.

“Is that so?” He asked in a suddenly raspy voice, especially aware of the presence of the older man right now.

“Yeah,” Kisa lazily traced her hands up Priya’s body, slowly rolling her satin top up, and the older girl arched herself up, letting her take it off completely. “I’ve got to admit, Priya is a lucky, lucky girl,” Her fingers slowly moved up and down Priya’s stomach. “You could teach him a thing or two,” She nodded at Lucas. “For future use.”

She lowered her head to kiss between Priya’s breasts, done with the conversation.

“Well,” Lucas leaned into him, resting his hand casually on Bobby’s thigh. “Teach me a lesson.”

His breath ghosted on Bobby’s cheeks, sending little goosebumps all over his body. Lucas smelt of cedarwood, patchouli, and tequila mixed with Kisa’s perfume, and Bobby sucked the air in when he leaned closer, brushing his fingers across the baker’s shoulders. In half-daze, the younger man pushed his body forward, stopping just a millimeter away from Lucas’ face to throw a glance at the girls.

Now, Priya was straddling Kisa’s hips, her lips dragging sluggishly down other girl’s neck, across her collarbone, leaving a path of open-mouth kisses. Her hand moved from Kisa’s thigh up her body, and the green-eyed girl arched into her touch when Priya’s fingers found the hard bud of her nipple.

With the fingers splayed on Bobby’s cheek, Lucas coaxed baker’s face closer and pressed his lips softly against his mouth. Bobby couldn’t help it and reached out to put his slightly shaking hand on the older man’s chiseled chest, running his fingers softly over his heart in semi-circles. Lucas’ hand wrapped around the back of his neck while his other grabbed him by the waist, pulling their bodies even closer, removing any space between them.

Bobby’s hard cock twitched in his pajama pants under this forceful touch, making him moan slightly into Lucas' mouth. Physio grinned into the kiss, running his tongue softly against Bobby’s upper lip, and baker parted his lips obediently, tasting strawberry and tequila. A sudden impulse pushed him to slip his hand from Lucas’ chest to his abs, and he felt muscles twitch under his touch.

He pressed his mouth harder against Lucas’ and now, it was he who grinned at a gasping noise the other man let escape from his mouth. Bobby’s hand slowly moved from other man’s stomach to his thigh, his fingers fluttering just at the edge of Lucas’ shorts while his tongue explored older man’s mouth lustfully, almost demandingly.

A loud moan made Bobby’s eyes flutter open, and he stopped kissing Lucas for a second to glance at the girls. Physio used this short break to drag his lips across Bobby’s jawline and down his neck, leaving small bites as his mouth traveled further down to the hollow of baker’s throat.

With her head thrown back against the terrace ledge, Kisa was sitting on the bench, her long, almost black in this lighting hair framing her face and running down her chest and stomach. Her long legs were resting over Priya’s shoulders as she moved her mouth further up, leaving a trail of wet kisses on alabaster skin.

Bobby’s breath stuttered with a lump in his throat as his girlfriend finally reached Kisa’s silk hip-huggers and hooked her thumbs under the waistband. Green-eyes girl pushed her hips up, and Priya yanked the knickers down her legs and cast it away. Lucas’ teeth sunk into the crook of Bobby’s neck the moment older girl licked a sloppy stripe against Kisa, drawing another croaked moan out of her, and this combination of sensations made baker’s body arch into a bow almost against his will.

With a groan, he pushed Lucas back against the bench and threw his leg over his thighs, straddling him and pressing his dick against the other man’s cock. It was maddening, how fucking desperately he rolled his hips, grinding against the physio, needing some sort of friction just so he doesn’t explode. Lucas's hand flew to his neck, coiling his fingers tightly around it as the older guy kissed across Bobby’s chest and suddenly sucked his nipple between his teeth and bit down.

“Fuck-”

Bobby’s muffled groan was cut short when Lucas’ mouth found his again, rough and dominative, kissing him almost painfully for a long minute before physio’s hands grabbed at Bobby’s waist unceremoniously, twisting his body until baker was seated between Lucas’ legs, his back pressed against older man’s chest.

Lucas’ hard cock was pressed against the small of Bobby’s back, and it sent jolts of electricity up and down baker’s spine, making him shudder involuntarily. Slowly, Lucas’ hand ran up Bobby’s arm, making the tiny hairs bristle.

“Watch,” Older man pressed his thumb into the back of his neck, making Bobby’s head tilt slightly forward.

He did as he was told, watching the girls from under his heavy lids, while Lucas’ hand was tracing patterns over his chest and stomach lazily, nails digging slightly into taut muscles.

Priya grabbed Kisa’s hips and pulled her closer until her face was between the younger girl’s legs, and pushed her legs wide open, spreading her like a butterfly. Kisa’s hand snaked into the long strands of Priya’s hair, pulling it impatiently. With soft laughter, Priya ran her long fingers with almond-shaped nails along the inner side of Kisa’s leg, and her black nail polish contrasted brightly against the younger girl’s skin.

Kisa whined pleadingly, almost pushing herself onto Priya’s face, and the older girl pressed both of her hands harshly against Kisa’s spread legs, keeping her in place.

“Patience,” She murmured before running her tongue up Kisa’s slit, drawing a desperate moan out of the younger girl.

She had to press her hands even harder to restrain Kisa’s frantic movements.

“On the second thought,” She let her tongue circle Kisa’s clit slowly before continuing, “I rather enjoy you begging.”

Lucas’ fingers caught Bobby’s nipple and pinched hard, making baker gasp and arch into the touch, his eyes still glued to his girlfriend, lapping gently on Kisa, too slow to give the release Kisa needed, but too good for the green-eyed girl to calm down even just a bit.

“Oh, fuck, please,” Her ragged breath was coming out of her mouth along with the words.

“Please what?” Priya hummed against her, slipping her tongue inside the other girl, her hands are still pressing Kisa’s legs to the bench. “You’ve got to be more specific.”

Kisa huffed, suddenly freeing herself from Priya’s grip, and wrapped her legs around older girl’s neck.

“Now, is that specific enough?” She tightened her legs around Priya’s neck almost grinning, when suddenly two of Priya’s fingers slid inside of her, making her whine at sudden fulness.

Bobby’s dick was achingly hard, and hearing them, watching them, feeling Lucas’ hands roaming his body – everything got too much to handle, he needed something, he desperately needed to touch himself, to release some of the pressure. Lucas leaned over to whisper into his ear, ghosting his hot breath on the skin behind baker’s ear:

“It’s just so fucking hot, isn’t it?” His teeth grazed Bobby’s earlobe teasingly, making the younger man moan quietly. “Go ahead, Bobby, touch yourself.”

In a whirlwind of haze, Bobby’s hips pushed up, and Lucas helped him push his pajama pants down, freeing his cock finally. A low sigh of relief escaped baker’s mouth when his hand wrapped around his hard almost throbbing length, stroking it firmly.

Kisa’s eyes slowly traveled from the moon to Priya’s head bobbing between her legs and then to two men a few feet apart from her. She caught Lucas’ gaze first, propping herself on one elbow to see better, and slowly ran her finger between her breasts, arching her back slightly, bucking her hips further up before locking her eyes with Bobby.

His already burning face turned a deeper shade of burgundy when she sucked her middle finger deep into her mouth, and her cheeks hollowed, and he could only think what she’d looked like with her lips wrapped around his dick.

As if reading his mind, Lucas raked his fingers up Bobby’s thigh almost gently and whispered: “Go join them, Bobby.”

His deep, sultry voice made Bobby’s cock twitch in his hand, and he let out a ragged moan, pumping himself slowly. His vision got blurred as he tilted his body forward to crawl closer to the girls. His hands came to rest on Priya’s hips and she straightened her back to turn to him and give him a kiss, her fingers still fucking the younger girl. Her tongue slipped inside of her boyfriend’s mouth, letting him taste someone else as the kiss deepened immediately.

His body almost exploded when Priya’s hand wrapped around his dick roughly, eliciting a low growl out of his throat. He wanted her – _them_ – so badly, it was almost impossible to keep himself somewhat in control. As if feeling his impatience, Kisa slowly pushed herself up, now sitting on the bench, looking at him with her darkened eyes, Priya’s fingers still pumping in and out of her.

“Stand up,” She ordered, her strict voice almost made Bobby come, and he hurried to comply, almost tripping over his pajama bottoms.

”Take it off,” She nodded at his pants, and he hastily took them off, one leg at a time, gripping on Priya’s shoulder for stability.

“Look, how obedient he is,” Kisa chuckled darkly, darting her eyes to Priya. “Such a good boy.”

Without a warning, she pushed herself forward, until her face was mere inches away from Bobby’s cock, and then slid onto her knees gracefully, wrapping her long slender fingers around his length. He looked down at her hand, alabaster skin contrasting with his, and almost cried when she pushed her mouth onto him, her lips wrapped tightly around him.

“Fuck-“ His hand slid into her hair, winding loose strands through his fingers so he could control her movements.

Her fingers were still wrapped around the base of his dick, not allowing him to deep throat her as he wished, and his hips bucked forward pleadingly. She chuckled, and it sent vibrations through his entire body, almost throwing Bobby over the edge. Her fingers tightened around him, and she dragged her teeth teasingly over his length.

“You wanna taste?” She looked at Priya, using her other hand to pull the older girl closer for a messy kiss before guiding her face to Bobby’s cock.

He almost choked when his girlfriend’s lips wrapped around his length, taking him fully. His tip pressed against the back of her throat, and she swallowed, almost sending Bobby into overdrive, and his fingers clenched onto a fist, still tangled in Kisa’s hair. With a low hiss, she scratched his hip and shuffled closer and looked up, parting her lips slowly.

Priya’s hand moved to stroke his thigh as both of the girls slowly dragged their tongues from the base to his tip, looking at him through their lashes, taking turns sucking him, and Bobby’s head lolled back for a second, overflowed with sensations.

“I think he’s ready for you to fuck him,” Bobby could barely hear Lucas’ soft, calm voice through the buzz in his ears.

He looked down again, Kisa’s lips wrapped around him, and his hand slipped involuntarily out of her hair to press against the hollow of her cheek, and he felt himself inside of her mouth, and it was too fucking hot, and a little shudder ran through his body.

“Yes, he is,” Kisa murmured as she slowly leaned back, a string of her spit connecting her mouth to Bobby’s dick.

“On your back, love,” Priya instructed softly, squeezing his balls for a second.

In half a daze, Bobby awkwardly dropped to his knees, hitting the decking hard, and his girlfriend’s hands guided him gently onto one of the blankets. Her tenderness disappeared just as fast as it emerged as she threw her leg over his hips, sinking herself down onto him in one ragged movement.

Bobby’s eyes fluttered shut, and a loud moan escaped his mouth, she was so hot and tight around him, it was almost too much. She froze for a moment and then smiled.

“Keep his mouth shut, would you?”

She stroked a strand of hair out of Kisa’s face and gave her a slow, languishing kiss before pushing her towards Bobby. His hand pulled on her hair, making the green-eyes girl lower her face to his. She traced her tongue up his neck and bit gently on his lower lip before pressing her mouth against his. His tongue swirled around hers, his brain a complete mess to think any more of how surreal this entire night was, and he almost cried when Priya started moving on him slowly.

His hand grabbed girl’s waist while another slipped between him and Kisa to caress her breasts and stomach. His fingers slipped between her folds and rubbed her clit, and she moaned into his mouth.

“I-I wanna taste you,” He muttered through his hitched breath, moving his hand to her ass to pull the girl closer to where he wanted her.

She pushed herself up and threw her leg over his neck, shuffling closer, lining them up. His hands moved to her hips, pulling her onto his face, and his tongue darted out of his mouth to lick a stripe against her, and her eyes rolled back into her head for a moment. She was so hot and wet, dripping all over his face, and Bobby couldn’t help a moan of his own when her hips rolled uncontrollably.

Priya’s hands pressed against his chest so she could ride him faster, harder, and he growled, sending vibrations through Kisa’s centre. He licked her faster, his tongue flickering directly over her clit in small movements, drawing loud throaty moans out of her. He moved his hands to spread her even more, and she cried when one of his fingers slid inside of her and curled upwards while his tongue continued licking her.

“You’re being too loud, sweetheart,” Lucas chuckled softly, looking at her from where he still was. He was just watching them, his back relaxed against the bench as if he was watching a mildly entertaining movie, and his lips curled into a little smirk.

“Maybe you should make me shut up,” Kisa shrugged, holding his gaze as her body tensed when Bobby added a second finger.

“Maybe I should.”

He got up to his feet slowly, keeping his eyes locked on the girl, and shimmied out of his shorts. Lazily, he approached her with a little grin playing at the corners of his mouth. He dragged his gaze to watch Priya as she straightened her back and tilted her head to her side, glancing at him from below her lashes.

“Enjoying the view?” He asked softly, stroking his length sluggishly.

“I might need a closer look at one point,” She answered through her hitched breath, throwing her head back.

Kisa’s hand slowly traveled up his leg and brushed from one of his hipbones to another teasingly, her eyes barely focused now as both of Bobby’s fingers curled inside of her, and he groaned against her, drawing a moan out of her, too.

“Uh-uh,” Lucas tsked, grabbing her face with both of his hands and stroking his thumb across her lips. “I guess, I really should make you shut up, so you won’t disturb anyone’s sleep.”

Instead of an answer, she sucked his thumb into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it, her eyes looking deeply into his. Lucas’ breath stuttered when one of her hands wrapped around his cock and started pumping him slowly, her tongue still playing with his finger inside of her mouth. He watched her intently as she gently released his thumb and finally took him in her mouth fully until her face was pressed against his crotch.

He breathed out, forcing himself to stay still and not to show his need for her.

Heatwaves started spreading through her body as Bobby’s tongue and fingers worked her harder, and she moaned around him, and Lucas pushed his hand into her hair, taking control of her as he thrust into her mouth roughly, watching her eyes roll back into her head as he hit the back of her throat, making her gag on him.

Priya looked at them through her heavy-lidded eyes, feeling her body tensing, and her hand moved to draw circles against her clit, and she moaned softly, feeling a knot in her core started unwinding. She moved her hips faster, her other hand scratching Bobby’s chest as she leaned forward to tease his nipples with her teeth, and he whined, as she started clenching and pulsing all over him.

Kisa’s fingers coiled around baker’s neck tightly, choking the air out of him, and his entire body arched into a bow, his fingers moved frantically inside of her as he came deep inside his girlfriend, making her scream so loud she had to cover her own mouth as the second wave hit her, making her clamp down on Bobby harder, riding out her orgasm as he was throbbing inside of her.

Kisa’s free hand moved to squeeze Luca’s balls roughly as he fucked her mouth, and his head lolled back when she suddenly growled around him, Bobby’s mouth making her come hard, her juices dripping from baker’s chin and running over his face.

Lucas looked down at her, her eyes rolled back, her cheeks hollow as she sucked him hard, and her entire body twisted with pleasure, and it was enough to send him over the edge, too.

She watched him closely, her hips moving frantically against Bobby’s face as she was riding out her high. She sucked Lucas dry, and he looked down at her with barely noticeable adoration before dropping onto his knees and pulling her off Bobby to kiss the girl deeply.

Her swollen lips found his instinctively and her tongue brushed against his, making him taste himself, and he groaned, pulling her closer in until she was wrapped into his arms tightly.

Bobby sat up slowly, his half-hard dick still inside of Priya, and he ran his fingers over her face, which was now all blurry. He blinked a few times but the picture before his eyes kept getting more blurred until it was all a whirlwind of colors, and he shut them close, lulled by Priya’s soft whisper:

“Sleep, Bobby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	25. Falling, Fallen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...I'm coming up on infra-red,  
> There is no running that can hide you  
> 'cause I can see in the dark..."
> 
> [Infra-Red - Placebo]

“Okay, what do you think of this?” Priya almost shoved a dress into Kisa’s face.

All the girls were getting ready in the dressing room and it was… crowded. With the sounds of blow dryers, the hissing of hair sprays, and the smell of eight different perfumes, Kisa’s head was spinning, and she only wished the dumping will be done with soon. Her eyes wandered towards Hope and Marisol: she wouldn’t mind a second if both of them left, but she knew she wasn’t that lucky.

“It looks stunning,” Kisa brushed her fingers against heavily bejeweled corset of Priya’s dress. “Bobby won’t even know what hit him.”

“Hey, Kisa?” Lottie’s voice coming from behind her back made the older girl almost jump.

“Mm?”

Lottie's eyes pointed towards the corridor as the blonde raised an eyebrow. Kisa sighed and nodded, and both of them left the dressing room.

“So, what is it, Lottie?” Dark-haired girl propped herself onto the windowsill while the blonde was pacing back and forth before her.

“I just wanted to have a chat with you before the dumping. We’re both in danger, like all other couples, and, well, I know we aren’t friends,” She chuckled darkly. “But I just wanted to let you know there’s no bad blood between us. I-I really like Kassam,” She frowned. “But he made it clear who he wanted, and I want to apologize for attacking you. I guess I might rethink my ideas of what the Girl Code truly is.”

Kisa listened to the younger girl, following her nervous movements with her eyes. She got used to Lottie’s anger outbursts that turned everyone off her, including Bobby. Baker would still spend time with goth but not as much as in the earlier days. And sometimes, Kisa felt bad for Lottie, as she knew exactly what it feels like when you’ve got no one by your side. Whenever Seth wasn’t around, Kisa felt empty and lonely and sad – and Lottie must’ve felt like that most of the time.

She breathed heavily before speaking, her hands laced together.

“Thank you, for saying that. You’re right, we’re not friends – but it doesn’t mean we’re enemies. You were just playing the game, like everyone else here. I get it, and I accept your apology.”

Lottie stopped before Kisa, staring at her as if thinking whether she should say the next words out loud.

“There’s nothing going on between me and Lucas.”

Kisa’s breath stuttered at the mention of physio, and she almost slipped off the windowsill when her body jerked forward involuntarily.

“It’s none of my business,” She muttered through the lump in her throat.

Lottie studied her face for a very long moment, until Kisa’s cheeks suddenly heat up, and shook her head slightly. Only now Kisa saw the blonde clearly for the first time: she wasn’t just this insecure little girl who thought that offense was the best defense. Something in the green eyes of her all-time rival suddenly made Kisa look at the younger girl from another angle, and she almost staggered back from what she saw.

“Look,” Blonde frowned a little, grazing her lip between her teeth. “I know that the two of you have this weird powerplay thing going on. If you want to crack on with him – go ahead. I don’t mind.”

With this, Lottie spun on her heel and walked downstairs, leaving Kisa alone in the corridor, too confused to move. She wasn’t sure if she’d heard witch’s words correctly, it was just too bizarre to even start thinking about it. And also… _I don’t care about him_.

She shook herself into action and got back to the dressing room to finish getting ready for the night.

“You okay?” Priya immediately appeared next to her. “What did she want?”

Kisa shrugged.

“Just a quick chat. To let me know we’re not enemies.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t think about it,” Kisa looked her friend up and down. “You’re so hot, I’m not sure poor Bobby is ready for the heat.”

Priya giggled and grabbed one of the curling wands to do Kisa’s hair.

“You should curl your hair all the time,” She noted.

Kisa watched her in the mirror, trying not to think about Lottie’s words. The powerplay thing. That exactly what was going on between them. The game. They were playing with each other, and it messed her up already, she knew it. No matter how hard she tried not to, she couldn’t help but think about him, to follow him with her gaze – even when she’s been avoiding him, she was still doing so because of him.

Kisa frowned at her own reflection. _Stop it._

“And, you’re done,” Priya put down the curling wand, and Kisa smiled at her in the reflection, noticing that it was just her, Priya, and the new girl Shannon in the dressing room now.

“You’re so ridiculously perfect at everything.”

“Yeah, I am. Now, get dressed, and let’s head downstairs, I need a drink before it all kicks off.”

Kisa went back to her cupboard and stumbled into Shannon who was staring blankly at her dress.

“Sorry,” Irish girl looked up at her and moved slightly aside.

“You okay?”

Kisa rummaged through the hangers until she found the dress she was searching for. It was a simple silk slip-on dress with deep v-cut on the back and a silver chain, and she smiled a little at the thought of her and Kassam's love for black color.

“I just can’t pick what to wear,” Shannon sighed. “All these dresses - it isn’t what I usually go for.”

Kisa gently pushed the other girl aside and ran her hand through the hangers to see what she was working with.

“Try this one,” She grabbed one of the hangers with a two-piece of white pants and a cropped top. “I have a perfect pair of earrings to go with it.”

Priya grabbed a pair of strappy sandals and walked over to the girls.

“Here, it’ll look great with this outfit.”

Shannon’s cheeks blushed.

“Thank you. I’m really clueless when it comes to fashion.”

Kisa quickly changed and waited for the girls while Priya was doing Shannon’s lipstick. Her mind kept wandering, going back and forth between what Lottie told her just now and the memories of last night. _He_ was so mad, and he had a right to be mad, she knew it. But then, today, he was so unbothered, as if nothing had happened. He made her a fucking coffee and then just left, and she barely saw him the entire day, challenge aside.

This constant push and pull was too much, it started winding her up. The way his mood effected hers – she couldn’t take it anymore.

“You ready?” She shook her head and looked at the girls. “Let’s go, then.”

As they started walking down the stairs, Priya leaned in and whispered: “Are you okay?”

Kisa nodded stiffly and walked faster, hoping to grab a few drinks of tequila before the dumping.

“Hey,” Kassam smiled at her when the girls finally joined everyone in the kitchen. “Bobby’s making cocktails.”

He gave her a gentle kiss on the lips and weaved his arm around her waist, pulling Kisa closer, and she slowly relaxed under his touch. Her eyes fluttered to where Bobby was just to fall onto Lucas. He was standing next to the baker, his head cocked as he was talking to Lottie, and she averted her gaze immediately.

“Looking hot,” Bobby smirked at her, sliding a glass towards her before turning to Priya again.

“Are you nervous?” Kassam spotted her trembling fingers as she grabbed her drink. “It’s gonna be fine.”

She nodded.

“I know. It’s just – well, dumpings are always nerve-wracking.”

It took her just a few seconds to chug the drink down, but it didn’t bring her comfort. She needed a strong drink, preferably, in immeasurable amount – but before she could go raid the cupboards, Jacub’s phone beeped.

“Time to hear the results of the public vote.”

Bobby and Priya caught up to them, and baker whispered to Kisa while Priya and Kassam went into a discussion of Nina Craviz’ latest track.

“Hey,” Bobby nudged her gently on the shoulder. “Are you nervous?”

She wasn’t nervous, she was wrecked.

“A little,” Kisa nodded.

“Lottie was nervous earlier, too.”

“Was she?”

Bobby gave her a long, studying look before nodding his head.

“She’s in a friendship couple. With all those new cute couples,” Baker grimaced at the last words. “She feels like people might not think she’s worth of staying.”

Kisa frowned a little.

“She? She’s not the only person in the couple.”

A realization dawned on her.

_What if… what if he leaves?_

She shook her head vigorously. The last couple of days messed up with her head too much. She had to take a grip and remember why she was there. Now, when she found Kassam, winning didn’t seem as important anymore but it was. She had to win this thing for her boys, being the winner of this show will open so many doors for her, she had to stay focused on that. Winning the show and her bet with Alex – that’s her priority, not a fucking physiotherapist who couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Finally, all the couples took their places on the bench around the firepit, and Bobby, Priya, Gary, and Noah stood in front of them, waiting for a text. Kisa squeezed Kassam’s knee, and he wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulders and kissed her gently on the side of her head. She tilted her head back to look at him.

“I’m so lucky,” Her lips curled into a little smile. “Out of fifty thousand people they’ve brought _you_ here, for me.”

“I only regret we’ve lost almost ten years.”

He kissed her softly on the lips before pulling the girl closer in, as if protecting her from the rest of the world, and she rested her head on his shoulder, looking at the flames dancing in the firepit.

Finally, Gary’s phone buzzed with the text.

“The results of the public vote are here,” He read. “The first couple in danger of dumping is… Shannon and Ibrahim.”

Gary’s eyes fell on the golfer, and a deep line cut his forehead.

“Mate, this is brutal.”

Shannon and Rahim slowly got up and joined the singles across the firepit from the others. Priya’s phone beeped next.

“Next couple is Jacub and Blake.”

“What?” Blake’s face grimaced. “I’ve been literally here for one day!”

“And that’s too long,” Lottie huffed under her breath.

Before the new girl could react, Noah’s phone buzzed.

“Next couple is… Chelsea and Elijah,” He looked stunned. “I’m sorry, guys.”

“That’s three couples,” Marisol whispered loudly. “Is that it?”

As in response, Bobby’s phone dinged.

“Next couple at risk is… Hope and Carl.”

Kisa’s brain was ready to just flip that switch. Hope’s been the most annoying thing about this place, but it always seemed like producers wanted things to go her way – and now, she was at risk of dumping. Everything suddenly seemed too real, and for a moment, Kisa just lost touch with reality, and almost missed the moment when Marisol and Graham joined four other couples.

“This is some crazy shit,” Hope scowled. “There’s only two couples left, and one of them not even a real couple.”

“I wouldn’t speak about what’s real and what’s not if I was you, Hope,” Lucas raised an eyebrow ironically.

“That’s it then?” Lottie asked. “We have two couples left and…”

Bobby’s phone beeped, and he looked down at the screen, his face turning paperwhite.

“T-the last couple at risk is… Kisa and Kassam.”

The world went quiet suddenly. She failed. She lost. She let her boys down.

“What the fuck?!” Lucas’ voice brought her back into reality, and Kisa’s eyes found him involuntarily.

Physio looked like he was ready to punch each and every person who voted for Kisa’s couple to leave and was willing to do it right then. His entire body arched into a bow, and his mind started racing. When Bobby said Kisa’s name, the world went quiet for a split of a second and then came crashing down onto him.

_She can’t leave, no, I’m not letting her leave!_

Suddenly, he saw it so damn clear: he wanted her, only her, for as long as he fucking exists. This realization dawned on him like a fucking avalanche, like a ten-story high ocean wave, crushing down his walls and rules and fears and hell only knew what else got crumbled as he realized that he might lose her that very moment.

“There’s more,” Bobby’s voice trembled when Priya flung herself into Kisa’s arms. Everyone was talking at once, and the baker had to clear his throat. “Guys, guys, please, shut up and listen to this.”

Priya couldn’t stop sobbing, and Kisa wrapped her arm tightly around her waist, and her free hand found Kassam’s. She felt Lucas’ blazing gaze burning holes in her body, but she just couldn’t bring herself to look up at him, not after his little outburst. She was already barely holding - if she looked at him now, she’d just broke in two. His emotions would pass to her again, and she’d lost it.

“… and a recoupling,” She only caught the last words and looked up in surprise.

“What?”

“Had you suddenly gone deaf?” Marisol scowled. “It’s not only dumping but also, a recoupling since the public thinks all the couples here suck.”

“Except them,” Blake pointed her long bright-red fingernail at Lottie and Lucas.

“It’s a fucking fix,” Hope’s face twisted with anger. “They’re in a friendship couple!”

“At least, this friendship is real,” Lottie snapped back, her cheeks bright red.

“Guys!” Gary’s loud bark made everyone shut up. “Can we all please shut up and wait for the fucking text?”

As if in response, Priya’s phone beeped and she looked down at the screen, blinking away the tears.

“Now, every single islander must couple up with someone whose couple is at risk of dumping.”

Her face slowly changed as the realization downed on her.

“Each of us,” She stepped towards three single guys and took her place next to Bobby. “Each of us can save someone by coupling with them.”

Lucas' eyes glued to Bobby when baker’s phone beeped a second later, and the older man stopped breathing. Kisa was his and Priya’s best friend here, _he’ll save her, he should fucking save her, he can’t let her leave…_

“I guess, I’m going first,” Bobby squeezed Priya’s hand before stepping forward. “I just want all of you girls to know that if I could, I’d saved you all… but I can only choose one of you. Kisa.”

Lucas’ shoulders slammed forward as he let out a heavy sigh of relief when she slowly turned to Kassam.

“It’s okay,” He stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. “Now, go.”

Bobby pulled the girl into a hug and then walked her over to the bench and flopped next to Lucas and Lottie. When the older man’s hand squeezed his shoulder gratefully, Bobby’s mouth twitched with a smile he had to fight back. He saw Lucas’ face when Bobby said Kisa’s name – and now, baker was even more sure of his mate’s feelings for this girl.

Kisa’s eyes were glued to Kassam as Gary’s phone beeped and after a flicker of hesitation, she picked Shannon with an apologizing look sent to Rahim. She couldn’t believe she might lose him now. If he does go, why would she stay? There was no one else here for her. No one.

She purposely ignored the smoldering stare that’s been glued to her all this time. Whatever is that he was thinking, she didn’t care. She just wanted Kassam to stay, nothing else mattered.

When Noah saved Chelsea, everyone went silent, even Marisol stopped bitching, waiting for Hope to explode. Instead, she just chuckled sardonically.

“I’m glad I got myself out of it early.” She squeezed Carl’s hand even tighter and turned away, hiding her face in her partner’s chest.

Finally, it was Priya’s turn to choose, and she almost jumped on the spot in anticipation.

“Finally,” She let out a nervous chuckle. “If things were different, I would’ve been gutted to be the one who chooses last and… Well, now, I’m not. I know exactly what to do. I’m choosing this boy because he’s amazing and he makes my favorite girl happy. Kassam.”

DJ broke into a smile and wrapped his arms around the girl before walking over to the bench. Kisa jumped to her feet and flung herself into his embrace, breathing heavily.

“Shh, it’s okay,” He whispered, stroking her hair. “I’ve got you.”

Priya flopped on the bench next to Bobby and high-fived him excitedly. Her gaze wandered and she spotted Lucas as he watched Kisa kissing Kassam gently. Not a single muscle in his face twitched, only his eyes were ablaze.

Rahim’s phone beeped announcing that all the remaining people should leave the Villa immediately, and suddenly, the reality hit her: this is real. Half of the people were just dumped. Bobby squeezed her hand.

“I’m gonna help Rahim to pack,” Baker kissed her softly.

“I’ll talk to the girls,” Priya frowned a little. “We weren’t friends but…” She trailed off and shrugged.

“I’ve made you soft,” Bobby grinned, offering her a hand.

“Oh, shut up,” She glanced at Kisa. “Care to join?”

The younger girl huffed.

“No. I’m pretty thrilled they’re leaving, and I don’t want to make a sad face for the cameras. I’ll just go check what’s good in the kitchen.”

“I’ll help Elijah with packing,” Kassam squeezed her hand. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

She just sat alone by the firepit for a few minutes, trying to process everything that just happened. She knew that if not Bobby, Gary would’ve picked her, they were mates and he had a crush on her since day one – but if not for Priya, Kassam would’ve been packing right now. She still couldn’t believe she had a friend, an actual girl-friend who really cared about her, who wished her happiness.

Kisa slowly walked upstairs, hoping that with everyone being upset about this massive dumping, no one will care if she just drunk a whole bottle of tequila all by herself. She crossed the lawn and stopped dead: Lucas was sitting at the kitchen counter, a bottle and two shot glasses in front of him.

“Finally,” He smirked. “Come join my little party.”

She studied his face carefully, trying to find traces of previous anger – but there was none. He was calm and almost… happy? Pleased? Devilishly satisfied?

Hesitantly, she sat across the counter from him, staying at the very edge of her seat as if ready to skip at any moment.

“Don’t be scared,” He tilted his head ever so slightly. “I won’t bite until you ask.”

A smug, self-assured grin stretched his lips as physio filled the glasses up and slid one to Kisa. She huffed at his stupid joke, biting back a snappy comment: she just wanted to get drunk, and if that meant she had to keep their conversation somewhat civil, then she’ll do exactly that.

She bottomed her glass and slid it back for a refill. Somewhat amused, he complied and sent the glass back to the girl, staring at her throat as it worked to swallow the liquor.

“Are you going to drink at all or you’re playing a sober bartender tonight?” Kisa asked after another refill.

Lucas sniggered and swallowed his portion in two gulps, almost wincing at the horrible taste. He knew she never takes salt with her tequila so he hadn’t bothered with it but right now, he wouldn’t mind a shit ton of lime slices. She chuckled at his expression and leaned over the counter to grab the bottle.

“You suck at measuring portions,” Kisa filled his glass. “If you hate the taste, you should stick to one measure, so you can just throw it back in one gulp. The aftertaste won’t be as bad if you send it straight into your throat instead of your mouth.”

She threw her head back and took a shot.

“Try.”

He did as she told, and to his surprise, it wasn’t as horrible as usual.

“Have you ever been to Angels Cocktails bar?” She asked musingly as if talking to a friend. “The one on Little Clarendon?”

“I don’t think I had,” Lucas carefully refilled their glasses, controlling his portion. “Me and my best friend usually go to The Alchemist.”

Kisa nodded, looking at him through her glass. It was her fifth portion and finally, she started feeling that light dizziness in her head that replaced all the thoughts – she could just sit in the dimly lit kitchen, discussing bars back home.

“Me and my band usually hang out at the Angels’,” She noted slowly. “They have the best tequila in town, and they have this book club thing each last Tuesday of the month.”

Lucas listened to her, wondering if she’s just very tired or too drunk – these were the only likely explanations of why she was suddenly so friendly. He could imagine her having this conversation with Bobby or Gary or even Rahim – but not with him. He barely knew anything about her besides what he learned in the first few days of the show when he googled her and found out about her band, and that she had Persian ancestors and used to date this famous rapper a few years ago. Besides that, she was a closed book. She didn’t have her personal Instagram, only her band’s, and from that, he knew she was really close with those guys, especially, one of them, Seth, he believed.

Since coming here, the only somewhat friendly chat they had was on the night before Casa Amor… before he fucked everything up.

He knew exactly what pushed her into Kassam’s arms. He, himself. He was the one who overstepped her boundaries, again and again, after all the times she told him she didn’t want to become another notch on his bedpost. But the thing was – she never was. Ever since the moment he laid his eye on her, he knew that she wasn’t just this stunning girl with hot temper and daddy issues.

He _wanted_ to get to know her, and so he listened to what she had to say, reading between the lines. He asked Bobby about her in a casual way, drinking in little pieces of information to then add it to this rough sketch that this girl was – and still, he had no clear picture. And Lucas wondered if anyone here knows anything about her.

_That fucking blast from the past knows her._

Again, Bobby filled him up on the gossip. Apparently, Kisa knew the DJ from when they were teenagers and then, they lost touch – and Lucas needed to know, why.

“The last book club meeting I’ve attended was when my old professor made us all read his fifteenth monograph on joint pain.”

Kisa’s soft laugh filled the air between them. It wasn’t even funny, but her body was so tense after these past few days, she just needed to let it out somehow. She rested her chin on her hand and looked at the man in front of her. He looked relaxed, and his relaxation resonated with her own suddenly calm state of mind, and she couldn’t figure out why she was suddenly so damn calm – or why was he, for that matter.

They’ve heard distant voices, slowly becoming louder, and it ruined this peaceful moment between them.

“I’m gonna go and say my goodbyes or something,” She muttered, her voice suddenly quiet and unsure.

Before Kisa could slide off the barstool, Lucas jumped to his feet and pushed himself towards her, almost making her back down. He put one hand onto the back of her chair, and another rested against the counter, cornering the girl in her seat. He lowered his face to her until he could see her eyes with blown pupils and smell her perfume.

“You smell differently,” He noted in surprise. “It’s not your scent.”

Taken aback, she looked straight into his eyes.

“That’s what happens when eight girls are getting ready in one room.”

Her breath went faster when she realized how close he was. She could feel the warmth of his body spreading in waves, and smell his John Varvatos perfume, and see the fucking shark tooth hanging down his neck. Suddenly, her body went still, as if it just forgotten how to move, and Kisa could only sit there, staring at the man before her.

“Don’t look so terrified,” He whispered almost gently, moving his hand to stroke up and down the naked skin of her arm. “I just wanted to give you heads-up.”

Lucas leaned in even closer, and his breath ghosted on her cheek and then, moved slowly to her ear. His lips grazed her lobe as he whispered:

“Just because there’s another guy, doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying to turn your head,” He let his fingers to run up to her shoulder and brush lightly across her collarbone.

Her breath stuttered as his hand came to rest on the back of her neck, and his fingers pressed gently into her pressure points.

“Unless you tell me to stop.”

With this, he pushed his fingers deeper into her neck tilting her head up and dragging his mouth across her jawline. This sudden almost tenderness kicked the ground from beneath her feet and left her swaying, not able to even speak.

He stopped his mouth in just a millimeter from her lips.

“So, do you want me to stop?”

His soft, low voice sent a million small electricity jolts all over her body, almost making her arch into him – but her body was still unable to move, hypnotized by his voice, and scent, and the closeness. As if he realized that she couldn’t even move her lips to talk, man chuckled darkly.

“Don’t worry,” He leaned over to whisper into her ear again. “You can tell me to stop at any point. But…” His other hand moved from the back of her seat and moved from her knee up to her side in light circular motions, almost making her gasp. “You’ll have to _really_ mean it.”

He pulled himself away from her and wandered off, leaving her alone in the dark kitchen, with her face flushed red and her heart thumping inside of her chest, not able to even think about anything but this lingering sensation of his hand on her neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	26. Dissolved Girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Shame, such a shame  
> I think I kind of lost myself again  
> Day, yesterday  
> Really should be leaving but I stay..."
> 
> [Dissolved Girl - Massive Attack]

“Daybeds double date!” Priya flopped on the daybed next to Kisa, scooching closer to the younger girl to give space to Bobby and Kassam.

All three of them found her after she spent almost twenty minutes at the Beach Hut, and she barely managed to hide her irritation: obviously, producers couldn’t let her just be after what Lucas told her last night. Kisa felt her cheeks warm up at the memory of how close he was and how sure of himself he sounded.

 _Not of himself_ , she had to admit. _Of what he was saying. As if he really meant it._

“Hey, you,” Kassam leaned in to give her a kiss, and she slowly relaxed under the soft touch of his hand, tracing patterns on her forearm.

“Don’t mind us,” Bobby chuckled.

“We didn’t last night,” Kisa cracked her eyes open and looked at the baker with a smirk. “First, we didn’t mind listening to a twenty-minute lecture on how to make a perfect icing and then a thirty-five-minute makeout session.”

Scot’s cheeks went bright red, sending the others into a fit of giggling.

“What, now you’re timing me?” He rolled his eyes.

“Yep,” Kisa nodded seriously. “This morning you spent seventeen minutes in a shower and that’s how I know last night it was just a makeout and not…”

Kassam’s hand flew up to Kisa’s face and covered her mouth.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s clearly high from all that sugar she puts in her coffee.”

Priya couldn’t contain a laugh when Bobby’s face went red again and rubbed his arm affectionately.

It was so easy, being around Kassam. He just made her feel weightless as if there was not even single care in the world. Finally, she stopped feeling the need to protect herself from the world all the damn time, as if it was okay to open up and let people see who she really was.

“Is that how it’s gonna be now?” She raised an eyebrow at the DJ. “You’re just going to shut me up whenever you feel like it?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Kassam grinned.

“Cool,” She nodded before leaning her back against his chest. “Just wanted to make sure.”

He wrapped one arm around her and started tracing patterns on her arm, lazily arguing with Priya about who’s the better DJ, Paul Van Dyk, or Armin Van Buuren. Bobby rolled over onto his stomach, shuffling in Priya’s lap until he was facing Kisa.

“Hey,” He beckoned her closer, and she moved down Kassam’s body until she was almost lying across his legs.

“Hey, yourself,” She smiled softly. “You look happy. I take it, last night was worth the roast this morning?”

Bobby huffed.

“They can’t just forbid us from sleeping with whoever we want to sleep with.”

“Well, apparently, they really can.”

Kisa frowned, remembering how ugly their producer looked when she yelled at the four of them at around eight in the morning for not sharing beds with their current partners.

“Everyone knows that Priya’s my girlfriend,” Bobby squinted at the woman. “Why is it a problem that I shared bed with her and Kisa with Kassam? Again, everyone knows that Priya saved him for her.”

“Ouch,” Kassam dramatically grabbed at his chest. “And here I am thinking you people actually like me.”

“Knock it down,” Producer scowled. You’re going to sleep with your partners – or sleep outside the bedroom, this is the first and last warning.”

Kisa shook her head, remembering the morning conversation. With just five couples let, there was even an extra bed, and the whole situation was just infuriating. She and Bobby shared bed once, and she still remembered that experience with a mix of horror and relief – who knows how’d things ended up if Priya hadn’t swept in and took him from Kisa.

_At least, Kas doesn’t feel the need to use me as his cuddle bear._

Immediately, her brain threw the memories of those times she's woken up wrapped into Lucas’ arms. Kisa gasped – those pictures were too vivid, too colorful, they felt too _real._ Her face almost twitched when she forced herself to push those memories as far aside as possible.

“You okay?” Bobby asked quietly, so their partners wouldn’t hear. “You seem a bit off.”

She frowned: _fuck Bobby’s perceptiveness_.

Even if she wanted to talk about it, she couldn’t tell him about what happened last night. To start with, she didn’t even know what the hell happened last night herself. Lucas didn’t do anything that he hadn’t done before, he was just his usual annoyingly arrogant self… or wasn’t he?

She still couldn’t completely explain the way she acted around him, teaching him how to drink and talking about her favorite pub – what the hell was that about?

“Everything’s fine,” She finally responded. “I’m just a bit… overwhelmed.”

Bobby nodded and rolled onto his back, using Priya’s thighs as his pillow, and laced his hands behind his head.

“I’m gonna grab some water and maybe do a quick work out,” Kisa shuffled off Kassam’s legs and gave him a quick kiss. “Not even asking you lazy asses to join since I’ve seen those stacks of pancakes you devoured.”

Kassam caught her hand and kissed her fingers gently.

“I’ll be right here when you’re done.”

“Proving her point there, mate,” Bobby chuckled, winking at the older guy.

Kisa slowly walked towards the kitchen, glancing around. Gary, Shannon, and Chelsea were hanging out by the pool, and she smiled at the crane operator when he caught her gaze. He and Shannon were sitting just a few inches from each other, comfortable enough to share their personal space. Chelsea averted her eyes the moment Kisa glanced at her, as if scared that the older girl will read her thoughts if they lock eyes.

_Is she still into Lucas?_

She shook her head vigorously: she absolutely did not care about who was into him and who wasn’t. Whatever he might be imagining in that head of his, she had absolutely no interest in him.

Kisa filled up her bottle and left the kitchen, hoping that she won’t bump into Noah, who she’s been avoiding since the moment the guys got back from Casa Amor. She was happy he didn’t save Hope or Marisol, but that guy was still a piece of slime who she had no intention talking to.

She threw the last glance across the lawn, smiling softly as she spotted Kassam staring in her direction as if he was compelled to follow her with his eyes wherever she went. She couldn’t see from this distance, but she was sure that his cheeks flushed red the moment he realized she caught him, and it made her stomach fill with little butterflies. No one ever treated her like he did, no one ever made her feel like this, like she was the most beautiful and precious thing in the world – and also, she couldn’t remember the last time she trusted someone so completely, so soon.

Chugging on her water, Kisa turned the corner and walked towards the gym.

Lucas just finished the last set of push-ups and was just sitting on the bench, patting his face and neck with a towel.

“Oh,” She almost winced at how startled she sounded.

He looked up at her, tilting his head slightly to his side, taking a better look at the girl.

“Be my guest,” He sniggered.

Kisa rolled her eyes and walked slowly to the speaker.

“Is this one of those rare times you do cardio?” Lucas wondered from behind her back, and it took all of her self-control not to shudder from his sudden closeness.

“Something like that,” She made sure her voice sounded irritated.

“Well, I remember your doctor told you that cardio won’t help you relax, only yoga” His voice went lower, sending goosebumps all over Kisa’s body.

“And I remember my doctor being an arrogant asshole who can’t take ‘no’ for an answer,” She snapped back. “Why’d I listen to any of his recommendations?”

Lucas’ hands grabbed her shoulders.

“Because it wasn’t a suggestion,” He whispered darkly. “Now, on the ground, please.”

She could only open and close her mouth like a fish on the sand, stunned by how unceremoniously he pushed on her shoulders. She twisted her body, ducking under his arm, and a moment later she was behind his back, her right arm coiled around his neck, and her other hand holding man’s hand behind his back.

His free hand involuntarily flew up to grab the arm wrapped around his neck, but Kisa only tightened her grip, feeling his throat muscles work as he swallowed hard. This was way beyond their usual half-playful fights, right now, she felt so much anger, she had to fight back an urge to press her arm harder into his throat until he chokes on his own words, until there’s no trace of that sniggering smirk on his lips.

“You were saying, _doctor?_ ” She spitted, pressing herself into his back to compensate for the height gap.

She pulled his hand further behind his back, making him gasp in pain, and for a second his vision got blurred. She was mad, and he knew that he pushed her too far this time. He knew that she hated being bossed around, and he overstepped her boundaries just now, by a lot. He knew exactly what he was doing when he almost pushed her onto the ground, and he had a clear picture of what her reaction would be in his mind – and yet, he went through with it.

As if hoping that pissing her off would also make her feel other things.

But now, the only thing she felt was anger and desire to show him his place. Quickly, she moved her arm off his neck just to take a hold of it with her hand, and her nails dug deep into his skin. She let go of his hand, and a jolt of pain ran through his arm.

“Turn around,” The steel in her voice sent shivers down Lucas’ spine, and he felt his dick hardening.

Not once in his life was he in a position like this, and his mind started running so fast he couldn’t catch a single thought. Sluggishly, he turned around. Her large green eyes stared back at him with so much hate, he’d stumbled back if her hand wasn’t wrapped tightly around her neck.

She cocked her head and said slowly:

“Down.”

Her voice was like poison shot straight into his veins, and for a second, he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t noticed this before, how deadly she was for him.

“Have you gone deaf?” Her lips twitched and her nails dug even deeper into his pressure points, making his entire body tremble. “I said, down.”

Unable to break their eye contact, he dropped on his knees the moment she released his neck from her grip. His body was stiff and wound, and his cock was achingly hard, and his mouth was sore and dry, and he couldn’t manage a single word when she bent down to grab his chin roughly with her fingers.

“You can tell my doctor that he got fired.”

She almost ran out of the gym, not even looking back at the man standing on his knees in the middle of the sun-lit gym. Her heart was pounding out of her chest when she stalked into the bathroom and shut the door close behind her back, panting.

Whatever just happened, it was too much, too far.

Kisa pressed her hands against the sink, breathing hastily through her clenched teeth. She turned the tap on and placed her palms under the stream of ice-cold water, letting its energy sink into her body. This was the trick her jida taught her back when she was a kid – just to keep your palms under a stream of cold water and focus on your breath, and it will calm you down.

And now, she desperately needed at least some semblance of calm.

She finally looked up from her hands and caught her own gaze in the mirror. Her pupils were still blown, the blush on her cheeks seemed almost feverish on her paperwhite face and her entire body looked like it might just fall apart.

 _Relax,_ she ordered herself, breathing deeply. She had to calm down fast, it was a matter of a few minutes before someone finds her, and she’d rather spend the rest of the summer coupled with Noah than let any of these people see her like that.

She took it too far, and she had no idea if there was a way to go back to where they used to be. He pushed her too fucking hard this time, and she just snapped.

Finally, her body started relaxing, and Kisa splashed her still burning face with some water. She had no idea what to do now, how to leave this bathroom, and continue with her day – how to be around Kassam, Bobby, and Priya… and _him_. He awakened this dark part of her that she’s been trying so hard to overcome, she almost managed to overcome it just by being with Kas. He was the only person who didn’t see her as this hot mess, the only person who saw a sassy adventurous girl who thought that life had so many things to offer.

And _he_ destroyed that girl, he destroyed everything she’s been trying to build for so long.

He just came along and ruined her.

Kisa whisked angry tears off her cheeks, staring at her reflection. She let him do this to her, she did. She let him ruin her, she had no one to blame but herself. She hated him so much for being everything that she’s been trying to escape, but in reality, she hated _herself_. She hated herself for wanting him, for having this crazy hope that he’ll suddenly change his mind. That he’ll want her, the girl she’s trying to be, not the girl everyone sees in her.

 _She_ did this to herself, not he. He was the gun and she was the hand that pulled the trigger.

She did it.

She’s fallen for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	27. Night Peril.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...It seems that all that was good has died and is decaying in me  
> It seems what's left of my human side is slowly changing in me  
> Now that you've woken up the demon in me..."
> 
> [Down with the Sickness - Disturbed]

It’s been two days since she broke down.

Two days of constant fighting against herself, two days of her losing any semblance of control she’d previously held. Every moment spent around him was the moment she’d go out of her way to avoid, and it started being obvious to others.

Kisa evaluated herself in the mirror. Her alabaster skin looked like an old piece of parchment, lifeless and dull, her large green eyes were sparkling frantically, and her hands were shaking. She grabbed her water bottle and took a few large gulps, swallowing tequila like it was lemonade. She was only wearing her black lace underwear, but couldn’t care any less. She was the first girl to get ready for the night when she slipped on a short silk dress, black as her fucking soul.

She grabbed her guitar and made her way downstairs, expertly avoiding bumping into other islanders.

“Would you at least try smiling?” One of the producers frowned as she walked past. “It’s not a fucking funeral.”

Kisa scowled.

“I’ve been to funerals that were more fun than this.”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, an arrogant move that she’d mastered at the age of thirteen and moved past, carrying Gia carefully. She was hoping for a few minutes before everyone was ready, and she was planning to put that time to good use. Kassam was convincing enough when he told her how popular her band has become, and she was hoping that Seth and the boys were using this popularity to the fullest.

Kisa walked towards the kitchen, chugging on tequila in her water bottle but it was almost all gone since she filled the bottle a few hours ago. She hated her body sometimes as it seemed almost impossible for her to get drunk - no matter how much she would drink, it was never enough. Especially, these days. After whatever the fuck had happened between her and Lucas at the gym, she couldn’t go sober for even an hour, otherwise, she’d already had an ‘ugly crying on the bathroom floor’ moment she joked about with Bobby once.

She frowned. Bobby knew exactly what was going on. He and Lucas were spending a lot of time together these past couple of days, their bromance so sickeningly cute she regretted Marisol wasn’t around to bitch about it and psychoanalyze the shit out of them.

Kisa grabbed an open bottle of tequila and poured it into one of the water glasses since the producers made it clear they didn’t want to see her chugging it straight from the bottle in the bright daylight. She put the glass down and propped herself onto the kitchen counter, resting her foot against the barstool, her other leg hanging freely.

Her long, delicate fingers ran across the guitar strings, evoking soft, melodic sounds. She didn’t want soft, not right now. _She_ wasn’t soft, at least, not now, when Kassam wasn’t around to _make_ her that way.

She could hear other islanders’ voices coming from inside the house, and shook her head, focusing on the guitar and the song playing in her head already. Her music was her only escape, and right now, she needed to be anywhere but here.

Her fingers came into action, hitting the strings roughly.

 _“…Is it sick of me_ _  
To need control of you?  
Is it sick to make you beg the way I do?..”_

Hectic, almost desperate guitar riffs filled the air around her as she started playing. Her voice went lower, as she sang the first lines, and her arms bristled with goosebumps.

She had trust issues. Anger management issues. Control issues. All types of issues normal girls don’t have. Normal girls are soft and nice, they’re funny and sassy, and sweet like honeysuckle. They can be sad and angry, but most of the time they’re smiling and laughing, because that’s what they are – they’re normal, happy girls.

They don’t expect the worst from every single person they ever encounter. They’re not afraid to open up. They don’t need to control themselves whenever they meet someone out of fear that falling for them will tear them apart.

Normal girls are bubbly and fresh like morning air.

Normal girls don’t freak out when they start feeling something for a guy, they get excited and talk about that with their girlfriends. Normal girls have a damn girl squad, and they drink mimosas, and wear pretty colors, not black and blood-red. Normal girls wake up in the morning with a smile, because their lives are filled with happiness and laughter, and they know that even if something doesn’t work the way they wanted, there will always be another good thing waiting for them.

 _“…Is it sick of me_ _  
To feed the animal in you?  
Is it sick of me to watch the wicked way you thrill?..”_

Normal girls don’t feel the need to protect their hearts by breaking others. They can let themselves trust another person because they trust themselves. They’re confident but not arrogant, and their confidence is coming from within, and it’s not something they had to fake for most of their life until they finally half-believed it.

Normal girls don’t have the need to be in control of everything, they don’t feel the need to put someone on their knees to feel better about themselves.

Her voice almost broke, and Kisa squeezed her eyes shut as if hoping that this way she’ll manage to cast away the image of Lucas standing on his knees before her. It wasn’t possible, this image has been burned into her brain, she saw it before her inner sight all the time. This image made her body fill with spite and disgust, she was disgusted with herself for what she’d done.

 _“…Is it sick of me_ _  
To want you crawling on your knees?  
Is it sick to say I want you biting down on me…”_

And even more, she was disgusted with the way a part of her felt as she did that. That sick part of her that enjoyed every fucking moment of it.

She was too consumed by her thoughts and the sound of her raspy, breaking voice to notice she had company now. Quietly, Kassam, Priya, and Bobby stood a few steps away, listening to her singing, mesmerized, and almost horrified.

Before, she let herself show the side of her that people couldn’t possibly see through the bitchy exterior she usually presented. Priya could still remember that night by the firepit when she couldn’t help the tears running down her cheeks as the green-eyed girl poured out her soul in a song. It was so sad, and beautiful, and it showed Kisa’s true colors more than anything else.

Priya squeezed Bobby’s hand and looked in his worried face before dragging her gaze to Kassam. His eyes were glued to Kisa, and he looked like he wasn’t breathing. He knew that he wasn’t the only one here who fancied her. He knew about Gary who mentioned her at the Beach Hut quite often but never had a chance to actively graft on her.

He knew about Noah's weird games that seemed unnecessary and almost forced as if the librarian didn’t want to do half of the things he’d done.

And most importantly, he knew about her and Lucas. He came here knowing about their weird power play relationship, and he knew that the physio wasn’t as detached as he seemed. The way he reacted to Kisa switching after Casa Amor showed that clearly, not to mention the last dumping. When Bobby read that text with Kisa’s name, Lucas was willing to throw hands, and Kassam couldn’t ignore that.

He clenched his teeth, trying to fight back an urge to just step towards the girl, wrap her in his arms and never let her go, even if she never felt the way he felt about her. Kassam caught Bobby’s sympathetic glance and shrugged, turning away.

Kisa’s voice went a bit higher as she continued singing, her eyes still closed and her entire being caught up into the haze when Priya squeezed her boyfriend’s hand. Bobby looked up to see Lucas as he walked deliberately towards them, and the baker rushed towards his mate.

“Hey,” He caught him in the middle of the lawn, breathing out hastily.

“You’ve missed me _that_ much?” Lucas arched an eyebrow at him when a gust of wind brought an echo of Kisa’s voice.

 _“…Is it sick to say_ _  
I live to break your will…”_

Lucas narrowed his eyes at Bobby.

“Bobby?”

“Yes, Lucas?” Baker’s cheeks started heating up under physio’s intense stare.

“Are you trying to keep me away from the kitchen?” His eyes found Kisa.

She was sitting on the counter, her short dress rolled up on to her thighs, one foot resting against the barstool and another swaying gently in rhythm with the music. Her fingers slowed down as she elicited softer notes out of the instrument.

“It’s been a tough day, mate,” Bobby put his hand onto Lucas’ shoulder, mentally noticing that he was the only person the older man allowed such an over-familiarity.

“Was it?” Lucas scowled. “Hadn’t noticed.”

He had no idea what the fuck was going on in her head. After their _‘moment’_ at the gym, she hadn’t spent even ten seconds around him, excluding challenges. Whenever he was around, she’d just skip off without ever looking back, and it wasn’t her usual catch-me game. She’s been avoiding him, and he felt like a boiling kettle with a closed lid – he was ready to boil out at any given second.

“I just want to grab a fucking drink, Bobby,” He sighed, calming his breath. “If she has a problem with that, she’s free to fuck off.”

He didn’t mean to say that, but he was too tired. His emotions have wore him out, he was sick with himself for everything she made him feel, and he just couldn’t deal with it anymore.

He pushed himself past Bobby and walked into the kitchen.

_“…Are you sick like me?..”_

Kisa’s voice trembled as she slowly opened her eyes. He was standing just a few steps away from her, staring into her face with an unreadable expression. She swallowed hard through the lump in her throat, trying to avert her gaze but couldn’t. His blazing stare wouldn’t let her, his dark-chocolate eyes burned into her so deeply, it felt like he could see her insides.

He was furious, but his anger was cold and sharp, like an ice pick, nothing like her blood-boiling madness – at least, that was what she could see in those eyes of his. He was just as angry with her as she was with herself.

She wasn’t avoiding him because of him, she’s been avoiding him because around him, she was the worst possible version of herself, and she didn’t want to be that person. She wanted to be the girl Kassam saw in her, she wanted to be that girl so fucking bad, it started driving her insane.

She had no idea how much time they’ve spent staring into each other’s eyes before Priya cheerfully squealed and started clapping.

“I love it when you sing!” She pushed herself past Lucas and wrapped her arm around Kisa’s shoulders. “We should do this every night!”

Lucas walked over the counter to grab one of the cocktail glasses. He could feel Kassam’s eyes burning holes in his back but quite frankly, he didn’t care. He meant what he said after the dumping, he had no intention of giving up. He liked what he saw, and he wanted what he saw, and he couldn’t care less if someone’s feelings might’ve get hurt in the process.

Bobby and Priya were both trying to make the atmosphere in the kitchen less tense, and Lucas’ lips twitched slightly as he fought back a sniggering grin – he was very well aware that he was the main reason of the said tension. She couldn’t run away now, not when her dearest Kassam was watching her every movement, reading her like a book.

_A rather cryptic book._

He still had no idea what the fuck had happened at the gym – or, rather, what she thought happened there.

Whatever it was, it clearly took a toll on her, and Lucas was tired of watching her faking smiles and running a mile whenever he was near.

“A word,” He said loud enough for everyone to hear but calmly enough not to make a huge scene out of it.

Kassam frowned.

“Excuse us, we’re in the middle of a conversation.”

“ _You_ ,” Lucas spat out the word. “Can carry on with the conversation,” He looked at Kisa. “I’d like to have a _chat_ with you. Please.”

Her skin prickled with goosebumps at the steel in his voice, and Kisa just nodded, unsure if she could trust her own voice.

Slowly, she slid off the counter and put Gia on the barstool.

“I’ll be right back,” She said softly to Kassam and gave him a lingering kiss on the lips before following Lucas back into the Villa. She thought he was taking her up to the roof terrace, but instead, he pushed her roughly into the bathroom and followed her there, locking the door.

“What the fuck?” She scowled, looking up at him. She left her shoes downstairs and was now much shorter than the man in front of her. “Since when holding conversations on a toilet seat is a thing?”

“Shut up,” Lucas hissed, suddenly losing his poise.

Kisa cocked her head staring at him in disbelief, her blood slowly boiling in her veins. She clenched her teeth and walked towards the sink and propped herself up onto the counter, focusing on her breath. She wasn’t going to lose it, not again. If she loses control this time, she might end up hurting him, and she was already terrified with herself enough.

“Why the fuck you’ve been avoiding me?” Lucas stopped before her, looking down at the girl.

She kept silent staring back at him, and his palms balled into fists.

“For fuck’s sake!” He hit the counter next to her thigh. “Speak!”

She tiled her head.

“Are you bipolar or something?” She looked at him with a dash of aversion. “Do you want me to shut up or speak?”

He growled in frustration, barely holding himself from grabbing her shoulders.

“That’s not an answer.”

She could feel the anger spreading from him in waves, washing over her body, but she managed to find a way to control it. After everything he’d done to her, it was her turn to push him too far, too hard.

“You…” Lucas took a deep breath as his mind started screaming at him to just leave. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” She asked calmly, arching an eyebrow slightly.

The air between them was crackling with electricity, and she could swear it smelled like ozone as if there was a storm coming.

He felt like a fucking monster when he had to physically hold himself from wrapping his hands around her neck, and his eyes fell close for a second as his mind threw a picture of her pale skin all covered with bruises from his fingers.

“Stop. Fucking. With. My. Head,” He spat out, snapping his eyes open. “Tell me what the fuck is wrong!”

“What is wrong?” She hissed, her body tensing the same moment. “What is wrong?!” Her voice broke into a scream.

She jumped off the sink, taking a step towards Lucas, and he almost backed down at this sudden rage. Her eyes were filled with so much hate his pulse jumped up, heart hammering so hard in his chest, it was a miracle it didn’t break the ribcage. Her face twisted as she grabbed his shirt with her hands, pulling him closer, and the heatwave from her body almost knocked him off his feet, making his own body respond with equal emotion.

“Yes,” He spat out, and his hand flung to grab hers to push her back. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

She hated him so much at that moment, her entire body screamed.

“You!”

It was supposed to be a scream but her voice broke and it came out as a choked whisper.

“You are what’s fucking wrong with me!”

Her hands pushed him into the wall, and his back and head hit the tiles, blurring his vision for a moment. She was strong, and in her anger, she was barely manageable, her hands just crushed against his chest, sending blow after blow. She couldn’t control herself, he turned her into a monster, an animal that couldn’t control itself.

She was crying but didn’t seem to be aware of that, tears running down her face in streams.

“You fucking ruined me,” She croaked when he finally shook himself into action and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her hands to her sides. “I hate you, I hate you so fucking hard.”

She strained in his tight grip but just this once he didn’t let her take control. She was breathing heavily, her entire body buzzing like a taut wire, and he studied her face for a second, his eyes buried deep into hers.

Without a word, he moved his hands to grab her ass and pushed her up, spinning around until she was the one pressed into the wall.

“Let me go!” Her now free hand flew up and slapped over his face.

He hissed and pinned her harder against the wall with his body, making her wrap her legs around his hips. Her eyes widened when his hard dick pressed against her, and she tried to push him back again.

“No,” He hissed, trying to grab her wrist with his hands.

“Let. Me. Go,” She spat out, almost moaning when he ground into her.

He managed to catch one of her hands and pinned it to the wall above her head, and her other hand slapped him even harder, leaving a red spot on his other cheek as well.

“You happy now?” He asked, grabbing her other hand.

“I’ll be happy when you get the hell out of my life,” She retorted, tightening her legs around him, and a loud groan escaped his mouth.

“You’ll never be happy then,” He blurted before pressing his mouth roughly against her.

Their teeth bumped, and both of them gasped in pain. She got used to pain many years ago, studying martial arts taught her not to notice it when needed, and now she used his holdback to bite down on his lower lip, drawing blood.

He tasted metal in his mouth and felt hot sticky liquid running down his chin, but only pressed his lips harder against hers, pushing his tongue into her mouth, making her taste his blood. His mind was racing, and his heart was ready to give out when her tongue found his, fighting for dominance, and she bucked her hips, pressing herself even harder into him.

He grabbed both of her wrists with one hand, and she let him hold her hands above her head, he knew she _allowed_ it and for some reason, it was so damn hot, his dick throbbed in his pants. Roughly, his nails scratched her thigh before his hand snaked between their bodies.

Her lace knickers were wet with her desire for him, and he groaned into her mouth, pushing the fabric aside to slid two fingers inside of her, and her body arched into him as he curled them upwards. She was so hot and tight, and just the thought of how fucking good it’ll feel to be inside of her almost sent him into overdrive.

She cursed through clenched teeth, dropping her head onto his shoulder for a moment as his fingers pumped in and out of her, his wrist hurting from the awkward angle. She twisted her hands, easily escaping his grip, and reached between their bodies, unbuckling his belt hastily.

He wanted to fuck her since the moment he first saw her on the TV-screen, but back then he had no idea that he’ll want something more, too. He had no idea that he’s going to want to take her back home with him and never let her out of his sight for longer than ten minutes.

She wrapped her fingers tightly around the base of his dick and pushed herself onto him, drawing a feral growl out of the man.

“Shut the fuck up.”

She slapped him before grabbing his face with her fingers, making him look into her eyes as he was thrusting into her. Her pupils were blown to the point he couldn’t see the green iris, and her stare was so intense he almost averted his gaze.

“No,” She dug her nails deep into his shoulder. “Look at me.”

She rolled her hips erratically, messing with his rhythm, taking him as deep as possible, and his eyes almost rolled back into his head as he moaned.

“I said, shut up,” She let go of his face to push four of her fingers into his mouth.

She was fucking him, that was the last thought that his brain managed before it turned off completely. He had no idea how much time have passed since they left the others, and he didn’t care. Whatever that fucking DJ might’ve been thinking, she belonged to him, Lucas knew it. Whatever _she_ might’ve been thinking.

He grazed her fingers with his tongue before withdrawing her hand from his mouth and leaning forward to leave a messy path of kisses down her neck and across her chest. She felt so fucking good, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it.

She belonged to him.

She moaned quietly when his lips moved further down her body and bit down on her nipple through the silk fabric of her dress. This wasn’t enough, he had to make sure she knew who she belonged to.

 _You can’t do it,_ his brain slowly turned back on as his teeth found a spot in the hollow of her collarbone. He growled desperately, feeling the _need_ to mark her, somehow.

She tilted her head to watch him, and for the first time, she saw him, raw and bare. His face was twisted with pleasure and some kind of internal battle. She could see his bared teeth as if he was ready to bite her, and this picture sent a shudder through her body.

He wanted to claim her.

She was probably too high on hatefuck, but this realization alone was enough for the coil in her core to start unwinding, sending waves of pleasure all over her body. Without hesitation, she pushed her fingers into his gelled hair, stretched another arm and guided his face to the flesh on the inner side of her bicep.

A second of confusion – and his eyes widened in realization.

Her body started trembling and she gave him a nod before her head lolled back and her eyes fell shut. She started pulsing around him, moving frantically, and his lips pressed against her skin, sucking it into his mouth and biting down hard. Her hand in his hair clenched into a fist, pulling his hair roughly as she finally came undone, screaming silently.

The world exploded with a thousand fireworks under his closed eyelids, his body moving brokenly as he came deep inside of her, groaning into her arm, barely managing to keep hold of her body as he slammed into her. A wave of emotions came crashing onto him, he felt everything at once, everything that he wasn’t sure he was able to feel.

His hands tightened on her waist as his movements finally slowed down. His knees almost buckled but he just pressed his body into Kisa’s staring deeply into her eyes as if trying to find there an answer to the question he never asked.

“Are you going to put me back down or is this how we’ll be moving around the Villa from now on?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

Lucas slowly lowered her to the floor, and she brushed her hair out of her face casually and walked towards the cabinet to grab a fresh towel. He followed her movements with his eyes, trying to figure out what was off. She wasn’t yelling at him, she wasn’t mad or upset, she didn’t rush back to others, she was… unfazed. Like nothing happened.

Since neither of them bothered turning on the main lights, the bathroom was dimly lit with just one lamp, and Kisa just pulled her dress up her body and yanked it off.

“What are you doing?” His voice was still raspy and slightly trembling.

“Taking a shower,” She glanced at him and hooked her fingers into the clasps of her sheer lace bra. “And changing.”

He swallowed hard when she just threw the piece of fabric aside. When she reached her panties, his brain finally snapped back on.

“What the fuck?!” He stepped forward, grabbing a towel to cover her breasts. “It’s not dark enough for the cameras to go blind.”

Kisa shrugged.

“So? Not like they can show boobs on national TV.”

“There are people who edit footage,” He frowned as his brain pictured some wanker jerking off looking at her naked body.

“So, you think my boobs will impress them more than you fucking me into the wall?” She quirked an eyebrow at him and then shrugged. “Anyway, I don’t care.”

She snatched the towel from his hands and moved to the shower stall.

“Be a lamb, chuck this into the dry clean basket,” She threw her knickers into the small pile of clothes on the floor and closed the thick glass door behind herself.

Kisa turned the hot tap on and pressed her back against the cold tiles, watching the steam as it spread all around her. She secured her hair on top of her head and leaned forward, letting the hot streams of water run down her body. Immediately, her fair skin turned red, itching and burning, distracting the girl from her thoughts.

There wasn’t a word to describe what she felt at that moment. She wasn’t even sure she was capable to feel so much – and yet, she felt it. Everything.

She felt everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	28. Rain of Glass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Once you fall, you'll never leave me, always on a different chart  
> Why you talking like you think you know me? You don't own my time  
> You can try it all you want to  
> 'Cause you'll never get me off your mind..."
> 
> [I Don't Wanna Be - Bülow, BLVTH]

“Kisa.”

She just walked out of the Beach Hut where she’d spent the longest twenty minutes of her life, talking about what happened yesterday between her and Lucas, as if she already didn’t feel like garbage.

“Bobby,” She stared back at him. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you,” Baker said simply. “You’ve been avoiding everyone for the past twenty-four hours, and I want to know why.”

He stepped forward, cornering Kisa, and she rolled her eyes: this new, confident Bobby was even more annoying than joking about sucking toes Bobby and everyone’s friend Bobby combined. After the boys got back from Casa, the baker became a changed man, and while she was happy for Priya, this changed man was also too observant and persevering to Kisa’s liking. Especially, when it came to him forcing her to share her feelings.

And she didn’t want to talk about her feelings, just like she didn’t want to feel them.

Kisa frowned at him, crossing her arms over her chest, and Bobby backed off with a heavy sigh, admitting defeat.

“We’re just worried, okay?”

“Why?” She frowned. “I just wanted to spend time with the guy I’m coupled with. What’s so strange about that?”

Her guilt wouldn’t let her leave Kassam even for a second. Every time she looked at the DJ, she could only see Lucas’ face twisted with painful pleasure, and her heart started racing, and she could barely manage to keep herself together, and it was driving her insane. She was constantly with Kassam, and she constantly was thinking about another man, and it felt like torture that she deserved.

“Nothing,” Bobby’s brows furrowed.

Everything was wrong about Kisa, especially hanging on Kassam’s arm every second of the day because it wasn’t her. It was one thing to spend time with him, but she wasn’t doing just that – she was acting as if she was trying to compensate for something, and both Bobby and Priya had their guesses.

Lucas seemed to be off, too. He started spending more time with Gary and Rahim at the gym or doing laps in the swimming pool, and Bobby knew that it wasn’t a coincidence. And the worst part was that Kassam knew it, too, but never showed it to Kisa.

“Look,” The baker put his hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Just know that we’re here for you, okay? We’ve got your back.”

She nodded stiffly, not trusting her voice to say anything through the sudden lump in her throat. She fucked up, she fucked up so hard, she had no idea how to fix it. She had no idea how much of what had happened will be aired but even if it wasn’t, was she capable of hiding the fact that she’d slept with someone else from Kassam?

Kisa’s phone beeped too loudly in the complete silence.

“Fuck, I hate this,” She looked at Bobby.

“I’m starting to hate it, too,” They both walked out of the building, and the Scot yelped: “Guys! Kisa’s got a text!”

“Thanks,” She smirked.

“You’re so welcome,” Bobby grinned back. “Gotta maintain the allure of mystery, eh?”

She nudged him on a shoulder as they waited for the rest islanders to gather around.

“Islanders, time to put your cake decorating skills to a test in Master Baker challenge,” She read, rolling her eyes.

“I swear to god, they’ve made this challenge ‘pacifically’ for Bobs,” Gary grinned.

“I’m buzzing!” Bobby wrapped his arm around Kisa’s shoulders. “I reckon, we got in a pocket!”

Kisa’s eyes found Kassam, and he gave her a little smile, following Priya to the challenge stage. Involuntarily, she threw a glance at Lottie and Lucas who were walking close – too close – to each other, both grinning.

“Okay, take your positions, people,” One of the producers ordered the girls, pushing Kisa towards the center table, between Priya and Lottie, and the staff members started tying up their hands.

“That’s freaky,” Priya smirked.

“Their knots are too sloppy,” Kisa blurted out before biting her tongue.

“Are they?” Kassam’s cheeks went bright pink.

She was hyper-aware of Lucas’ presence even though she couldn’t see him as she turned around to sit down at the table. Somehow, her body could feel him even from a few feet apart, and it was driving her mad, just thinking about him, about his hands on her body, his teeth buried into her flesh.

“Now, lads, please.”

Bobby’s stomach pressed against Kisa’s back when he slid his hands over her shoulders, his eyes covered with a mask. She felt the moment when Lucas’ stare stopped burning holes in her back and let out a small sigh of relief. He was still there, but at least, he couldn’t see her anymore, couldn’t see how tense and on edge she was because of him.

“Hey,” Priya bent over to whisper, almost knocking Kassam off his feet. “Have some fun with it, okay?”

Kisa nodded, trying to get rid of the bitter taste in her mouth, and glanced at Lottie, who was holding her phone in her tied hands. Lucas’ hands were hanging freely above her lap, his body tipped forward a bit as they were whispering to each other. As if he felt her stare, Lucas turned his head in her direction, and for a moment, Kisa felt like their eyes locked.

Lottie’s phone beeped announcing the start of the challenge, and Kisa returned her gaze to the table before her.

“Okay, Bobby,” She stared blankly at the bowl in front of her. “I find it ridiculously unfair that I’ve been paired with a pastry chef for days and this is the first time I got to see you making a cake for me.”

Bobby chuckled into her ear.

“Message received,” He shuffled slightly closer. “Okay, where’s the icing?”

“You mean a bowl full of sticky stuff?”

“You’re literally the worst,” Bobby laughed.

“Priya!” Kisa braced herself forward dramatically. “He’s being so mean!”

A few people chuckled, and she finally felt the knot in her stomach slightly loosening up.

“Okay, move your right hand down and to the right and… that’s my leg,” She giggled uncontrollably.

“Are you… ticklish?” Bobby sounded amused.

“No… No, Bobby, don’t even think about it!” Kisa gasped when the baker’s fingers brushed up and down her knee. “Behave, you cheeky sod!”

Her body relaxed slightly as she and Bobby continued with the cake, playfully bantering, and slowly, she felt like her world stopped crumbling down around her. Everyone else seemed to be having fun decorating their cakes, even though none of the couples were romantic, maybe, except Gary and Shannon, who looked pleased with each other.

“Does it look okay?” Bobby finished smoothing out the icing.

“Mhm,” Kisa barely hold back a chuckle. “Remind me, why are we using three different colors?”

“We’re making a rainbow cake.”

“Oh, in honor of the famous Lobby kiss?” Priya chimed in.

“The what now?” Lucas sputtered, turning his head towards the sound of Priya’s voice and almost knocking a bowl with strawberries off the table.

“I’ll link you up when we’re out of here,” The girl snorted with laughter before returning to her and Kassam’s cake.

Bobby let out an exaggerated sigh. “Okay, now, what else do we have?”

Kisa guided him to the bowl of fresh strawberries, her gaze wandering over to the couple on her right. Lottie was trying to guide Lucas to a bowl of melted chocolate, and the older girl watched them for a few moments, feeling her breath quickening when the physio’s fingers grabbed Lottie’s hand instead of a bowl, and both giggled.

She’s been avoiding him, but he seemed to be okay with it. If not for his blazing stare burning holes in her body, she’d thought he had moved on from her.

 _He did,_ she reminded herself. _He got what he wanted_.

He wronged her up so hard, but she couldn’t stop thinking about him, and it was excruciating. Her mind was agonizing, and the worst part? She had no one but herself to blame. She was the hostage of his presence, unable to control her own gaze that kept wandering to where he was every time they were in the same physical space – and she tried to avoid those moments religiously.

He felt her staring, and he slowed his movements deliberately, letting her watch his hand trace up the table before it grabbed a few berries, his thumb brushing over the strawberry as he thought about her lips. Kisa’s breath stuttered for a moment as she followed his hands, and the heat rushed through her body, centering in the pit of her stomach with a tight pulsing knot.

A shudder ran through her body, and she had to bite down on her lip, distracting herself with pain.

“You okay?” Bobby’s breath stuttered when she trembled in his arms.

“Y-yeah, I’m alright, I-it’s just too hot today.”

“Do you need some water?” Lottie glanced at Kisa before nudging Lucas. “Give her my bottle, it’s on your left.”

Hypnotized, she watched his fingers travel across the table slowly before grabbing the water bottle. He took a step left, his right arm still holding onto Lottie’s shoulder.

“Would be nice if she actually made a sound,” He said irritably.

“One more step,” Kisa swallowed heavily, hating Lottie’s sudden generosity.

“What’s going on?” Bobby’s hand slipped and flopped across the girl’s chest. “Would you stop jerking? I’m trying to decorate this thing.”

“That’s what he said,” Priya snickered, watching them, her and Kassam’s cake almost ready. “Okay, babe, now we’ve got to sprinkle those glitters and we’re done,” She glanced at Lucas as he finally reached Kisa and hurried to distract Kassam with complicated directions.

Lucas’ hand brushed Bobby’s arm, and the baker giggled, moving slightly aside. Finally, long, warm fingers touched her cheek, and Kisa stopped breathing. The entire thing only took a few seconds, but it felt like it’s been forever, his movements were too slow, too carnal, and she barely contained a moan when his thumb ran across her lips.

He leaned over, pressing the bottle against her mouth, and she took a few frantic gulps, almost choking when his hand slipped to her neck and his fingers dug into her skin.

Lottie’s phone beeped breaking the moment. “Islanders, just one more minute.”

Lucas pushed back without a word, returning to his cake, and Kisa only could do the same, praying for her heartbeat to slow down. She could still feel his fingers on her skin, and it was maddening how her body was reacting to him.

“How does it look?” Bobby wondered snapping Kisa out of the haze. “Got to admit, you were no help.”

“Hey!” Kisa wiggled a little. “You’re the baker here!”

“Don’t worry, Bobby,” Priya leaned forward. “I’ll dedicate my victory to you, you sore loser.”

Kisa looked to her left and sighed: Kassam did an incredible job, and she was pretty sure that Bobby will be upset to see their mess of a cake.

“Time’s up!” Lottie announced, and everyone turned to the cameras, waiting for the producers to finally let the staff untie everyone.

Lucas could feel the tension coming from Kisa’s body even now, could still feel the sensation of his fingertips on her skin, and it took all of his willpower to control his body. She’s been avoiding him, again, only with the difference, that now she’s been avoiding her friends, too. Whenever he saw her, she was with the fucking DJ, and with each passing minute, it became harder and harder to restrain himself from punching the guy.

When the results were finally announced and Priya and Kassam headed to the kitchen with a cake in their hands, Bobby caught up with Lucas and Lottie.

“Hey, would you mind if I grab him for a moment?” Bobby asked Lottie, and the blonde shrugged, joining Gary and Shannon on the beanbags.

“Daybeds?”

“Wow, aren’t you supposed to buy me dinner first?” Lucas smirked, and the younger guy rolled his eyes, wrapping his arm around his waist.

“Anything for you, darlin’.”

They flopped on the daybed, and Bobby rested his head on his hand, looking at Lucas studyingly. The older man looked even more reserved and in his head than usual, and it pained Bobby to see his mate so torn.

With a sigh, he said quietly: “What’s going on, Lucas? Between you and her.”

Lucas knew this conversation was bound to happen. Surprisingly, the producers never tried to ask him about what happened in the bathroom, and, apparently, they let Kisa off the hook as well – at least, for now. He had no clue if they were going to use that footage later, frankly, he couldn’t care less, he was too consumed with his own feelings to care about someone else’s.

“We hooked up,” He responded after a long pause, not meeting Bobby’s eyes.

“Oh… Oh!”

“Shh, Bobby,” Lucas pressed his hand to Bobby’s mouth, looking around. “Do you need me to kiss you again to shut you up?”

Bobby’s eyes widened and sparkled mischievously. With an eye-roll, the older man pulled back and rested his head against the pillows.

“So… How… when?” Bobby was at lost for words.

He and Priya have been building up all the possible theories but neither of them thought that the couple would go this far, not with Kassam in the picture. The baker frowned a little to himself but shook it off hastily: he liked the DJ, but Lucas was his friend, he’s been there for him when Bobby was a complete mess during Casa Amor, and he owned him the same treatment.

“Look,” Bobby rolled onto his stomach. “You and she should talk. Whatever had happened between the two of you, it’s clearly affecting both of you.”

“Hard to talk to someone when they’re never around,” Lucas huffed. “I think, it’s very obvious, where she stands.

Kisa’s laughter echoed across the lawn as Kassam and Priya chased her into the pool, and all three of them jumped into the water.

“I do think she likes you,” Bobby said slowly. “That’s the problem. She likes you too much and it scares her. She’s been through a lot, her walls are higher than the Tower. And you…” Bobby paused for a moment before continuing, choosing his words carefully. “You don’t want anything serious – or, you never told her that you do.”

Lucas listened to the baker, and a line on his forehead became deeper with each word. He knew she was deeply hurt, knew she had all those issues, and he also knew very well that he never tried to change her opinion on him. He was fine with her thinking that he wasn’t looking for anything serious because he wasn’t – up until he met her.

“I… wouldn’t mind if something serious happened between us,” He finally forced himself to admit.

“C’mon, mate, you can do better,” Bobby tutted. “If you want her to believe you, you’ve got to be honest.”

The older guy looked at the baker. “Since when you’ve become so wise, McKenzie?”

Bobby chuckled.

“Since I’ve started hanging out with your girl, _Koh_. She told me this when she helped me with Mr. Love Island. You know, to be a man enough not to let my insecurities stay in the way of my own happiness.”

He sat up on the daybed looking deeply into the brown eyes.

“Just tell her how you feel. Even if you don’t know it yet, still, just tell her.”

“What… what if she doesn’t believe me?”

“Then tell her again. And again. And then a dozen times more. But mostly, just _show_ her. Show her that you care and show her that even though you can’t make promises, you want her for more than just a few weeks.”

Bobby’s lips curled into a small mischievous grin. “Ultimately, stop creeping on her and start courting.”

Before Lucas could’ve replied, Bobby’s phone beeped.

“Guys! Got a text!”

The baker yelped excitedly, deafening the guy next to him.

“You and Priya are the couple made in hell,” Lucas rolled his eyes but his chest filled with warmth involuntarily when he saw a happy smile playing on the baker’s lips when his girlfriend joined them, leaving trails of water all around herself.

“What’s up, Bobs?” Gary wondered when everyone gathered by the daybeds.

“Islanders! Tonight, there will be a recoupling. The girls will choose.”

Bobby’s face lit up with the smile as his hand found Priya’s. “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	29. Black Lace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “...Still wonder where you are  
> If you're gonna call me in the dark  
> Cause I need your love and I need you so  
> To make me feel whole...”
> 
> [Make Me Feel - Twisted Psykie]

“Stop fidgeting,” Kisa tugged on Priya’s hand. “What are you so nervous about?”

Priya sighed and looked at the younger girl. All the girls have already gathered at the firepit, and the two of them took their places in the middle of the bench, between Lottie and Shannon.

“I don’t even know why I’m so nervous,” She finally said. “It’s stupid.”

“It is absolutely stupid,” Kisa nodded in agreement. “You and Bobby are an official couple, who cares about the show? Even if someone picks him out of the blue, you two will still be together.”

The older girl nodded. “You’re right. I just… I miss sleeping next to him.”

“I can tell,” Kisa chuckled. “That’s why the two of you constantly take naps on the daybeds.”

The sound of approaching footsteps snapped them out of their conversation, and the air around them changed the second the boys lined up across the firepit from the girls. Kisa caught Kassam’s gaze and smiled at him reassuringly before casting a glance towards Lucas.

He tried to talk to her just before the recoupling, but she just skipped off, and now, she had this horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that she had no name for. She didn’t have names for many feelings that he made her feel, so it wasn’t anything new – but this knot inside of her kept torturing her.

She knew what she had to do, she knew what she wanted to do – and she knew what she was going to do, but still, her heart was pounding out of her chest when someone’s phone beeped.

“It’s mine,” Priya sighed with relief and got up to her feet, a huge grin plastered to her face. “Bobby.”

Bobby ran towards her, wrapping his arms around his girl’s waist, and kissed her deeply to the sound of his friends cheering for them.

“What the hell was that?” One of the producers stepped forward. “Where’s the fucking speech?”

Kisa watched Bobby as he returned to his place and then waited until Priya comes up with a sappy speech that no one needed. Cheering for them for the second time, she tried to calm her racing pulse but was failing miserably. Again, her eyes darted to Lucas, and this time, he looked straight into her eyes, almost burning holes in her face with his blazing stare.

No matter how hard she’s been trying, she couldn’t erase the memories of his hands on her body, and his mouth torturing her lips, and his teeth digging into her arm to mark her, to claim her as his own. No one could see it, only she knew about it, and somehow, it made her feel even worse than if he left bruises all over her body.

This small, hidden mark was the evidence of her dark secret, evidence of her betraying someone who’s been nothing but good to her, and it’s been killing her to know that at some point she’ll have to tell Kassam about what happened between her and Lucas and how her DJ will die a little bit inside.

They never talked that they were exclusive and only for each other, but with Kassam, it was implied, because he was just like her, he was the one to fall too fast and too hard – and he didn’t have time for games. He was the only person who saw her the way she wanted to be seen, the only person she just knew won’t ever hurt her, the only person who did not deserve what she’s done to him.

She hated herself for what she’s done, and she knew she deserved every second of this agony.

“It’s me,” She said quietly when her phone buzzed.

Slowly, she got up to her feet, staring into space before her. She had no words to say, she was too torn, too scared, and too much in pain. She wanted to tell Kassam how deeply sorry she was, and how she would’ve undone everything if it was only possible.

She would’ve told Lucas that she was the only one to blame for falling for, for falling for him so hard she was willing to break someone’s heart just for ten minutes with him. She would’ve told him that she knew she’ll fall for him from the moment she saw him and that she was terrified of all the things he made her feel.

She would’ve told them both how deeply sorry she was – but she couldn’t.

Lucas’ eyes were glued to the mask on her face that he could see right through, and what he saw almost made him just skip towards her and sweep her and carry her away. Her face was wrenched with pain underneath that mask, he could see it in her eyes, and his heart fluttered in his chest: was this because of him? For him? Was she preparing herself to dump her little boy and finally choose him?

He couldn’t even take a proper breath when she started talking, too nervous and caught up in his own feelings to pay any attention as the white noise filled his eardrums. He didn’t know he was capable of such emotions, but here they were, crumbling down all his defenses, erasing all his convictions.

He wanted her, only her, now and tomorrow, and fifty years after. Just her, this stubborn, fierce, and sometimes terrifying girl whose eyes were the color of Irish moss, and who smelt like all his favorite memories.

“…Kassam,” She finished her sentence, and the world under Lucas’ feet started spinning.

“You alright?” Gary patted his shoulder, and the physio nodded stiffly: he was very far from being alright.

When Kassam broke into a smile and strode over to give her a kiss, Kisa’s eyes wandered involuntarily to Lucas, just to see him staring blankly into space, his face absolutely unfazed, and her heart sunk in her chest.

 _Sure, he doesn’t care. Why would he_ , she thought bitterly to herself. _He’s got what he wanted, remember?_

She and Kassam took their places on the bench, and Bobby sent a concerned glance to Lucas who just shrugged slightly. The baker frowned, not believing his mate’s act for even a second. He knew how good the older man was at hiding his true emotions, so Bobby learned to look past that mask, and what he saw at that moment, scared him.

He liked Kassam, but he hated seeing his friend in pain, and mentally he kicked Kisa twice, asking her to stop being so blind and guarded.

Priya’s hand squeezed Bobby’s knee, and she leaned into him to whisper as Shannon positioned herself before the boys. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” He whispered back, wounding his arm around her shoulders. “She chose wrong,” He blurted out suddenly.

“What?” Priya’s eyes widened.

“Nothing,” Bobby was ready to throw himself off the nearest cliff.

“Do you know anything?” His girlfriend insisted, and Bobby let out a small sigh of frustration: knowing Priya, he might’ve as well just told her everything now.

“I’ll tell you once we’re done, okay?”

She nodded slowly, resting her head on his shoulder, and his heart filled with love for this girl. He loved her so much it was a miracle he’s been able to keep it to himself this entire time without blurting it out on the night when the boys got back from Casa. Since then, he’s been whispering these words to her while she was sleeping or laughing or just talking to other people – and he knew that she loved him back, he felt it in her every touch.

And being so happy, he wanted to make his friends happy, too.

He missed the moment Lottie chose Lucas, and the two of them embraced tightly.

“Save that passion for the night,” Lucas chuckled, and the girl nudged him playfully on a shoulder, flopping down on the bench next to her partner.

“You alright?” Kassam whispered to Kisa when her body suddenly tensed.

“Um? Yeah, I’m fine,” She nodded, trying not to stare at _his_ arm resting over Lottie’s shoulders. “Just tired.”

“Yeah, it’s been a rough couple of days,” He kissed her cheek, and Kisa felt the knot in her stomach loosening just a little. “We should go to bed early. I’ll give you a massage.”

She smiled at him softly and pulled him into a kiss the second the producer announced the end of the recoupling. She immersed into the kiss, and only the sound of her beeping phone made her pull away slightly.

“The Hideaway is open,” She couldn’t help a little grin as her eyes fell on Bobby.

Before she could’ve said anything, Lucas said lazily: “Our vote is for Pribby.”

“The what now?” Priya’s eyes widened, and Lottie rolled her eyes.

“I came up with your ship name, you’re welcome.”

“Our vote is for them, too,” Kisa smiled at the couple before turning to Lottie. “I’ve been calling them Bobiya, but I like yours more.”

She was happy for her friends, watching them as they headed towards the dressing rooms to get ready for the night, she couldn’t help but smile.

“Hey, would you mind hanging out with me while I’m getting… unready?” Priya looked at Kisa over the shoulder.

“Go,” Kassam nudged her slightly. “I’ll keep the bed warm for you.”

She kissed him gently and caught up to the older girl, wrapping her arm around Priya’s waist. In comfortable silence, they both went to the girls’ dressing room and flopped on the poufs before the mirror. Kisa evaluated herself in the mirror and sighed before reaching for makeup wipes.

“You okay?” Priya asked her gently, removing the rest of her mascara.

“Yeah,” They younger girl nodded.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

Kisa laughed bitterly. “I know. But I don’t want to talk about it now while you’re getting ready to spend the night with your boyfriend who – I swear to God – whispered ‘I love you’ four times today.”

“Six,” Priya grinned. “Twice when we were napping.”

A happy, content smile stretched across the older girl’s lips. “I’m gonna say it tonight.”

Kisa pushed herself forward, wrapping Priya into a tight embrace, and smiled into her long, dark-red hair.

“About time, Bobby’s whispering has become creepy, to be honest.”

Giggling, they both went into the bathroom, taking turns in the shower. Kisa stepped out of the stall, ignoring the memories of her own body pressed against the wall while Lucas was pounding into her, and joined Priya at the sink.

“Moisturizer?”

She nodded, and the older girl extended her hand with an open jar in it, and Kisa almost let out a frustrated groan as her mind flashed a memory of Lucas standing behind her, applying moisturizer. That day seemed so long ago, and she didn’t know why her head suddenly decided to torture her with that vision.

When Priya left, Kisa stared at her reflection, trying to calm herself down. Picking Kassam was the right thing to do, she only had to figure out how to tell him about Lucas and… Someone’s muffled laugh snapped her out of her thoughts, and Kisa raised her head, listening. She could hear voices coming from just above her, and one of those voices was painfully familiar.

“You gullible girl,” Lucas chuckled, and Lottie’s soft laughter almost made Kisa’s heart jump into her throat.

Unable to control herself, she flew up the stairs and pushed the rooftop door open, startling the couple on the bench.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Kisa spat out. “I just wanted to catch some air.”

Lottie’s eyebrows arched, and she glanced at Lucas before slowly getting up. “I’m gonna take a shower while everyone else is still outside.”

When the blonde girl left, Kisa shut the door close and took a few steps towards the man. He said nothing, only watched her through half-lidded, tired eyes.

“So, you and Lottie are now a thing?” She couldn’t even bother to hide her jealousy. “I should’ve guessed.”

He cocked his eyebrow. “What do you care?”

Her heart stopped in her chest. _He didn’t deny it._

A hot wave washed through her body, pushing her forward until she was towering just above him, her face red with anger, and pupils were blown. Roughly, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He grabbed her waist to balance himself, but the next moment she pushed him into a wall next to the door, pressing her body into his.

“I don’t care,” She breathed out before crushing her mouth against his, pushing her tongue into his mouth forcefully.

Her hands moved to coil his neck, and her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling on it roughly to make him lower his head. She hated his jelled hair, and his stupid shark tooth necklace, and his button-up, she hated every little thing about him, and she couldn’t get enough of him.

His hands finally came into movement, clasping on her ass and hoisting her up, and she wrapped her legs around his hip tightly, grinding into him. She was already wearing her silk nightie, so short it immediately rolled above her hips.

“Good,” He growled into her mouth, panting. “Because I don’t care, either.”

He pinned her to the wall with his body and moved his hands to unbuckle his belt while she worked to unbutton his shirt. His skin felt burning hot under her fingers, he was so aglow, he could’ve burned them both.

She leaned over to bite his naked shoulder, and a shudder ran through his body. Lucas shimmied out of the shirt and pushed her knickers aside, locking their eyes for a second, looking for her approval. She looked back at him, not a single muscle in her face twitch, she gave him nothing, waiting for the man’s reaction.

He let out a frustrated groan, and she saw it: he did care. His eyes betrayed him, and she finally saw what he’s been hiding all this time.

Wordless, she pushed herself onto his hard cock, and they both stilled for a moment, overwhelmed. She felt it just like the first time, everything, only now there was no fear. Somehow, she just knew that whatever was about to happen, it was supposed to be that way.

Uncertainly, he leaned into her and pressed his mouth to hers in a deep, drawn-out kiss while his hips were rocking against her. She tasted of mint toothpaste and smelled of exotic flowers, and her skin was so soft under his touch it made his heart swell in his chest.

Something has changed about her, just now.

She stopped fighting him.

She stopped trying to be in control.

This simple thought sent a shockwave through his body almost sending him over the edge. Unable to believe, he grabbed both of her hands and pinned them against the wall above her head. She only gave him a slightly puzzled look but said nothing just lolled her head back, closing her eyes.

She expected him to start moving faster, rougher, but instead, he lowered her hands back onto his shoulders and nuzzled his face into her neck, kissing her gently. Uncertainly, she weaved her arms around him, stroking his back as he was pumping into her deliberately.

Something has changed about him.

He stopped trying to take control of her.

She snapped her eyes open at this realization and pulled on his hair, making Lucas look her in the eye. His stare was full of lust and… care? Tenderness? Feelings?

Without a word, she pressed her mouth into his, kissing him deeply, demandingly, too terrified with this sudden revelation. He really _did_ care, and she didn’t know what to do with that knowledge. Just half an hour ago she chose someone over him because she was so sure that he would never be able to return her feelings – and now, she saw those feelings in his smoldering eyes.

He let out a raspy throaty groan when she dug her fingers into his shoulder, pulsing and spasming all over him, her mouth still on his, and he let himself go, thrusting into her deeply until the wave of pleasure came crushing onto him, washing him away. This time, it was different, it was pure ecstasy, something unlike anything else he ever felt before.

He felt complete.

She was stroking his shoulders soothingly as she let him ride out his high, feeling him throbbing deep inside of her, and it felt different. It felt nothing like their first time together, and it felt nothing like all those times she’s been with other people. She couldn’t put a finger on it – but she just knew, she felt different, and that sensation alone was enough to erase all the worries and doubts, even for just as long as he was inside her.

Slowly, Lucas pulled out of her and lowered Kisa back onto the wooden decking, holding her tightly as her legs were shaking. They just stand there, panting, staring at one another as neither of them knew what to say.

“Well, I need a shower, again,” She joked half-heartedly, frowning immediately: it was supposed to be the moment they talk seriously, and she just ruined it.

“Is that an invitation?” Lucas cocked his eyebrow, letting a small but smug grin stretch across his lips.

She rolled her eyes and unwrapped herself from his arms. She couldn’t blame him for going straight back to being his usual arrogant and annoying self, not after she chickened out herself. This was her perfect opportunity to tell him how she felt but she decided not to use it and lid up her feelings once again.

“Not tonight, Satan,” She huffed, taking a step back and bumping into the wall behind her.

“Oh?” His eyes narrowed. “Are we role-playing now?”

Her body prickled with goosebumps at the tone of his voice, but she shrugged it off focusing on how much she was annoyed with him. She grabbed him by his stupid necklace and pulled him closer, almost bumping their foreheads against each other.

“You can bet on that, dollface.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	30. Dagger in the Heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...My body is made of boiling water  
> That keeps me from starting storms  
> Your body is made of ice inside  
> Gets hard just to see your heart..."
> 
> [Alone Made of Ice - MALDITO]

“Pull the trigger… got me tripping, super psycho love,” Bobby hummed quietly as he finished chopping avocados for the toasts.

It was still too early for others to be up, and for the first time in days, he enjoyed a quiet, drama-free morning. He looked around searching for the sea salt and spotted Lucas. The physiotherapist slowly walked out of the villa, yawning, and stretching as he made his way to the open kitchen.

“Morning,” Lucas blurted out sleepily.

“Morning, sunshine,” Bobby grinned and poured him some coffee. “Slept well?”

The older man only rolled his eyes taking the cup from his mate’s hands. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually had any sleep in this place… He actually did remember. It was the night before the disaster recoupling, the last night he spent in the same bed with Kisa. Somehow, she was the only person he ever felt comfortable sharing a bed with.

 _Don’t forget to mention the cuddling,_ a sniggering inner voice reminded, and Lucas frowned to himself, hiding his face in a coffee cup. Last night left him even more confused than before, and maybe for the first time in his life, he felt the need to talk to someone.

Bobby watched him for a few moments before climbing onto the barstool next to his mate. “Hey,” He put his hand on Lucas’ shoulder. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” The dark-haired man shrugged in a vain attempt to pretend he was fine.

“Yeah, that was convincing,” Bobby pulled the plate with toasts closer to them. “Eat. And talk.”

Lucas took a bite obediently and chewed slowly, gathering his thoughts. Bobby has become one of his closest friends, not just in the villa, but in general, and somehow, this silly baker always managed to make him feel slightly better. Ever since the Casa Amor shitstorm, they were almost inseparable, even now when Bobby could either hang out with him or his girlfriend.

After a pause, the physio looked at his friend. “We fucked last night, after the recoupling.”

He watched Bobby’s face change from concerned to confused and finally, shocked.

“After she picked him?” The baker reconfirmed.

“Yep,” Lucas took another bite before continuing. “I and Lottie were upstairs when she found us.”

“Oh?”

Lucas rolled his eyes. “We were just talking.”

“And then what?” Bobby took a sip of coffee out of Lucas’ cup, shuffling in his seat restlessly.

He knew: Kisa made a mistake choosing Kassam last night, he knew her feelings for Lucas weren’t just a fling, knew that she’s been struggling these past few days. But even he couldn’t imagine that she’ll pick the Dj just to then fuck someone else at the rooftop terrace. This wasn’t like her, and he was worried about this seemingly tough girl who was probably the most vulnerable person he’d ever met.

All those spikes and thorns, all the attitude – he could see right through it, he could see a scared, hurt girl hiding underneath the mask, and more than anything, he wanted to protect that girl.

Bobby’s mind drifted to the memories of the last night.

“I could get used to this,” Priya stroked a lock of hair out of his face as they lied in bed, catching their breath. “Rose petals, champagne, you…”

She smiled softly at him before pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Me too,” Bobby’s arm pulled her closer, caressing the silky-smooth skin of her back. “I don’t want to go back to the real world.”

“Yeah,” The girl nodded, frowning a little. “Me neither. I… I don’t want to go back to Manchester, alone.”

She said those words in a quiet, timid voice, grazing her bottom lip between her teeth, and Bobby’s heart jumped up to his throat. He couldn’t believe that he heard her right, couldn’t let himself get his hopes high, not just yet.

“I… I could go with you,” He said in a suddenly raspy voice. “If you… you know, don’t mind having a slobby roommate like myself.”

He saw the moment her eyes lit up and pulled the girl into a kiss, pressing her body tightly to his, sharing the heartbeat and the air with the love of his life.

“I guess I’ll have to teach you how to be a good roommate,” She grinned, resting her head on Bobby’s chest, drawing patterns on his arm. “You know, me and Kisa kind of spoke about how it’s gonna be when we’re out of here.”

“Yeah?”

“Long-distance friendships are hard, you know? Me and you can move in together, but… You can’t really move in with your friend.”

Bobby nodded slowly. He and Lucas had a similar chat, and both of them felt weird discussing the ways they could stay in touch and visit one another, and it ended up with them planning to go on a vacation together.

“Oxford is just like a three-hour drive from Manchester, isn’t it?” He asked, stroking Priya’s hair.

“But it’s not the same as having your best friend sleeping in the bed three feet from you.”

The baker nodded again, chewing on his lip before continuing: “She slept with Lucas.”

“She did what?” Priya set up, covering herself with the sheet.

“Lucas just told me before the recoupling,” Bobby propped himself on his elbows. “She’s made a mistake by choosing Kassam. He’s a great guy, and she seems happier around him, but she’s just trying to drown out her feeling for Lucas, and it’s unfair to all three of them.”

Priya nodded, running her fingers through her dark-burgundy curls. With Kassam, Kisa was smiling, all the time. She was soft and warm, and she let her guards down. Whenever Priya saw them together, they were holding hands or somehow touching each other, and they were always laughing and giggling, like two careless kids.

And whenever the green-eyed girl was anywhere around Lucas it was an earthquake, a tsunami, something completely out of control. Something raw. Real. Something to fight for.

“What do you know?” She asked finally, and he told her everything.

He told her about all those times his mate was ready to lose it because of this stubborn girl, about all the secret glances and late-night chats. He told her about all those mornings he found Kisa alone and confused, and too scared to follow her heart and trust the man she clearly had feelings for.

“You think he loves her?” Priya frowned when Bobby finished his little speech. “Like, actually loves her?”

Bobby shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts and focusing his attention back on Lucas. The older man was lost in his own world, and Bobby watched him for a few moments trying to see him the way Kisa did.

Lucas was one of those guys who’d rather jump off the cliff than admit his feelings for a woman considering it a weakness - but in reality, simply scared of getting hurt. Lucas’ smug grin and tepid attitude was just a mask, a way to protect himself – like Bobby’s jokes or Kisa’s bitchiness. The only problem was the physio’s stubbornness and unwillingness to let people see past that mask.

Finally, Bobby took a deep breath as if preparing for a dive and cleared his throat, catching his mate’s attention. “You should tell her.”

Lucas blinked at him and shook his head. “Tell her what, exactly?”

“You know what,” Bobby rolled his eyes irritably. “You like her, she likes you, that should be enough for a start.”

“Is it though?” The older man rested his chin in his hand.

The baker knew Lucas had a point. With Kisa, it was never enough to just be open, getting to know her was like peeling an onion, layer by layer, through tears and bitterness.

“She cheated on someone, with you,” Bobby leaned closer to Lucas. “It’s not like her, not at all.”

“Well, it’s her when she’s around _me_.”

Lucas’ words hung heavily in the air. This was the first time he admitted out loud how toxic their relationship was, how wrong for each other they were. He saw her around Kassam, she was so different with the Dj. She was smiling, and laughing, and breathing easily – but with _him_ , everything was too heavy, too intense, too anguishing.

This battle for control turned into something dark, something that was ruining both of them from within, and he wasn’t sure there was anything left to save. They were never truly together, they barely knew each other, they barely ever even spoke, always too caught up in the feelings and the desperate need to drown those feeling down.

They were just too wrong for each other, that was so obvious, there was no doubt they will destroy one another, it was just a matter of time. _So, why bother?_

“So what?” Bobby said firmly. “Just because you _think_ it won’t work you won’t even try? Seems cowardly.”

“Maybe,” Lucas shrugged, pushing his empty cup aside. “But it is what it is.”

“You love her, don’t you?”

Bobby mentally kicked himself twice the moment he let those words escape his mouth. He knew Lucas would never admit of feeling something like that, he knew the older man wasn’t ready to even let himself think about that possibility – and yet, he went there. He just wished his mate happiness and felt the need to shove that happiness down his throat if needed, even if Lucas ended up hating him for that.

“I was…” Bobby never finished his sentence as he spotted Kisa strolling out of the Villa. She was still wearing her black satin pajama and looked like she barely had any sleep.

“Coffee?” She stomped into the kitchen bleary-eyed.

“Your manners suck in the morning,” Bobby grinned and poured some coffee into a cup and added milk.

She took the cup eagerly and made a few large sips. “Thanks, Bobby. You guys are up early,” She avoided looking at Lucas. “How’s the Hideaway?” Her lips curled into a half-smile. “Finally spilled it out?”

Lucas looked up from the table: he completely forgot that Bobby spent the night in the Hideaway, with Priya. A sniggering voice inside his head reminded him that he’s been a crappy friend to Bobby these past few days.

“Yeah,” Bobby’s cheeks flushed red. “Finally told her.”

Kisa pulled the baker into a hug, and Lucas outstretched his arm to shake Bobby’s hand while he was still hugging the girl.

“That whispering thing was creepy as hell,” Lucas smirked. “When’s the wedding then?”

Bobby rolled his eyes, but his mouth was stretched in a beam. “You two will know first,” He gave Kisa a studying look, poured the rest of the coffee into a cup, and grabbed one of the toasts. “I’ll leave you guys for now.”

Kisa watched Bobby as he rushed back inside with Priya’s breakfast and then slowly dragged her gaze to Lucas. He looked absolutely exhausted as if he hadn’t slept in days. The dark circles under his eyes looked so alien on his face, so out of character, she just kept staring at him without even realizing that he was staring back at her the entire time.

Last night was a huge, unforgivable mistake. She slept with him, again, and the worst part? She’d do that again, no matter how awful she felt afterward when she had to share a bed with Kassam. She could still remember his soft hands caressing her skin – and all she could think of was Lucas’ fingers wrapped around her wrists and his dark-brown eyes burned into hers as he trusted into her, trying to merge together, melt into her.

She could barely stand looking in Kassam’s eyes, her heart was bursting out of her chest with guilt and pain, and the need to protect her Dj from herself. She fucked everything up, she hurt the only person who would’ve never hurt her, and now, she was supposed to somehow live with that. She was supposed to look into those blue eyes and somehow not to fall apart, and she wasn’t sure she was capable of that.

Never in her life, she hurt anyone willingly. Never in her life, she lost control like that. Never in her life, she was a monster that she’d become because of _him_. He ruined her, and she gladly let him.

With _him_ , she was the worst possible version of herself, terrified and toxic, and unable to control herself. Her jealousy took the best out of her last night, it pushed her to do something she hated herself for, and she was never jealous in her life. He brought up the darkest side of her, and it consumed her.

She’s been trying so hard to be the girl Kassam remembered – and _he_ took this girl away from her. Now, she was this monster, and there was no way back. She let him do this to her, this was her own fault, and she hated herself for it. She hated herself for falling for the man who ruined her.

Lucas watched Kisa as she just stayed there, staring right through him, consumed with her thoughts. Now, she looked different from the day they met. Something has changed, broken inside of her. She was barely even present anymore, barely talking to anyone outside her little circle. No flirting with Gary, no bickering with Lottie, no small talk with Shannon, no spiteful glances at Noah – nothing. As if she didn’t exist.

He knew it was his fault. Time after time, she kept asking him to leave her alone – and time after time, he kept pulling her closer and closer, without even realizing what and why he’s been doing until it was too late to stop. He knew that whatever this thing between them was it should’ve stopped – but he couldn’t stop it, not even if he wanted to.

Whatever this was, he was addicted to it. Addicted to her. Addicted to the way she lost control whenever he was around. The way she fought him so hard just to give in. The way his body went ablaze from her touch. The way he was willing to give control over to her. The way the world disappeared whenever she was around.

He was addicted to this darkness no matter how wrong it was.

Slowly, he got to his feet and walked over the counter to stop just behind the dark-haired girl. His fingers ran up her arm making her skin prickle with goosebumps, and Kisa looked up at him snapping out of her trance.

“What are you doing?” She asked brokenly.

“This,” He leaned closer and pushed her hair aside. His lips traveled lazily across her shoulder, leaving a trail of kisses on her suddenly hot skin, and moved up her neck. With a soft sigh, she tilted her head to her shoulder unconsciously giving him better access. His mouth on her skin brought her almost physical pain that she couldn’t explain.

She wasn’t able to resist him anymore.

Deliberately, his fingers moved up her arm, making the little hairs bristle. Her sudden submission made the blood in his veins run faster, this feeling of being in control of _her_ was intoxicating, he was drinking it as the most exquisite wine, sip by sip.

His hand snaked under her top caressing her stomach gently as his other hand came to rest on her hip. Kisa’s breath hitched when Lucas whispered into her ear: “Do you want me to stop?”

Her body refused to move when she tried to nod. She just stood there, paralyzed, unable to stop that torture. His long, slender fingers moved up to cup her breast, and a soft moan escaped her lips as his thumb brushed her nipple teasingly.

Lucas’ mouth moved down her neck as his other hand slid inside her pajama pants and his fingers found their way between her folds. A sudden heat ran through his body when he felt how wet she was for him, and a low groan vibrated in the back of his throat. There, in the bright sunlight, in the open kitchen, his fingers found their way inside of her, making both of them gasp.

Whatever this feeling was, he didn’t want it to stop, he’d died if it stopped.

Her face was hot with arousal and embarrassment, her body on fire from his touch. Any moment now someone was bound to find them, they both knew it. Her back arched involuntarily as she pressed herself into the man behind her, drawing a throaty growl out of him. His hand moved faster, and she bit down on her lip not to moan.

She was in hell, and she wanted this to last forever. Her eyes fell shut as the waves of pleasure spread throughout her body carrying her away.

He said she could tell him to stop – but it was a lie. She was never able to stop, right from the start, she was a goner. Her walls started pulsing around his fingers, and Lucas moved his other hand to grab Kisa’s chin making her look him in the eye. He needed to know she belonged to him, needed to see the evidence of her feelings for him. And there it was: her wild eyes burned into his as her quivering body was screaming for him.

Her hand flew up grabbing his shoulder, and her nails dug roughly in his skin leaving bloody half-moons as she came undone.

She pushed him away the moment her body stopped trembling, but he caught her in his arms, pulling the girl closer.

“I’m not letting you run away this time,” He whispered before closing the space between them with a deep, hurtful kiss.

Her mind was yelling at her to leave, to hit him so hard he couldn't breathe and just run, but her body decided differently, and she found herself pressing harder against his chest while her arms coiled his neck, pulling Lucas even closer, both of them lost for the world.

“… and introduce them to my…” Gary’s voice made them break apart, panting. “Nan,” The crane operator finished quietly dragging his gaze from Kisa to Kassam who was standing next to him. Kassam’s face turned into an expression mask as he stood there frozen to a spot, paralyzed with pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	31. Heart of Stone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...In another life, I would be your girl  
> We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world  
> In another life, I would make you stay  
> So I don't have to say you were the one that got away..."
> 
> [The One That Got Away - Brielle Von Hugel]

Kisa stood there in silence, staring at Kassam’s back as he walked away without saying a word. She couldn’t tell how much time had passed but it seemed like an eternity. The eternity of pain and agony and this unstoppable desire to scream.

She knew that this was bound to happen at some point, Kassam was bound to find out – but she never meant him to find out like _that_. He wasn’t meant to see her kissing someone else, his heart wasn’t meant to get shuttered into ten thousand pieces because of her inability to admit her feelings and go through with it.

He wasn’t supposed to end up in little ashes because of her.

She shook herself into action, moving to leave the kitchen when Lucas caught her hand. “Leave him,” He said firmly but there was a glimmer of uncertainty in his eyes. “I need to talk to you.”

Kisa stared at him blankly.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” She said finally. “Let go of me.”

Her voice was cold and sharp like steel, and Lucas unwrapped his fingers from her wrist. She sent him an empty glance and walked away, trying to calm her racing heart. She didn’t know what she was going to say but she had to find her Dj and say something. Try to apologize. Tell him how fucking sorry she was… None of that made any sense.

She knew what he wanted her to say, and that was the only thing she was unable to tell him.

Slowly, she walked down the corridor and pushed the Beach Hut door open, hoping he’d be there. Kassam was sitting in the chair in front of now black screen, his face hidden in the palms of his hands. His lean frame now seemed so fragile, Kisa wanted to wrap him in her arms and protect him from the entire world. Except that she was something that he needed protection from.

He looked up expressionlessly as the girl stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

She didn’t know how to start this conversation. “I’m sorry” wasn’t even close to how she felt, and it was barely going to fix the mess that she created. Kisa walked up closer to the man and kneeled before him, brushing his arms with her fingertips gently.

“Can we talk?” She asked quietly, and her voice broke a little. “Please.”

The man shrugged but kept quiet, and Kisa took it as a ‘yes’.

“I’m so sorry, Kas,” She whispered as the burning hot tears prickled her large green eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

He finally focused his eyes on her and gave her a look that made her heart sink in her chest: there was so much hurt and confusion, so much love it was painful to look into his piercing blue eyes. He’s fallen for her fast and hard, and now, he was in agony because of her betrayal, because of her, and Kisa could barely stand seeing him like that. Broken.

She had to make herself to keep her eyes on him all the time even though everything inside of her was fighting against it, trying to convince her to look away and spare herself from all the quilt and pain of knowing that it was her who broke this beautiful soul.

“Why?” He asked finally, his voice raspy and trembling.

She had no answer to that.

She was damaged and now, she damaged him, too. The only person she trusted in such a long time, the only one she knew would never hurt her, the one she should’ve kept in her life and now lost forever.

She didn’t know why she couldn’t make those feelings for Lucas stop, she didn’t know why she couldn’t just walk away and never look back. She didn’t know why she got so caught up into that game they’ve been playing that she pulled Kassam into it. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just be happy with someone who only wanted her, someone who saw her the way no one else did – the way she wanted to be seen.

She didn’t know why she felt the need to ruin everything.

“Because I’m a fucking idiot,” She said finally. “And I will always be sorry for it. If I could, I would’ve …”

“You would’ve what?” He asked bitterly pressing his back against the chair. “Unkissed him? Unfelt whatever you’re feeling for him?”

Their eyes met, and a hot wave of embarrassment went through her body: she did more than just kissed Lucas. She knew she had to tell him before someone else did before he saw it when they’re out of the villa, but the words just got stuck in her throat and wouldn’t come out. She tried speaking but her body just went rigid, refusing to let a single sound leave her mouth.

“That’s what I thought,” The Dj shook his head slightly. “I can’t do this right now, I’m sorry. Let’s just… I don’t know. I just can’t.”

He got up to his feet and left the room, lingering in the doorway for a second as if he wanted to look back at her but didn’t let himself. When he left, Kisa crawled closer to the chair and grabbed one of the pillows, holding onto it as she lay down on the floor and shut her eyes close.

There were no tears, her eyes stayed painfully dry. That moment of shock that caught her in the kitchen had passed, and now, she wasn’t even able to cry. Her body just went numb, incapable of feelings, so she was just lying there, motionlessly, her eyes closed, and arms wrapped around the pillow.

Maybe, in another life, she and Kassam would’ve worked. Maybe, instead of disappearing from his life for ten years, she would’ve stayed. Maybe, they would’ve fallen in love. Maybe, he would’ve learned a new song to play, and they would’ve sung together, and even started a band. Maybe, they would’ve moved to Oxford – or stayed in Dubai.

In another life, she wouldn’t have broken his heart just because hers was shuttered a long time ago.

The door to the Beach Hut opened and closed again, and two warm, soft arms pulled Kisa into an embrace as Priya lay down next to her, pressing the younger girl’s back into her chest. Finally, the dam burst and Kisa felt hot streams of tears running down her face, getting lost in the heavy curls of her hair.

Her body shuddered with sobs when she caught Priya’s hand and intertwined their fingers, searching for comfort that she did not deserve. She didn’t deserve any sympathy, not after what she’d done, not after she ripped Kassam’s heart out of his chest and let it bleed out. She didn’t deserve anything but pain and hate, for all that she’d done.

“Shh,” Priya whispered into the back of Kisa’s head. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

She brought their hands to her face and kissed Kisa’s knuckles gently, stroking her thumb over the back of Kisa’s hand while her other arm was holding the younger girl tightly.

When she and Bobby finally left the Hideaway most of the islanders were already in the kitchen where Gary was filling everyone in on the latest gossip: he and Kassam walked in onto Kisa kissing Lucas. Bobby immediately went to find the physiotherapist, and she went back inside and stumbled into Kassam as he made his way through the corridor.

His face was drained of color and looked like a mask, and for the first time Priya had no idea what to say – so she just let him pass her by without even noticing her. The girl slowly made her way to the Beach Hut as something inside of her was telling her that Kisa was there as if there was a bond between them that let her _feel_ the younger girl’s pain as if it guided Priya to her.

When she saw her friend curled on the floor, her heart sunk inside the ribcage. She’s never seen Kisa like that, and it made it even worse. Always so confident, so strong, this girl was falling apart before her eyes, and Priya didn’t know what to say or do to comfort her, to make her believe that in the end, everything will be fine, that she’ll get through it.

She was holding the green-eyed girl in her arms, feeling the shudders that were going through Kisa’s body, and her heart was aching for her friend.

Maybe, she should’ve asked Bobby to go check on Kisa instead of Lucas? Her baker seemed to always know what to say or do to comfort anyone, including this stubborn, almost unapproachable girl. Only with Bobby Kisa let her guards down, just a little, and allowed herself to open up, only of so much.

Once, she admitted that Bobby reminded her of her best friend a lot, and that made her trust him and carry about the baker the way she cared only for Seth, and Priya wished her personal starfish was now there. _He’d know what to do_ , just a mere thought of her boyfriend filled her heart with warmth.

She loved that man so much, she barely recognized herself. Being with Bobby changed her, changed how she acted, and how she thought – and how she felt. He not only changed himself to be better for her – he made her better, too. Loving him made her better, and she wished loving Lucas would’ve made Kisa better, too.

_But instead, it left her crying on the floor._

Priya had no more doubts that her best friend loved that guy, she broke Kassam’s heart for that love. _If only he wasn’t such a prick and told her about his feelings…_

They’ve heard some noises followed by the loud voices coming from outside the villa, and both girls sat up. They couldn’t hear the words but whoever was speaking – that person was fuming. Kisa brushed the tears off her reddened face and looked at the older girl.

“I’m sorry,” She ran her hand through her hair trying to tame the wild curls. “I just…”

“No,” Priya said sternly. “Don’t you even start. I’m here for you, whether you like it or not. And I’m not going anywhere, so don’t bother.”

Kisa’s lips let out a small sigh of relief mixed with gratitude. She needed her friend, now more than ever, even if she never admits it. The noise outside became louder, now it was a choir of voices talking all at once, and the girls exchanged worried glances.

“I-I should check what’s going on,” The younger girl said, grazing her bottom lip between her teeth, and Priya nodded.

“Let’s go then.”

They left the Beach Hut and crossed the corridor, rushing towards the sounds of what seemed to be an almost fight.

“Guys, please,” Bobby was standing between Lucas and Kassam, his arms outstretched. “Let’s not say anything we’ll regret later.”

Everyone gathered around three guys, Gary and Noah were standing closer than the others, ready to intervene if the heat will turn up. Chelsea, Shannon, and Lottie huddled close to each other, unsure how to react, and were just watching the drama as it finally kicked off.

Kisa’s eyes fell on the blonde witch who was quieter and calmer these past few days, with Hope and Marisol gone, she lost any will to fight. The dark-haired girl shook it off and pushed herself past the girls.

“What’s going on here?” She stood before the three men, her face still swollen and eyes red from tears, and for a moment, they all just stopped, staring at her.

None of them ever saw her crying, and somehow, this grimace of pain managed to stop the fight for that long moment that each of them spent taking in the sight of her. Kisa crossed her arms over her chest as if trying to protect herself from the stares, and repeated her question, more sternly now.

“Well? Anyone cares to explain?”

Lucas snapped out of it first, and his mouth stretched into a morbid smirk when he dragged his gaze back to Kassam.

“So, you just left her crying?”

The Dj’s lips twitched in disgust. “Oh, right, go ahead, comfort her now,” He spat out the words. “Go ahead, you have no problem kissing someone else’s partner.”

“Kissing?” Lucas barked with laughter, and Bobby’s heart stopped in his chest.

“Lucas…”

Bobby said warningly but the physiotherapist continued with a spiteful look on his face: “She didn’t tell you? She fucked me, twice, on her goodwill.”

His words hang heavily in the air, the silence was so deafening it almost vibrated with tension. All eyes were suddenly on Kisa, and she felt so small and fragile, her body was ready to give out when she met Kassam’s empty stare. He looked like all the air has been kicked out of his body, and now he was hollow.

She didn’t know what to say or do, she couldn’t even be mad with Lucas: he only told the truth. She did it to herself, she was the only one to blame, she ruined everything.

“Is that true?” He asked, taking a step closer to Kisa, his eyes burned into her.

Everything inside of him was begging for her to say no. To tell him the other man was lying, that she would’ve never done this to him, that she was sorry and wanted to try again…

“Yes,” Her quiet voice sounded like a scream in his head, crumbling down any hope that he still held.

This one simple word, three letters, just ruined him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Priya stepped forward, pressing her finger into Lucas’ chest. “Why would you do this, in front of everyone?”

“Priya…” Kisa tried to calm the older girl down but Priya just waved her hand dismissively.

“No, he’s been acting like a complete dick, this entire time, and I’m now done with it.”

Kassam let out a tired sigh and shook his head. “I can’t do this anymore,” He turned to the physio and gave him a dead stare. “You think you won, don’t you? You made her into something she doesn’t want to be and must feel so proud of yourself. You ruin everything you touch, and you’ve been doing this to her… Just look at her,” He nodded at Kisa. “You did this to her, and I just hope she realizes it sooner or later – and when she does, she’ll leave you for dead, just like she left me. And then, you’ll know how badly you fucked up.”

With that, he turned on his heels and walked back into the Villa.

No one knew what to say or where to look. No one knew if they were supposed to try and comfort Kisa, or go after the Dj, or try to talk to Lucas whose face was impossible to read when he took a step towards the green-eyed girl.

Kisa’s phone beeped, and she looked down at the screen, surprised that she was still holding it. Her face lost any color left when she read the text.

“What is it?” Bobby stepped closer to her, but she just turned away and walked back into the villa without a word.

If she stayed there, if she let herself talk to anyone, she would’ve lost it completely, and she had no right for that. One of the producers, Kathleen, caught her as she walked into the bedroom and gave her arm a comforting squeeze. She was new and wasn’t half as annoying as everyone else on the production team, and they became some sort of mates.

“He’s in the Beach Hut,” Kathleen said quietly. “He stumbled into me on his way to the dressing room and I had to send him there when he told me… But I thought you should know it immediately.”

“Thank you,” Kisa squeezed the other girl’s hand.

“I hope you’ll be fine,” Kathleen offered her an empathetic smile before leaving.

Kisa sat down on one of the beds, hiding her face in her hands. She couldn’t believe this was happening, couldn’t believe everyone knew now what she’d done… Couldn’t believe she lost Kas forever. And she couldn’t believe a part of her felt almost relieved now, that there were no more secrets between them… when they broke up. She hated herself for feeling that way, for not trying hard enough to make it work with her Dj, for never feeling for him the way he felt for her…

She didn’t know how much time had passed before Kassam walked into the bedroom, dragging his suitcase behind.

He stopped dead when he saw Kisa.

“You’re leaving,” She stated, slowly getting to her feet. “Were you even to tell me?”

He shrugged and kicked the suitcase closer to the drawer at the foot of their bed. “You didn’t have to come here just because you’re feeling guilty.”

“That’s not why I’m here.”

“No?” He chuckled darkly, throwing his pajama pants into the suitcase. “Why then?”

“Because I needed to make sure you’re okay.”

He laughed bitterly. “I’m not okay, Kisa. I don’t know anyone who would’ve been okay after learning that they’ve been cheated on by the person they…” He made himself stop, and Kisa felt her heart getting ripped out of her chest.

“You can’t just leave,” She said quietly. “Please, stay.”

“Why? To watch you and him cracking on? I think I’m good.”

Kassam threw the rest of his stuff into the suitcase and zipped it close. He turned to face her and took a step closer, burning his eyes into hers.

“I wish you were brave enough to admit your feeling for him before you’ve played with my,” he said almost softly, stroking a lock of hair out of the girl’s face. “I guess, I’ve got only myself to blame. I knew there was something between you and him, but I still let myself fall for you,” he said the last words so casually as if talking about groceries.

“I didn’t…”

He pressed his finger to her lips. “Don’t say anything, please, enough of words. I just wish this thing between you and him will work, and you'll be happy. Be happy, Kisa.”

He leaned closer to press a kiss to her forehead, stilling for a moment as he tried gathering his courage to leave. When he pulls away, he’ll lose her forever, and there will be no going back.

She wanted to hug him so badly, her arms ached with this need to wrap around him – but she knew if she did, she wouldn’t be able to let go, so she just stayed motionless, absorbing this feeling of his warm lips on her skin until he finally moved away.

“Goodbye, ya helo,” He whispered brokenly before picking his suitcase and walking out of the room without looking back.

She didn’t follow him.

What was the point of watching him walk away, so broken and sad, and ruined by her? She knew what she’d done to him, and now she only had to live with that.

She could hear the loud voices as the islanders told their goodbyes and walked Kassam out of the villa, overwhelming him with all the hugs and promises to stay in touch that she knew he didn’t need. The only person he wanted he couldn’t have, nothing else really mattered at the moment.

When Kassam left, Bobby pulled sobbing Priya into a hug stroking her hair gently.

“I can’t believe that it all came down to this,” She whispered into his neck. “What are we supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know,” Bobby said simply, palming his girl’s face. “But we’ll figure it out, together,” he pressed the gentlest kiss to her lips, feeling her body relax slowly against his. “I love you.”

Her smile was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, it lit up her entire face, washing the sadness out of her brown eyes.

“I love you too, baker,” She whispered back.

“Whatever’s going to happen next, we’ll find a way to deal with it,” Bobby promised. “No matter what, I promise.”

Priya looked up at him pressing her hand against his chest to feel his heartbeat.

“You melt,” She said adoringly, and the baker laughed.

“I’ve melted you, too.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Maybe,” She admitted before kissing him again. “Just a bit.”

Before they could say anything else, Bobby’s phone beeped with a text.

“What now?” Priya frowned immediately.

“We’re having a challenge… and surprise guests tonight,” Bobby read the message and looked back at his girlfriend. “C’mon, we should find everyone else. It’s gonna be a very long day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	32. Fire and Silk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many hugs and thank yous to Suchi who was of huge help, as always 💋

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucas' dance: Demons - Jacob Lee (philosophical sessions)  
> Kisa's dance: Desire - Meg Myers

“I guess he’s going last, and he’s using a vanity stool?” Priya leaned forward to whisper into Kisa’s ear as they both watched a guy who put a pastel pink velvet stool a few feet from the firepit. “How are you?”

The younger girl just shook her head, unable to make even a somewhat coherent sentence. The entire day was a mess, starting with the morning fight and Kassam’s exit and finishing with the heart rate challenge now. Kisa’s eyes wandered to the band just aside from the firepit, and her thoughts immediately went back home, to her boys.

How much she would’ve given to magically teleport Seth, Ilya, and Kith into the Villa, how much she would’ve given to never apply for this ridiculous show… She couldn’t care any less about her bet with Alex, she didn’t need that money, she just wanted to get out of the Villa and forget it like a nightmare.

It was torture, to sit there and watch all these men try so hard to impress their... Against her will, the girl’s lips curled into a tiny smile at the thought of Bobby’s performance for Priya, and Priya only. The baker had come a long way, and she couldn’t help the warmth spreading in her chest when she saw her two friends so happy, together.

She didn’t know where she stood with Lucas. He blew the whistle on their hook-ups, in front of everyone – why? He never seemed the one to share details of his private life, when Bobby asked that question about the new boys’ numbers, Lucas gave him such a look… And suddenly, he didn’t mind telling everyone that he fucked her?

_She fucked me._

That’s how he said it. Why would he say it like that? Why not just be his usual smug self?

The band started playing again, and her heart almost stopped inside of the girl’s chest when she realized that there was no escaping now. Lucas was the last to perform, and she didn’t have a single doubt that the producers have told him to make it as dramatic as possible.

The band’s vocalist slowly moved closer to the mic stand, and she fought herself to keep her eyes open. The melody was too slow for dance, too drawn out, too agonizingly full of feelings… _her_ feelings. She listened to that song on her way back from their first date, after she ran away from the man she just met because she knew: he was going to break her. And that was exactly what he did, he just ruined her.

 _“…My heart is weak_ _  
Tear it down piece by piece  
Leave me to think  
Deep in my structure, I think I still love her…”_

Lucas slowly made his way down the stairs keeping his eyes focused on flames in the firepit until he was standing just across it from the girls. Lazily, he ran his fingers down his neck and caught the end of his skinny-tie, undoing it slowly. He dragged his gaze from one girl to another until he finally stopped on Kisa who sat at the very end of the bench and locked their eyes.

A thrill of electricity went through her body when his dark-brown eyes burned into hers, pinning her to the seat. Even if she tried, she wouldn’t be able to run, her whole body froze under the intense stare turning into a mess she had no control over. It seemed as if her blood turned into liquid fire running through her veins painfully, burning her from within.

 _“…But I need some sleep_ _  
You've taken my breath away, now I want to breathe  
Cause I cannot see, what you can see, so easily…”_

He let the tie hang freely on both sides and moved slowly across the decking. His movements were almost calculated, perfected, polished. He moved like a wild cat, dangerous and bewitching, but something in his eyes didn’t match the posture. Something so raw and uncut, and exposed, and it captivated her, it wouldn’t let her look away for even a second.

The closer he got, the tenser her body became, turning into a taut wire. The singer’s voice dropped lower making her skin prickle with goosebumps, and it took all of her willpower not to shiver.

 _“…I thought my demons, were almost defeated_ _  
But you took their side, & you pulled them to freedom  
I kept your secrets & I thought that you would do the same…”_

Finally, he reached the bench and outstretched his arm, still keeping their eye contact. Kisa’s heart jumped into her throat from his closeness, and she swallowed hard through the lump in her throat. She accepted his hand, and he helped her to her feet. Lucas walked the girl to the velvet vanity stool and pushed her down onto it. She didn’t even try to defy him, she was too spellbound, too under his control, too powerless to even think clear.

He’s barely done anything, but her pulse was racing, she could feel it everywhere, all over her body, and she was sure: because of her, the girls have lost the challenge already. He moved behind her back and leaned over her, taking a hold of both of her hands. She tried focusing on her breath, but she knew: he could feel her pulse when his fingers wrapped around her wrists and brought them behind her back.

 _“…Leave me in peace_ _  
Caught in my memories, lost underneath  
Deep in my structure, I feel a rupture…”_

He held both of her hands with one of his and lazily dragged his tie down his torso before draping it around Kisa’s wrists. She felt the touch of cold silk on her skin, and her mind went into overdrive. She never let him control her like that, she was never _willing_ to let him control her the way he did now. Utterly and undoubtedly, she handed herself over to this man, and it was terrifyingly thrilling.

His hands moved slowly up her naked arm, and her body arched into his touch. She was seated with her back to the fire pit and couldn’t see the other girls’ faces – and they couldn’t see her feverishly glazed eyes and burning cheeks when Lucas’ fingers brushed across her collarbone and slid under the strap of her dress.

Somehow, none of the producers didn’t have a problem with Lucas not dancing, as if they just decided to let him do whatever because they wanted her to suffer. If he wasn’t so close, if she couldn’t feel the heat emanating from his body, she would’ve still had a chance to resist. But his hot fingers left burning trails on her soft skin, and his voice when he whispered into her ear made something inside of her shudder.

“They all are watching,” his law, raspy whisper made the little hairs on her arms bristle, and she looked up for a second to see the other boys gathered upstairs, watching. “They all want to _see_ you.”

 _“…from where she should be_ _  
You've taken my breath from me, now I want to breathe  
Cause I cannot see, what you can see, so easily…”_

The song became so intense, the singer’s voice broke slightly, and it went straight into her. His words, his lips on her neck, his hands now tracing up the sides of her legs – everything was too much for her to keep fighting. She lost already, she knew, and finally, she let herself admit it.

She lost this fight the moment she took the rose Lucas brought her on their first date, and one of the thorns pricked her skin. If she was able, she would’ve laughed at this metaphor of their relationship.

Lucas’ hands moved slowly to her thighs, fingertips brushing just at the edge of the hem of her short red silk dress. His hot mouth moved down her neck leaving a trail of blazing kisses on her skin, and wherever he touched her, he left an invisible mark, a sign that she belonged to him. The bruise from his bite on her arm has healed but she never forgot it was there, she couldn’t forget it even if she wanted to.

Whatever it was that he was doing to her, she couldn’t stop it… and she never _wanted_ it to stop, no matter what she’s been telling herself, now she knew it.

_“I thought my demons, were almost defeated  
But you took their side, and you pulled them to freedom  
They know my secrets and won't let me go, won't let me go…”_

The song was dying out slowly, and she felt Lucas’ hands moving up her sides and across her shoulders and then down her arms until they reached her tied wrists and took a hold of the restrains. He leaned closer into her, until his chest was pressed into her back, and pulled on the ends of the tie, straining her arms, even more, drawing a barely audible moan out of the girl before him

He could do to her as he wanted, and at that moment, they both knew it.

Lucas put his lips to her ear, and his breath burned the sensitive skin as he whispered: “They all want you, but you’re mine.”

With a flick of his wrist, he untied her and got up from his knees. Her face was burning when Kisa finally managed to pull herself up from her seat and face the other girls. She avoided looking anyone in the eye, too scared of what they could read in hers.

“Well, I guess it’s our turn now,” Lottie said slowly, sending Lucas an approving grin. “Let’s go, ladies, the bar is pretty high, we should go all out.”

Lucas smirked back at the blonde and plopped on her spot on the bench waving Bobby and other guys over, and for the first time, Kisa realized how close he and the baker got. She knew they were mates but didn’t expect this uptight and reserved man to let someone intrude his personal space the way Bobby just did, throwing his arm over Lucas’ shoulders and whispering something to him.

She remembered all those times Bobby told her to stop running from her feelings – and all the times her psychopathic physio let the baker walk him away to calm down and talk, and somehow, it was enough to make up her mind for good.

Without hesitation, she walked up to the band, ignoring surprised glances from the girls: they were all asked to choose a song long before the challenge started. She knew she wanted him forever, and she knew she’s been fighting this desire for too long, and it was time to just give in. Finally show him she was willing to go down that road, even if it’ll leave her in ruins.

Priya caught up with Kisa and wounded her arm around the younger girl’s waist as they all walked back into the Villa, leaving the boys by the firepit. The older girl didn’t say a word, just planted a soft kiss to the side of Kisa’s head, and they followed Lottie upstairs to get changed and fix their makeup.

She wanted to tell the resident witch that she appreciated the way she handled Lucas’ performance, but the words got stuck in Kisa’s mouth: admitting her feelings to herself wasn’t the same as admitting them to someone she barely started tolerating. She grabbed the plastic bag with her outfit and her makeup bag and hid herself in the bathroom, unable to be around people anymore. Her phone beeped: she was going last.

What was his plan? What did he want to make her feel? Did he just want to show that she was under his control? Just wanted to make sure she knew she wasn’t in charge anymore? That she couldn’t resist him?

She met the stare of her now emerald-green eyes in the reflection. Heavy smoky-eye makeup made them look almost alien, it seemed as if they took the entire space on her face, contrasting with the pale skin brightly. She looked herself up and down, adjusting the layers of sheer black organza straps of her skirt and top that were meant to come off one by one.

Finally, she left the bathroom and went downstairs, escorted by Kathleen.

“You look great,” the younger girl smiled. “And the band is totally up for what you’ve asked… and I talked the others into approving it.”

Kisa smiled at her weakly and nodded, unsure she wanted to do it anymore.

“Lottie’s up next, you can watch from here,” Kathleen walked her outside and brought closer to the stairs between the levels. “When she’s done, just go there, they’ll play the into for as long as needed.”

The dark-haired girl nodded again feeling her stomach tying into a knot. She tried focusing on Lottie’s surprisingly good dance, but her heart kept thumping out of her chest and her ears were filled with buzz, and her throat went sore and dry when she spotted Lucas in the middle of the bench, grinning from ear to ear as Lottie ground on him slowly.

_Why couldn’t he just pick her?_

He was getting along with the blonde witch, and they looked decent together… why couldn’t he just say he liked Lottie on his first day in the Villa and save Kisa from this mess?

The first heavy guitar riffs filled the air snaping Kisa out of her thoughts, and she cocked her head walking slowly down the stairs. The layers of her skirt were trailing behind her, and she almost laughed at the thought of how weird her belly dance costume mixed with the music. She let her hips get caught in the beat for a moment as she walked to the podium.

She grabbed the mic stand and moved it closer to the burning flames, now, boys could see every movement of her lips, every flatter of her long night-black eyelashes.

For a second, she closed her eyes and then snapped them open as the first words left her mouth.

 _“…Baby, I'll learn to touch you_ _  
I wanna breathe into your well  
See, I gotta hunt you  
I gotta bring you to my hell…”_

Her body moved gradually as she sang the first lines, her voice trembling. Her gaze traveled from one man to another until it finally stopped on Bobby’s slightly blushing face. The baker gave her an encouraging smile, and the knot in her stomach loosened just a little. One of her hands still lay on the mic while the other moved down her long graceful neck, dragging her fingertips over the skin.

She got caught in the moment, finally feeling like herself under the burning stares of people around her. If there was anything she was good at, it was this, c _aptivating_ the crowd. She moved her hand further down her body, between her breasts and further down the small uncovered area of her stomach. 

Her fingers found one of the loose straps and pulled it down slowly, revealing more of her skin. With every movement of her long, aristocratic fingers, she stripped more and more of her, exposing herself in the ways she never expected to be able to open up to anyone. The way she was willing to open up to the dark-haired man whose eyes were burning holes in her body… She’s never done this for anyone, she was willing to strip down to her bones if that was what he wanted.

 _”…Baby, I wanna fuck you,_ _  
I wanna feel you in my bones  
Boy, I'm gonna love you  
I’m gonna tear into your soul…”_

She let go of the microphone and now both of her hands were traveling up and down her body until her fingers got caught in her long, curled hair, and her head lolled back slightly. She could feel _his_ eyes on her body, and she knew that at that moment, _she_ was the only thing in the world that he could see.

She was willing to do this, to jump without a parachute. She was willing to crush her bones again, for good this time, for a long chance of him catching her the last moment.

Kisa’s eyes snapped open and she looked him in the eyes, and her hands finally finished with the top that now was just a lace bralette.

 _“…Honey, I wanna break you_ _  
I wanna throw you to the hounds,  
I gotta hurt you, I gotta hear it from your mouth…”_

Her voice dropped lower, almost breaking when her eyes finally met Lucas’ hungry stare. His body was ablaze the entire time, from the second he saw her walking down the stairs. The entire world shrunk to the size of the firepit, all other sounds and scents disappeared, there was only the sound of her perfectly imperfect voice and the smell of her perfume that he could catch when she moved her body roughly to the guitar riffs.

Her hands snaked down her hips and pulled on the straps of organza, removing them one by one, freeing her body from their soft embrace.

The way she moved was making his heart thump out of his chest and his hands ball into fists as he restrained himself from crossing the space between them, sweeping her off her feet and carrying her as far away as possible, somewhere they will be alone, just the two of them.

He needed to be alone with her, more than anything. Now, when her DJ was gone, nothing was standing between them… just his inability to voice his fucking feelings. He wished his performance told her more than his mouth could, but he knew: he had to say those words out loud. He had to tell her how he felt, and it was terrifying. Just the thought of having that kind of feeling for someone was terrifying, and his insides flipped and turned and twisted in protest.

What if it doesn’t work? What if they’re making the gravest mistake of their lives? What if he fucks everything up?

 _“…Boy, I wanna taste you, I wanna skin you with my tongue_ _  
I'm gonna kill you,  
I’m gonna lay you in the ground…”_

She saw how hard he swallowed, and he almost let a low growl escape his mouth when she weaved her leg around the mic stand lowering it and herself looking at him with her heavy-lidded eyes. Her body moved frantically to the heavy, almost hysterical guitar riffs driving him insane with every perfect curve, every inch of silky-smooth alabaster skin, every bounce of her heavy curls – everything about her was turning him from inside out.

It wasn’t just the raw desire he felt for her from the moment he saw her. Whatever this feeling was, it made him into a different man, a man willing to let go of control. A man who’s willing to stand on his knees if _she_ wants him to... if she _orders_ him to.

 _“…Desire, I'm hungry_  
I _hope you feed me  
How do you want me…”_

Finally, her hands removed all the layers off the bottom of her two-piece, turning a long skirt into high-waisted bikini bottoms with two long organza straps falling down the sides of her legs.

For the last time, her voice broke slightly, and Kisa’s eyes found his again as she wrapped her fingers around the mic and almost whispered into it, her lips brushing against the microphone.

_“…How do you want me?..”_

The music died out, and for a second, the world went silent. Lucas felt Bobby’s hand nudging him on the thigh and got up to his feet slowly. As he walked up to her, his fingers unbuttoned his shirt, and he took it off and wrapped it around Kisa, leaning forward.

“Anyhow,” he whispered digging his fingers into her skin as he helped her slid her arms into sleeves.

He opened his mouth to continue when Noah’s phone beeped loudly.

“Girls, over here! A text! Islanders, please, in your teams, take seats over the fire pit and get ready to welcome two very special guests.”

“So, it’s true?” all the girls joined Kisa on the left side of the bench. “We’re getting new people?”

Lottie couldn’t hide her excitement, and no one could blame her: she was stuck in friendship couples since the beginning. Kisa bit on her bottom lip and managed a weak half-smile addressed to the blonde girl.

“Looks like it. Maybe they’ll bring someone in just for you.”

Priya’s eyebrows flew up but she said nothing and just nodded in agreement.

“I wouldn’t mind,” the witch admitted.

“Neither would I,” Chelsea chimed in from the end of the bend. “It’s been a bit weird with Noah, you know…”

“I’m fine,” Shannon said with a small, private smile.

Priya wrapped an arm around Kisa’s shoulders and pulled her closer until the younger girl’s head was resting on her shoulder. “You were amazing, by the way,” she said quietly. “How you’re feeling now?”

“Relieved,” Kisa whispered back. “Is it weird?”

“No,” the older girl squeezed her tighter. “But one thing for sure: he’s besotted with you.”

Before they could continue, the band started playing again, and everyone’s eyes darted towards the stairs. Kisa’s heart dropped when a gorgeous tall blonde woman strolled straight to Lucas and straddled him, pressing her knees to the bench on both sides of him. She barely registered the new guy who helped Lottie to her feet and was now trying dancing tango with her.

Her eyes were glued to Lucas’ hands that were resting on the blonde’s hips, and that moment felt like forever. Finally, the music stopped, and everyone rushed to the new people.

“Hey,” Priya nodded towards the crowd. “You should go and say hi, so she doesn’t think you’re intimidated by her.”

It was excruciatingly painful, to feel jealousy ripping her chest apart. She followed Priya and hugged the new guy back awkwardly, trying to remember if she greeted anyone else on the island with a hug – it felt strange but she’d do anything to postpone the moment she had to turn her head to the new girl.

“Amanda,” the blonde introduced herself. “So nice to meet you guys... and reconnect with some of you,” she gave Lucas a little wink.

“You know each other?” Gary shot Kisa an empathetic glance.

“You can say that,” Amanda smirked. “We had a lot of fun back in Uni. Right, _Luc_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> 🎵Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	33. The Horror of Our Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...There is love in your body but you can't get it out  
> It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth  
> Sticks to your tongue and shows on your face  
> That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste..."
> 
> [Hardest of Hearts - Florence + the Machine]

Her heart was pounding out of her chest when Kisa left the firepit after the new girl introduced herself.

The blonde girl stared at Kisa, too, and her mouth stretched into a grin when she stepped forward, outstretching her hand for a handshake that Kisa ignored after staring at the other girl’s weak hand for way too long.

“Oh, sure. Manners aren’t your thing, are they?” Amanda chuckled and tightened her grip of Lucas’ arm. “Don’t worry, hun, I’m not here for _you_.”

With those words, she sent Kisa a sly smile that made the dark-haired girl clench her teeth, so she didn’t give the blonde reaction she was looking for.

“Don’t worry, _hun_ , no one cares,” Kisa spat out turning on her heels.

There was no way she was doing it. If Lucas wanted that Fashion Nova girl, he could have her – she just couldn’t care anymore. It was all too much, and she felt a splitting headache that made her stop halfway through the stairway, pressing her fingers to her temples in a vain attempt to fight back the migraine.

“Kisa, wait,” Bobby’s voice almost made her jump.

He climbed up the stairs and pulled her hands back of her face, looking into the girl’s eyes worriedly. He studied her for a moment before gently tugging on her hand. “C’mon, I’ve got some painkillers.”

She let him walk her into the brightly lit bedroom, and her head almost exploded with pain. It took Bobby just a glance at her to grab Priya’s water bottle from the nightstand and continue their way, now, to the boys’ dressing room where he found his caddy.

“Take this,” he gave her two pills and handed Priya’s bottle. “It’ll get easier in a few.”

Kisa swallowed the medicine obediently, and Bobby beckoned her towards the stairs to the roof terrace. It was dimly lit with fairy lights and from there, they could barely hear others as the welcome party moved to the pool. For some time, they both kept quiet, watching Lottie, Shannon, Gary, and the new guy.

“Lottie seems happy with how the night went,” Kisa broke the silence finally. “What’s his name again?”

“Jamie? James?” Bobby drawled uncertainly. “Didn’t have much time to get to know the guy.”

He turned to Kisa with a distinctive “we need to talk” look on his face, and she rolled her eyes, noticing that the headache was almost gone. Before the baker could’ve said anything, she shook her head and waved her hand dismissively.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t tell me it’s all gonna be fine and I’ve got nothing to worry about. Don’t tell me that she has nothing on me, and he doesn’t care about her. Don’t act like I don’t deserve all of this after what I’ve done to Kas, because I do.”

He stared at her in shocked silence, noticing something in her eyes that he never saw there before: remorse. Before, when she tried ignoring Lucas and would spend all the time with Kassam, she didn’t have that look of guilt written all over her face even though she felt it. But now, it seemed that for the first time, she regretted everything that had happened, and this quilt has been eating her alive.

A loud laugh echoed through the lawn as the new guy picked Lottie effortlessly up and sprinted around the pool, risking falling into it with each step. The corners of Bobby’s mouth curled into a small smile as he watched the blonde witch, finally getting the attention she deserved. He kept watching them for a few seconds before speaking again, thinking his words over carefully.

“You did fuck up,” he said slowly. “Nothing can change that. But you owned up to that, and the only thing you can do now is to move on.”

Kisa looked at him and her lips curled into a sardonic grin.

“I should’ve told him myself, right after the first time it happened. I shouldn’t have picked him at the last recoupling just to fuck someone else ten minutes later. I knew he liked me from the moment he stepped into the Villa, and I knew he wanted something serious, he wanted _me_ , you know. And I just ruined everything for something that isn’t even there. So yeah, I doubt I can move on from that.”

Her shoulders slumped forward as the girl hid her face in her hands, breathing heavily. What was the point of staying on that doomed island if she will never get what she wished for? What was the point of fighting if she already lost?

She felt Bobby’s arms wrapping around her shoulders, and a moment later he pulled her into a hug, letting her bury her face in his chest. She couldn’t remember the last time she let someone else than Seth see her like that, so broken and vulnerable. Her body went limp in the baker’s arms, and she just let herself stay like that, pushing back any thoughts.

As his hand was stroking Kisa’s back gently, he let his eyes wander across the lawn, spotting Lucas and Amanda as they were slowly climbing the stairs to the upper level, still focused on their conversation. Bobby watched them wishing for Lucas to look up and see Kisa… and rush upstairs and hold her in his arms and finally tell her how he felt about her,

Bobby smiled sadly: he knew how much of a hopeless romantic he was, and how all of that wasn’t even close to being Lucas. The only way the physio was able to communicate his feelings was creeping on Kisa and trying to push her into admitting her feelings first – and that wasn’t happening, not with Amanda in the picture, that Bobby knew for sure. Kisa stripped her soul just now. Bringing Lucas’ ex at the exact moment was a sucker punch, and the baker wished whoever decided to cast that discounted Barbie doll to hit the bricks.

Slowly, Kisa pulled slightly away, rubbing her eyes.

“Sorry,” her voice sounded raspy and broken. “I didn’t mean…”

“Shut up,” Bobby shook his head. “Don’t say anything ridiculous, like “I didn’t mean to get all emotional because I think I’m a bloody robot.”

Her green eyes sparkled momentarily as the girl chuckled. “So rude.”

“I’ve learned from the best,” he sent her a wink and continued. “Do you want me to bring Gia here?”

Kisa thought for a moment but shook her head: she didn’t feel like playing – or singing, for that matter. Not after tonight. She poured all of herself into that fucking song, she didn’t just strip off clothes, she let him see inside of her, and she couldn’t bring herself to think about it anymore.

Her eyes wandered down to the lawn: he wasn’t there, and neither was Amanda. Her heart jumped to her throat almost making her choke, and a sticky, disgusting feeling spread through her chest.

“Hey, are you alright?” Bobby saw the moment her face went red. “Do you need some water?”

She grabbed his shoulder as the baker started shifting and shook her head.

“You sure?”

She didn’t need water, she just needed this feeling to stop. She needed this buzzing in her ears to go away, and her stomach to stop tightening into painful knots, and her chest stop aching. She needed to be normal again, just a girl who knows that love doesn’t exist in her world and feels nothing. A girl whose body doesn’t twist and turn at just thought of someone who destroyed everything in her, someone who let her ruin herself.

“What is it?” Bobby asked softly, looking into the girl’s eyes. “You can talk to me, you know that.”

She grazed her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to find the strength not to tell Bobby everything she felt at that moment.

“I can’t,” she breathed out finally. “I’m sorry, Bobby, I know you care about me and trying to help… but I just can’t. This isn’t me. This,” she pointed vaguely to herself. “None of this is me.”

Kisa got to her feet and looked down at Bobby, her brows knitted together. “I’m sorry.”

She left him alone at the roof terrace, unable to keep talking, and went to the dressing room to change before everyone else got upstairs. Before _Amanda_ showed up upstairs. She wiped off her makeup, silently cursing herself for ever thinking that she had a chance to make that thing between her and Lucas to work.

The door flew open, and Lottie burst into the dressing room.

“Oh,” she stopped in her tracks when she saw the older girl. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

The witch flopped on the vanity stool next to Kisa and grabbed a pack of makeup wipes.

“Great performance, by the way,” the blonde girl caught Kisa’s glance in the mirror. “I will follow your band’s Spotify page when we’re out of here, I have a feeling I’m gonna love your songs.”

Taken aback, Kisa cleared her throat. “T-thank you.”

Lottie nodded and got back to what she was doing while the older girl went behind the screen to get changed. When Kisa stepped from behind the screen, Lottie took a breath and looked up at the other girl, biting her lip nervously.

“Hey,” she frowned a little. “Can we talk?”

Kisa nodded cautiously sliding on a seat next to the blonde.

“It’s about Lucas,” Lottie chewed on her lip. “I know, me and you aren’t friends, but I wanted to let you know – with this new bitch and all – he’s really into you, and you only. Whatever he might be telling you or even himself.”

With that, the witch grabbed her caddy and a towel and left the dressing room leaving Kisa alone. She managed to follow the blonde into the bathroom, grabbing her toothbrush on the way.

Lottie was already in the shower stall, and Kisa let out a small sigh of relief: she didn’t even know what she was going to say if she had a chance. They weren’t friends and won’t ever be, but whatever made Lottie said what she just said… Kisa didn’t know how to react to that.

 _I don’t fucking care,_ she stared in the mirror above the sink.

Whether Lucas liked her or not, he wasn’t right for her. With him, she turned into this jealous, cheating psycho with anger issues, and she didn’t want to be that. She couldn’t be the girl Kassam saw in her, but she didn’t want to be _this,_ either.

She brushed her teeth and went into the bedroom to grab a pillow and her comforter: she didn’t feel like staying in her and Kas’ bed after her left.

Kisa made her way downstairs, bumping into islanders and catching all the pitiful looks possible. In the kitchen, she stumbled into Priya and watch her friend stuffing her face with marshmallows before coughing loudly.

“Oh, it’s you,” the older girl turned to her abruptly. “You scared the hell out of me.”

She put the pack with marshmallows back into the pantry and walked up to Kisa. “Are you okay? You’re sleeping outside?”

“Yeah,” Kisa nodded. “Maybe, without Lottie’s snoring, I’ll get some rest, finally.”

Kisa squeezed Priya’s shoulder gently before walking away, drugging the duvet behind, grateful that the older girl didn’t try to make her speak - she wouldn’t be able to bear another mention of Lucas.

She climbed into one of the daybeds and buried herself in the comforter, making sure to tuck it under her body to protect herself from blood-thirsty insects waiting for the lights to go down and eat her alive… She chuckled at her thoughts. Thinking about mosquitos was less traumatizing than thinking about the physio, so she continued imagining hordes of mosquitos flying into the villa and biting that Amanda bitch right in her fat ass.

Her lips curled into a satisfied grin as she started drifting away, barely noticing the moment the daybed’s mattress sagged slightly under someone’s weight. She snapped her eyes open when she felt someone’s light touch on her cheek.

“The hell you’re doing here?” her eyes burned into Lucas.

“I’m sleeping here tonight,” he said simply, and she felt a heatwave of anger going through her body.

“No, you’re not.”

Kisa sat up straight, crossing her arms over her chest. Just a look of him in his deep-burgundy sating pajama pants was enough to send her into a fit of rage. Taking deep, ragged breaths, she nodded towards the Villa.

“You’ve got a partner to sleep with… Or whatever.”

She mentally kicked herself off the roof terrace twice and grabbed her pillow, wrapping her arms around it. The last thing she needed was another row, even less so another pointless fight with this man. She had nothing new to tell him, she was who she was, and she wasn’t going to change just because he wanted her to…

_He already changed you._

She brushed her thoughts aside and stared down, wishing for him to leave. She was too tired to continue this non-stopping battle, she was ready to concede her defeat, just to be able to finally move forward, to finally stop playing this game. That time they were together on the rooftop, part of her just stopped fighting. She just couldn’t do it anymore, couldn’t keep clinging to whatever semblance of control that she still held.

She was too tired, too broken to keep doing this to herself – so she stopped. And for a short moment, he stopped, too. And she let herself think that maybe, there was a chance for them. That maybe, for her, he’ll grow up and stop running from real feelings. But she was wrong. He was just the same, a guy who openly told her that he liked her enough to wreck her entire world but not enough to want a life together with her.

Kisa had to bite her lip to snap herself from her thoughts. She looked up and saw Lucas’ frowning face. He was deep in thought and barely noticed she was staring, so she just kept silent, waiting for him to speak whatever it was on his mind and, hopefully, then leave her alone.

He couldn’t answer even to himself, why it was so hard for him to talk to her. He remembered that evening in the kitchen after the dumping when she talked to him as if they were mates. Back then, he already knew that if she got dumped, he’d left right after her – just couldn’t admit it even to himself. And now, she was finally single… again. And he knew, this was his last chance.

When he saw Amanda, he barely recognized the girl he used to hook up with back at the University. _One of the many girls, to be ‘pacific’,_ he reminded himself. He never thought of her up until now, and never thought there might’ve been anything more between them, not back then, not now. But seeing Kisa’s reaction… Somehow, it felt good.

It felt good to know her feelings were strong enough for her to be jealous of him. And a small part of him enjoyed knowing that she got a taste of her own medicine, after all these days he’d spent watching her with the DJ, it was nice to have tables turned… For a few seconds. When she speed-walked from the firepit, he felt empty and disgusted with himself.

She was hurt, and a part of him enjoyed it, and it was sick. He was sick. And he made her sick, too.

Lucas finally managed to shrug his thoughts off and focus his eyes on the girl before him. She was watching him quietly, and she looked so tired, _exhausted_ even, that his only reaction was to wrap her into his arms and hold her until they mold into each other. He had to physically restrain himself from moving, instead, he took a deep breath and spoke quietly, as if scared to be heard.

“You are the one I should be sleeping with.”

His words hung between them, and Kisa’s brows arched in surprise: whatever she was expecting him to say, wasn’t this. She fidgeted slightly and went quiet, listening to the sounds of sleepy Villa. The voices coming through the open windows finally went down, and now, the only sounds were the chirping of cicadas and the soft rustle of the leaves that were covering the wooden panel above the daybeds.

“Why?” she asked simply.

He opened his mouth, but the words just stuck in his throat.

Lucas cleared his throat and started again but in vain, he just couldn’t say it. Not even once in his life, he said those words to anyone, and now, they just wouldn’t slip off his tongue. His insides turned into melted lava, burning the man from within, but he just couldn’t.

She saw the way his face changed, and for the first time, he looked sincere. He was trying so hard to hide the emotions pouring through his skin and glistering in his eyes, but she could still see the fear and the desperate need to fight it. Her heart started speeding, and Kisa pressed the pillow closer to her chest trying to muffle the sound of her heartbeat, scared that he might somehow hear it.

 _No, this isn’t it,_ she tried to calm herself down. _This isn’t what you think it is. It can’t be it._

He wished he was able to say it, wished he was strong, brave enough to let her know the way she made him feel…

“You can stay,” she said quietly, and he stared at her, not quite believing that he heard her right.

“You sure?”

She shifted, lifting the blanket slightly, and patted the space next to her.

“No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	34. Paint It, Black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...I'm sick of awaiting your vacancy  
> I hope that you choke on your vacant teeth  
> No space in your broken veins left for me  
> I know that you're empty, I know that you're empty..."
> 
> [Vacant - Echos]

It was barely sunrise when the sound of someone’s quiet conversation woke Kisa up. Without opening her eyes, she stretched out feeling an empty space beside her. Slowly, the memories of the previous day returned to her, making the girl snap out of the morning haze.

The sun wasn’t completely up yet, and the world was drowning in the grey of the dawn. She sat up on the daybed, rubbing her eyes, and listened to the voices coming from the open kitchen. From where she was, the girl couldn’t see people in the kitchen, but she didn’t need to, that voice she would’ve recognized anywhere, anytime.

“… Professor Dunne,” Lucas said with a note of smile in his voice. “I’ve met him a year or so ago, hadn’t changed even a bit.”

“I know,” a girl’s voice chuckled softly. “Still creeping on freshmen.”

They both shared a laugh, and Kisa felt her face turning into a grimace. Whatever that feeling she saw in the man’s face last night – it wasn’t real, and she was just an idiot since she let herself believe that he might want _her_. That he might care.

She leaned against the pillow and closed her eyes, listening in to the conversation that seemed to be going on forever as they talked about everything, their classes, their careers, favorite places in Oxford, and how funny it was that they met again almost five years later. They kept talking, and she wondered if all her conversations with Lucas combined were still shorter than this interaction between him and the girl who was determined to take him from her.

Kisa grabbed her pillow and covered her head with it, cutting out their voices, unable to stand that torture anymore.

Her body went numb as she tried to zone out, to pretend she was somewhere else, just not to think about the couple in the kitchen. She wished she was back in Oxford, in her apartment with her boys, playing guitar and singing as Ilya mixes drinks for them and Seth and Kith are playing cards. She wished she was back in time when she was never on Love Island when she never met _him_.

It felt as if her life was cut in two, before him and after, and just the thought of it made her physically sick. How she could’ve been so reckless to let someone have such an effect on her? How could she let a stranger take over her life?

She didn’t even like him…

She hated his gelled hair and the douchelord necklace, hated his smug, condescending grin and his fucking Hermes trucks, hated the way self-assured he cocked his head and how he always needed to have the last word. She hated everything about him, and she hated that it wasn’t enough to stop…

She couldn’t even say these words in her head. If she does, there won’t be a way back, she’d be done for. She couldn’t feel anything for someone whose heart was a void, an empty, dark abyss that was staring back at her whenever she tried looking inside of him.

Slowly, she drifted away, falling into broken sleep full of blurred whirlwinds of colors.

“Kisa,” Priya’s voice cut through the morning air, pulling the green-eyes girl out of sleep.

“Hey,” Kisa set up on the daybed, trying to ignore pounding in her head. “Morning.”

The older girl evaluated her friend with a deep, piercing look, sighed, and flopped next to her, wrapping her arm around Kisa’s shoulders comfortingly. She knew Bobby spoke to Kisa last night without much success, and she knew Lucas spent the night outside – but when she woke up, he was in the kitchen with Amanda, deep in a conversation, looking pleased with himself.

When he noticed Priya, his face changed ever so slightly but he managed to wish her good morning in the usual tone of voice, and it almost pushed her to slap the guy on his smug face. Her friend was going through hell because of her feelings for him, and he was just casually chatting to someone else in the empty kitchen, at eight in the morning.

“Can I talk to you?” Priya’s sharp stare and cold voice sent little goosebumps over Lucas’ arms.

“We were talking,” Amanda raised an eyebrow at her, and Priya felt the need to wipe the floor with her bleached hair.

“I couldn’t care less,” the older girl stretched her lips into a smile.

“It’s okay,” Lucas slid off the barstool. “Lead the way.”

Priya walked him to the pool, far enough from the blonde bitch, and stopped next to the fence, staring into the Spanish hills for a moment before turning to the guy.

“What the fuck?” she put her hands on her hips, stepping closer to Lucas.

“Would you elaborate, please?” he raised an eyebrow, and for the first time, Priya knew exactly how Kisa must’ve felt every time he was being a prick – meaning all the time.

“What the _actual_ fuck?” she hissed. “Why are you dallying with this rando?”

He stared back at her in disbelief. They weren’t remotely close even though she was Bobby’s girlfriend – partly, because she was Kisa’s best friend, partly. After all, he found it hard to be mates with women, but the fact of the matter was that she wasn’t allowed to talk to him in that tone of voice.

“I don’t think you…”

“No,” she pointed her long perfectly manicured nail at him. “I don’t think you realize how fucking lucky _you_ are that Kisa even looked your way. And I don’t know what kind of childhood trauma turned you into a jerk you are – or if it’s all-natural, and frankly, I don’t care. What I know, is that she is the best fucking thing in your pathetic life of a twenty-seven-year-old who’s still fucking around and is too scared to grow the fuck up.”

The girl caught her breath and moved closer as she spotted Gary and Shannon strolling out of the Villa. Now, her finger propped against the man’s chest, and she narrowed her eyes before continuing.

“So, here’s the deal. You don’t fuck her over anymore and get your head out of your ass – or, you stay the hell away from her. I’m not Bobby, I won’t have a problem slapping the shit out of you if you ever hurt her again.”

With that, she turned on her heels and left him, hoping that he wouldn’t mess up again. She remembered urging Kisa to take a chance on him, but she wasn’t so sure anymore. How much pain this love worth?

“What’s up?” Kisa’s voice snapped the older girl out of her thoughts. “Is everything okay?”

Priya nodded softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Kisa’s temple. “Yeah, all is good. I think we should harass Bobby into making us breakfast.”

She jumped off the bed and extended her arm.

“Come on, time to get up and get ready.”

Kisa rolled her eyes and followed the other girl back inside, feeling every sore muscle in her body. They found Bobby in the boys’ dressing room, and Kisa left him and Priya alone. Seeing her friends together always made her chest fill with warmth and happiness for them, and she couldn’t help but adore the baker for how much he changed, how much he grew, for his Indian princess.

She smiled at the mirror and stepped into the shower stall, praying for the hot water to ease the pain. When he woke up at the dawn, she felt perfectly fine, but that hour she napped in solitude seemed to wreck her, and she wasn’t ready to think about it. Wasn’t ready to admit that without him, she felt so broken and sick, that her body physically craved his closeness.

The hot streams of water were running down her body washing away any remnants of sleep, leaving bright-red burning spots on her soft alabaster skin, but it was still not enough for her to forget how miserable she was. She turned the tap all the way to the right, hoping to lose herself under unbearably hot streams, and pressed her forehead against the shower wall.

If only there was a possibility to press rewind and tell Alex to fuck off when he offered her that stupid bet. She didn’t need his money, didn’t want anything from him, she just wished her stupid competitive side never took the best out of her that February night.

She turned the tap off and wrapped herself into a large bath towel before stepping out of the shower, followed by clouds of steam, and almost bumped into Lucas who was just standing there.

“There’s another shower stall, in case you never noticed,” she rolled her eyes and walked past him to brush her teeth.

“I’m well aware of that, thank you,” he retorted, and it took all her self-control not to snap at him.

She just nodded and started brushing her teeth, avoiding catching his stare in the mirror. Last night, when he just lay on the bed next to her, his arm wrapped around her waist, a small part of her believed that she wasn’t deadly wrong letting him get close, again. That part was bathing in the warmth of his body, in the sensation of his light breath on the back of her neck, in this sudden feeling of safety that she felt being next to him.

And then, it was all gone, and the jealousy was back, and it made her skin crawl.

With a sigh, Lucas crossed the space between them and stopped just behind Kisa, letting his arms snake around her waist almost gently. She froze for a moment before pushing his hands away.

“Let go of me,” she hissed, wriggling in his grip.

“No,” he said calmly, clenching his hands on her waist as she turned to face him. “Not until you hear me out.”

“Since when you’re suddenly able to speak?” she cocked her eyebrow staring straight into his dark eyes. “I mean, with _me_ ,” she added bitterly, remembering his endless morning conversation with the new girl.

Fighting with him, fighting _him,_ was exhausting, _just like_ … She stopped herself and tilted her head to her side, studying his face, trying to look at the man as if she never saw him before. Maybe, if she didn’t know his other side, the side that kept pulling her closer against all her fears and doubts, against any common sense and the survival instinct itself.

She wasn’t even sure that side existed, that she hadn’t just imagined it…

“Why are you mad with me now?”

He could feel the anger emanating from her body, and it was such a bright contrast with how she was last night, how content she was wrapped in his arms, how soft her body felt… And now, her muscles stiffened, and her green eyes turned into two ice-cold lakes.

“Now?” she repeated with a dark chuckle. “This implies there are times when I feel differently about you, and it’s hardly the case.”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, cocking her eyebrow – a gesture she knew was mad annoying on its own, and tilted her head up, looking him in the eyes with a look of distaste imprinted on her face.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she continued. “Just because I _fucked you_ , doesn’t mean I feel anything.”

She threw his words back at him, and somehow, it ripped through his skin like a dozen sharp knives, making him stagger back, losing his hold of the girl. He stared back at her, spotting the new look in her eyes, something he never saw there before, something he couldn’t find a name for.

She looked at him, and he just knew: if he doesn’t do something, if he fails to make her believe him, he will lose her.

He opened his mouth, unsure what he was going to say when Lucas’ phone beeped.

_Saved by the bell._

He reached for her phone and looked down at the screen.

“They want to see me at the Beach Hut, now.”

“Well, I dare not stop you,” Kisa turned her back to him and grabbed a moisturizer from her caddy, considering their conversation finished.

Lucas leaned into her and brushed her hair out of his way to whisper into the girl’s ear: “We’re not finished.”

He left, and she almost threw a heavy jar into the mirror.

In the kitchen, Bobby and Priya were the only people left, and Kisa sighed with relief joining them at the counter.

“Hey,” the baker gave her a broad smile. “I hope you’re hungry, I’ve made pancakes.”

He put the plate with a stack of pancakes before Kisa, and she raised an eyebrow. “Are you expecting me to eat all of them?” she did a quick count. “All ten of them?”

Bobby rolled his eyes in the mocked offense.

“Try first,” he pushed a bottle of maple syrup towards her.

“It pains me to say it, but he’s right, I ate four,” Priya snapped her fingers. “Bobby, coffee.”

He smirked. “I like it when you’re ordering me around.”

“I didn’t hear that,” Kisa pressed hands to her ears, laughing. “But, seriously, Bobby, move it, I want a latte, extra hot, extra foam.”

She watched the Scot as he busied himself with the coffee machine and then let her gaze drift across the lawn, spotting Lottie, Gary, Shannon, and the new guy on the beanbags. Lottie’s legs were resting on the new boy’s thighs, and both of them seemed very pleased.

“We’ve been watching them before you joined us,” Priya moved closer to her. “Lottie looks like a different person, look at her, she’s actually smiling and not bitching about… literally, everything.”

“I wouldn’t say it in these words,” Bobby stood behind the girls’ backs. “But I agree. It’s a good thing they’ve brought Jamie here.”

“Jamie?” Priya half-turned to her boyfriend. “I thought it was James.”

“I literally have no idea,” the baker returned to the coffee machine. “I missed it last night, and it was too awkward to ask in the morning.”

They carried on with the conversation, and Kisa tuned out, relaxing in the presence of her friends. It was barely ten in the morning, but the summer heat was already barely tolerable, and she felt the need to hide inside and stretch herself over the AC and stay there until evening comes. The sounds of splashes of water in the pool, the monotonous humming of voices, and one of the producers yelling at someone made Kisa doze off for a long moment, almost dropping her face down into pancakes.

“She’s so tired,” Priya whispered to Bobby. “Have you talked to him?”

The baker shook his head. “Not really.”

“This is just getting ridiculous. Look at that creep,” she nodded towards Noah who headed towards the gym with Gary. “Even he’s having a good time here… Though I still can’t believe he didn’t get dumped yet.”

Bobby snaked his arm around Priya’s waist and pulled the girl closer, closing the space between them with a soft kiss, and she relaxed immediately in his half-embrace.

“I just want her to be as happy as I am,” she rubbed her nose against his cheek, and Bobby’s stomach filled with butterflies.

“I know,” he brushed a curl of hair out of Priya’s face. “Why must they both be so stubborn?”

The girl chuckled and coaxed Bobby’s face closer.

“Good thing neither of us is,” she kissed him again, taking his breath away, trying to show him _how_ happy he made her, every moment.

“Geez, get a room,” Lucas’ voice made them pull apart and snapped Kisa out of her daze. “Isn’t this a bit excessive?”

He nodded at her plate, and Kisa’s cheeks flushed red with embarrassment,

“What, you’re some kind of food police now?” she shot back, pulling the plate closer and grabbing a fork and a knife.

Priya and Bobby glanced at each other and left them quietly, and Lucas slid on the barstool across the counter from Kisa. He watched her cutting pancakes into little pieces for a few moments before he reached his hand to put it onto her hand.

She froze under his touch, and he dropped his voice, looking her in the eyes as he spoke.

“You should’ve picked me at the recoupling, you know it.”

This wasn’t what he was going to say but saying the right words in the bright daylight was even harder than in almost complete darkness.

“It’s all in past now,” she just shrugged, unsure where he was going with that. “Now, you and Amanda can couple and carry on with your _lovely_ chats.”

His eyes widened.

“What? I don’t…”

A loud beep and Amanda’s loud yelp cut him short. “Guys, a text!”

“For fuck’s sake,” Lucas rolled his eyes. “What now?”

They joined everyone on the lawn, and Kisa immediately moved away from the physio, wrapping her arms around Bobby and Priya.

“Amanda and Johnny…”

“Jamie?” Priya raised an eyebrow at Bobby.

“James?” he countered, rolling his eyes.

Amanda shot them a look and continued: “Please chose two islanders each to go on a date with.”

_Of course._

The blonde looked at the guys, stopping her eyes at Bobby, and Kisa felt her stomach doing a backflip.

“If she dares…” the green-eyed girl caught the new girl’s gaze, and the blonde smirked.

“Lucas and… Noah.”

A wave of relief went through Priya’s body, and Kisa stepped aside, letting her hug her boyfriend, feeling relieved, too. She could deal with her own drama but didn’t want to see her friends caught into another scheme.

“I chose Lo and… Chelsea, since her partner will be on a date, too.”

Lucas turned to Kisa, his brows furrowed.

“It’s just a date,” he stepped closer. “As I was trying to say, I don’t…”

“Come on, Luc,” Amanda jostled through and stood between them. She turned to Kisa and added with a smile: “We will have so much fun, just like in old times.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	35. Every Me and Every You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kisa and Bobby are singing Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Chase Holfelder

“I’m happy for Lottie,” Shannon stretched out on the sun lounger and turned her head to Kisa. “Johnny seems to be really into her, and she said he fancies him, too.”

Bobby turned to the girls, swinging his legs in the pool. “Fancies? She deffo has a crush. Chels is gonna be a third wheel there.”

Kisa couldn’t help a little satisfied grin forming at the corners of her mouth: she still had this petty resentment towards the home decorator and couldn’t seem to shrug it off even now, when she wasn’t even remotely her problem.

She relaxed back against the lounger and put her large sunglasses on, hiding from the world. It’s been more than two hours since the new people and their dates left, and she had a good idea of what exactly Lucas and Amanda’s “old times” fun looked like.

But she didn’t care, not even a little.

In frustration, she lowered her feet on the decking, ripped the mic off herself, and without a word, dived into the pool, almost hitting the tiled floor wall. She was too tired and exhausted, and needed a second to herself, just a second of not being watched. Her mind threw a memory from many days ago, when she dived into the pool and Lucas jumped after her, thinking she was in danger.

She fought the resistance and dived deeper, hoping that no one gets a brilliant idea to drag her out of the pool this time, and sat on the pool bottom

She wrapped her arms around her calves and hid her face in knees, imagining herself somewhere far away from the Villa, somewhere she could just _be_ , without this constant need to pretend... She felt a gentle dab on the shoulder and opened her eyes. Bobby smiled at her knowingly and mimicked her pose.

Kisa slowly exhaled, watching the little bubbles of air as they swam up, getting lost in the sun rays playing on the water surface.

She knew Bobby must’ve been worried about her, that’s why he dived after her, but at least, he wasn’t yelling at her and dragging her out of the water. She huffed, releasing the rest of the air out of her lungs, and motioned Bobby to resurface.

“Uh,” the baker resurfaced next to her, breathing heavily. “Never thought I’d miss the air one day.”

She smiled at him and swam up to the coping.

“I used to be able to hold my breath for much longer,” she noted, leaning her head against the edge of the pool. “You know, in case of being water tortured.”

She couldn’t hold back a laugh when she saw Bobby’s face.

“I’m joking,” she cried, unable to stop laughing. “Oh, god, now I need to bribe one of the editors to give me the footage… your face, precious.”

“So funny,” Bobby rolled his eyes, nudging Kisa on the shoulder as he swam up to her. “Your sense of humor is lame in both feet sometimes.”

They both went quiet for a moment, and Bobby had a chance to study her face. Since the new girl took Lucas on a date, she’s been holding well, only her eyes betrayed her unfazed mask. He knew for a fact that the physio couldn’t care less about his ex-hookup, but he also was well aware of how Kisa’s head worked.

With a sigh, he pulled himself out of the water and put the mic back in its place.

“Where are you going?” Kisa sent him a curious glance.

“I’ll be right back.”

He stumbled into Priya and Gary in the kitchen where they were making some monstrous sandwiches and gave his girlfriend a quick kiss. She raised an eyebrow at him: “What are you up to?”

“Nothing,” he batted his eyelashes at her. “Why do you think I’m up to something?”

“Because you always are,” Gary grinned, filling Shannon’s water bottle.

“Well, in that case, you two will have to wait and see,” Bobby sent Priya a wink and moved towards the villa, a simple plan formed in his mind.

Whenever Kisa was sad, she sang. Whenever she felt happy, she sang. Whenever she needed to process her emotions, she sang. And now, she needed to let it out of her system… Bobby grabbed her guitar and went back downstairs, grabbing Priya’s water bottle from now empty kitchen on his way.

Kisa was sitting on the coping next to her friend, while Shannon was trying not to feel sick from Gary’s creation that he called a sandwich.

“Hey, look at Bobby,” the crane operator spotted the other guy and grinned. “I thought your Paisley Cuddle days were in the past?”

“They are,” the baker waved his hand dismissively. “But I once promised this one a jam-session, and now is the best time.”

Bobby put the guitar down on the sun lounger and outstretched his arm to help Kisa to her feet.

She knew what he was trying to do, and part of her wanted to go off on him, but she made that part shut up and don’t ruin something good that was happening to her. Someone wanted to do something good for her, and she needed to learn how to accept that.

Bobby and Gary moved the sun loungers so they were in a circle, and Bobby motioned to her to sit down as he took Gia and sat at the edge of the lounger. Kisa took a seat just aside from the baker, her heart fluttering with excitement. Singing with other people was always her favorite, she could feel their energies through the song, could build a connection, even for just as long as the song lasted.

Gary scooched closer to Shannon and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as both of them went quiet. Kisa glanced at Priya who stretched athwart to pool and rested her face on her hand, looking at her boyfriend adoringly.

Finally, Bobby’s hands came into actions and he slowly ran his long fingers across the guitar strings, evoking soft riffs. He cleared his throat and took a sip from Priya’s bottle and finally started playing.

_“She comes home in the morning light  
Her mother says when you gonna live your life right”_

Bobby’s voice broke slightly, and Kisa remembered how sad he went telling her about his damaged vocal strings, and how she never asked him how it happened. She watched the baker as he played her guitar and couldn’t stop thinking about that time Kassam just grabbed Gia and started playing… Back then, she was so… at peace. Being around the DJ made her so content, so comfortable and free of fear, so _better_.

How could she just ruin everything?

How could she just break Kassam’s heart so easily? How could she get so carried away with her ridiculous feelings for someone who doesn’t even care about her enough to not break _her_ heart? How could she just say one thing to her DJ and then go ahead and fuck him over so badly?

_“Oh, mother dear you're not the fortunate ones  
And girls they want to have fun”_

Kisa dragged her gaze off Bobby’s fingers on the strings of her guitar and slowly followed her eyes over the faces of people sitting in a small circle. With half the islanders on the dates, it was finally quiet and peaceful, and Gary and Shannon were the only two she preferred to be around. It seemed that the dumping after Casa worked out well for them, _who_ _would’ve thought?_

The couple was sitting close to each other, Gary’s arm wound around Shannon’s waist, and the girl’s head resting on his shoulder. Kisa lowered her gaze and smiled softly, feeling some strange kind of satisfaction, as if she was glad for them… as if she cared.

She frowned slightly at the thought as if surprised by her own ability to still feel anything and snapped her eyes up at Bobby, who smiled at her knowingly and nodded, waiting for her to join him for the next verse. Maybe, he hadn’t softened just Priya’s heart but hers, too? Or maybe, her poor heart was just so tired of the pain that it was just trying to find little crumbs of happiness wherever it could?

She took a quick, shallow breath, letting the word flow from her lips sharply, almost brokenly.

_“The phone rings in the middle of the night  
Her father yells what you gonna do with your life  
Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one  
But girls they want to have fun”_

She knew some critics hated the way she let her voice tremble and break, but it was her, it was the way she felt, and she wasn’t going to change it even, not until she stops feeling that way, not until her heart stops aching in her chest. Not until she feels that bloody happiness for herself, not for some other, lucky people who smile genuinely and wake up with excitement filling their bodies to the brim.

Her eyes slowly moved to Priya who was watching Bobby as if hypnotized, so mesmerized by the way his raspy, razor-sharp voice led everyone through the song, she barely noticed anything or anyone else. Her large brown eyes were fixed on the man with a guitar, and her body seemed to be trying to get closer to him as if pulled by a string.

Kisa watched her friend for a long moment, trying to imagine what it would be like, to feel something so deep for someone who feels the same…

 _“Some boys take a beautiful girl_ _  
And hide her away from the rest of the world”_

She joined Bobby for the next lines, feeling her eyes sting with unshed tears, and wiped them away as discreetly as possible, not willing to let anyone see how this old, silly song affected her. Bobby’s voice started breaking again, and she took over, hoping his throat won’t hurt too much after this little session – and wishing she’d asked what happened to him that he couldn’t sing even one song without hurting.

She wished she was a better friend for him, for Priya, wished she wasn’t so mean towards Lottie and indifferent to Shannon. She wished she never flirted with Noah and gave Gary a chance when he wanted one.

She wished to change so much about herself, but she couldn’t, and it was slowly turning and twisting her insides, bringing her more pain than she could bear. She wished she was different, wished _he_ was different, wished everything was just different…

But it wasn’t, and it’s been torturing her.

 _“She wants to be the one who walks in the sun_ _  
Oh, girls, they want to have fun”_

Maybe, in another life, she’ll finally find her peace.

Maybe, this time, she came to earth to fix whatever mistake she’s made in her past life, maybe all this pain wasn’t for nothing after all?

She had to shake her head to get read of these annoying bumblebees that her thoughts were. It was enough. Enough of overthinking, enough of trying to understand why she was where she was, enough of self-doubt and self-hatred. Enough of this wreck of a person that she let herself become.

She was never like that. Weak. Broken. Scared. Unsure of everything.

She couldn’t believe how much the past five weeks had changed her. There was just about a week until the finale, and if she didn’t want to end up in a psychiatric ward, she had to take a grip.

No more crying in Bobby’s arms, no more staring into space, no more thinking about all the things she wished to change. No more ‘maybe it’ll work’. No more… _him_.

Kisa leaned closer to Bobby, pulling on one of the strings to make the sound tremble in the air as she and the baker sang the final lines together, looking at each other and then turning to their small audience.

 _“That's all they really want_ _  
Some fun  
When the working day is done  
Oh, those girls just want to have fun…”_

When the last accords died out, they’ve heard applause coming from behind their backs.

“I can’t believe we’ve almost missed this!” Johnny didn’t look upset at all. With his arm around Lottie’s waist, he couldn’t look any more pleased with himself.

“I can’t believe you’ve never sung for us before,” the blonde freed herself from Johnny’s grip gently and flopped on the lounger next to Bobby giving him a quick hug. “It was great.”

She looked at Kisa, and her lips suddenly curled into a small, shy smile. “Both of you were amazing.”

“Indeed.”

She didn’t need to look up to recognize his voice, low and dripping with enticement. All her promises were forgotten the same moment, and her heart and stomach started doing somersaults as she finally let her eyes find his blazing stare.

She looked at him as a deer looks at anaconda, knowing its faith the same moment their eyes met; as a silly kid enchanted with the flute of Piper of Hamelin she was willing to follow him whenever he was willing to take her. Suddenly, her doubts didn’t matter anymore, nothing mattered anymore but the way his gaze softened as he kept staring at the girl.

She was playing with fire, but somehow, she knew she was going to survive.

A thrill of electricity ran through her body when he came into action, moving straight to her, almost jumping over the sun lounger on his way. She barely registered the eyes glued to her when Lucas outstretched his hand and she put her palm into his. He pulled her up, and her body felt almost weightless following his movement.

She stood before him, eyes wide, chest rising and falling heavily.

“Before I got interrupted… twice,” he said slowly. “I was going to say that I don’t care about anyone else here… or anywhere else.”

Before her mind could’ve had a chance to process his words, he crossed the space between them, kissing her in front of everyone, finally claiming her the way he needed. Finally showing everyone in that godforsaken place who he belonged to.


	36. Electricity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...So if you're looking  
> You will find me  
> Standing next to him kissing  
> Underneath the palm trees  
> Feigning for his sin..."
> 
> [Won't - Tanerélle]

The time stopped when his words finally reached her consciousness, and Kisa pulled back breaking the kiss. Her widened dark-green eyes burned into his chocolate, and Lucas felt a pang of guilt deep in his chest. This is what he’d done to her, this distrust and hurt, it was the result of his doubts and fear of admitting his damn feelings.

“What did you just say?” she fixed him with a stare.

“I said,” he raised his voice so everyone could hear. “I said that…”

It was just terrifying, to say it again, out loud, in front of this group of strangers that he’d known for about four weeks. His throat went sore and dry and his body numb. He knew there was panic in his eyes, that his face was burning from this sudden realization that there was no way back. That if he says these words out loud now, there will be no return.

After a few excruciatingly long moments, his eyes finally fell on the girl before him, and he was done for. He didn’t need a way out, he didn’t want to go back, he knew that all he wanted was right in front of him. Somehow, this escape from the rut he got stuck in turned into a wild rollercoaster of feelings, doubts, and denial… But it was all over now.

Now, he saw everything crystal clear, in her beautiful eyes that were now the color of Irish moss again, so full of pain and fear. She was terrified that she heard him right – and even more so that she only imagined him saying that. And knowing that she was just as conflicted as he was, gave him the courage he needed so desperately.

Again, he cocked his head and turned to the others spotting all sorts of reactions. Bobby gave him a small smile of approval, and Lucas grinned back taking a deep breath and wrapping his arm around Kisa’s shoulders, both protectively and territorially.

Finally, he looked down at the girl and said firmly: “You’re the only one I want, here or anywhere else.”

His words broke the silence around them, followed by Priya’s loud squeal and multiple hands separating him from Kisa to pat his back and hug him.

“Finally,” Lottie high-fived him with a smirk while Bobby hung on his neck unceremoniously.

The witch turned to Amanda with a wicked grin playing on her lips. “Geez, hun, you must really suck if just one date with you was enough for him to run away screaming his loyalty to someone else.”

Lucas spluttered, and a few people fake-coughed covering their laugh. At last, everyone moved away, and he closed the space between him and Kisa, looping his arm around her waist.

“So, I take it, your date sucked?” she raised an eyebrow smugly, and he couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“You could say that,” he motioned his hand towards the villa. “We should talk.”

Kisa studied his eyes for a moment.

“That’ll be a first.”

Lucas’ upper lip twitched slightly in annoyance, and she nodded. “We should.”

Hearing him say that he wanted only her, in front of everyone… She could see his fears written all over the man’s face before he finally spoke. She saw his confusion, and the way his jaw clenched before he finally gathered the courage to open his mouth. But when he finally did, there was no doubt, no second-guessing, no hesitation.

The second he made the decision, nothing else mattered anymore.

They walked away from the others, followed by glances and whispers, and climbed the stairs to the roof terrace. In the bright, hot afternoon, they found a little spot in the shade of a decorative wooden screen covered in vines and stared at each other, unsure what to say now.

Talking wasn’t their strongest suit, the past several weeks proved it multiple times. And now, neither knew what was supposed to happen next. How they were supposed to communicate their feelings without this constant battle for the upper hand?

Kisa waited for Lucas to start talking, too starstruck, too unsure of herself to begin the conversation. What was she supposed to tell him? That from the moment she first saw him a part of her knew that there was no escaping him? That she was terrified by her feelings that were growing stronger with each passing day, each hour and minute, despite any common sense or survival instinct?

She looked up and met his stare, almost choking on air when his darkened eyes pierced through her. Kisa huffed irritably, trying to recompose herself, and finally drawled, unable to stand the shy silence between them anymore.

“Weren’t we supposed to talk?”

He gave her a small grin and nodded.

“So,” Kisa folded her arms and cocked her head. “Talk. I don’t have the entire day.”

His eyebrows arched as the man gave her an amused glance, and she rolled her eyes, trying not to blush under his suddenly warm stare. There was the side of him that always scared her, the side she was falling for. The side that she might actually like, the side she’s been trying not to notice… But now, she couldn’t ignore it anymore.

She couldn’t ignore all the times he stood up for her, no hesitations, and no expectations. All the little things he’d done for her that she pushed aside, not letting herself dwell on them in a vain attempt to only see the side of him that she hated.

But it turned out, that side drew her to him, lured her into his trap – and when she finally realized that, it was already too late for her to be saved.

She had a million reasons to leave him, and another million to stop dreaming of a chance. With him, she’ll never know any peace, but she just couldn’t care anymore. Something inside of her just broke completely – or maybe, got fixed, but she knew, through time and space, she belonged to him, and it was just terrifying.

The way she got herself over to a stranger, allowed her guards to fall down and was willing to just trust him, even though her mind kept screaming not to. After all these times her heart got broken and her mind twisted, she should’ve been running for the hills just to get away from him – but instead, with each breath, each step, each fight, she got closer and closer to him, pulled by an invisible string.

He studied her intently, noticing every little movement of her long nervous fingers, every flutter of her ink-black eyelashes, every hitched breath that she took – and his heart kept pounding somewhere up in his throat, making it impossible for him to speak. Just seeing her, vibrating and trembling with a mix of warring emotions, made him want to wrap this woman into his arms, show her somehow – anyhow – that he would rather die than hurt her again…

But he knew, he will.

Just like she will hurt him, too.

But he was willing to endure any pain if it meant that he would have her, in the end. Somehow, this thought managed to calm him down, as if the only thing he needed was to accept that they both will screw up and make mistakes, but in the end – and somehow, he just knew it – they’ll always end up together.

_Always…_

Forever seemed so long but not long enough, somehow.

Lucas slowly reached for Kisa’s hands, still folded on her chest, and took her palms into his, feeling her racing pulse in the girl’s wrists. He lowered her hands and rested them on his thighs, just needing to feel her somehow.

“I meant what I said,” he tried to make his voice sound calm, but little bursts of excitement still broke through his seemingly unfazed tone.

She raised an eyebrow slightly, in a gesture mimicking his habit, and he almost rolled his eyes.

“I want only you, you unbearable woman,” he repeated, spotting a flicker of a smile at the corners of her lips. He rolled his eyes this time and continued, feeling his pulse everywhere, as if his heart took his entire body.

“Even if it means constant migraines caused by rolling my eyes at you fifty times a day.”

Kisa chuckled slightly. “Welcome to my world,” she let her lips stretch into a grin. “Since your first day here, those migraines just won’t stop.”

He would never admit it, but he missed this. He missed their banter, missed her sarcastic remarks about his flashy jewelry and annoying personality. Missed the way her eyes sparkled with trouble before she called him a prick and explained why exactly she thought that. He just missed this playful side of her that he hadn’t seen since the boys came back from Casa.

The tension between them broke, popped like a party balloon pricked with a cocktail stick. They looked at one another with different eyes, as if they just met for the first time, and a shudder of excitement ran through Kisa’s body. It was so unlike her, to allow herself lose control like that. To let herself fall without any hope that he’ll catch her… but there she was, drawing herself closer to him, almost pressing her mind into his, trying to become closer than their bodies ever could.

Trying to write her name all over his mind, so she was just the only one who he could ever think of.

His dark eyes looked right through her, staring deeply into her heart, into her being, and for the first time, she wasn’t scared to let him see whatever was inside her ribcage, what she’s been trying to protect so fiercely and to no avail. There was no way to stop this feeling, no matter how hard she’s been trying, and finally, she learned to accept it.

“So… what happens now?” she asked quietly, losing her usual poise.

“You choose me at the next recoupling,” Lucas shrugged. “We get to the end of this circus, leave and pretend we’ve met at a bar, like normal people.”

Kisa’s eyes widened as he continued, clearly inspired.

“I remember you walking across the bar, drinks in hands, and you stumbled into the back of my chair and poured tequila all over me.”

“Hey!” she objected. “I don’t stumble. And don’t spill tequila, for that matter.”

“Fine,” he drawled, tapping his fingers on the back of her hand. “Then, you were supposed to meet your friend, and he was running late, and you got bored and spoke to the only other person who was there alone?”

“That’s strangely… plausible.”

Now, it was Lucas’ turn to mock exasperation.

“What’s with that surprised tone?”

“Oh, nothing, really,” Kisa batted her eyelashes at him innocently. “It’s just you usually speak so much nonsense, I got surprised to hear something reasonable.”

Cutting her off, he pulled the girl closer, closing the space between them with a firm kiss that sent goosebumps over her body. His lips pressed to her, his hands on her waist, his scent filling her lungs – everything seemed so right, it almost knocked the breath out of Kisa. She kissed him countless times before but never it felt like this… as if it was meant to be that way. As if finally, she could see all her decision bringing her into that exact moment in time and place, far from home but in his arms.

His hands moved to her back, caressing her skin gently, sending little thrills of electricity down her spine whenever his fingers touched bare skin.

Lucas slowly dragged his mouth across her jawline and down her neck, leaving a path of soft, gentle kisses that burned on her skin as if his lips were made of red-hot iron. Kisa’s body trembled slightly under his touch, and he couldn’t hold back a little grin curling his lips upwards.

She could feel him smile against her neck but said nothing, too consumed with the sensations he was giving her.

This was so different, so unfamiliar, almost strange. There wasn’t any tension, no rush, no boiling blood in her veins that made her lust mix with rage and want to hurt him the way she was hurting herself this entire time. Now, there was only electricity taking over her body, making her hands slid under his shirt, caressing his stomach and sides, sliding to his back, pressing her nails slightly against his skin.

Just her light touches made his muscles twitch and his pulse fasten, racing somewhere far away from the Villa, from everyone, somewhere there was only him and her, and nobody else.

A loud fit of laughter made them pull apart, reminding that there, at the roof terrace, they weren’t alone. Lucas glanced towards the lawn, where most of the islanders were playing some kind of chase and tag game and then looked back at Kisa’s flustered, blushing face.

He slipped his fingers between hers and got to his feet, tugging at her hand gently to make her move. Without a word, he led her back inside and into the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

She looked at the man for a few seconds, as if trying to absorb as much of him as she could, and then pulled him towards the shower stalls, unbuttoning his shirt as they moved. Her large green eyes glimmered under the stray rays of the sun, and Lucas’ breath stuttered when her fingers slipped between the belt the waistband of his shorts and the hot skin of his abs.

Kisa arched her eyebrow slightly and stepped into the shower, turning the hot tap on all the way to fill the stall with heavy steam. Keeping their eye contact, he unbuckled his belt and let his shorts fall to his ankles and stepped out of it, leaving it in a messy puddle a few steps from his abandoned shirt.

He stepped into the shower closing the semi-transparent glass door behind himself and almost choking on the hot air that immediately wrapped him into a tight, suffocating embrace.

Kisa was standing just before him, still wearing her red swimsuit. She smirked suddenly and reached her hands behind her back, unhooking the clasps on the bra and then taking it off slowly, letting his eyes drink her in as she dropped it onto the tile floor and then reached for the bikini bottoms, hooking her thumbs into the waistband.

She looked him in the eyes and cocked her eyebrow slightly, a mischievous grin still playing on her lips. With a law grant, he pushed the girl into the wall, lifting her hands above her head, and his mouth covered her in a deep, demanding kiss that felt like he was trying to devour her completely.

She could feel her pulse everywhere as one of his hand caught both of her wrists and another moved down her body, tracing every curve until it reached the waistband of her bikini and slid inside, making her entire body jerk.

His fingers slid between her folds, dripping with the need for him. He moved down her throat with a trail of messy open-mouthed kisses while his fingers rubbed her clit making her hips snap into his touch and her lips part as a moan escaped her mouth. A thousand thoughts rushed through her mind like a cluster of wild bees, but she was unable to catch even one of them.

Lucas’ hot breath burned on her skin, mixing with the steam that was so thick it was impossible to see anything inside the shower, her lungs were giving out but she just clenched her hands on the man’s shoulder, bringing their bodies even closer as his fingers pumped in and out of her. She felt a hot spiral in the pit of her stomach as it started uncoiling and grabbed his hand abruptly making him stop.

With her wild eyes, she stared at him barely seing his face and grabbed him by the hips, ripping off his briefs with such force he almost stumbled.

Her movements were so abrupt and hasty as if she couldn’t wait for even a second, as if he didn’t take her the same moment, she’d just died.

He grabbed her and pushed up the wall, pinning her with his body, and she wrapped her arms and legs around him immediately, trying to get as close as possible. With his head spinning from desire and suffocatingly hot air, he pushed the fabric of her swimsuit aside entering her sharply, on the verge of pain.

She moaned loudly and bucked her hips into his, taking him as deep as she could, and he lost himself in her. His brain switched off, letting emotion to take over. He was incapable of keeping a steady rhythm, his moves wrecked and erratic, just like his scattered feelings. The burning flames, the crashing waves were washing over him like a tsunami, almost knocking him down.

He wasn’t in control anymore, not over himself, not over his feelings, not over anything, and for the first time in his life, he felt this freedom he never knew before. He never knew it was possible to feel his body floating above the ground as if he was weightless and there were no walls, only endless space with no beginning or end.

Her nails dug into his shoulders as she started pulsing all over him, and his lips found hers again, kissing her breathlessly, muffling the cry that escaped her mouth with the thrust of his hips, sending her over the edge, into an overdrive of emotions and sensations. She felt so complete, with their bodies intertwined, and her back pressed against the slippery wall, it seemed to her that she was in the open space, far away from that steam-filled bathroom.

His thrusts became frantic, almost hammering her into the tiles behind her, and Lucas snaked his hands behind her head and back, protecting her from the hits as he came deep inside of her, burying his face in her neck to muffle down his growls.

His entire body shuddered, his knees buckled, and they both collapsed onto the shower floor.

The water was pouring down onto them, burning skin and spilling into eyes, but they just kept frozen, looking at each other, unable to speak but hoping their eyes would manage what their mouths were incapable of.


	37. Bad Romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “... Stay for as long as you have time  
> So the mess that we'll become  
> Leaves something to talk about...”
> 
> [Casual Affair - Panic! At The Disco]

“Just look at her,” Lottie’s face twitched with distaste as she nodded towards Amanda. “Now, that Lucas told her to take a hike, she’s grafting that creep just to stay in the Villa. Poor Chels.”

Priya nodded slowly, stretching her legs and arms, and almost rolled off the beanbag. A loud, fake laugh screeched across the lawn when Noah grabbed the blonde by the waist and charged towards the pool.

“Animals,” the witch tutted. “What’s his game? Just to get with as many girls as possible? I can’t believe I once defended him when he and Hope were still a thing.”

“You didn’t know him well back then,” Priya remembered that fight between her and Lottie, weeks ago. “It doesn’t matter now, anyway.”

The younger girl nodded and tapped her long nail on her sunglasses, deep in thought. She studied Priya through her mirrored shades for a very sincere moment before continuing, her voice now soft and quiet, almost timid.

“I owe you an apology,” the blonde pushed her sunglasses down her nose. “For being a bitch.”

Priya’s eyebrows shot up, but she managed to regain her previous calm state and just nodded.

“Apology accepted. And I’m sorry, too.”

They both went silent, just soaking in the late morning sun and watching other islanders as they finished their breakfast and dispersed throughout the Villa, gossiping about the events of the night before.

Lottie’s eyes fell on Lucas, Gary, and Johnny as the three of them walked past the girls towards the gym, and Johnny gave her a small smile that went straight into her stomach and felt it with dozens of colorful butterflies. The physio noticed the way she looked at the new guy, and his lips stretched into a wide grin. The blonde rolled her eyes making him chuckle.

Lucas himself looked as if he won a lottery and didn’t have to pay taxes, and it was such a bright contrast with his usual reserved expression or a condescending grin that he looked like a different person now that he was utterly happy.

“Have you seen Bobby?” Lottie asked the guys.

“He went to the Beach Hut,” Gary reported. “Everyone wants to know his thoughts on the recent… developments,” he chuckled.

“And it seems that they gave up on trying to make Kisa talk,” Johnny added with a smirk.

When the boys disappeared in the gym, Priya stretched her arm lazily and studied her manicure for a few moments before speaking.

“I know I was a bitch about it in the beginning, but I’m glad you and Bobby are friends.”

“Are you?” Lottie raised an eyebrow slightly.

Priya grazed her bottom lip between her teeth as she thought over her response. In the past few weeks, a lot has changed in her. She kept denying that Bobby softened her, but it was a lie, and they both knew it. He made her see things differently, see people in a better light… including Lottie. In the beginning, she couldn’t understand why the guy who keeps telling people he hates drama became friends with the most dramatic girl on the island – but now, she knew the answer.

Now, she could _see_ why.

After all, Lottie wasn’t that much different from Kisa. Both girls were deeply hurt and distrustful, both terrified of making connections, both reserved and troubled… They were very much alike, the only difference was in the demeanor.

Bobby changed not only herself but these two stubborn, hot-headed girls, too. Priya finally leaned forward to get closer to Lottie and nodded.

“I am,” she said simply. “I know what you did for Lucas and Kisa. You’re a good friend, and Bobby is lucky to have you… And I know, we didn’t have the best start, but I’d be glad to scratch that and start all over. If you’d like to, that is.”

The blonde girl stared back at Priya, waiting a long moment before she nodded.

“I’d like that.”

They looked at each other, unsure where to go from there, and Lottie smirked suddenly. “Does it mean we can share bras now?”

Priya tossed her head as a fit of laughter took over her, and the other girl joined her a second later, laughing with relief as if all this time she’s been just holding her breath. No matter how hard she tried, she was never capable of being mates with other girls and watching Priya and Kisa together, the way they trusted each other with everything, how close they were made her realize how much she’s been missing.

Lucas and Bobby were great, and she cared about both of them, but there was always this line between her and them, a certain point she couldn’t cross unless she was looking for trouble with their girls… And all she wanted was to have someone she wouldn’t need to worry about things like that with.

“Where’s Kisa?” Lottie asked as they both finally stopped giggling.

Priya looked around, finally realizing that her friend never showed up for breakfast and wasn’t around now. After last night, she was too blissed out to notice anything. Her gaze shifted to the daybeds where Chelsea was talking to Shannon while watching her partner cruising around the new girl, and the blonde’s face was dark and gloomy.

The ginger girl told her something, and Chelsea slowly climbed off the daybed and moved towards the pool with a look of determination on her face.

“Uh-oh,” Lottie sat up straighter not to miss the scene. “Someone’s in trooouble.”

Priya shot her a glance: “I’m not close with Chelsea but she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. Can you imagine, there was a second when I actually considered him an option.”

“See, I’m not the only one regretting my past mistakes,” Lottie snorted watching Chelsea as she stood on the coping talking to the couple in the pool. “I wish there was a remote control to make her a bit louder so we’d have some free entertainment.”

“You’re evil,” Priya shook her head, somewhat amused. “But where _is_ Kisa?”

Lottie suddenly pointed towards the kitchen. “There they are.”

Kisa climbed the barstool while Bobby busied himself with the coffee machine. The baker’s cheeks were still bright pink, and he couldn’t hide the excitement in his eyes.

“Bobby, relax,” the girl rolled her eyes. “If she sees you in your happy puppy state, she’ll bury you in questions and you’ll spill everything.”

He frowned but kept silent as he made coffee for both of them. Kisa grabbed one of the croissants and took a bite, watching her friend with a tiny smile playing at the corners of her mouth. The last time she saw someone this happy was her grandfather on the day of his and jida’s Ruby anniversary, and now, seeing Bobby this way, vibrating with excitement, made her heart swell in her chest.

“You told Lucas yet?” she wondered as the baker put a mug in front of her.

“Not yet,” he slid on the seat next to her. “I only told you…”

“And the entire country,” Kisa broke into laughter when she saw Bobby’s egg-on-face.

“Can you not?” he hid his reddened face in his hands, embarrassed. “I can’t believe I never thought of it… everyone at the finale will know,” he groaned in frustration. “I bet anything someone’s gonna spill it out before I’ll have a chance.”

Kisa wrapped her arm around the man’s shoulders. “Leave it to your best… mate,” she grinned at the way he jerked in her half-embrace. “Relax, everything’s gonna be fine. Kathleen promised to help, so just take a deep breath because…” her eyes wandered for a moment. “Because she’s heading our way… Ola, chicas.”

She mentally kicked herself off the roof terrace the same moment both Priya and Lottie stared at her in silence.

“Hey yourself,” the Villa’s resident witch mumbled first. “Where were you both the entire morning?"

“Beach Hut,” they said in unison, and Bobby’s face flushed red again.

“Bobby means that he was there first and then they called for me, and he just waited for me because he wanted to spend some more time with his best friend, the AC,” Kisa nudged the baker painfully under the table.

“You guys are weird,” the blonde girl said as someone’s phone beeped.

“Guys, a text!” Gary’s loud yell echoed through the Villa, and the four of them walked towards the gym.

Lottie leaned into Kisa. “Is everything okay?”

The dark-haired girl nodded. “Yeah, all is good.”

She cast a glance towards Bobby and Priya who were walking slowly, both enveloped into each other’s arms.

“Great, actually.”

The moment they walked into the gym two strong muscular arms wrapped around her waist, pressing her back into Lucas’ chiseled chest. Kisa’s eyes fell close for a second as she allowed herself to relax in his embrace, and his scent enwrapped her. He felt the moment the tension left her body and fought back a small, content smile that was already forming on his lips.

After last night, everything changed.

Suddenly, he had this clear vision of what his life will be when the show ends, and in every picture, she was. Across the table from him at the family dinner; scooched on the couch next to him at The Alchemist; sitting on the porch of his house, drinking her morning coffee; in his white shirt thrown over her black lace lingerie standing in the doorway to their bedroom.

She tilted her head slightly, her eyes still shut and pressed her lips to the hollow of his neck, and his heart jumped to his throat.

How could he be so stupid and blind?

How could he willingly be missing on _this_ all this time? There was no more need for the upper hand, no more struggle to let go of control, no more doubts… His arms tightened around the girl and he kissed her forehead, completely out for the count. The voices of other islanders barely reached his consciousness, turning into white noise as he kept tracing his lips across her cheekbone and down to her lips.

Kisa chuckled softly at how he reminded her of a giant, contented cat. She twisted her body in his arms and grabbed him by his necklace, grinning.

“You look so punch-drunk,” she pulled him closer and whispered into space between them. “Cute.”

He huffed immediately and cocked his head, moving one hand to take hold of her chin.

“Careful,” he whispered back lowly, sending shivers down her spine. “I don’t exactly do cute.”

She bit her lip, drowning in his dark, hypnotic eyes when someone touched her shoulder.

“Hey, lovebirds,” Priya was grinning from ear to ear when her friends both went red in their faces realizing that everyone was staring at them. “It’s challenge o’clock.”

Kisa groaned in frustration letting the older girl pull her away from Lucas as they all went to get ready for the torture.

“Why now?” she frowned. “It’s finally a nice day, why ruin it?”

“You just answered your own question,” Priya shrugged. “Sometimes, I wonder if I skipped the ‘you’re not allowed to have a single chill day’ clause when I signed that contract.”

When they got to the challenge stage, Kisa’s phone buzzed, and only the camera pointed towards her face was the reason she didn’t throw the phone as far as possible. With two new people and her being single, the atmosphere was already tensed enough, without this stupid challenge.

“Secrets Unrevealed,” she read the text. “Amanda and Johnny will take turns reading about all secret kisses and conversations that happened on Love Island this summer.”

As she continued reading, her pulse quickened. She never kissed anyone she wasn’t supposed to kiss, never talked shit behind anyone’s back… why was she so nervous?

As everyone took their places, Kisa waved her hand at one of the producers who was creeping nearby.

“Aren’t you forgetting someone?” she pursed her lips.

“Aw, isn’t it sad you’re single _and_ already forgotten?” Amanda smiled triumphantly.

Kisa raised an eyebrow slightly but kept silent, remembering the promise to ignore the bitch that she gave Lucas in a fit of some kind of mental block. She cocked her head and looked defiantly at him.

“You can join one of the couples,” the producer decided finally, and Priya immediately beckoned her over.

She moved to take her place next to the older girl when Lucas suddenly grabbed her hand and whispered, his voice soft like caramel. “Good girl.”

She snapped her eyes up at him in time to spot the most self-assured grin out of all self-assured grins.

“I’ll pay you back,” she promised. “You just signed your own death sentence.”

“I can’t wait, _sweetheart_ ,” his smirk grew wider, and Kisa rolled her eyes at how pleased with himself the man looked.

“You guys flirt weird,” Lottie’s voice made them both pull apart, startled. “Time to spill some tea.”

When the green-eyed girl took her place next to Bobby, he leaned forward as if to grab a piece of chalk, and whispered into her hair: “What if they included today’s conversation?”

“No way,” she whispered back. “This setting isn’t dramatic enough.”

Johnny held up the first card and waved his hand, catching everyone’s attention.

___ said: “__ just completely changed __ personality to fit her criteria, and now he’s her little lapdog.”_

Gary whistled. “Bruh, that’s savage.”

Now, Kisa knew why exactly her heart was pounding this entire time: she might’ve not been the one to talk behind someone’s back, and her darkest secret came out when Lucas told the entire Villa they’ve been fucking – but there were people she cared about, people who were just about to get hurt.

“Well, we can scratch Gary,” Bobby said slowly, stretching words. “You think it’s about me and Priya?”

Bobby turned to Kisa, and the way her face fell was his answer. “Yeah, thought so. But I don’t mind,” he suddenly grinned widely. “I love your lap.”

He pulled his girlfriend in and pressed his mouth to hers in a quick, deep kiss that left them both breathless and flushed.

“And we all think Noah said that, right?”

Both Priya and Kisa nodded, and the baker scribbled their answer on a blackboard.

“Would you do the honors?”

He glanced at Kisa, and she held the board up. Everyone else’s board had Priya and Bobby’s names written over them, along with Noah’s and Lucas’. The physio caught Kisa’s glance and just shrugged.

“I do look like someone who would’ve said that,” he admitted. “Just not about my friend.”

“Everyone heard that!” Bobby yelped suddenly. “He called me his friend!”

“… and it’s gone now,” Lucas smirked. “Just a momentarily weakness.”

Johnny peeled the stickers off: “Lucas and Lottie, Shannon and Gary and the lovely throuple get a point.”

They played a few more rounds, and the further in the game they got, the tighter the metal ring around Kisa’s chest clenched. All the secrets were painfully embarrassing at best, or just painful, and she was waiting the moment they’ll get to something she’d done. Just because everyone knew she cheated on Kassam didn’t mean they won’t include someone’s nasty comment into this ridiculous game.

“Alright, you lot, just two cards left,” Johnny took a piece of cardboard.

___ shot and missed, and her little cheeky kiss remained unanswered. So faithful, ___

A few people chuckled, and Priya leaned over the stand to glance at Kisa.

“Could be Lottie or Chelsea,” the older girl whispered. “I kinda think it’s both of them.”

Bobby glanced at Kisa, a furrow in his brow. “Lottie wouldn’t go there.”

Priya was just about to say something but bit the tip of her tongue and just nodded: she offered the blonde to start over. If she wanted it to work, she wasn’t supposed to assume the worst immediately. Slowly, she took the chalk out of Bobby’s fingers and wrote Chelsea and Lucas’ names down.

The baker smiled at her and glanced around.

“So, almost no one’s in an alliance,” he smirked as he saw Lucas’ chalkboard. “What’s the answer, then?”

Johnny peeled the sticker off. “A point to Lucas and Lottie and the Golden Trio.”

Amanda rolled her eyes and grabbed the last card, her lips curling into a spiteful smile the same moment.

___said: “__ is staying loyal to a cheater.”_

A dead silence fell. Kisa slowly reached for the chalk, wrote down Lucas’ name, and held the board up so everyone could see it.

“You’re supposed to write down both names,” Amanda sent her a triumphant look, and the dark-haired girl almost lost it.

With a deep breath, she spat through clenched teeth: “If you don’t want to see your head stuck in this board, do everyone a favor, shut your piehole.”

“Are you okay?” Bobby’s hand squeezed her forearm gently.

“I’m fucking marvelous,” she shook his hand off feeling a poke of guilt. “Sorry. I just want this to be over.”

She stared at the corner of the board, not meeting anyone’s eye, aware that Lucas was burning holes in her skin with his gaze. Whoever said that, was right. She was a cheater, now. And she had to learn how to live with it because it was going to stay with her forever. She broke someone’s heart because she was trying to protect hers, and she couldn’t take it back no matter how much she was willing to give away for that.

As in slow-motion, Amanda finally peeled off the sticker. _Lottie said: “Shannon is staying loyal to a cheater.”_

A moment of silence, and then everyone was talking at once. Kisa felt someone’s arms wrapping around her, and a moment later Lucas snatched the blackboard out of her hands and sent it flying across the stage.

She couldn’t hold back the tears when he pulled her into himself, covering her face with kisses as she poured her heart out, for the first time in years letting herself lose control completely.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered to the girl. “Everything’s okay.”

“It’s not,” she cried into his chest, uncaring that there were people around, that everyone could see her breakdown. “I don’t know what Gary did… but _I_ am the cheater. I-I… how can you trust me after what I’ve done?”

She said it suddenly in a calm, cold voice that made him unclasp her from the embrace.

“Look me in the eye and say that you never thought about it. Tell me a part of you doesn’t think that since I cheated with you, one day, I will cheat _on_ you.”

He looked at her helplessly, and Kisa laughed bitterly. “Exactly.”

She took a step back.

“You’ll never be able to trust me, you will always have this doubt. And I won’t be able to be with you knowing that deep inside, you’re just waiting for me to hurt you,” she whisked the tears off her cheek. “I’m sorry, but it’s over. We’re over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s cruel... but we’re going on hiatus until December🙈  
> I’m sooooorry, but on the bright side, my other 3 WIPs are back (in case you wanna check them out *wink-wink*)  
> _____________________________
> 
> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


	38. Black Water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I wanna flow with you over holy water  
> I wanna crawl into all your secret corners  
> I wanna brace myself, we go heavy harder..."
> 
> [Fade to Blue - Roniit]

In stunned silence, Bobby watched Kisa march off, her movements so rigid as if someone pinned her onto a stick like the rarest butterfly. The baker dragged his gaze off her receding figure and stepped closer to Lucas whose lifeless gaze was still glued to where the girl disappeared.

“Let’s get out of here,” Bobby firmly wrapped his arm around the other man and pulled him towards the Villa.

Lucas followed him silently, not noticing his surroundings. Priya rushed to catch up to Kisa, and everyone else was too busy discussing the last secret to notice their disappearance. Bobby shooed away one of the creeping staff members and looked around the lounge: no one was usually there during the day, and it was secluded enough not to worry about anyone eavesdropping on them.

 _As if it’d actually matter,_ the baker shook his head in frustration, glancing worriedly at his friend. Lucas’ face turned into a mask, not a single emotion was in those dark eyes of his that now stared into space before him.

She wasn’t wrong. He knew himself too well to think that he could just erase those memories from his mind. Right there and then, it didn’t matter – but what happens when they’re both out in the real world and she’s back to singing and will be constantly surrounded by men? Even those pictures on her band’s Instagram were enough to make him question whether she was involved with one of her musicians – how he was going to pretend to be fine with her friendships if there was this thought on the back of his mind, this memory of her betraying somebody’s trust, for him?

He always knew they weren’t right for each other, he knew it since the second he realized what exactly she wanted from him – and yet, he kept pursuing her, kept pushing her boundaries to the point she had none.

He wanted to make her his, and so he did. He took her from someone who was better for her, who would’ve made her the happiest if only given a chance – and he took his chance away from her. Selfishly, he pushed her to do something she now hated herself for, something that wasn’t her, Lucas knew it. He knew everything about her, about who she was, and he didn’t stop. He kept pushing, and pushing, and pushing some more until she finally broke.

He remembered the way she looked at him as she said they were done, something inside her shattered that moment.

Bobby waited for the older man to snap out of his thoughts, not rushing him to speak. He was worried sick about Kisa, but Lucas needed him more, Kisa had Priya to take care of her, but this stubborn, closed-off man had no one else but Bobby and the baker couldn’t leave him. He sat next to the physio quietly, his hand still resting on Lucas’ shoulder, bringing the other man the comfort he needed so much but would never ask for.

His jaw set tightly as if his body was physically unwilling to speak, and they just sat there in silence, both consumed with their thoughts.

Maybe if he told her how he felt about her – how he _truly_ felt for her… Maybe, that would’ve stopped her from breaking up with him? If she knew that he didn’t just want to be serious with her if she knew how much he…

He couldn’t say those words even inside of his head, and a wave of hatred ran through the man’s body. What kind of a coward he was?

Bobby noticed the change in Lucas’ face and carefully squeezed his shoulder.

“Hey,” the baker waited until the other man narrowed his eyes at him. “Talk to me.”

“About what?” Lucas shrugged tiredly. “You heard her.”

The baker sighed. Kisa already could barely stand herself for cheating on Kassam, this ridiculous challenge just kicked the solid ground from under her feet. If not for it, if the topic came up later, when both she and Lucas were out of the Villa… Bobby frowned: he had no idea what life would’ve been for those two in the real world.

He and Priya were on the same page about everything, there wasn’t _just_ love between them: they wanted the same future. They wanted to move in together, get married, have kids – they wanted their lives to entwine and entangle to the point there was no Bobby and Priya, only they, the two of them, together, until their last breath.

But when Lucas and Kisa thought of the future, what did they see?

Slowly, Bobby shifted in his seat to face the man next to him.

“You should tell her,” he said very quietly, almost whispering. “That you love her.”

Lucas’s face changed when he heard someone else say the words he couldn’t even think of. His upper lip twitched as he moved away from his friend, crossing his arms over his chest almost defensively.

“What kind of nonsense is that?”

“I’m just saying,” Bobby burned his eyes into him. “If you’re insisting to keep lying to yourself, let me say it for you. You. Love. Kisa. And you’re terrified of what it might mean.”

The baker got to his feet and, towering above the other man, shook his head.

“She might be right, about you not trusting her,” Bobby said calmly. “But if there’s just a tiny chance that you’ll be able to work through it – try to. She nearly broke herself because of you – for you. Do you really think she’d do it for anybody else? She messed up, but it’s a human thing. So… just listen to that feeling inside of you that tells you that she will never betray you because it’s not lying.”

Bobby bent over and put his hands on the man’s shoulder, staring into his dark-brown eyes.

“She needs you, but even more, she needs you to be sure of what you want from her. If you think she’s right, and you won’t be able to trust her completely – then let her go. Don’t torture her and yourself anymore.”

He left the older man alone and went outside, squinting in the bright sunlight. He could hear loud voices coming from the firepit and splashes of water in the pool where Lottie and Johnny were battling for a flamingo-shaped float. Finally, the man managed to dunk under her and re-emerged next to the pink monster, a victorious smile on his lips.

“I win!”

The witch rolled her eyes, spotting Bobby as she turned away, ignoring Johnny’s smug grin. She glanced back at the man, and he nodded, and Lottie swam up to where her friend was standing, watching them.

“Hey,” she pulled herself out of the pool and grabbed one of the towels. “How’s he?”

Bobby only waved his hand aimlessly.

“Yeah, sounds about right,” the blonde put the mic set back on, sighing. “Come on, we need to talk.”

She walked him into the empty kitchen and opened the fridge, hoping there was something they could eat while Bobby busied himself with tea. He put two steaming mugs onto the counter, and Lottie slid on the chair next to the baker, a pack of biscuits in her hands.

Bobby stared at the setup before them and chuckled.

“It’s official, we’re old.”

The blonde girl giggled, biting into one of the biscuits. “I’m glad it’s just a week until the finale,” she stated, pulling one of the mugs closer.

“Couldn’t agree more,” Bobby glanced around. “You and Johnny seem happy together.”

Her face lit up at his mention, and Lottie cast a glance towards the pool where Johnny was drifting splayed on the float.

“I’ll be even happier when we finally couple up,” she dragged her gaze off of him. “At this point, only you and Priya are solid.”

Bobby frowned a little.

“What happened between Gary and Shannon? What was that secret about?”

Lottie rolled her eyes.

“He kissed Chelsea.”

“He what?” Bobby spluttered, sending little splashes of tea everywhere. “Sorry,” he reached for a napkin to give to Lottie.

She shook her hair. “Apparently, it was after Amanda’s date with Noah. Chelsea was all sad and whiny, and Gary saw her whimpering, so he went to check up on her – the rest is history.”

She sipped on her tea, contemplating whether she should vocalize her thoughts. Bobby waited for her to decide in a comfortable silence, his eyes wandering over the lawn. He spotted Amanda and Noah creeping about together, and the pit of his stomach tightened into a knot. He nudged Lottie gently on a shoulder and nodded towards the couple.

“Why do you think they’re still here?” he asked, frowning.

“What do you mean?”

Lottie dunked one of the biscuits into her mug, following Bobby’s gaze. “Don’t get me wrong, bitch can get rid right now…”

“I mean, no one likes him” Bobby kept his eyes on Noah until the librarian hid behind one of the corners. “Besides Hope, no one ever liked him.”

“Kisa flirted with him in the earlier days,” Lottie managed to bite back her comment about Priya.

The baker nodded, unconvinced.

“Yeah, in the first four days, mostly to piss off Hope. Then, our Lucifer showed up…”

Lottie cackled. “That nickname is sticking.”

“And she never looked at Noah ever again,” Bobby continued. “Since then, it’s been five weeks.”

“What about the Casa girls?” the blonde wondered, slowly starting to understand what exactly the man was on about.

Bobby tapped his fingertip on the bridge of his nose, thinking. He was most busy with his own troubles, either brooding or manically searching for new ways to distract himself, so he barely noticed anything that was happening around him, spending most of the time with Lucas. He remembered the older man being enraged with Noah for choosing Kisa at the recoupling just the night before the boys got whisked away to Casa Amor.

What was the librarian doing during those three days from hell?

“I don’t remember seeing him that much,” Bobby said finally. “He never brought anyone back, so probably, he wasn’t interested in getting together with anyone. But why?”

“What do you mean?”

Bobby shrugged. “Think yourself. He dumped Hope for Kisa, so he clearly wasn’t interested in her. By that time, Kisa fluffed him off so he knew she wasn’t going to stick with him even if she never brought Kassam into the Villa.”

“Still not following.”

“He had no one to come back to,” Bobby’s lips pursed in thought. “He saved Chelsea at the dumping, but they barely spoke a few words to each other at that point.”

“He didn’t have many options though,” Lottie reminded.

“True. But now, he’s coupled with Chelsea who he couldn’t care less about and is cracking on with Amanda, and I’m not buying that he suddenly flared up with feelings for her. So, I’m asking you: how come he’s still here?”

Lottie frowned a little, finishing her drink.

“That’s quite a conspiracy theory, Bobby,” she said finally. “But I agree. I don’t trust him, not even in the slightest. If not for him, Kisa and Lucas would’ve been coupled up when you guys left to Casa, and maybe she…”

“She would’ve brought Kassam back even in that case,” the baker sighed. “She was determined to stop her feelings for Lucas, at any cost.”

“Look how it all worked out,” the blonde rested her chin on her hand, and they both went silent, listening to the hum of voices and the sounds of other islanders moving around the Villa.

Shannon and Gary both walked up the stairs, their hands not touching, but both of them looked calm enough to just walk beside each other. Gary’s phone beeped with a message and he said something to the ginger to which she nodded and hanged back to watch him disappear inside the building.

When Gary went inside, she looked around, spotting Lottie and Bobby in the kitchen, and the witch waved her over.

“Hey.”

The poker player climbed the chair across the counter from them, and Bobby thought that she probably had no one else to talk to: Chelsea was the one who put her in a position like that, Amanda was out of the question, and she wasn’t that close with any of the guys. He gave her a small friendly smile and slid off his seat to make another cup of tea.

“You okay?” Lottie leaned her elbows against the marble, bringing herself closer to the other girl.

Shannon nodded weakly. “I think so, yes. We spoke about it, and I said I can move past it.”

Lottie bit on her bottom lip to restrain herself from speaking, but the ginger immediately tensed up, reading her like an open book.

“Just say it,” the Irish frowned. “I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”

“It’s nothing bad,” the blonde mentally kicked herself. “It’s just… he kissed someone just because she was sad? That’s a weak excuse, isn’t it?”

Shannon sighed, nodding again. Her face fell for a moment as if Lottie’s words were just her own thought spoken out loud. Her shoulders slumped forward, and her entire posture changed, showing how tired she was. Bobby shot Lottie a disapproving glance, but deep inside, he knew the blonde was right to say that.

He put a steaming mug before the girl, and she sent him a grateful glance.

“Thank you,” the ginger stared into the liquid for a bit before continuing. “You’re right, Lottie. If something like this happened on the outside, I would be done the very same moment. But I… started to like this thing between us, you know?”

“Oh, babes,” Lottie suddenly sobbed and rushed to hug the other girl, almost knocking the mug off the counter.

“Oh, you’re giving away free hugs?” Priya’s voice startled them all as she walked closer to the small company and snaked her arm around Bobby’s waist casually. “I want one, too.”

She looked at her boyfriend, and Bobby’s heart fluttered in his chest at the way her eyes sparkled, meeting his. She tilted her head to her side, assessing him with her piercing stare, and Bobby’s face flushed red when her hand slipped to the small of his back, her fingers caressing his skin.

Priya chuckled softly and leaned into him to press a kiss to his lips before whispering.

“Kisa went to the Beach Hut… How’s _he_?”

“Very much like himself,” Bobby frowned in concern. “A stubborn idiot,” he explained just in case.

“Nothing new then,” Priya sighed. “Maybe you…”

“Yeah,” Bobby nodded. “I’m gonna find Kisa now.”

He kissed his girl again and smiled at Lottie and Shannon before heading back inside, deep in thought. He meant every word he said to Lucas – he needed to figure himself out, if not for himself, at least, to stop torturing Kisa. He loved the girl, Bobby had no doubt about that – but he was also frightened to open up to her, and that was the reason why she tried so hard to get away from the physio.

He was scared of her, and she was terrified of him, and neither of them seemed to have the strength to either make it or break it, both floating in this strange flux of fears and doubts. And Bobby hated it, he hated seeing his two closest friends being so miserable.

He walked past the lounge barely noticing anything around himself when suddenly, he froze, staring inside the room.

With her arms coiled around Lucas’s neck, Amanda stood on the tiptoes, her lips pressed into the man’s mouth in a kiss that made Bobby’s stomach drop as he backed away quietly.

_He decided to fuck up._


	39. Between the Wars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kisa's singing The Jokes On You - Charlotte Lawrence (acoustic)

Kisa’s phone beeped from somewhere under the blanket, and she groaned in pain, trying to find the source of noise. Her head was splitting in two and the last thing she needed was yet another ridiculous challenge.

Why was she even there?

The girl snapped her eyes open, squinting in the bright light of the morning sun. She hated that place, she couldn’t care less about most of those people, and her bet with Alex was at that point just meaningless. She didn’t need to win to help her band, at least, from what Kassam and Johnny said, it seemed that she already managed to attract enough attention to her music.

She rubbed her eyes and finally grabbed her phone, contemplating throwing it into the pool for a moment. ' _Girls only spa day'._

At any other given time, she would’ve growl in frustration at just the thought of spending time in a solely female group – but not now. Spending a few hours away from the Villa and away from _him_ seemed worthy of all the petty catfights and cheap drama that was just inevitable in this ‘ladies only’ setup.

Kisa slid from under the blankets, stretching with her entire body. Sleeping on the daybeds stopped bothering her long ago, funny enough, it almost brought her comfort, just to be alone outside, under the stars. Shaking her head at the ridiculousness of her thoughts, the girl quietly went inside, hoping she was the first one up. She grabbed her caddy and went into the bathroom, avoiding looking in the mirror.

She wasn’t even sad anymore. It seemed that all her tears, pain, all her feelings were gone. She cried so much the day before, that now her eyes were painfully dry, and so was her heart.

She loved him.

She loved him to the point nothing else mattered.

She loved him so much she broke somebody for him, and broke herself for him, too.

But she loved him wrong.

And she couldn’t keep doing it to him, couldn’t keep pretending that one day she will find a way to love him the way he wanted, that one day she will be able to forget everything that he’d done to her, everything she’d done to herself, to him, to people around them.

Boiling hot water was pouring down her body, washing away any residues of the night before, but she barely noticed the steam and that her skin turned red almost immediately. There were no tears anymore, no thoughts, nothing, only this ringing silence inside of her head, the emptiness that made her almost numb.

 _He_ deserved better.

Kassam deserved better.

And she… she made her own bed herself.

Kisa turned the taps off and slowly stepped out of the shower, wrapping a large bath towel around herself. Her dark-green eyes were now dull, their color dirty, barely recognizable, as if someone just mixed together a bunch of paints and left it there. Her alabaster skin seemed transparent, all the little veins and capillaries entangled into complicated patterns close to the surface of her skin coloring it all shades of blue and purple.

“Oh,” the door flew open, letting in half-asleep Lottie. “Sorry, didn’t mean to…” she yawned widely. “Startle you.”

Kisa just nodded, and the blonde’s eyes focused on her emotionless face.

“A spa day sounds nice,” Lottie took a step closer to use another sink, her gaze still lingering on the older girl.

“Hopefully, it means bottomless cocktails and a psychotherapy session,” Kisa rolled her eyes at the way the Villa’s resident witch seemed to be tiptoeing around her.

Lottie snorted in laughter. “Yeah, we could all use a bit of both.”

This small, meaningless conversation finally shook the dark-haired girl out of the trance she fell into, and she nodded, squeezing toothpaste onto her brush.

“How’s Shannon?” she continued just to keep the conversation flowing. “Is she and Gary…?”

Lottie spat out the toothpaste and started rubbing her exfoliator in gentle circular motions all over her face. She’s never heard Kisa asking about anyone but Bobby and Priya, and the blonde weren’t sure whether this sudden interest was a sign of Apocalypses or the other girl was just trying to get her mind off of things.

Lottie frowned at her reflection and splashed her face with cold water.

“Well, they were fine before Priya chimed in with her empowering ‘that asshole deserves no mercy’ talk.”

Kisa’s eyebrows shot up.

“She what?”

The blonde cackled. “Well, not in those words, but she said that Gary’s excuse that he kissed Chelsea because of ‘the moment’ and because ‘she was sad’ wasn’t too convincing.”

Lottie was watching Kisa’s reaction closely, remembering all too well the way the dark-haired girl broke down yesterday during the challenge, and how she saw her late at night, alone on the daybed after she chased Pribby away, curled up in a ball, shaking in tears. And at that moment, the witch wished she could find the courage to get downstairs and comfort Kisa.

“It _is_ a crappy excuse,” Kisa said finally and grabbed her caddy. “I’ll see you in a few.”

She left the other girl and almost bumped into Amanda on her way back into the girls’ dressing room.

“Good morning,” Amanda’s mouth stretched into an unpleasant grin. “You don’t look too well, bad night?”

Kisa’s eyes narrowed at the shorter girl as she took a step closer, cocking her head and staring down at her as if barely able to see the blonde so much beneath herself. With a slowly, refined movement of her hand she flipped her long, heavy strands of hair over her shoulder and curled her upper lip slightly up, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

“Indeed, a bad night. What’s your excuse? Bad life or just weren’t ever blessed with good looks?”

The other girl’s face changed into a sudden smirk.

“Lucas did not complain…”

A sudden whirlwind of Priya cut her short.

“We’re supposed to be ready in twenty minutes,” she tugged at Kisa’s hand, dragging her away from Amanda. “And you, fuck off.”

She walked her friend into the then empty dressing room and started rummaging through Kisa’s cupboard. “Here,” she threw a bright red tiger-stripe one-piece at her. “Put this on and let me do your hair.”

“Did you drink too much coffee?” Kisa stared back at the older girl but went behind the screen to get dressed. “You’ve got too much enthusiasm for eight in the morning.”

Priya mumbled something in response, fixing her own hair quickly, trying to keep her energy so high that some of it might sink into the dull, paperwhite skin of the other girl, breathing just a bit of life into her listless eyes. Kisa stepped from behind the screen, and the older girl patted the seat next to her, blubbering about Bobby who managed to slap her across the face in his sleep.

They got ready and Priya grabbed Kisa’s guitar.

“What?” she shrugged. “It’s a girls’ day. Gia is one of us.”

The green-eyed girl chuckled, and they slowly walked downstairs, where the cars were waiting for them, and Kisa climbed into the Jeep.

“Morning,” Tim, her usual driver glanced at the girl. “You look like hell.”

Priya sent him a look while Kisa sniggered. “Just imagine how I feel.”

He turned the music on as they waited for the rest of the girls. Shannon strode out of the Villa, frowning, and Priya waved her hand at the poker player.

“Join our car,” she offered, glancing at Kisa who just shrugged. “We have the best DJ.”

Tim chuckled flipping through the playlist until finally found the song he was searching for.

“Oh, come on,” Kisa rolled her eyes at the familiar beat.

“What can I say, a dedicated fan here,” the driver smirked.

“It’s your song?” Priya squeaked in excitement. “Volume up, up!”

“Don’t worry, it’s not contagious,” Kisa smirked. “The battery will die out in about forty minutes away from Bobby.”

“I’m not _that_ hooked,” the older girl rolled her eyes.

“She literally said she _feels_ when he isn’t around.”

Kisa busied her mind with pointless banter with Tim and the girls until they were finally at the secluded beach with a little bar and sun umbrellas made of straws. Kicking her mic set aside, Kisa leaped into the sea, and the water took her into its cool embrace, dragging her limp body further into its depth.

With a forceful motion, she broke through the surface and took a deep breath, filling her lungs with fresh, salty air.

With her eyes closed, she drifted on the surface, moving her hands only when the currants took her too far from the shore. It was so calm, so serene, she could hear only the water leap against the rocks of the cliff in a short distance from where they were and the girls’ muffled voices as they made cocktails and argued who’s building a sandcastle.

Her mind was so peaceful as if the last night never happened. Maybe, she just broke completely? How much pain can one heart take before it just stops feeling at all? She must’ve just reached her limit.

A burst of loud screams broke through the air, scaring off a couple of seagulls, and the girl turned over in the water, swimming up closer. Shannon and Chelsea were up in each other’s face as the tension has finally broken into a fight.

“Well, he kissed me himself!” Chelsea’s tiny body seemed even smaller next to Shannon’s curves. “I didn’t point a gun to his head!”

“You just tried to pull the same trick as with Lucas!” the ginger spat. “Only this time it actually worked!”

Amanda’s lips curled into a sly grin. “Takes the right woman…”

“You,” Priya shot up from her sun lounger. “Shut your huge mouth before I do it for you.”

Still grinning, Amanda cocked an eyebrow.

“Oh, you’re too scared your little friend learns the truth,” her face twisted with dark satisfaction. “It’ll be good for her to know that she’s nothing more but a fling to him.”

“You’re just a jealous little bitch,” Lottie stood next to Priya, almost advancing at Lucas’s ex.

“I don’t believe it!” Shannon’s yelp drowned out whatever else the witch said next. “If you can’t…”

A guitar riffle coming from behind their backs made the girls stop and turn around. Kisa’s fingers were running across the strings, evoking soft, melodic notes as she watched the arguing girls.

_“Drag me to death, like a lit cigarette  
Took my last breath, like the smoke from my lips  
I've lied for you, and I liked it too  
But my knees are bruised, from kneeling to you…”_

Almost hypnotized, they sat on the sand around her, only Amanda held back, rolling her eyes as she went to grab a drink at the bar. Priya’s shoulder rested against Lottie’s as she listened to Kisa’s voice, forgetting everything else as its slightly raspy but somehow crystal-clear sound crept under her skin. She felt Lottie’s body tense for a moment as the witch frowned in an attempt to hold back the tears, and the older girl smiled softly: if anyone told her just two weeks ago that she will be there, next to the blonde, and she would actually _enjoy_ the company…

 _“_ _God knows I've tried to be kind_ _  
But I will just lay down and die  
Wearing a fake smile  
The joke's on you…”_

The more Lottie got to know Kisa, the more she could see herself in the older girl. She remembered their first civil conversation, on the night of Roccogate – it was the first time she allowed herself to doubt that the dark-haired girl was as bad as she wanted her to be.

It was just a glimpse into who the singer really was, and Lottie made sure she brushed it off and went back to hating just the mere fact of her existence… She met Kassam, and he was so obviously enchanted with Kisa that Lottie couldn’t help to hate the other girl for that too, even though there was none of her fault that the man liked her and not Lottie.

How ridiculous she felt now that she knew that Kisa was nothing she thought her to be… and how ridiculous it was of Lottie to let her entire life depend on whether a guy liked her or not, how wrong she was about everyone here and on the outside, now she knew. She glanced at Priya, and the older girl gave her a small reassuring smile and a gentle squeeze on her knee.

_“I've had enough, but you're too hard to quit  
We've had our fun, now your sugar makes me sick  
I've lied for you, and I liked it too  
But my makeup's ruined…”_

Kisa’s voice broke ever so slightly before reaching higher, and Chelsea’s heart jumped up as if she was riding on a rollercoaster. She brushed a tear off her cheek, her bottom lip caught between her teeth in deep thought. What was this summer for her? So many disappointments, so many friendships that she couldn’t make, so many relationships that never worked out.

She glanced at Shannon whose eyes were glued to Kisa but seemed to be looking through the girl, and her stomach tightened into a knot. How could she do it to her? How could she be so selfish, how could she just ruin something that was only beginning, out of self-pity? And how was she supposed to fix it now when the other girl hated her so much?

She came to Love Island to have the summer of her life, but it turned into a disaster right off the bat, first Lucas, then Gary, then Noah… Why it’s been always like that? Why all the men she tried so hard for always chose somebody else? Why Lucas chose Kisa who treated him horribly? Why Elijah was dumped, and she got stuck with Noah who despised every each of them? And what was she supposed to do now to undo the damage that she caused to another girl, over a guy?

 _“My heart's gone bad, now it won't beat for you_ _  
You had your laugh, now I won't play the fool  
But I'm black and blue, from bleeding for you…”_

Kisa watched the faces before her through her lowered lashes, and saw all their thoughts, all the doubts, and fears, and she felt everything that those girls felt at that moment. Just singing for them, making them finally think about each other and not just their own troubles helped her see herself through the eyes of somebody else.

She was so wounded, all because of a man, but she did it to herself. None of it was his fault, he never lied to her, he was honest from the moment they’ve met. She _chose_ to break herself, and it was only her responsibility, no one else to blame.

 _“You strike the match, burn me out so fast_ _  
Look what we had, now it's turned to ash…”_

Shannon’s gaze shifted to Chelsea who sat next to her, her shoulders slumped forward and eyes large and wet with tears. She knew blaming everything on her was unfair, especially after she told Gary that they were fine – so why she’d done? Why she attacked the girl for something that not she did to her?

She was so quick to accept Gary’s apologies and his reasoning, but it was _he_ who betrayed her, her partner, not a girl she’d known for about two weeks. She liked Gary, she liked their quiet moments, so she decided to give him another chance – but did he deserve one? Did he deserve a free pass while she was giving a hard time to someone who barely deserved it?

Hesitantly, Shannon turned her body to Chelsea, and the blonde looked up at her.

“I’m so sorry, Shannon,” she whispered, and the tears finally ran down her cheeks.

“I know,” the ginger pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry, too.”

_“But baby, if I had to choose  
The joke's on you…”_

Priya nudged Lottie and nodded towards the girls as Kisa’s hand ran across the strings for the last time, and silence fell upon them, only disturbed with the sound of sea waves caressing the shore and the soft sobbing.

Someone’s phone beeped, and Lottie walked over to the sun lounger.

“It’s time to get back,” she said with a note of regret in her voice. “I don’t want to.”

“Same here,” Priya got up and outstretched her hands to help Shannon and Lottie to their feet.

As the girls began gathering their things, Kisa stood quietly, water leaping at her feet, and looked at the horizon now colored in gold and soft pink. She smiled softly at the tranquility of the moment: she made up her mind.

She played to win, and she lost.

There was no need to stay there any longer, and she wasn’t going to. It was the time for her to leave Love Island and move on.

A sigh of relief escaped Kisa’s mouth as she made the decision and followed the other girls to the cars, her heart finally free.


	40. Frost and Ice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to 2021! I hope all of you had amazing Holidays, and I wish everyone infinity of love, happiness and health ♥️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “... Rip the earth in two with your mind  
> Seal the urge which ensues with brass wires  
> I never meant you any harm  
> But your tears feel warm as they fall on my forearms...”
> 
> [I Gave You All - Mumford & Sons]

“Hey, Kathleen,” Kisa caught up with the producer as the girl was walking through the first floor of the villa.

“Hey,” Kathleen smiled at her. “What’s up?”

Glancing around to make sure they were alone, the dark-haired girl lowered her voice. “I need to talk to you. I’ve decided to leave.”

“What? Why?”

Kisa snorted in bitter laughter. “You know why.”

When the girls got back from their little spa day (which included exactly zero spa treatments), Priya got a message that one couple has been selected to make dinner for everyone – and for some reason, that couple was Lucas and Lottie who almost set the entire villa on fire. But it gave Kisa a chance to avoid the man for most of the night, along with Bobby who had to swoop in to help the unlucky couple.

If she and Bobby spent any time together, she would’ve told him about her decision, and there would be no end to his remonstrances to stay. Kisa shook her head and looked at the girl before her.

“There’s no point in me staying,” she said calmly, ignoring her quickening heartbeat. “One girl will be dumped at the next recoupling. I’ll just make it easier for everyone and leave. I can leave _very dramatically_ if that’s what the producers want.”

Kathleen frowned. “We don’t want you to leave at all… But I understand. Harry, our new chief, isn’t here now but I’m going to a team meeting a bit later and will talk to him there.”

Kisa nodded. “Thank you.”

“But you should know,” the other girl’s eyes looked thoughtfully into Kisa’s. “I think you’re making a mistake. You could win this thing, you’re my bet.”

The green-eyed girl smiled unhappily.

“I’ve already lost.”

She left Kathleen and walked up the stairs to find her sunglasses, her thoughts already far away from the Villa, from the island, from everything. She missed Seth and the boys, she couldn’t wait another day to see them all, to start rehearsing again. She couldn’t wait to be free in where she goes and what she wears, and who she’s surrounded by.

She just wanted to live her life again.

And she wanted to be as far away from Lucas as it was physically possible living in the same town. They will be walking down the same streets, they might even meet during their shopping sprees at Cornmarket – but she’ll do her best not to let it happen.

Kisa lowered herself onto one of the vanity chairs and stared tiredly at her reflection. She wasn’t sure how exactly she managed to keep it together, to be around people, play the guitar, eat, smile at Bobby’s silly jokes. Inside of her, there was a hollow space, all her emotions squeezed to a size of a small ball in the middle of her chest, so tight that she was terrified of what will happen when it finally explodes.

But now, there was only numbness.

She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the dinner last night and the broken family portrait that they’ve become. Shannon barely said two words to Gary, Chelsea sat on the opposite side of the table from Noah, Lottie and Lucas kept arguing whose fault the ruined food was, Johnny managed to get in a row with the librarian, and Bobby was unusually quiet, just kept throwing glances between Kisa and Lucas.

_At least, he and Priya found what they’ve been searching for._

Her phone beeped, and the girl rubbed her temples tiredly.

“Just great,” she rolled her eyes as she read the message. “At least, this is the last time.”

Slowly, she got to her feet and walked downstairs to find Priya and Bobby and read the text to everyone. As she descended the stairs, her shoulders straightened and she cocked her head, pulling on her usual indifferent bitch face, the one she was starting to forget to wear.

“I got a text,” she announced, stepping out of the building. “As a winning throuple,” her eyes rolled back into her head involuntarily. “Of the last challenge, Bobby, Priya and I were invited to a cocktail party with a view.”

“Well, that’s not weird at all,” Gary commented from the beanbag he was half-lying on.

“You girls go,” Bobby flopped his arm onto Kisa’s shoulders.

“No, you and Priya should go,” the dark-haired girl shook her head. “Spend some time away from this cemetery of good mood.”

Bobby cackled, catching his girlfriend’s eyes as she walked closer to them. Before she approached her friends, the baker whispered into Kisa’s ear hastily: “I need to speak to Kathleen about that thing…”

Kisa rolled her eyes but nodded.

“Fine, but you’ll explain to your girl yourself why you’re sending her on a date with me.”

Lucas was nowhere to be seen, and it both brought her a sense of strange relief and disappointment. If they let her leave tonight, this could’ve been the only chance to be around him just for a little… She had to shake her hair to get rid of the unsolicited thoughts. There was no need to be around him because it would only bring more pain to both of them. If she could, she would’ve left last night, spending more time in the same villa was just prolonging the agony.

Bobby whispered something to Priya, and the girl nodded, kissing his cheek gently before stepping closer to Kisa.

“C’mon, babe,” she snaked her arm around her friend’s waist. “I got permission to do whatever I’d like to you, and I’m using my chance.”

The baker watched the girls as they disappeared into the villa to get dressed and let out a small sigh. Lucas was still at the Beach Hut, and with Lottie gone to have a workout with Johnny, Bobby suddenly realized that he had no other friends. It dawned at him so unexpectedly, the man frowned for a moment: if someone told him he’d ever had a lack of people to hang out with, he’d laughed into the fool’s face.

But there he was, bored without his best mate, and somehow, it felt almost right. As if finally he managed to sort himself out and find what he actually needed. He shook his head, rolling his eyes at the sentimental thought.

“Hey, Bobby,” Kathleen’s voice made him spill water all over his chest. “Sorry. Do you know where Lucas is?”

The baker stared at her in surprise. “Isn’t it your job, to know where we’re all are?”

She rolled her eyes.

“He was supposed to be at the Beach Hut, but not anymore, apparently.”

“Oh?” Bobby’s eyebrows knotted. “I was sure he’s there.”

“Well, he’s not anymore,” the girl tutted in annoyance. “I gotta leave now, but I needed to tell him something…”

Kathleen frowned deeply, looking around at the other islanders scattered over the Villa. A loud burst of laughter caught her attention as Lottie and Johnny walked out of the gym, and the producer turned to Bobby hastily.

“Follow me.”

They went into the empty Beach Hut, and the girl closed the door behind them, motioning to Bobby to turn his mic off. Her face was still bearing the seal of concern when he did, and her nervousness passed to the baker.

“What is it?” he broke the silence, unable to wait any longer.

“This is something I’m not supposed to tell you,” Kathleen moved closer. “Or anyone, for that matter, until I speak to our chief. Kisa’s leaving.”

“She what?!” Bobby’s voice almost broke to a squeak.

“Shh,” Kathleen winced. “I was going to tell Lucas before before I leave… because I’m an idiot who’s looking to get fired,” she finished her thought with another roll of her eyes.

“I’ll find Lucas,” Bobby’s face was still a mix of shock and disbelief. “Why would she do that?”

Kathleen sighed.

“When I asked her that, she almost laughed,” she threw her hair over her shoulder and strengthened her shirt. “Anyway, I’ve got to go. Oh, and about your request,” she turned to Bobby already in the doorway. “Everything’s done and will be delivered tomorrow.”

His face broke into a smile. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Kathleen chuckled. “None of you ungrateful morons do.”

Bobby trailed a little behind before following the producer, news finally sinking in. All the girls came from their trip in a mellow mood, and he barely had any time to spend with Kisa between saving the dinner from going into the trash bin and calming Noah and Johnny down. Had she decided to leave when the girls were away?

With his hand tangled in his dreads, he pushed the roof terrace door open, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as he saw Lucas sitting on the bench.

Bobby flopped down next to him, and the physio looked up, his eyes dry and tired.

“Hey,” the dark-haired man said lifelessly, and Bobby’s heart shrunk at the way Lucas’s voice reminded him of an echo inside an empty room.

Biting the inner side of his cheek not to ask how he was doing, the baker focused on the task at hand.

“Kisa asked Kathleen to talk to the producers and let her go.”

“Go where?” Lucas shrugged emotionlessly.

“Home,” Bobby grabbed his friend’s shoulders and shook him roughly. “Focus. She wants to leave the show.”

Slowly, it sunk in, and the dark-brown eyes inflamed.

“I told you it was the time for you to tell her how you feel – or let her go. Now, literally. After what happened between you and Amanda…”

“Nothing happened and you know it!” Lucas snapped angrily, jumping to his feet. “You saw it with your eyes!”

He still couldn't believe Amanda did that. She cornered him in the living room where he was trying to come up with the right words to say to Kisa to make her believe that she was the only woman he ever trusted. He sat there waiting for when she leaves the Beach Hut, and Amanda found him and asked for a chat. And after he told her he'd rather swim back home with a papercut across his nipple than ever get involved with her, she still did that. She kissed him, and for a second, he stood there, stunned.

“I saw the kiss,” Bobby frowned. “And then you shot out of there like a cork out of a champagne bottle.”

Lucas bent over and grabbed Bobby’s shoulders roughly, his eyes ablaze and lips twisted in disgust.

“Are you saying…”

“I’m saying that you should’ve told Kisa straight away that the bitch shoved her tongue down your throat out of nowhere. And now…”

“Do you think…” Lucas’s voice almost broke, and his body deflated like a party balloon exhausted of air. “She told her? Is that why she’s leaving?”

If he could, he would’ve just ripped the past two days out of his memory and threw it into a bin, poured gasoline all over it, and stroked a match. Seeing her from the distance was almost unbearable, it was even worse than watching her being all over that DJ. At least, back then, he knew she still wanted him – but not anymore.

He’s never seen her as calm and collected, as if her decision to break up with him finally brought her peace back, as if it set her free from her feelings for him, and just the thought of it was enough to send the man into a pit of despair.

“Even if she hadn’t, Kisa’s bound to find out,” Bobby watched his friend as the older guy paced back and forth.

Lucas nodded absentmindedly, his eyes staring into the space. Before he met her, he existed in some sort of slumber, stuck in the rut with his job and nightly drinks with his only friend. His life seemed like a haze, and he could feel it wearing him off with each new day, month, year. How long had it been since he felt something besides boredom while speaking to a woman? How long had it been since he felt _anything_ at all?

He chose it for himself, and he’s been sticking it through, but was this shadow of freedom worth it? Was sleeping alone in his bed what he really wanted? Or was he just a fucking coward who’s been running from himself and was ruining probably the only chance to find his happiness?

He drew his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment as he thought of Kisa’s evergreen eyes, sparkling like gemstones as she looked at him that early sun-filled morning on the day he and Henrik entered the Villa. She was the only girl he was interested in from watching the show, but he couldn’t imagine what that interest was going to turn into.

Lucas closed his eyes for a moment as his memory took him four weeks back, to when he got into a row with that ridiculous smoothie-guy. It was in his nature to put an asshole back into his place, but that wasn’t the reason why he almost introduced Rocco’s face to his fist. Something inside of him just burned with a roaring fire whenever that prick made comments about Kisa, and it wasn’t just about Rocco.

He was willing to jump at anyone’s throat for her and kept convincing himself that it’s just his suddenly awakened inner gentleman that pushed him to defend the lady’s honor. _A coward, too scared to admit that it took just a single glance from her to turn his world upside down._

Bobby watched him in silence only broken by accidental splashes of water in the pool or voices of other islanders as they moved towards the kitchen for lunch.

More than anything, he wished his friends to work through their issues, which seemed so big to them but were so little in Bobby’s eyes. Maybe they weren’t ready to have kids and a joint retirement plan, but what did it matter if they wanted to have each other in their lives? What did it matter if they were willing to fight for their happy ending?

Bobby almost chuckled as he remembered what Priya told him when he vocalized his thoughts to her the other day.

“You poor, naïve little bastard,” the girl shook her head, running her fingers across his jawline. [“Sometimes, fighting isn’t enough.”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24031060/chapters/57820411)

“Sit down,” Bobby sighed and patted the space next to him.

Lucas jerked out of his trance and joined Bobby on the bench, forgetting to make a ‘yes, sir’ joke, his mind still overwhelmed with the thoughts about Kisa.

“What’s holding you back?” the baker asked softly. “You love her, she loves you. What’s the big obstacle on your character arc?”

“I am,” the older man growled. “I am that fucking obstacle!”

He turned to Bobby, his eyes sparkling feverishly with anger and unshed feelings that were overflowing him, his face twisted in pain. He was so scared, almost petrified with fear that he will get used to having her and then he’ll ruin everything with his own hands.

His entire body was paralyzed with this horror of losing her later, after he truly knows what _having_ her was like… His thoughts were twisting and turning and colliding inside of his head, and the man wasn’t sure what exactly he was saying – or thinking – anymore.

Lottie’s loud yelp echoed through the Villa, making both men jerk in surprise.

“The girls are back!”

“Perfect,” Lucas’s face turned into a mask, but he didn’t move an inch.

He wanted to, but every part of his body became so heavy he couldn’t even lift his hand. How he was supposed to ask her to stay if he couldn’t even convince his own body to go and find her?

Bobby’s phone beeped in the pocket of his shorts, and two men stared at each other in ominous silence.

“We should go downstairs,” the baker said finally, not even bothering to look at the message.

Lucas pulled himself up, and they walked next to each other until they were outside. Everyone else was scattered around the lawn, enjoying a lazy afternoon before they had to head inside to get dressed for the evening.

“I got a text,” Bobby waved his hand.

“And here I thought you’re here because you’ve been missing me all these long hours,” Priya chuckled, pushing off the kitchen counter and walking towards him with Kisa in tow.

The green-eyed girl looked calm and collected, almost indifferent as she stopped a few steps from Lucas, her eyes gliding over him apathetically.

“So, what is it?” Lottie wondered.

“Islanders! Please, get dressed and proceed to the firepit for an announcement… and the final recoupling.”

Bobby’s heart dropped as he read the last words and looked up, meeting Lucas’ dead stare in heavy silence. 


	41. All I Need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...Lying to myself I can make it on my own  
> Making it alone is lonely  
> Twisting and I'm turning  
> Oh I'm crashing and I'm burning  
> So reach out your hand to me..."
> 
> [Rescue My Heart - Liz Longley]

Kisa stood alone next to the firepit, watching the hot tongues of fire dance under the light gusts of summer breeze. She changed into a long-sleeved red silk dress with a low cut and a thigh-slit, the outfit was supposed to give her strength to go through with her decision, despite the reactions she was going to get.

She took a deep breath of charcoal-smelling air and moved around to sit on the bench, ignoring cold, tingling sensations spreading over her skin. She had no idea where this cold calmness came from, it seemed that her heart got stuck in the middle of an ice cube, and all her feelings were now frozen inside of it.

Kathleen strode over to her, and Kisa’s stomach made a backflip. The other girl gave her a long, studying look, sighing, and beckoned her towards a small, secluded bench.

“Wait here until everyone else is downstairs, you’ll get a text and…”

“Yeah, I know the drill,” Kisa nodded. “Thank you. For this, for helping Bobby… just thank you.”

The other girl sent a short glance her way but only smiled. “Whatever happens next, it’s not the last we’ve seen of each other.”

Kathleen left her alone, again, and the musician slumped onto the bench, propping her chin against her hand as she watched other islanders make their way toward the firepit, one by one or in small groups. Priya and Bobby kept looking around as if trying to find someone, and Kisa’s eyes prickled with tears.

It was so ridiculous, to cry just because she was leaving. They were going to meet all the time, Manchester wasn’t on another planet – and even if the couple decides to settle down in Glasgow which Kisa doubted, it was just an hour and a half flight away.

She brushed away the tears and cocked her head, straightening her posture. She had to leave, she had to start picking up the pieces of her ridiculous heart, no matter how much she wanted to stay, to no matter how much she didn’t want to leave _him._

A small, sad smile curled her lips as Kisa noticed Lucas walking out of the building. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him, trying to remember every movement of his body, every little expression of his face, every tiny detail that was going to be imprinted on her mind from that moment and until she dies. Somehow, she couldn’t remember any of their fights anymore, couldn’t even remember _why_ she was fighting him in the first place.

All she could think of was their first date when he brought her one long-stem red rose, shrugging off her surprise. And their second date inside the old temple, and the way it was so easy for her to open up to him about things that she could barely speak of even with her best friend. She thought about all the times he took her side – _every_ time, whenever she needed him, he was there, without her asking. Her own dark knight that she kept pushing away for reasons she couldn’t remember anymore.

She slowly ran her long, nervous fingers through the thick strands of her hair. It didn’t matter now, they had their shot, they played, and they lost.

Kisa’s phone went alive, and she got to her feet, fixing the airy layers of the fabric cascading down her body. Hesitantly, she took a step forward as if to make sure she was capable of walking. Her stiletto heels clicked ominously on the decking as she moved downstairs, and her eyes fell on the people gathered around the firepit, all sitting in their couples, waiting for her in tense silence.

“What’s going on?” Chelsea whispered loudly as everyone watched Kisa approach.

“So, we’ve been waiting for her?” Amanda rolled her eyes from the spot next to Johnny. “Move faster, sweet…”

“Shut the fuck up already!” Lottie couldn’t hold herself back anymore. “Every time you open up your mouth, it makes everyone gag.”

“As if you are to speak,” the other blonde seemed to be unfazed by the insult. “Poor little Lottie, never anyone’s choice.”

“Excuse you,” Johnny interrupted. “She _is_ , unlike you.”

Bobby sent a glance at Lucas who just sat there with his jaw clenched and then turned to those arguing.

“Can you all shut up, please?” he asked almost courteously. “This isn’t time for bickering.”

Lucas snapped his eyes at the sound of approaching footsteps, ignoring the argument. Kisa reached the firepit and now stood calmly in its light that was playing on her skin, creating a soft glow around her body. She looked… breathtaking. Beautiful, gorgeous, stunning – these words weren’t enough to describe the way the scarlet-red fabric hugged the curves of her figure, blowing gently under the evening breeze.

She stood there wordlessly, waiting for everyone to stop fighting, and he just kept staring at her, unable to blink, unable to take his eyes off of her. Her features softened just a bit when she finally allowed herself to meet his gaze, drowning in the warmth of his dark-chocolate eyes. How beautiful he was, in his simple white shirt and black pants, with his hair messed and his lips thinned into a narrow line.

Kisa looked at the man almost mindlessly, just taking in as much of him as she could before she loses him forever, and he saw it in her eyes, he saw the unsaid goodbye, and it made his insights twist and turn.

He had no track of how long they’ve been just looking at each other while everyone else was too busy arguing, until Noah’s phone beeped loudly, making the islanders go silent. Priya’s surprised glance fell on Kisa and then darted towards Lucas, as she tried to make sense of whatever was going on.

“Before the recoupling, one of your fellow islanders has an announcement to make,” Noah read the text calmly, as he was the only person besides Lucas who did not participate in the quarrel.

“What are you…” Priya stopped herself half-word, her eyes widening in realization. “No. You’re not.”

Kisa raised her hand slightly, but her eyes were still glued to Lucas until she finally gave him a small, sad smile that wrenched his heart and turned to face the others.

“I’ll keep it short,” her voice was strangely calm when she spoke.

“Yes,” Lucas suddenly stood up. “Very short.”

He took a step forward, parting himself from the others but not getting too close to Kisa, as if afraid to scare her off.

“In fact, you’re not saying anything at all,” his eyes burned into her, and for a moment, she felt compelled to stay silent. “You’ve been the only one who’s been talking for too long, now is my turn.”

His breath got caught in his throat, the warmth of the fire in the pit now seemed to be burning hot on his already flushed skin when Lucas took another step towards the girl. The words he needed to say were so heavy, they made his movements stiff, weighing down on him, turning his legs into two iron columns.

Her large green eyes looked at him, and he focused on them, asking her silently to guide him through this, to stay there until he manages to find the strength to _speak_. Through the lump in his throat, through the fear in his mind, through the distance between them - she was the only one that could chase away the agony that’s been burning his body down all this time.

His thoughts were all messed and tangled, like threads of wool in a red web on the crime board, connecting places with people, and he barely knew what he was going to say, his confidence shattered the moment he opened his mouth.

She saw his struggles written all over the man’s face and part of her wanted to step closer, touch his knotted brows, bring him comfort – but she couldn’t. If she lets herself get any closer, she won’t be able to leave, and it will break her heart. So she stood there, on the edge, wishing she could just go, wishing there was enough strength in her to stop this torture of being so close to him but feeling ten thousand miles apart.

He was dying to catch his breath, the last step before the abyss was the hardest to make.

Kisa lowered her gaze, a small sigh escaping her lips, and the look on her face kicked the ground from beneath him, enough to throw him over the edge.

“Look at me,” he asked softly, and she slowly looked up, locking their eyes yet again, and a thrill of electricity rushed through her at the sudden wave of emotions radiated from the man, covering her entire being.

She shuddered under the stare of his blazing eyes, feeling it burn on her skin, almost setting her on fire – and yet, bringing some strange comfort.

“I’m not going to let you go,” he finally found his words now that there was no way back. They poured out of him freely, his body finally free from the chains of fear that have been binding him for so long.

“I won’t ever let you leave, and if you ever do, I will always follow no matter where to, I will never leave you alone. I’ll be haunting you forever, nothing in the world can stop me from being wherever you are, nothing can stop me from _you_.”

He wished to touch her but had to keep his distance, giving Kisa time to realize what exactly he was saying, even though he barely understood it himself. If only he could rip his chest open and show her what was happening inside of it, she would know how he felt, she would know that she changed him, she changed everything, she made him someone he was always scared but always wanted to be.

She made him hers, and there was no turning back, no way out: whether she wanted or not, he was going to always belong to her, alive and dead, he was going to be hers even lying in his grave.

He held her gaze for so long they both felt their eyes prickle with burning tears as neither of them was able to turn away. Kisa wished she could run her fingertips gently over his lashes, to brush the tears out of his beautiful eyes. His words still echoed in her head, but she barely understood them, his voice, and his glance alone almost enough to break her will.

“You asked me if I’ll ever be able to trust you,” he continued finally, his voice deep and filled with the dark power of his words. “This is your answer. You’ve made my heart a better place when I wasn’t sure I had one, and from now on, it will only beat for you.”

He gulped the last ragged breath, his eyes almost pleading when his words hung in the silence between them, his heart hammering inside the ribcage so loud it almost deafened the man.

“Take it, because it’s yours.”

A million lights exploded in his head when she flung herself into his arms, covering his face with a million kisses, leaving him breathless and blind, feeling nothing but her shaking body under his hands and her hot lips finally covering his. The entire universe just collapsed around him and then snapped back together, perfectly, ripping him out from the Villa, away from everyone else, somewhere only two of them existed.

His senses came back with a wave of her scent filling up his lungs, with the hotness of her fingers caressing his neck, with the loud beating of her heart against his chest, with the peppermint taste of her kiss.

Nothing else existed anymore but the woman that managed to wake up his heart that he never believed was capable of love this strong it almost broke him – so strong, it brought him up so high, he was floating above the Earth, between the stars and constellations, his entire life changed by just one kiss.

Kisa could barely breathe but kept holding onto the man in her arms, scared to wake up and find out it’s been only a cruel dream. He was all she could feel, he took over her entire existence, and she was terrified to open her eyes and realize that it never happened, terrified to wake up into a nightmare of not having him.

With her hands still stuck in his hair, she pulled away slightly, panting and gulping for air, and the reality came crushing on her. He was still there, still hers, still holding her so tightly his fingers were bound to leave bruises on her pale skin. He was there, just as starstruck, in awe of her.

“You fucking idiot,” she whispered brokenly, tears flowing down her face. “Had to wait until the last moment?”

He laughed almost hysterically, feeling the tension leave his body, finally capable of seeing something besides her. A second passed, and Bobby jumped onto him, almost knocking the older man off his feet, ripping him from Kisa who got wrapped into Priya’s arms.

“You both are fucking idiots,” the older girl sobbed into her friend’s hair. “ _This_ just took ten years out of my life, you can be sure of that.”

Kisa laughed into Priya’s neck, holding onto her tightly for a moment before Bobby picked her up unceremoniously, somehow managing not to stumble into the firepit as he spun around himself with Kisa in his embrace.

“This is very cute,” Amanda’s voice cut through their cheerfulness. “But can we move on before I throw up?”

“Don’t,” Kisa shook her head at Priya and turned to the blonde, studying her for a moment. “How miserable you must be.”

She said it matter-of-factly, no emotion in her voice and turned to everyone else.

“I guess, that was the big announcement. Time for the recoupling.”

Lottie’s phone beeped. “Indeed,” she and other girls moved to stay across the firepit from the boys, and she stood next to Kisa.

After a moment of hesitation, the witch outstretched her hand towards the other girl.

“I’m Lottie,” she offered a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Kisa’s eyes widened for a moment before she accepted the handshake.

“Kisa,” she tugged at the blonde’s hand, pulling her into a slightly awkward embrace.

“Girls,” Bobby sobbed from where he and Lucas sat, and his eyes darted to Priya.

“What? I’m not having a memory loss attack,” she rolled her eyes but wrapped her arms around both of the girls. “Now, the recoupling.”

“Em, I’m not sure I can beat that speech,” Lucas cackled, beckoning Kisa over. “Just come here already.”

Hesitantly, she took a step towards him, ready for one of the producers to pop out of nowhere to stop her. One step turned into two and three, and then she stood before him, her eyes glimmering in the light of fire and thousands of fairy lights.

“I guess, they decided I’ve suffered enough,” he pulled her closer.

She kissed him, and everything else lost its meaning. Nothing else mattered but her lips on his and her hands sliding up his arms and coiling around his neck, calming down his racing thoughts and thumping heart, bringing Lucas the peace he didn’t know was possible.

The recoupling, Bobby’s speech for Priya, Amanda’s snarky comments, Lottie’s happy smile when Johnny said her name – everything turned into white noise as he sat next to Kisa, the warmth that emanated from her body cradling him in its embrace. He applauded to other couples, smiled at Bobby’s jokes, hugged Lottie when she flopped next to Kisa, but he was far from there, floating between the clouds, serotonin overflowing him.

“Uh-oh,” Bobby frowned next to him, and Lucas finally managed to bring some of his attention back to the firepit.

Noah was the last to choose, Amanda and Chelsea stood before him, as far from each other as possible.

“It was a strange road to get here…”

“You don’t say,” Lottie huffed under the breath, glancing at Bobby who gave her ‘I told you’ glare.

“What’s with the looks?” Kisa whispered, nudging the baker as she bent over Lucas’s thighs.

“Bobby’s convinced Noah’s here for some mysterious reason,” Priya rolled his eyes. “Apparently, he shared his little conspiracy theory with Lottie, too.”

“It’s not a conspiracy,” Bobby tutted. “Why else would he stay here for so long if someone wasn’t _keeping_ him here?”

“… and that’s why I’m choosing this girl,” the librarian’s voice cut through their whisper. “Amanda.”

“I fucking knew!” Lottie shot up from her place before Johnny could’ve caught her. “So, you’re just gonna mug Chels the way you mugged Hope and that Casa girl you promised to bring back and then bailed out?!”

Shannon walked over to the petite girl and wrapped her into a warm embrace as everyone else surrounded Noah and Amanda, and the new round of squabbling began.

Lucas turned to Kisa with a smirk. “I think, they’ll be good without us.”

“Our voices in the choir would be excessive,” her eyes sparkled as she ran her finger across his jawline. “But what do we do then?”

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and Lucas’s grin grew wider, making the girl’s stomach flutter with butterflies. “I think I know exactly what and where we’ll be doing tonight.”


	42. Heart full of Stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “... cause you were all i ever wanted  
> rhythm in my blood  
> if this is a dream don't wake me up  
> please don't stop...”
> 
> [Electricity - Flora Cash]

He woke up where he belonged.

Lucas stirred in the bed, and Kisa’s arm wrapped tighter around his waist as she unconsciously moved even closer, pressing her nose against the warm skin of his shoulder. He narrowed his eyes at her, a content sigh almost ready to leave his mouth as the man ran his fingers carefully over her arm, barely touching his sleeping beauty.

The man rolled his eyes at his own thoughts, but a small smile never left his lips. He kept caressing her delicately, her skin so soft under his touch, like silk that she loved to wear, like the most expensive, most beautiful velvet, so warm it was enough for both of them. Kisa sighed in her sleep, and Lucas moved closer, resting his cheek against the top of her head.

The night before – and he would never say it out loud or he’d die of cringe – was magical. So different from any other night they’ve spent together, so different from all the nights in his life, it was almost frightening. _Almost_. With her, nothing could scare him anymore, not even his own feelings that were overflowing him, and he felt like drowning in them.

His memory drew pictures before his closed eyelids, pictures of them, in this room, just hours ago, still almost high on adrenaline and emotions.

“So original,” Kisa stepped into the Hideaway, looking around. “Candles, rose petals, champagne… as if we’re on some cheap reality-tv.”

Lucas sniggered behind her back, his hands resting on the girl’s sides, and his hot breath made her skin erupt into goosebumps.

“I could do with a drink,” he noted, and they walked towards a small table in the corner.

He sat her down on a chair and busied himself with the champagne, throwing quick glances at Kisa. The folds of her dress splayed over the seat, revealing her long, perfect legs that she stretched and crossed at the ankles. He poured the drinks into two flutes and put one glass before the girl, bending over to grab her legs at the same moment. He rested her feet on his thighs, and she gave him a tiny smirk, looking at the man over the rim of her glass.

“Can’t keep your hands off of me for five minutes?” she raised an eyebrow ever so slightly, the irony in her voice almost sweet.

“You’re very touchable,” Lucas grinned, saluting her with his glass.

“What?” she leaned closer. “No pompous speech about how lucky I am to put a collar on that stud?”

Lucas sputtered, coughing as he got champagne down the wrong way. He stared back at the girl who was barely holding back laughter. “Didn’t know you were into _that_ kind of thing,” his voice was slightly raspy.

“You’ve got no idea, baby boy,” she smirked at the way his face cringed. “I told I’d pay you back.”

With a sharp, forceful movement, he threw his arm forwards, gripping on the side of Kisa’s chair and pulling it closer, making the girl almost stumble off of it in surprise. Her legs fell open, her inner thighs pressed into his, her glass rolling over the soft carpet.

“You were saying?” his voice dropped lower at the sight of her suddenly widened eyes and hitched breath.

He moved his hands to trace up her legs to her bare thighs, her burning-hot skin under his fingertips sending small thrills of electricity through his body. With the lingering glance of her dark-green eyes, the girl leaned closer to Lucas, her dress revealing more of her skin with the movement. He swallowed hard, and she chuckled at the way his eyes darted downwards for a short moment.

She dragged her hand lazily down the man’s chest, over his stomach, until she hooked two fingers into the waistband of his pants, pulling him closer, her body slipping to the very edge of her chair. With his knees between her spread legs, Lucas tipped forward, ghosting his breath on Kisa’s skin as his lips left a path of kisses along her collarbone and moved up her neck, nipping on the skin lightly while his hands hooked around her waist, bringing the girl onto his lap.

Her body heat burned him even through clothes, evoking a low, impatient growl out of the back of his throat as he pressed her tighter against his chest.

He always thought that everyone lied to him, that he couldn’t trust anyone but himself – but she was there, in his arms, her body trembling against his as she covered his face with dozens of feathery-light kisses, and he knew that she wouldn’t lie to him, that he could trust her, that in her hands, his heart was safe. _He_ was safe.

Carefully, almost reverently, he picked her up and carried towards the bed, blowing out the candles on the way, letting the room fall into darkness when the last flame went out.

He wished they were somewhere else, in a little hotel in the rocky hills of Santorini, in a bed under the sky, where no one could see them, but they could see the entire island spread under their feet. He wished he could give her the entire world, only the best things were good enough for her, not this cheap sheet set in a tiny room that smelled of body spray and candle smoke.

He laid her down, stopping to take in the sight of her body draped in red silk, before leaning closer, hovering above the girl in almost sacred awe, his eyes suddenly seeing what his heart saw on the first morning in the Villa. Or maybe, that time he first saw her on TV and his breath got caught in his mouth for a split of a moment that he never noticed.

Kisa watched him quietly, her hands gently caressing the muscles of his arms as he looked at her, his dark eyes warm like melted chocolate. With a trembling hand, he reached to touch her face, his body following his mind to the other side.

He was wrong for her, but she craved him more than anything, more than air or water, more than anything in the world, always. She got caught in the rain and couldn’t care if she gets sick. Her feelings for him were too much to keep inside of her body, and she let it burst out of her as she finally weaved her arms around the man’s neck and pulled him in, crashing their lips together, letting her kisses tell him what her heart was screaming.

At that moment, her wild eyes were the only thing he could see, her fervent touch the only thing he felt, and Lucas knew there won’t be a day in his life when he’d forgotten the first time she belonged to him, truly, completely, irrevocably. The first time she was _his_.

Kisa woke up in his embrace, and her still lidded with sleep eyes fell on his thoughtful face. He was somewhere else but at the same time, he was fully there, with her, finally _hers_ , and she kept still, drinking him in, her arm slowly rising and falling along with his stomach. He looked so peaceful, she wondered what he could be thinking about while her own thought drifted back to last night and the way his body fit hers perfectly, as if it’s been carved to complete her.

He loved her, she felt it that night. He loved her and didn’t even know what he’s been doing to her. She’d pulled away if she could, but it was too good. She tried to let him go, but the ecstasy was too strong, too overpowering to keep fighting it, so she stopped. And now she’s been coming full circle, everything that was before finally making sense, all the heartbreak, pain, everything that led her into his arms.

Lucas noticed that she was finally awake but didn’t rush to pull the girl out of her dreamy haze, wondering lazily what she was thinking about. Her stubborn jawline softened, her eyes were filled with gentle warmth and her quiet heartbeat against his side brought him peace he never knew was possible. He didn’t know so much until he met her, it seemed like he’d barely lived before her.

His fingers unconsciously started stroking her hair, and Kisa looked up, her face unusually soft. “You’re not being creepy at all,” a tiny smile curled her lips upwards.

“You’re a perfect stalker target,” Lucas rolled onto his side and propped his head against his hand, inspired. “I can just see how someone gets obsessed with you, creeping on your social media, and writing poems for you…”

She stared at the man with her eyebrows so up high as if they were trying to fly into the cosmos. Before he could continue, she flew her hand to his face and pressed it against Lucas’ mouth, muffling out his protests. Smirking, she pushed him on his back and threw her leg over his body, settling on his stomach and pulling a duvet over both of them.

“I think I’d stalked you if I saw you walking down the street,” her voice went lower as she shifted down his body, brushing against his hardening cock.

“I’d followed you home,” she leaned over to press hot open-mouth kisses to his neck, tracing her tongue over a yellow and blue bruise she left him a few hours ago. “I’d slipped inside your house,” her free hand slithered inside his briefs, and he let out a low groan when her fingers wrapped around him, stroking firmly as she continued kissing his chest, moving slowly up to his ear.

She pushed his underwear down his thighs, and he bucked his hips up to help her, pressing himself against her hot wetness. He gripped at her hips, but Kisa only pressed her hand harder against his mouth, shaking her head ‘no’. He flicked his tongue against her palm, and a thrill of electricity shocked through her going straight to her core, almost making her give up and sink herself down onto the man that same moment. She curled her lips into a smirk and raised an eyebrow slightly, almost in amusement.

“If you insist,” she pressed on his lips making his jaw drop, and pushed three of his fingers inside his mouth, the man almost gagging in surprise.

His hot tongue moved over the sensitive skin of her fingertips, his eyes burned into her, and she couldn’t remember why she wanted to keep teasing him. Everything inside of her was burning with the need to feel him inside, and she sighed in defeat, lowering herself onto him, drawing raspy moans out of both of them.

She was so hot around him, her body fitting his perfectly, Lucas’s mind went into overdrive. With a forceful movement, he flipped their positions, pulling a duvet over their bodies irritably.

“Fucking hate this,” he growled into Kisa’s neck, and she clutched the corners of the duvet, pressing her hands into the mattress.

“Better now?” she kissed his shoulder sloppily.

His hands moved to grab her hips, and he lost himself, inside of her. She wrapped her legs tighter around him, bringing their bodies even closer, trying to become one, finally letting go of everything that’s been holding her back and letting him lead her.

His lips found her mouth, catching her moans with kisses. Lucas could barely hold back a wave of pleasure spreading through his body. His hand moved between their bodies to circle her clit as his teeth sunk into the crook of her neck, and she shuddered beneath him, falling into million pieces, her neck burning where his mark appeared. She almost cried, clenching around him, and the man growled, following her, collapsing onto her unable to hold his own weight.

She wrapped her arms around him, his body still caught in aftershocks, and the smell of her skin filled his lungs to the brim. She was everywhere, so deep inside him, yet, not close enough. Panting, he rolled off of the girl and pulled her closer, wordlessly, and Kisa chuckled softly.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she smirked at him. “Just glad to find out a way to shut you up.”

Lucas rolled his eyes, running his fingers up her thigh and squinting in the suddenly bright sun lighting up the room. “I guess it's our cue to join the circus.”

“I’ll tell Bobby you called him a clown,” Kisa pulled his shirt down and sat up on the bed. Lucas’s gaze lingered on her body that looked so hot in his shirt he could watch her move about the room forever.

“If Bobby’s a clown,” Lucas frowned in mocked concentration. “What does it make Priya?”

Kisa barely held back a bark of laughter, throwing a fistful of rose petals into his face.

“I guess sex only shuts you up for a limited amount of time,” she rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide a smile.

They left the Hideaway and went upstairs, other islanders’ loud cheerful voices coming from the open kitchen.

“Shower?” Lucas raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“Yes,” Kisa let him into the stall and turned the taps on. “But keep your paws off of me.”

She felt his presence with every cell of her body. She turned around to face him, and her face flushed at the way he looked at her, so ravenously, like a starving wild animal. His gaze made her knees go weak, and she pressed her back against the wall, searching for purchase on something.

Lucas stared at her through the streams of running water, and she just nodded, unable to even speak. His body collapsed into her the same moment, his strong hands pushing the girl up the wall until he had her pinned into it with his chest. Kisa wrapped her legs around him, and the man pushed himself inside of her, capturing her mouth in a deep, almost painful kiss. He thrust into her hastily, as if running out of time, and she moaned loudly, allowing herself to show how much she needed him.

His arms wrapped around her to protect her back from hitting the wall, his movements becoming faster and harder, water pouring onto them, stinging their eyes and making it almost impossible to breathe – but neither of them noticed, consumed with each other.

“Fuck,” Lucas’s voice seemed to be coming from afar, bursting through the sound of blood rushing through her head, and Kisa just dug her nails deeper into his back, making his body shudder.

His climax was enough to send her over the edge, too, and she caught his head between her palms, kissing him almost forcefully, her teeth drawing blood. Lucas’s heart hammered inside his chest heavily, his vision blurred and arms shaking.

Kisa slipped gracefully onto the shower floor and cocked her head at him.

“No self-control at all.”

He tried to roll his eyes, but his body refused to cooperate, and he just huffed. “It’s like looking in a mirror, isn’t it?”

“Smartass,” she shoved him away and grabbed a bottle of shampoo, trying to ignore his stare on her back. But it was impossible. His gaze made her skin erupt in goosebumps and sent jolts of electricity through her body.

Losing her cool, she spun on her heels. “If you keep staring, you’ll burn a hole, and the purchase will become non-returnable.”

Her words hung between them for a moment before Lucas took a step towards her, his arms wrapping around her waist and bringing her closer.

“I buy for life.”

With his words still echoing in Kisa’s head, they finally made their way downstairs where everyone else was finishing breakfast. A loud wolf whistle made them both roll their eyes at Lottie who patted a free chair next to her.

“Good morning, lovers,” the blonde gave Lucas a grin and looked up at Kisa. “Sleep well?”

Bobby chuckled under his breath from the seat across the counter and hurried to cover it with a cough.

“Just ignore them,” Johnny put a French toast on Lucas’ plate.

“Like I do most of the times,” Priya tilted her head when Kisa wrapped her arms around her, resting her chin on the older girl’s shoulder. “What’s up with the service?” she nudged Bobby. “Feed the girl.”

“I was hoping _you’d_ do that,” Kisa smirked at her friend, and Priya’s lips curled into a grin.

Slowly, the older girl dipped one of the strawberries into a bawl of cream and brought it to Kisa’s mouth, dragging it lightly over her bottom lip before letting her take a bite.

“We’re still here,” Bobby noted after a few moments of watching them with a sigh of fake exasperation.

“You can feed your boyfriend, I don’t mind,” Priya glanced at Lucas, sending them all into a small fit of giggles.

“Oh, and I will,” the baker jumped off his seat and confidently walked over the counter to where the physio sat.

Lucas only rolled his eyes when his friend’s arm flopped over his shoulders heavily, and Bobby’s hip pressed into his side.

“This isn’t weird at all,” Johnny commented, and Lottie ruffled his hair.

“I barely notice anymore,” the witch smirked, watching Bobby as he reached for one of the apple slices and dipped it into spiced honey when Lucas’s phone beeped.

“I guess no weird feedings for me,” he frowned, staring at the screen. “Bobby, please.”

Bobby’s eyes widened: “Learned from your girl?”

“Shut up.”

“So shut up or scream?”

Priya threw a strawberry at them and yelped: “Guys, a text!” she looked at the men. “Problem solved.”

They waited for everyone to gather around, and Lucas finally read the message, a line cutting through his forehead.

“Islanders! It’s time to put your couples to the test of domestic life. Get ready to leave the Villa in twenty minutes.”

Gary frowned. “Domestic life? What does that mean?”

Amanda smirked and turned to face Kisa and Priya who were still wrapped in each other’s arms, her voice dripping with poison as she spoke.

“It means that you lot are bound to finally find out how incompatible your cute little couples are.”


	43. Runaway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Every time I fall in love  
> I go and fuck it up right when it gets good  
> Don't you think it's funny?”
> 
> [Runaway - Sasha Sloan]

“Where are we going?” Kisa climbed inside the Jeep and gave Tim a worried look. “I know that you know.”

Lucas took his seat next to her, thought about how easily she makes mates floating on the back of his mind. He never noticed it before yesterday when Bobby found him and told him she decided to leave, and that one of the producers risked her job by talking to the baker before she had a chance to speak to her supervisor – for Kisa. But now, he realized that she wasn’t as unapproachable as it might’ve looked based on the drama that people kept creating around her… Lucas shook his head, shrugging off pointless thoughts.

“I know that you know that I know,” the driver started the engine. “But we’ll get there in ten minutes.”

Kisa let out a long sigh, and Tim chuckled. “What did the message say?”

“Time to put your couples to a test of domestic life,” Lucas remembered. “If it’s doing laundry and cooking, we’re doomed.”

The girl frowned at him.

“Speak for yourself, it’s you who almost set this place on fire.”

“Who knew just a few little drops of oil would do that!” candid bewilderment in the man’s voice made Kisa laugh, forgetting about her worries.

Her face lit up with a smile, and Lucas felt a stinging pang of guilt in his chest for being the reason she rarely ever smiled anymore, not even with Bobby. He threw an arm over her shoulders and pulled the girl closer, and she quirked an eyebrow at this sudden affection. She didn’t say anything, only allowed her body to sink further in his embrace, suddenly not caring about anything but the scent of patchouli and sandalwood filling up her lungs.

The car drove through the little narrowed roads, taking them away from the Villa, away from all the drama and bad memories, and Kisa wished there was a way for them not to go back. Just leave that place forever and pretend that it never happened, and they’ve met at one of the bars in Oxford, just like Lucas once suggested.

“Which bar it was?” she asked almost unconsciously as her mind traveled back to the conversation they had at the roof terrace.

“Bar?”

“Where we met,” she explained, and Lucas chuckled.

“The Alchemist, obviously,” the man ran his fingers up her neck and pulled lightly on her hair, making the girl look up at him. “It’s the best place for drinks in Oxford.”

“Angel’s is the best,” she retorted immediately, a stubborn glimmer in her eyes.

“Once I take you there, you won’t be saying such nonsense anymore,” his other hand took hold of her chin, and she felt her breath hitch at the look in his dark eyes.

“Once _I_ take to Angel’s, you… probably won’t stop saying nonsense, since it’s your native language.”

Lucas stared at her in amusement before he finally gave in and laughed. In his amusement, she found a strange relief, as if his laughter was enough to lift up her worries and throw them far away. She still couldn’t figure this man out, and the mystery of him always lit up a fire in the pit of her stomach, turning her into a hunter, determined to get to their prey and slice it open.

“You’re staring, _sweetheart_ ,” Lucas whispered lowly, his honey voice bringing goosebumps to her skin.

“You have something against it?” she snapped back, arching an eyebrow at the man. “And haven’t I told you to never call me that?”

“My memory’s been quite blurry recently,” he smirked, pressing his thigh against her, and even through two layers of fabric, she felt his body heat burning on her skin.

“Let me refresh it, then,” Kisa hissed. “Never call me that.”

He cocked his head, sneer in his eyes.

“Make me.”

The car came to a stop before she could’ve said anything, and Tim announced that they were on the spot. Lucas helped Kisa to climb out of the Jeep, and they both looked up at a small whitewashed house drowning in the orange trees, both thinking about how it would’ve been to live there, just the two of them, until the end of times.

For a long moment, they just stood there under the bright sun, inhaling the fresh citrus scent, not noticing their bodies were pressed into each other. It felt so peaceful out there as if time had stopped on that piece of land. Silence fell over them, only disturbed by the rustle of leaves and the distant birdsong.

Her phone beeped, and Kisa almost shuddered at the sharp sound. She read the message out loud, ignoring the cameraman creeping nearby, and looked up at the physio whose expression mirrored her.

“So, we’re supposed to pretend to be a married couple for the next six hours?”

They walked towards the building; the magic of the moment broken by the ridiculousness of the new challenge. As they got inside, Lucas ripped the piece of paper off the fridge and read the list, his eyes rolling back into his head more and more as the list went on.

“Correction: a very old married couple who doesn’t know about Viagra.”

Kisa chuckled, snatching the list from his fingers.

“Are we really supposed to do someone’s laundry and dishes?” she pointed at the stacks of plates in the kitchen sink.

“And cook lunch, don’t forget about that,” the man’s face darkened.

“Well, then it’s decided. You’re on lunch duty. When this place is on fire, no one’s gonna remember about dirty sheets.”

He rolled his eyes at her, leaning over Kisa’s shoulder.

“What’s that?”

He pointed at item number twelve. “Take care of Benny. Who the hell is Benny?”

“A dog?”

“If it’s a fucking chihuahua, I’m out of here.”

As a response to his question, a portable radio went life suddenly, filling the room with the sounds of the baby’s cry with a strange mechanical note in its voice.

“The hell is that?!” Kisa grabbed the radio and started pressing the buttons helplessly. “How do I turn this off?”

Lucas looked at her gravely. “You can’t. It’s a radio nanny, apparently, a fancy one, controlled with an app or something.”

The cry became almost unbearable, and Kisa pressed her palms to her ears, finally remembering why she didn’t want to have kids. She looked around and flew the fridge door open, throwing the hellish device inside.

“Problem solved,” she exhaled, and Lucas quirked an eyebrow at her. “What?”

“Nothing. I’d never pinned you as a motherly type but…”

“But what?” she flared up, still on the edge from the buzzing in her ears that never went away.

Another text broke through the tense air between them, and the physio looked down at the screen. They went from that moment outside the house to almost arguing in a span of two minutes, and now the challenge didn’t seem stupid anymore. Now, it suddenly felt like a test, if they were even a little compatible with each other and had a chance of surviving on the outside, where they will have to figure out how to be together without killing each other twice before breakfast.

“We should go meet Benny,” Lucas motioned her to follow him. “Apparently, he’s in our charge for today.”

The doll stared at them with its dead, creepy eyes, crying so loud as if someone was ripping out its legs. Glancing at Kisa’s agonizing face, Lucas sighed and picked the doll up, cradling it in his arms to calm down, trying to figure out if it was hungry on needed a change. The doll let out another mechanical cry and then went quiet, making soft, content noises occasionally.

With her brain still wrapped in the sound of its cry, Kisa looked at the man.

“Where’d you learned that?”

“My best friend’s sister gave birth recently,” the physio flinched at the memory. “And it for some ridiculous reason likes sleeping on me.”

“It?” Kisa stepped closer to the man, looking down at the doll.

“They say it’s a girl but who the fuck knows, they all look the same.”

Kisa chuckled softly, nodding at the doll. “Are we supposed to carry it… him around all the time?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what you’re supposed to do with a newborn,” Lucas suddenly winced. “Great, I think he wet himself.”

He glanced at the girl, and she recoiled hastily. “Why are you looking at me? I have no idea what to do. It’s you daddy cool here.”

Lucas’s jaw dropped at the statement, and a growl escaped his lips as he looked around in search of the doll’s belongings. He never liked children, never wanted to get married and have a cute little domestic paradise – so why was he doing this now? Why was he the one to fix the stupid doll while _she_ was just standing there with a helpless look written all over her stubborn, beautiful, so much loved… _stupid face._

He was ready to slap himself for his own sappy thoughts and busied himself with the doll, trying to ignore its mechanical whining.

“Well, are you going to help or will be just standing there for the next six hours?” he snapped at Kisa, and she immediately straightened, stepping closer to the man.

“Since when you’re the boss around here?” her voice went a bit higher, as always when she got irritated.

“Someone has to be,” his lips twitched at the sight of her annoyed expression. “Since we got here, you’ve done nothing but whine, just like this fucking doll.”

Kisa’s green eyes narrowed dangerously. “Oh, yeah? Fine!”

She stormed out of the room and stomped downstairs, slamming the door on her way outside. The car was still parked in front of the house, but Tim was nowhere to be seen, and neither was the camera guy who never followed them inside. She had no idea why the stupid doll got to her, but everything inside of her was boiling with anger.

Just the thought of going back inside made her sick to her stomach, and she walked up to the car and looked around once again before jumping onto the driver’s seat. She turned the engine on, and pulled out having no idea where she was going. But she couldn’t stay in that house with a list of chores she had to do.

She drove down the road without any destination, barely noticing the landscapes as she tried to escape her own self. Why had she got so scared? What’s gotten into her to the point she had to run before she lost it? She wanted this life when she and Kassam got together, so what changed?

She pulled over and got out of the car, bending over, and pressing her hands just above her knees, breathing deeply. Running away wasn’t an option, no matter how scared she gets. It was just a stupid challenge that she couldn’t care less about, she won’t let it get under her skin to the point she yells at Lucas for no reasons and drives away into the sunset in a stolen car.

 _What the hell is wrong with you_ , she pressed her long fingers to her temples and stepped closer to the edge of the road. The view under her feet was so peaceful, it helped her breath to calm down slowly.

Everything got too much, her feelings for him consumed her completely, to the point she couldn't see herself in the mirror. All she could see was him, and it was terrifying. She loved him too much, her heart was barely alive, it was always drowning in her love for the man who was barely able to let her in. 

Loving him was painful, in the most excruciating and agonizing way possible. Loving him was like walking on hot embers, like jumping off the roof not knowing if there's a safety net... the pain was so strong, at some point, it began to feel like pleasure. And not once in her life, she felt more alive than now. Now that she found him, and he was hers.

It was the simplest equation of all. She loved him, and nothing else could ever compare to that _need_ inside her, the need to love him until her last breath. 

Kisa climbed back inside the Jeep, a deep frown between her eyebrows, and turned back, hoping her disappearance went unnoticed but knowing that _he_ knew she was gone the second she left the room. Because it was her and him, it was _them_. They knew each other, even though she barely knew anything about each other. How many actual conversations they had? Three? Four? And yet, he knew her like no one else, not even Seth. He saw her darkest, grimmest side and accepted it, just like she accept him, all of him, and all the hurt that he gave her and will give in the future. 

Because there's no love without pain. No passion without burning flames of fire that consume everything on their way, that burn you from inside out, until there are only tiny ashes left on the floor. And then, it rebuilds you, creates the version of you that you never dreamed of becoming. With him, she fought for everything, she learned to fight, and she taught him to fight for her, no matter how long it took both of them, they've learned their lesson. And she wouldn't give it up for the sweetest, most perfect fairytale love on Earth. 

A wave of relief washed over Lucas’s body when he heard the car approaching and saw Kisa climbing out of it a second later without turning the engine off. Before she said anything, he grabbed her into his arms, pulling her body into his with the force that lifted her up and collapsed them against each other as his hands clutched on her back tightly. His heart was pounding heavily since the moment Tim told him she took the car and left, and in the past forty minutes, he thought of everything, from her leaving the show just like she planned to her driving off the cliff in a fit of anger. For those forty minutes, he stopped existing, nothing matter but the need to see her. Just to see her and feel her skin against his own, nothing more. He needed so little - and yet, it seemed almost unattainable. 

Lucas held Kisa so tight, her ribs started to hurt, and it brought her a strange feeling of relief. His heart hammering against her chest, his hot arms around her waist, his ragged breath caught in her hair – everything felt so familiar, so close as if he’s been a part of her life forever. Kisa’s arms coiled around his neck, pulling him closer, her lips leaving fast kisses all over the man's face as her hands snaked into his gelled hair, breaking yet another wall between them, the wall that was never truly there.

He grabbed her face in his palms and looked into those impossibly green eyes that were now the color of pine forest.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he admitted through the ragged breath.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, one of her hands moving to caress his face. “I've scared myself, too.”

Neither of them noticed Tim who finally saw the two of them and cursed into the phone, waving at the cameraman who’s been trailing behind, bored with the fuss around the girl’s disappearance. Oblivious to everything, they stood in the shadow of an orange tree, trying to bring their feelings to words, clinging to each other, terrified to part even for a split of a moment.

“I’m sorry, so sorry,” the girl pulled slightly away to look at Lucas, her fingers digging even deeper into his shoulders. “I’ve no idea what’s gotten into me, this ridiculous list, and the doll, and the fact that I reacted like that, it’s just all…”

Lucas’s hands dug into her sides, pulling her back into him. “Just shut up and hug me, you runaway.”

She wrapped him in her arms, fingers clenching on his shirt as if she was drowning, and he was the only thing that could save her, and finally, she was home. In his embrace, enveloped in the scent of sandalwood, patchouli, and his hot skin. 

“Don’t ever leave me again,” he said quietly into her hair, his voice so serious Kisa tried to look up but he didn’t let her move, pressing her even tighter, to the point she couldn’t move at all. “Promise you won’t leave me. Because if you ever do, I’ll die, and will come back to haunt you forever.”

The words left his mouth, and his arms loosened their grip for just a second as the man took a deep breath, his throat achingly dry. It was enough for Kisa to break free and catch his face into her palms, gently and fiercely at once. Her eyes burned into his for the longest moment of his life before she breathed out _I promise_ and covered his lips with her mouth, making a vow she was going to keep for as long as he has her, as long as he wants to keep her.


	44. Lost and Found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You don't want to hurt me  
> But see how deep the bullet lies  
> Unaware I'm tearing you asunder  
> Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts..."
> 
> [Running Up That Hill - Meg Myers]

“I think we’re the first ones back,” Kisa looked around the empty lawn and moved towards the kitchen. “I wonder if this challenge was a disaster not just for us.”

Lucas peeked inside the fridge and grabbed a bunch of fresh mint and a bowl of strawberries left from the morning while she rummaged through the cupboard in search of ingredients for Mojito. He put his finds in front of her and propped himself up to sit on the counter next to where the girl started mixing drinks.

“Not for Pribby,” he chuckled. “They might get back here with their doll because Bobby got separation anxiety.”

Kisa rolled her eyes at the statement, but the corners of her mouth curled into a little smile against her will. She reached for a small metal bucket and turned to the ice machine while Lucas got himself busy devouring berries, his eyes following her movements lazily. 

“Probably, for Noah and the bitch,” she assumed, her voice barely audible through the noise of ice falling into the bucket. "Don't suppose she's a wifey material."

She wasn’t jealous, not anymore. Since the moment he told her that he wanted her, she never for a second doubted his words. But just the mere fact of Amanda’s existence was enough to make her stomach tighten into knots and the blood boil in her veins. She looked at the blonde and all she could see was all the things she didn’t know about Lucas, all the stories from his past he never told her.

Lucas watched Kisa’s face change just a little at the mention of his old hookup, and a crippling fear crawled under his skin. He still never had a chance to tell her about the kiss, and the longer he waited the worst his anxiety became. For some reason, Amanda never told Kisa about it, but somehow, it only made it worse.

“Come here,” he beckoned her over, and she stepped closer, sitting the ice bucket onto the counter.

Her green eyes snapped up at the physio expectedly, and the man’s breathing quickened nervously.

“I’ve got to tell you something,” his hand caught her palm, and Lucas squeezed Kisa’s fingers as if to make sure she couldn’t leave. “I should’ve told you earlier but…”

He didn’t finish the sentence, not willing to make any excuses for himself.

“But I didn’t,” he said awkwardly. “Something happened after you… after that secrets challenge.”

Kisa’s heart dropped. He couldn’t tell ‘after you broke up with me’ - but that was what she did, and now it seemed so ridiculously stupid. She shook it off and raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Amanda kissed me.”

He blurted the words out so fast she could barely understand what he was saying, as if he was so scared to say them out loud, he needed to rush through them not to bottle out. Kisa kept staring at the man as the words slowly sunk in, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. It didn’t come out as a surprise, but it still made her stomach twist into knots as he continued.

“It wasn’t in any way mutual, but it caught me off-guard for a second, and I let it happen for a moment.”

His eyes burned into her, trying to read her reaction but she didn’t seem to have any. She didn’t try to pull away, didn’t snap at him, her face didn’t wince in anger – she just stood there quietly, her fingers still squeezed in his hand. She didn’t utter a word, and Lucas’s heart sunk in his chest.

“Say something,” his voice dropped. “Please.”

She saw his usual poise leaving the man’s body, his eyes filling with worry, and her own body couldn’t stand seeing him like that. As if having a mind of its own, it made her move closer to Lucas, her free hand snaking its way to the back of his neck. Her fingers pushed into his hair as he pulled his face closer to her, looking in his widened brown eyes deeply.

“I don’t care,” she whispered finally, a long, relieved sigh escaping her lips the moment she realized she wasn’t lying. “I don’t care who wants you as long as you want _me_.”

She kissed him before he could’ve said anything, her hot breath burning on his lips, her body pressing harder into his as she stood between his legs, wrapped in his arms, the shark tooth necklace scraping against her neck. She stood between the man's knees, the heat of his body enveloping them both, and she wondered lazily how his temperature was always so high it made her skin burn under his touch.

“I knew we’ll find them fornicating in a public place,” Bobby’s chuckle made the couple pull apart, and Kisa felt her cheeks flush ever so slightly. “Oh, you’re making cocktails.”

He and Priya walked over the counter, their arms linked and movements almost synchronized. The girl grabbed one of the bottles while Bobby pushed the singer aside and started slicing limes. Kisa rolled her eyes at them, resting her back against Lucas’s chest, and he threw his arms on her shoulders, nuzzling his face into her hair. They both kept silent for a moment while hands were playing with the little gold coins of her necklace.

“Enjoyed your day?” Kisa wondered as she watched her friends, her fingers fiddling with a muddler.

“Very much so, yeah,” Bobby took the muddler from her, his eyes sparkling mischievously as he continued. “So, care to explain why everyone’s been on the lookout for a ‘missing bitch’?”

He asked in a casual tone of voice, throwing a handful of melting ice cubs into the pitcher and reached for the mint leaves.

“What?” Kisa almost choked on air.

“Bobby,” Priya gave the baker a disapproving look. “Just ignore him,” she turned to Lucas and Kisa. “He has huge ears that hear what they’re not supposed to.”

“Not my fault people here are such gossips,” her boyfriend pouted. “Plus, who else could’ve gone missing in the middle of a challenge if not her,” he pointed a metal straw at Kisa, and the man behind her couldn’t stifle a chuckle.

Kisa nudged him painfully with a roll of her eyes, “Shut up."

“So it _was_ you!” Priya’s squeal echoed through the lawn.

“Time to collect the debt,” Bobby suddenly pulled his girlfriend into his embrace and pursed his lips. “C’mon, little loser.”

She kissed him, counting each kiss, and almost choking on ‘three’ when the man tipped her backward, taking away Priya’s breath. Lucas huffed into Kisa's hair, and the girl turned to face him.

“Jealous much?” she asked, her eyebrow arched.

“Maybe.”

With a sigh, she offered him a hand, and the man slid off the counter, an amused smile playing on his lips. Kisa cleared her throat, attracting their friends’ attention, and pulled her bitchy physio closer, one arm wrapped around his waist, her free hand resting on his cheek. She kept thinking that she always was so sure that she didn’t know him at all, only now realizing that she most likely knew him better than anyone. He let her see himself, all of him, all those sides that she didn’t even know existed. Just like now. Just like a few hours ago.

When she jumped out of the car and flew herself into his arms, he let her see a part of him that he never showed to anyone before, not even to his best friend. He let her see him scared of losing her, and somehow, it felt so right, so relieving, Lucas could barely believe that weight of the world dropped off his shoulders when he finally knocked down the last of his walls, for her.

She bent him backward, holding his weight with her arm, and hovered above the man, her fingers stroking his cheekbone gently.

“You’re impossible,” she said finally before kissing him the way people used to kiss in old Hollywood movies.

Her heart started beating faster against his chest as he deepened the kiss, her scent enveloping Lucas into the safest embrace of his life. Before her arm gave out, she pulled the man back up, her lips still on his, and he finally tightened his grip on her.

“This makes me gag,” Amanda’s voice made everyone in the kitchen start and look at her.

She, Noah, Shannon, and Gary just got back and now stood slightly aside, watching the scene in the kitchen with different levels of amusement (and disgust) in their eyes.

“I thought you got rid of your gag reflex at fifteen,” Lucas noted casually, sending everyone in a sudden fit of cough.

His posture changed, and a self-assured smirk appeared on his lips, bringing back his usual arrogant look. Nonchalantly, he grabbed the pitcher and started pouring Mojito into glasses while everyone else sat around the kitchen island, discussing the challenge as they waited for Lottie and Johnny.

Kisa glanced around, trying to imagine what life would be in just a few days when they’re all finally out of the Villa and back in the real world. Priya rested her head on Bobby’s shoulder while his fingers were stroking her forearm gently, and Kisa couldn’t help a small smile forming at the corners of her lips. She knew that those two will be fine, no matter what, and somehow it was enough to put her mind at ease. If this summer from hell brought Priya and Bobby together, it was all worth it.

Kisa missed the moment when the last coupled joined them, and Gary’s phone beeped with instructions to get dressed for the night and gather by the firepit.

“Earth to Kisa,” Bobby waved his hand at the girl as everyone else started making their way inside. “You okay?”

The girl blinked out of her thoughts and looked at the baker vacantly. Lucas cast a quick glance at them, and a shadow ran over his face before he shrugged it off, leaving them in the kitchen alone.

“We kind of fucked up the challenge,” the revelation slipped off the girl's lips despite her will.

“I figured,” Bobby let his hip rest against the counter as he studied Kisa with a thoughtful look. “How bad it was?”

She chuckled bitterly. Despite everything that happened after she came back, despite all the things she felt being wrapped into Lucas's strong arms, despite his voice whispering her everything she never even dreamed of hearing from a closed-off, guarded man - she couldn't just shrug off the fact that she seemed to be terrified of living real life. That life consists not of dramatic entrances and spiking emotions but dirty dishes and awkward family gatherings. The _real_ life that she was missing so much but turned out to be not ready for. 

“I ran away. Literally. We entered that damn house and heard the doll, and I freaked out. Took the car and drove away.”

Bobby’s eyes filled with worry as she continued, words pouring out of her mouth.

“When I got back, he looked so… as if he lost me. I don’t think I ever saw anyone this close to a breakdown. After Kathleen and her asshole boss were finished scolding me, we got back and had to do those stupid chores, but just being inside that house made me feel like I was suffocating. _He_ spoke to Kathleen, and she agreed that the dramatic shots of our reunion were enough and let us spend most of the time outside.”

The girl went quiet, listening to the sounds of distant voices as the islanders were getting ready for the night moving around the building. It was slowly getting dark, and she spotted one of the staff members creeping down the stairs to ignite the fire in the pit. All the things she grew so accustomed to in the past six weeks. All the things she thought she hated but that somehow felt strangely calming. 

Bobby moved closer to his friend and put his hand onto her shoulder comfortingly.

“Hey,” he gave her an encouraging smile. “It’s just a challenge.”

“I know,” she nodded, her brows still knotted. “But what does it tell about me? What if... what if I’ll freak out when we’re out of here? What if he asks me to move in together, and I’ll just fuck everything up?”

“Between the two of you, I’d bet my money on him running away screaming once he sees you using a foot file in your living room.”

“Hey!”

They stared at each other for a moment and then burst into laughter, both happy for a small comic relief. It couldn't change the way she felt, it couldn't give her faith that the actual life won't be like this stupid challenge. But it reminded her that while she was able to laugh at it, she'll be fine. The lights around them went on, and Kisa slowly ran her fingers through the long strands of her hair.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Bobby squeezed her shoulder. “If you don’t trust yourself, trust me. No one knows you and him and your relationship better. You’ll be great.”

“You’re such a melt,” Kisa chuckled, ruffling his hair, and Bobby smirked.

“It’s a part of my charm.”

Somehow, the Scot always managed to find the right words to push her worries aside, and Kisa thought once again how much he reminded her of Seth.

“You and my best friend would be such an epic duo,” she noted as they both walked inside. “Don’t repeat my words, but I’m kind of excited to introduce you to everyone.”

Bobby’s eyes sparkled in mischievous amusement, and the girl chuckled. “Don’t let it get into your head.”

She walked him to the boys’ dressing room, then empty, and Bobby suddenly grabbed her hand, his eyes widening.

“I completely forgot!” he yelled in a whisper. “Kathleen gave me this earlier today.”

He reached into his pocket when Gary and Johnny appeared in the room, laughing, and stared at Kisa in surprise.

“Sorry, boys,” she sniggered, throwing Bobby an apologetic glance. “I’m already gone.”

She moved past the baker, her voice dropping to a barely audible whisper. “Is it the one…?”

He nodded, and a bright smile lit up his face, making Kisa’s heart grow a size. She squeezed his hand and left, ready to face whatever else the evening was going to through into her face, her thoughts taking her far away from the Villa, back to her band’s favorite bar. She was never sentimental, but the picture of her boys, Bobby, Priya, and her, together, sent a wave of warmth over her body. All of her friends… and Lucas. She imagined him at her favorite places, and he looked perfect everywhere. He looked so perfect next to her, in her arms, with her hair splayed over his bare chest, with her hands entwined with his.

She barely noticed other girls as they were all getting ready for the evening together, just slipped into one of her dressed and went back downstairs, deep in thought. She was still worried about how she handled the challenge – and why she acted like a bat-crap crazy psycho – but Bobby’s words stuck in her head, keeping her calm.

Kisa sat on the bench, her eyes glued to the fire dancing under the light evening breeze, her mind wandering somewhere far away as she waited for everyone else to get downstairs.

“Is this seat taken?”

Lucas flopped down next to her, his skin glowing in the warm light of flames, his lips stretched into a smirk, the one she fell for all those weeks ago without realizing that the feeling burning in the pit of her stomach wasn’t hate or resentment.

She glanced at him, tapping her finger on her lips.

“It is,” she smirked back at him. “By the most annoying prick on the planet, you don’t want to mess with him, or he’ll bitch you to death.”

“Or maybe,” his voice dropped lower as his hand moved up the bare skin of her thigh. “He’ll bitch _you_?”

Kisa’s breath caught in her throat when his fingers slid under the hem of her dress.

“What do you say?” he leaned into her, his breath burning on her neck, and moved his hand further up, making her gasp under his touch.

He couldn’t stay away from her, just seeing her sit there alone, in her black silk dress and with her curls messy, made his heart beat faster and his stomach fill with flutters. In a swift, cat-like movement, she turned her body and threw a leg over him, straddling the man. Now, it was his breath that hitched as her finger hooked into his necklace, pulling his face closer to her.

“I say,” she scrunched the leather string, shortening it until it was slightly choking him, and tilted her head to her side. “You’re _my_ bitch now.”

Her kiss was fast and hard and left him growling in her mouth. Nothing existed but her body heat and the touch of her lips, and the scent of her pungent perfume that made his head dizzy.

“We should turn this into a drinking game,” Lottie’s voice broke through the bubble around them, making the couple pull apart and look at her and Priya standing just a few steps away. “Every time someone sees these two making out in the most public place of all, we take a shot.”

"We'd get so wasted," Priya chuckled moving closer to the bench. "Like, in no time at all."

“So funny,” Lucas rolled his eyes as Lottie landed next to him.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Priya pulled Kisa off Lucas’s lap and threw an arm over her shoulders. “Your boyfriend wanted to speak with you,” she looked at the physio and pointed towards Bobby standing slightly aside.

“If he’s jealous, tell him sharing is caring!” Kisa sniggered as the man walked away, and he only raised his middle finger high in the air.

Lottie moved closer to the girls as the other islanders slowly started making their way to the firepit, her short lace dress sparkling in the lights.

“What’s that about?” she asked, nodding towards Lucas and Bobby who seemed deep in a conversation.

“Who knows?” Priya shrugged. “Probably, planning to run away together.”

Kisa’s phone buzzed on the couch, and she rolled her eyes, waving the men over.

“Time to find out which couple is ready to face the real world, and who’ll… run away at the first sight of a problem,” she finished with a scowl.

Gary’s phone beeped.

“The winners of today’s challenge are… Priya and Bobby.”

“No surprises there,” Shannon tittered. “I’m surprised they’re still not married.”

Gary put his hand onto the ginger’s knee.

“There’s more. The prize is... immunity from the dumping.”

The atmosphere changed immediately as the news settled in. Bobby squeezed Priya's hand and glanced around. Just like everyone else, he didn't know what to say: this was the last dumping. All of them have come such a long way to get there, and he couldn't imagine what would it feel like to leave when there was just the last step left.

Noah’s phone beeped and he read, a worry on his face. “In your couples, choose two couples that deserve to stay on the show less than others.”

“What?” Lottie’s voice trembled. “ _We_ ’re supposed to decide?”

“Two couples?” Priya glanced at Noah. “That will be hard.”

Lucas walked Kisa up the stairs, and they settled on the daybeds, watching the others disperse throughout the lawn. She looked at him, and the man moved closer, his shoulder pressing against her. For a long moment, neither of them spoke, enjoying the sensation of the other being close. Slowly, Lucas ran his fingers up the girl's arm, pressed a kiss to the side of her head, and pulled his phone out of the pocket.

“Well, we both know who’s leaving for sure,” he typed ‘Noah and Amanda’ and hit send. “And the other couple… gotta be Shannon and Gary, right?”

She nodded: there was no other choice. Priya and Bobby were out of the question, and Lottie was Lucas’ friend, so her couple had to stay. She and the witch didn't become friends, but in the past several days, the blonde had grown on her.

Lucas glanced at the girl and his finger stopped, hovering above the screen, “Do you think Lottie and Johnny should leave?”

Kisa snapped his eyes at him in surprise. “I never said anything.”

“Yes, and usually you’re very vocal about your opinions.”

She rolled her eyes at the man, grabbed his phone, and sent the text. Without a word, she pulled him into a kiss, her lips claiming his needily, ripping the breath out of both of them. 

“I’ll always be on your side,” she said quietly, pressing one last, final kiss to his prickly with stubble jaw. “Let’s get back to them.”

At the fire pit, no one seemed to know what to say, avoiding each other’s eyes. Kisa squeezed Priya’s hand, and everything fell into silence as they waited for the results.

Chilly evening breeze picked up, and Lottie shivered under its gusts. 

“The dramatic quality of this moment is beyond limits,” Lucas snickered nervously, wrapping his arm around Kisa’s waist.

A loud beep of Bobby’s phone almost made everyone jump. The baker took a deep breath, and Priya caught his eyes, squeezing his shoulder comfortingly. He wasn't the only one who's made the decision, but she knew that he still hated that they had to do it. His need to keep everyone else happy didn't go anywhere, even though he's learned to sort out his priorities, and she loved it for that, too. 

She nodded slightly, and he looked down at the screen.

“The couples received the most votes and in danger of dumping are… Amanda and Noah, Gary and Shannon… and Johnny and Lottie," his voice trembled, and Kisa involuntarily glanced at the blonde girl. "The public vote will decide which of three couples won’t make it to Love Island finale.”

Bobby looked up from his phone, his eyes meeting Lottie's.

"Guys..."


	45. Nightmares Come True.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kris❤️ Happy bday, my AJDLDKSHSHS girl!  
> This is not the chapter you’ve asked for but you know me well enough not to be surprised and enjoy the pain 😆

Kisa’s long, layered dress of blood-red tulle draped over her body tightly, forcing the girl to take short, quick gulps of air filled with glitter and Priya’s sweet, heavy perfume. The two of them were the only girls left in the dressing room, everyone else was already gathering downstairs to get the last instructions from the producers.

The green-eyed girl sighed staring at her reflection through the weird haze that was clouding her vision. Irritated, she blinked a few times trying to chase away the feeling of un-realness of the moment but all she achieved was a smudge of mascara under her eye. With a scoff, she grabbed a cotton swab and rubbed it against the skin roughly.

“You okay?” Priya stepped from behind the changing screen, her dress sparkling so bright as if the sun just entered the room.

“Yeah,” Kisa nodded pulling on a smile. “You’re so beautiful.”

The girls slowly made their way down the corridor, and the musician glanced out of the window. A full moon was staring back at her, seemingly so close that if she reached her hand, she might’ve been able to touch it. Shaking off her thoughts, Kisa pulled up the layers of her skirt and started descending the stairs carefully.

Her mind was floating in a strange slumber barely registering anything else besides what was happening right in front of her, as if unable to process any more information.

The night of the Love Island finale.

She’s been waiting for this for six long, excruciating weeks. She’s been dreaming of the time when she and Lucas are out of this place and away from the majority of these people. She’s been dreaming of when she’s back to Oxford, back at the studio, singing and spending time with her band. Dreaming of when it’s her and Lucas, alone, just the two of them. No messages, no interruption, no drama.

Kisa chuckled to herself: _the no drama part does sound a bit outlandish._

Finally, the girls reached the lounge, loud music and voices coming from the outside catching their attention.

“Looks like it’s almost showtime,” Priya noted. “Good luck, everyone.”

As the older girl made her way to Bobby, Lucas moved across the room to where Kisa froze. His warm chocolate-colored eyes sparkled as he took in her image, a large grin stretching the man’s lips.

“I wish we were alone now,” he whispered, his breath hot against the skin of her cheek when he leaned in to kiss her, and everything else disappeared, turned into white noise and blur.

They took their seats waiting to find out who won the stupid game. Kisa didn’t care anymore, her prize was sitting next to her, his arm wrapped casually around her shoulders. It seemed like she was put into some strange trance, whatever was happening around her just moved past the girl, not catching her attention.

Finally, there were only two couples left in the room, and Bobby cleared his throat to speak, his mimic even more animated than usual.

“The moment of truth, right?” he chuckled. “The two of you are the only people I ever wanted to share it with.”

“You melt,” Priya chuckled and pressed a light kiss to the baker’s cheek.

Kisa fought back an urge to rub her eyes in an attempt to focus her blurred vision when the final text arrived announcing the winners. Bobby’s eyes darted to the screen, and his face broke into the biggest smile.

“Lucas and Kisa.”

“Guys!” Priya wrapped her arms around them both. “See you in a few.”

She dragged Bobby away, leaving the final couple alone.

“I can’t believe we won,” the girl said, still trying to process whatever just happened.

“I never had a doubt.”

Lucas pressed his lips to her in a kiss that ended too soon. He relaxed back against the couch and entwined their fingers giving Kisa the confidence she needed when it was finally their turn to meet everyone outside. The entire lawn was crowded with their friends and family members and the previous islanders from other seasons, everyone cheering and applauding for them.

All their faces seemed blurry, the entire scenery was just a whirlwind of colors and hazy images when Kisa got up to the stage and tore the envelope open to find the fifty grand card inside that she shared with the man she loved more than she ever thought was even possible.

He spun her in his arms, and her laughter filled the air around them. It was finally over. Tomorrow, they’ll be back home, and their lives will be back to normal.

She missed most of the afterparty. She just zoned out, the sound of her own voice seemed distant and unfamiliar when she found herself speaking to the winner of the previous season. Excusing herself, Kisa looked around searching for Lucas.

“He went inside with his friend,” Lottie reported when the dark-haired girl caught her next to the open bar, and Kisa started making her way back into the villa.

Her footsteps were slow and sluggish, her legs suddenly too heavy to move. She brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face and moved through the crowd that suddenly seemed to lose any interest in her. Unbothered, she reached the building and kicked off her shoes, walking barefoot towards the voices.

She’s heard Lucas’s friend's voice and held back, not wanting to interrupt.

“What’s your plan for her?” the other man asked, and the physio chuckled.

“Once we’re done with the main chunk of public appearances, she’ll be gone,” Lucas snorted. “Can’t let the audience know it was all game, you know.”

Kisa staggered backward, the words hitting her hard and fast.

No, she heard it wrong.

The girl moved closer to the doorway to peek into the dimly lit lounge. Lucas was standing half-turned to her and she couldn’t see his entire face, but even what she saw was enough for her heart to crack into a million tiny pieces. His familiar smug face was now full of aversion and merciless mockery as the man continued speaking.

“Will have to find a reasonable excuse to ditch her,” Lucas rolled his eyes.

“We’ll figure it out,” his friend smirked. “Maybe you’ll catch her with someone else. Once a cheater, always a cheater, the dumb public will buy into it like that,” the man snapped his fingers, and Kisa felt so sick she had to cover her mouth not to throw up.

The pain that went through her body was agonizing. She’d never felt anything like that in her life, as if a bullet train just ran into her, breaking every bone of her body. Her legs gave out, and she fell on her knees, suffocating, hand clenching hysterically on her chest as the tears poured out of her eyes in hot, burning streams of acid.

She didn’t know it was possible to still breathe after you’ve died. Everything inside of her was screaming in pain that was bigger than her body, bigger than the entire island, it was a monster that had no beginning and no end.

Her mouth opened against her will, letting out a heart-wrenching shriek that deafened her, and collapsed on the floor, bruising her soul, her hands hitting the marble so hard her skin turned dark blue.

“Kisa!”

She felt someone’s hands clenching on her shoulders but couldn’t stop, panting and choking, she just couldn’t stop.

“Wake up!” someone shook her so hard her head hit against the bedpost. “Fuck, please, wake up!”

“What’s going on?” another man’s voice, worried and husky, added to the one that’s been calling for her, and the girl’s hands moved to grab on whoever was speaking.

“She’s having a nightmare,” Lucas shook her again, and Kisa’s eyes finally snapped open, wild, burning with tears.

“I’ll get her some water,” Bobby dashed out of the room while the physio pulled her closer, his hands caressing her back through the silk fabric of her pajama top that was wet with sweat.

She clung onto him, her nails digging so deep into the man’s skin he felt blood drip out of the half-moon shaped cut. He grabbed her face into his palms making her look into his eyes, her gaze filled with panic and hurt.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered covering her cheekbones with light kisses. “It was just a dream.”

Her body was still trembling, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, pressing the girl into himself, “What was it about?”

“You,” she croaked through the lump in her throat unable to control her breaking voice. “You told your friend this was all just a game… that you…”

She couldn’t bring herself to continue. She sounded so pathetic, so scared, like a little girl that had a nightmare about a monster living under her bed. She slightly pulled away and ran her fingers through her messy, damp hair as she finally managed to catch her breath.

“Sorry I woke you up,” Kisa lowered her gaze. “Go back to sleep, I’m fine.”

With one hand resting on her side, the man grabbed her chin between his fingers.

“Look at me,” she’s never heard this tone of voice before, firm and commanding, and against her will, her gaze moved up to meet his. “I’d rather stub myself with a rusty seax and get stuck in a room alone with Noah than ever hurt you, you hear me?”

She nodded but he only tightened his grip, repeating, “Do you _hear_ me?”

Her long, studying stare sunk deep under the man’s skin sending shivers down his spine when she finally whispered back, her hand moving to slid into his hair.

“Yes.”


	46. Hunger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “... I scare myself with the way that I need you  
> There's no one else, tell me you can feel it too  
> I'd crawl through hell if it meant I could keep you...”
> 
> [I Scare Myself - Beth Crowley]

The first rays of sunlight cut through the windows, falling onto Kisa’s face, jerking the girl out of sleep. She stirred in the bed, her eyes still close, feeling the weight of Lucas’s arm thrown over her body. The man mumbled something in his sleep, tightening his grip, and a small smile curled her lips upwards.

She couldn’t believe that the show was almost over – and that she survived those six weeks from hell. Not just survived, she got what she never thought was possible for her. Slowly, she turned her head and opened her eyes to look at the man sleeping next to her. Lucas’ hair was splayed chaotically over the pillow, longer strands falling onto his forehead, and another private smile lit up the girl’s face.

After everything they’ve been through, it was the first morning when she woke up without fear of the unknown, without that gut-wrenching feeling that something was going to happen and bring them apart once again.

She frowned, remembering the day before, and the blissful peace of the moment turned into a whirlwind of memories that made her blood rush faster through her body. Taking a few deep breaths, Kisa pressed her lips to Lucas’ cheekbone, just to remind herself that the past was in past and that no matter what was going to happen next, she was ready for it.

In his sleep, Lucas nuzzled his face into her shoulder, and a small sigh escaped his lips making Kisa’s heart flutter. She was ready to face the world, with him. Domestic life challenge scared her senseless, but she wasn’t afraid anymore. They were absolutely and utterly not ready to live in the real world, but she didn’t care - as long as he was with her, everything was going to be perfect. Every disaster that was bound to happen, every fight, and every struggle.

She wrapped her arm around the sleeping man, her memory taking her back into the day before as she listened to the soft sound of his breath and the distant birdsong.

She and Priya were the first ones who woke up. Kisa was making coffee, throwing glances at her friend, and the comfortable silence was so peaceful, neither of them was in a hurry to break it. Kisa put a steaming cup onto the kitchen island next to Priya’s thigh and finally spoke, taking a sip from her mug.

“Once, I and Seth went to his parents and I shaved their golden retriever like a lion.”

Priya spluttered sending little droplets of coffee all over the kitchen, her eyes widening as she stared at the other girl. “Why on Earth?”

She put the cup down and tried to wipe the coffee off her silk nightgown.

“Well, Seth’s mom said he was a bit scared of the other dogs in park, and I wanted to make him look intimidating in the eyes of those dogs.”

The older girl looked at her for a long moment before she gave in, bursting into laughter that made Kisa giggle, too. Tossing her long, burgundy-red hair over her shoulder, Priya slightly shook her head, still smiling widely.

“Bobby and I spoke about kids during the yesterday’s challenge.”

“That’s so wild!” Kisa slapped her hand over her mouth in pretend surprise. “You had to spend five hours watching over a baby doll and spoke about babies!”

“Oh, shut up,” Priya nudged Kisa’s thigh with her toes.

Kisa chuckled but threw her hands up. “Okay. So, any crazy baby names that Bobby thinks are cute? Paisley? Siubhan?” she looked at her friend’s slightly flushed cheeks, and her grin became even wider. “Oh, so it wasn’t Bobby’s ridiculous baby names!”

“I said we’re naming a boy Severus…”

“Because you really want him to have a hard life,” Kisa suggested. “But continue.”

“And Bobby said he wants kids. Like, many of them. Not just one or two.”

The green-eyed girl stared at her friend in confusion, and Priya sighed. “I want kids, too. A lot. A boy and a girl.”

“Did you come up with a name that’ll ruin her life, too?” Kisa’s lips moved against her will. “Sorry. I’m funny at eight in the morning.”

With another sigh, the older girl continued, fiddling with her cup of tepid coffee. They could hear the sounds of other islanders waking up and starting their day, and Kisa moved closer to Priya, speaking quieter.

“So, what happened?”

“Nothing, really,” Priya shrugged. “It’s just… I have a big family, Bobby has a big family, and together, our families could populate Lundy. I just thought that maybe, _our_ family will be a bit… different? Less loud, only for us, you know?”

Priya frowned, putting the cup down. “I don’t make sense.”

“You do,” Kisa reached to run her fingers through the other girl’s hair. “And you should tell this to Bobby. Whatever else he wants, he wants _you_ the most.”

Her face lit up with a smile when Priya wrapped an arm around her friend, pulling her closer into a warm, firm embrace, resting her chin on top of Kisa’s head. They froze like that, enjoying the last moments of calm before everyone else gets downstairs, and the Villa fills with buzz and commotion, and loud voices that only stopped during the night.

Slowly, Kisa looked up, coiling a strand of Priya’s hair onto her finger, a tiny grin playing on her lips.

“What?” the older girl smiled, too, happy to see her friend in a good mood. _Finally._

“If you ever get tired of your baker boy, come and find me,” Kisa gave Priya a smirk. “I’m sure I can entertain you better.”

A loud, sniggering laughter interrupted them, making both girls look at Amanda, striding into the kitchen with a huge, wicked smile plastered onto her face. She stopped a few steps away from them and brushed her hair aside.

“I’m afraid you can barely entertain your own man,” the blonde strode towards the fridge, diving into it to grab a yogurt. “Otherwise, he wouldn’t be kissing other girls the moment you’re out of the picture.”

“The fuck you’re talking about?” Priya pushed herself off the counter and took a menacing step towards the shorter girl.

Kisa moved closer, too, grabbing the older girl’s hand. “Don’t,” she shook her head and looked down at the blonde, her eyes narrowing. “And you… are free to fling yourself into the sea and swim back to whatever hole you call a home.”

“Admit, you know it. He’ll never stay with you,” Amanda shrugged. “It was me now, it will be someone else later.”

“I don’t think so,” Kisa arched an eyebrow ever so slightly. “No one else would be so desperate to kiss a guy against his will knowing that he feels nothing for them.”

The blonde’s face twitched in a mix of embarrassment and hatred, and she threw the untouched pack back into the fridge, cocking her head to compensate for the height gap between herself and Kisa who just kept staring down at her with distaste written over her face. When Lucas told her about the kiss, she felt nothing.

No jealousy, no doubt, no fear, as if something inside of her that was broken all these weeks she spent being jealous of him whenever Chelsea – or anyone else – got close to him just fixed itself. She couldn’t explain it but something inside of her trusted him completely and knew that he will never betray that trust.

And now, looking at his ex-fling, she felt nothing but disgusts towards the other woman. Shrugging, Kisa turned back to Priya, considering the conversation done, when Amanda stepped closer, her eyes wide with anger.

”Oh, don’t think you can just insult me and walk off, the way you’ve been doing this to everyone here!”

“Shut up already,” Priya butted in, throwing an arm around Kisa’s shoulders. “Even better, get rid. No one wants you here, not even the guy you’re coupled with. You’re just a cheap piece of garbage that someone should take out because it stinks.”

Kisa tried to stop her friend, but Priya barely noticed.

“I’m done with your petty ass,” she continued, stepping even closer, so she was towering above the shorter girl. “It’s one thing to play the game and graft whoever you like the most…”

“Like you did with Bobby?” Amanda asked with a sickening sweetness in her voice.

Priya stopped as if she was got slapped on her face, and her eyes darted to Kisa involuntarily.

“What’s going on here?” Gary, Lucas, and Shannon joined them in the kitchen, and the crane operator frowned, staring at the three girls.

Priya barely gave him half of a moment of her attention before turning to face Amanda again when Shannon interrupted them, sliding onto the chair. “Is there a chance we can go one morning without catfights?”

“Why?” the blonde turned to face her. “Too scared to hear something about yourself, pumpkin?”

Shannon’s face flushed with anger as she jumped back onto her feet, and Kisa slowly backed down, joining Lucas who still stood next to Gary. She nudged him painfully on the shoulder, and the man winced.

“What was that for?”

“Do something,” she hissed at him, nodding towards the arguing girls.

“One of them is your best friend,” the physio rolled his eyes, exchanging glances with Gary. “And one of them is his partner.”

“Yes, but it’s your horrible taste in women that is the reason _she_ ’s here,” Kisa pointed towards Amanda. “So, this one’s on you.”

_And then, everyone else has joined the scene, and Lottie didn’t exactly hold back._

The memories of the day before kept floating in the girl’s hand as she waited for Lucas to wake up. It was their second to last morning in the Villa, and with Amanda and Noah voted out and gone, the day promised to be the best day of the last six weeks.

Kisa felt Lucas moving next to her and turns her face to the physio. Her eyes met his, and a warm wave washed over her body as his hand moved lazily up her stomach, tugging on the fabric of her silk pajama top, and caressing her skin.

“Morning,” his voice was still husky with the echo of the night, and the sound of it made the girl’s skin erupt into goosebumps.

He moved his face closer brushing his lips against her shoulder and moving up her neck until he reached the corner of her mouth. Her pulse quickened the same moment, all the thoughts about yesterday’s madness vanishing from her mind, leaving only pleasant emptiness behind. His hot breath burned on her lips for a second that he waited before kissing her, and the air got caught in her throat as she pressed herself into the man, weaving her arms around his neck.

He hummed into the kiss, running the tip of his tongue over her bottom lip before tugging it gently between his teeth. Uncontrollably, she pulled him closer, her hands running through his hair, pulling lightly, and his grip of her body tightened as Lucas rolled onto his back pulling her on top of him.

They were still the only two people awake, and she covered them both with a duvet, cutting off any other sounds but the fast beating of their hearts and their heavy breathing as her hands explored the man’s body in the hot darkness.

She was lying on top of him, feeling every taut muscle, every perfectly sculptured part of him, and two thin layers of fabric between them seemed too many now. Slowly, she moved her kisses, trailing her lips across his jawline and down his neck, nipping on the sensitive skin of his throat, ripping a tiny moan of pleasure out of him as she moved further down his body, brushing against his hard length.

Lucas’s fingers tangled in her long, thick hair, pulling it out of her face, and she chuckled against his stomach drawing patterns on his abs with her hot, wet tongue. She felt his muscles twitch under the touch, and her hand traveled lazily down, sliding under the waistband of his pajama pants, and wrapping her fingers around him.

She kissed his hipbone before pushing the pants down his thighs. Kisa couldn’t remember if there was one time when he allowed her to take the lead before, and the realization that he was just lying there, letting her do anything she wanted to him, made her stomach flutter.

She got so used to fighting him for control, this sudden obedience shot a rush of adrenaline through her veins, filling her with the need to make him feel good, to show him how much she appreciated this willingness to let go, to just… _trust_ her. Her, he wanted _her_ , and never in her life she ever felt so… utterly happy? Confused that something like that happened to someone like her?

Her lips wrapped around him, and Lucas had to bite on his palm not to make a sound as she took him deeper, her tongue swirling around his sensitive head, stroking him. He willed the hand tangled in her hair to relax, his fingers merely brushing silky-smooth strands. She taught him to let go, to enjoy things as they come, to stop trying to control every little bit.

She taught him to stop trying to overpower her and just trust.

He’d never done that before. Never trusted anyone completely, never allowed himself to open up the way he did to her - as if he was a book that she read from cover to cover. With her hands roaming his body as her mouth working him, making the waves of pleasure spread through his stomach, he learned to take only what she was willing to give.

She could hear his tiny gasps and feel the way he trembled at each of her touches, and her own body was dying to feel him.

Kissing her way up, Kisa finally reached his mouth, and Lucas wrapped his arms around her, kissing her deeply, longingly, turning her insides upside down.

“Fuck,” he groaned into her ear as she pushed herself down onto him, clenching around him perfectly.

She wished she could see his dark eyes that, she knew, now were pitch-black, wished she didn’t have to bite hard on her lip not to make a sound, wished she could do with him everything that she’s been dreaming about all these weeks.

She leaned into the man, kissing him deeply, and tugged on his shoulders to roll them both over. He barely noticed how he got on top of her when her long legs wrapped around him, and her fingers dug deeper into his skin.

“Move,” she whispered brokenly. “Please.”

For a moment, he just froze. He gave up the control, gave it over to her – and she just gave him hers in return.

He finally started moving inside her, deeply, hastily, almost half-conscious under the weight of feelings that came crashing all over him. No matter what was going to happen next, he wanted her by his side, forever, until the fucking death did them apart – and even after that, too. 

They’ve drowned in their own personal world, getting deeper and deeper as their bodies moved together faster. Lucas pressed the side of his head against Kisa’s, thrusting into her harder, feeling her ragged, hot breathing on his skin, and got lost in the moment. She was everything but perfect – but somehow, she was perfect for _him_. Her jokes were borderline insults, she was barely able to control her anger that sometimes took over her, she was stubborn and controlling and she acted like himself, and it was infuriating… and it was drawing him to her mercilessly.

Kisa’s mouth opened in a silent scream as she pulsed and clenched all over him, and Lucas kissed her again, catching unsaid words with his mouth, following her over the edge after a few fast, hard thrusts that made the bed screech dolefully.

He collapsed on top of the girl, panting, and she wrapped her arms around him, pressing their bodies together even tighter.

“If the two of you are done,” Bobby’s amused voice broke through the walls of the duvet. “Kisa’s got a text.”

“Oh god,” her face flushed red with embarrassment. “I don’t wanna see those faces now. At least, your ex-bitch and her creep are gone.”

Lucas chuckled into her ear. “You owe me so big.”

He dived from under the blanket, leaving Kisa under it, and met six pairs of eyes staring at him. He shrugged and reached for Kisa’s phone, ignoring smirks and raised eyebrows.

“Islanders,” he read with as much pathos in his voice as he could gather. “Prepare to speak to those who know you the best.”

Lottie grinned. “It’s gotta be texts from home, right?”

“I hope so!” Priya bounced off her bed excitedly, tugging on Bobby’s feet to drag him off it, too. “Come on, no time to lie around like a sack of potatoes.”

Bobby growled and pointed towards Lucas’s bed. “Why’s Kisa allowed to stay in bed and I’m not?”

“Because Kisa’s worked for her lie-in,” Priya blurted through laughter, sending everyone in the room into a fit of giggles.

“I can hear you all, you know?” Kisa’s voice coming from beneath the blanket only made everyone burst into laughter again, and the girl growled and peek from under the duvet.

Lucas met her gaze with a smoldering look of his sparkling eyes, and she forgot about everyone else. She’s been missing this look, even though it was just as smug and self-assured, and annoying as before. And as before, it made her skin tingle as he dragged his gaze up and down her body, catching the sight of her messy hair and red, swollen lips.

Everyone else slowly left the room, only they and Bobby were still there. The baker crawled from under the blanket, stretching and yawning, and flopped in the feet of Lucas and Kisa’s bed, watching the two of them lazily.

“You think your friends would approve of me?” Lucas asked casually, running his fingers through his hair.

“Why?” she gave him a smirk. “I thought you don’t care what other people think of you… you know, since you’re wearing this,” she hooked her forefinger into his shark tooth necklace.

The man rolled his eyes but the sudden knot in his stomach loosened just a little. “You think you’re so funny.”

“That was funny though,” Bobby grinned, tucking one leg under himself. “But I’m nervous… what if these texts won’t be as good as we think? Like, what if our families think our partners aren’t a good fit?”

He glanced between them and whispered, “I’ve heard that someone’s family called their partner an ‘awful misalliance’.”

Kisa chuckled nervously. “Gary and Shannon, probably?”

“They’re an obvious choice,” the physio shook his head slightly. “He’s a crane operator who barely finished the second level, she’s a professional poker player with a degree in mathematics, could put their photo next to ‘misalliance’ in Miriam-Webster.”

“You know, just a ‘yes’ would’ve been enough,” Kisa’s eyes sparkled in strange amusement. “You’re such a bitch sometimes.”

“Shut up,” Lucas rolled his eyes.

“Make me,” she returned his words, making his skin flush, and Bobby chuckled as he rolled off the bed.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone for now.”

When the baker left, Lucas turned to the girl, looking deeply into the emeralds of her eyes.

“We’ll be fine.”

He pressed a suddenly gentle kiss to her forehead and left. Kisa relaxed against the pillows, staring at the phone and replaying his words in her head until finally, she smiled and pulled herself out of the bed.

Whatever happens, they will be fine.


	47. Midnight Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "'I'm on fire like a thousand suns  
> I couldn't put it out even if I wanted to, these flames tonight  
> Look into my eyes and say you want me, too  
> Like I want you..."
> 
> [Hunger -Ross Copperman]

Sitting in the lounge, Kisa stared at her phone. Suddenly, all the excitement was replaced with anxiety when Kathleen instructed everyone to disperse throughout the Villa so each had a bit of privacy while speaking to their families and friends, and Kisa felt being left completely alone. She frowned and shrugged, trying to get rid of this sudden fear that Seth was going to say he disliked Lucas and that he was disappointed in her, and-

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by the buzzing of her phone.

“Five minutes?” she read out loud, rolling her eyes.

 _With Seth’s typing speed, we’ll only manage to say hi._ Somehow, she knew it'll be him. Her best friend, the boy she'd known for so long, she couldn't remember her life without him anymore. 

Her phone woke up, ringing loudly in the silence of the room, and the girl pressed the ‘accept’ button refusing to believe.

“Hi, pishi*,” Seth’s smiling face took almost the entire space of the screen.

“Seth,” her voice got caught in her throat. “We… we thought, it was gonna be texts.”

She mentally kicked herself for wasting time talking about that, but the shock of actually seeing his face and hearing his voice erased all other thoughts out of her brain. It seemed like they haven’t seen each other in years, and for a moment, she just sat there, staring at the familiar yet somehow new face smiling at her mischievously. 

“Kisa* got your tongue?” the man joked, his eyes filling with warmth. “Or you’re thinking of a way to explain how come you just dumped me for that Scottish boy?”

She chuckled, “What can I say? You should step up your game.”

Seth’s laughter filled up the air, and she closed her eyes for a second, imagining herself with her boys, sitting on a large couch in Ilya’s studio, laughing and joking, as the entire city of Oxford lit up with thousands of lights.

“How are the boys?” 

“Mad that I got you all to myself,” Seth grinned. “They’ll deal.”

“Keith probably still thinks I’m mental for doing this,” she shook her head.

“Exactly. Every night we watch the show, and he keeps asking if we’re not waiting for you to join our little party.”

Kisa smiled gently. “Sounds like him.”

She frowned a little, reminding herself that they didn’t have much time left, and immediately, her friend picked on the change in her mood. He sighed and put the phone down on the table, lacing his fingers together and resting his chin on them.

“We've got you,” he said before she could’ve asked. “Always.”

Kisa felt the corners of her eyes start prickling with tears as the meaning of his words sunk in. He, Ilya, and Keith were her family, they were the most important part of her life, they came above everything else, and they knew it. They knew that the stone-cold heart of this fierce martial arts teacher could’ve been broken easily by each of them, and when Seth was contacted by the producers, there was no hesitation in neither of them.

“If she wants the guy, we’ll have to make sure we give him proper training,” Keith noted as he splayed himself over the chair. “Tell her we’re taking him on a boys’ only weekend once they’re out of that dumpster of a place.”

“Yeah, as if either of them leaves the bedroom in the first forty-eight hours after getting back here,” Ilya sniggered. “The term 'horny' goes to another level when they’re around each other.”

Seth stared at both men, his brow furrowed in thought.

“So, we all agree he’s alright?”

“He’s a complete prick,” Keith rolled his eyes. “His luck that our little pishi likes those.”

And now, Seth hurried to reassure his best friend that no matter what, they will always accept her choice, will always be on her side, will always make sure to never make her feel like she had to choose between them and the man she so obviously loved. Her eyes lit up as he repeated their friends’ words and then went quiet for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip.

“What is it?” Kisa’s breath quickened. “Just tell me.”

“It’s nothing bad,” he said finally with a sigh. “It’s kind of even good news.”

“Well?” she rushed the guy. “I have about a minute left.”

She bit down on the inner side of her cheek not to comment on the producers’ mental endowments and just waved her hand helplessly.

“It’s Alex. He told me about the bet,” Seth frowned. “We will all scold you for that later, but now, Alex wants to sign a contract with us.”

Kisa huffed. “Does he?”

“Yeah,” Seth tapped his fingers on his chin, reminding the girl of Bobby so much it made her smile. “And his proposition sounds actually good but-”

“But we both know that _he_ isn’t good not even a bit,” Kisa finished his sentence. “I know."

"I can't believe you've made that bet though," the man shook his head. "At least, something good came out of it."

Kisa chuckled. “I can’t believe that tomorrow it will all end.”

Those six weeks felt more like six years – but somehow, now, it seemed like only yesterday she stood before the line of five boys, taking her pick first. She chose Noah and ended up with Bobby, and then Priya swooped in and took him from her – and became the first girl Kisa ever trusted. And then, _he_ came and turned her world upside down and made her jump through hoops and run through the storm to get away from him, just to end up in his arms.

“Do you remember that part where Alice gets into someplace where everyone has to run to stay in the same place?” she asked suddenly.

Seth’s lips curled slightly upwards. “Yeah.”

“I feel like all these weeks I’ve been doing exactly that. Running and running just to-”

“To end up where you were running from?” he sighed, wishing to be there to comfort her when she needed it so much, to help her realize what everyone back home could see from that first moment she and the physiotherapist met on the sun-lit lawn.

Everyone could see how hard they both were trying to run away from their feelings only bringing themselves closer – and it was the reason they all wanted for the couple to end up together. If two people were affected by each other that deeply, it was meant to be, Seth knew it.

A message popped up on Kisa’s screen, and the girl frowned.

“I’ve got to go,” she sighed. “They say the time’s up.”

Seth nodded, “Got the same text. Feels odd, can’t deny.”

“You’ve got no idea,” she rolled her eyes. “Tell the boys I love them.”

“We love you too, pishi.”

She ended the call, feeling a strange mix of sadness and joy sparkling inside her chest. Speaking to Seth meant everything, just his soft voice, and smiling eyes were enough for her to feel at ease - but it only meant that soon, she'll have to get back into the real world. Kisa put the phone down and rested her head against the pillows, trying to imagine how Lucas’s chat with the people back home went. Did he speak to his best friend or his mom, or maybe, someone else?

She stretched out and started getting up when her phone beeped with another text.

**Someone else wants to chat with you.**

She frowned, staring at the screen _. If it’s Alex, I will scream,_ she growled mentally before accepting another video call.

“Hello, Kisa,” a man in his early fifties looked back at her, and her heart jumped to the girl’s throat in immediate recognition.

“Mister Koh,” she swallowed hard. “Hi.”

She couldn’t remember the last time she had to speak to her partner’s parents. Alex, being a complete asshole, had a horrible relationship with his family and never talked to them himself, and she could barely remember her life before him. And now, looking at the man on the screen, she didn’t even know what to say besides ‘sorry for fucking your son right before the working cameras’.

“Please,” the man smiled ever so slightly but it was enough to warm up his stern face. “Just Liam. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, even be it through the phone.”

Kisa felt a heavy weight lift off her shoulders and gave him a small, genuine smile of her own.

“Likewise. Liam.”

A small pause hung in the air before the man continued, his dark-brown eyes looking deeply into the girl as if he was reading her, but it didn’t feel invasive or inquiring. As if he was just trying to see who she really was, not who she seemed to be.

“We’re all glad you and Lucas ended up moving past your issues,” Liam admitted with a little frown. “We were afraid that his confession was too late, and you won’t give him a chance. They ended that episode on his speech, and we waited on the edge of our seats until they aired the next one.”

His soothing voice with a soft, barely noticeable accent poured on her, making her heart bask in mirth. The man spoke genuinely, openly, and he was such a bright contrast to his son, Kisa couldn’t believe that Lucas grew up next to Liam but managed to turn out such an arrogant, unbearable ass. She said the last words out loud before she could’ve stopped herself, and Liam laughed in amusement.

“He took a lot from his grandfather,” the man said, still chuckling. “It’s our luck we have you now to keep him in check.”

Suddenly, Liam went serious. “He really does care for you,” he said simply, his eyes burning into Kisa’s. “I don’t believe he ever felt that away about anyone, and I’m sure it scares him. We can only ask you-”

“I promise, I’ll do everything to never hurt him,” she interrupted the man before he could finish his thought. “And if I do, I’ll do whatever it takes to heal him, too.”

She knew that they both will make mistakes and the pain was inevitable. They will hurt each other but she was ready. He was worth all the hurt. Liam watched her face as the thoughts were running through the girl’s mind, and it was enough for him.

“They sent me a message,” the man rolled his eyes, and in this gesture, Kisa saw Lucas and couldn’t hold back a tiny smile. “It was a pleasure speaking to you. I am waiting to finally meet you in person.”

“Me, too.”

She finished the call and jumped to her feet, her body light as a feather. She needed to find Lucas and rushed outside, hoping he was already done, and almost collapsed into the man as she turned the corner.

“Easy, tiger,” he chuckled, catching her into his arms. “I take it, we’re good?”

“Looks like it,” she weaved her arms around his neck pressing their bodies together. “My friends have a horrible taste in men.”

“Tell me about it,” his smirk grew even bigger as he dug his fingers deeper into her lower back. “My family is excited to have someone who puts me in my place,” he changed his voice to mock his mother’s words. “If only they knew _how_ exactly you do that.”

His smoldering eyes burned into her, making Kisa’s skin flush at the memory. Lucas tilted his head down to whisper into her ear, “I can’t wait to be put in my place some more.”

His fingers slid down her thigh, making her skin erupt in goosebumps, and she had to bit on her lip not to let out a soft moan that was ready to escape her mouth. Instead, she threaded her fingers through his gelled hair, pulling slightly to make him look up.

“Is that so?” she asked softly, her other hand running over his face, her thumb brushing over his lips.

“Yes,” his breath stuttered at the sensation of her hot skin against his and the sight of a dark spark in her eyes.

“Good boy.”

Her phone buzzed in a tiny pocket of her skirt, and Kisa groaned, rolling her eyes.

“I swear if it’s another challenge, I'll scream.”

Lucas grabbed the phone from her hand, and his eyes shone. “We’re going on a date.”

“Now?”

“The car is already waiting.”

He dropped his arm onto Kisa’s shoulders, pulling her towards the exit, and a thrill of excitement coursed through her. She remembered both of their dates so brightly as if they happened only now. She remembered every little thing that happened, everything they spoke about – but somehow, it felt like such a distant memory, as if it happened in another life. They drove through the narrow, winding roads, and the way Lucas’s body felt against her, the way his warmth filled her to the brim made Kisa finally believe that nothing was ever going to pull them apart, not even themselves and their ridiculous stubbornness.

They finally arrived at a small, secluded rose garden that was in full bloom now, and the man glanced at Kisa, tightening his grip, and repeating his father's words in his mind.

_Trust yourself._

He finally understood it now, as he helped Kisa take a seat across the table from him in a tiny clearing in the aromatic bushes of bright-red lush roses. He found roses while he was waiting for their date on his first day in the Villa and picked one for her. He didn’t do it to make an impression or out of boredom as he told her – he did it just because she was the woman that he wanted to give a blooming red rose to. It was so simple and yet, he managed to complicate everything. In those five weeks, he managed to almost break them both. Almost. He looked at the sparkling eyes of the girl across the table, and an ocean wave came crashing over him, drawing away the memories of the past mistakes, any fears that might’ve still been there. This wave took away everything that made him fight this feeling that nestled in his chest the moment he saw this girl. _His girl._

He raised a champagne-filled glass and bit his lip as the pause continued.

“I don’t know what to drink to,” he finally admitted, almost cringing at the next words that left his mouth. “I have everything I want.”

Kisa chuckled softly and leaned across the table to clink their glasses. “I’ll drink to that.”

It was his moment of _lâcher prise,_ the moment when he finally managed to let go, transcend beyond himself, beyond everything, and lost control.

She smiled at the way his face changed so much in a few moments as if he finally found out the truth - and it was beautiful. She didn’t push him to speak, just sat there in front of him, her fingers fiddling with the stem of her glass as she watched Lucas. She was wrong before. He was just like his father, just as honest and open – with her. He let her see through his mask, let her see what no one else was allowed, and she didn’t need his words to know his thoughts.

The way his eyes followed her every movement and his heart started beating faster when she was around told her more than any words ever could.

“Do you think it’s someone’s private garden?” Lucas asked suddenly, and Kisa chuckled. “What?”

“Nothing,” she smirked. “Why you’re asking?”

He shrugged and tipped his chair towards the bush on his right. “No reason really.”

He bent over and caught one of the stems between his fingers, picking up the flower. Kisa watched him as he straightened back up and outstretched his hand to give it to her, brushing the bud against her cheek softly.

“If you ever tell anyone I said this seriously, I’ll deny,” he narrowed his eyes. “But if you were a flower, you’d be this rose.”

He kept caressing her skin with the gently, velvety petals.

“You’re just as delicate and gorgeous as its petals and as dangerous as the thorns.”

His eyes burned into her, and Kisa almost forgot how to breathe. His finger pressed lightly against one of the thorns.

“See, it won’t hurt until you hurt it, and that’s the real beauty.”

Lucas paused for a moment before pushing his chair out and walk around the table to squat down next to Kisa’s seat, looking up at the girl. He left the flower to lie on the ground next to her feet, and his hands found her fingers, squeezing them gently.

“My mother told me this old story about a flower that only bloomed in the night hours, and no one could see it. But then, people came and found it, and they’ve brought it to light. And the flower wouldn’t bloom, and the people became mad and ripped the flower out of the earth and threw it away and left it in the darkness. And it started blooming again, only now, it had large thorns that hurt anyone who dared touch it. You’re that flower. You’re a fucking midnight rose, Kisa.”

She felt two streams of tears running down her cheeks, but her heart was light, filled with the love she had for this man, filled with the love he just poured into her. She slid off the chair and caught his face between her palms, looking deeply into the dark voids of his eyes.

“I have something else in common with this flower,” she nodded at the flower next to them. “If I have to die, I want to do it in your hands.”

Her lips found his, and the world stopped. When she kissed him before, he felt everything, fireworks, excitement, pain – but never this overwhelming serenity. He lost himself in it, lost himself in her arms, in her touch, in the scent of her skin and the beating of her heart against his chest. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed, it might’ve been a moment or an eternity before both of their phones came alive breaking the moment.

They looked around, noticing that the sun was slowly traveling closer to the horizon, coloring the air around them into all hues of pink and golden.

“We should head back,” Kisa said finally with a disappointed smile.

“We should book a vacation the first second we’re out of here,” Lucas helped the girl to her feet. “Somewhere far away from people.”

“Like Antarctica?”

The physio rolled his eyes, “I was more talking about one of those vacation homes in Bali, but sure.”

They walked back to the car, and Kisa took her seat next to Lucas, kicking off her shoes and throwing her feet onto his lap.

“What’s that?”

“You’re not blind.”

“And yet, I’m asking.”

“It’s what your life’s gonna be from now,” she gave him a smirk and waved the rose at him. “Chop-chop, those feet won’t rub themselves.”

Tim snorted with laughter in the driver's seat and started the engine, turning the music on to give them some kind of privacy.

Lucas caught her delicate ankles and pulled Kisa towards himself, almost knocking both of them off the seat, and she squealed, bursting into laughter as his arms wrapped around her waist. “You were saying?”

He kissed her, deeply, cutting off any smug words she had in response, and her body melted against his, leaning even closer as she coiled her arms around his neck.

“You guys are too cute,” Tim commented as the car pulled over in front of the Villa.

Kisa frowned at the loud voices coming from somewhere inside, “Looks like everyone else’s back, too.”

“What was your cue?" Lucas sighed heavily. "The lit-up windows or the yelling?”

They moved further down the driveway, getting closer to the source of noise when a sudden realization dawned on them.

“It’s Bobby and Priya,” they said almost together, staring at each other.

Lucas frowned deeply and grabbed Kisa’s hand as they continued listening into the heated argument.

“Welcome back to reality.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pishi- kitten  
> Kisa means kitten as well, so Seth’s joke “Kisa got your tongue” is super cringe but adorable 😆


	48. Breathe Me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎵: Pills - The Perishers

Holding Kisa’s hand, Lucas stepped onto the lawn that was drowning in the sounds of a fight. Surrounded by other islanders, Bobby stood in front of his girlfriend, his hands thrown up in defeat.

“Well, maybe you should listen to them!” he retorted, folding arms over his chest. “Since their opinion matter so much!”

“You know it doesn’t!” Priya’s voice was unusually high and trembling, tears glistering in her beautiful dark eyes.

“Then what was this date?!” Bobby snapped, stepping closer to her under the stares of their friends who just stood there not knowing what to say or do. None of them haven't seen the couple arguing ever since the first week, and it felt so out of the ordinary, so strange seeing them yell at into each other's faces. As if winter came in the middle of August. 

Lottie crept up closer to them, but the baker only waved his hand dismissively, not moving his gaze from Priya.

“What’s going on?” Kisa turned to Shannon who stood close to her.

“It seems, Priya’s family wasn’t enthralled that she and Bobby are together,” the ginger frowned. “They came back from their date already arguing, and now it’s turning into a full-blown fight.”

Kisa’s heart sunk painfully. She loved them both, the thought of them being unhappy hurt her. Whenever they had time free from gossiping and ridiculous challenges, she and Priya used to talk about life back home, and Kisa remembered the older girl’s stories about her parents who disapproved of most of the guys she dated, eventually bringing her to break up with them.

Kisa’s green eyes narrowed as she looked at Bobby trying to see him with the eyes of Priya’s parents. He was just a guy who worked at the hospital kitchen and loved baking. Never went to college and wouldn't know the difference between Monet and Manet. Just Bobby, a guy three years younger than Priya who sometimes acts like he's still in school. Just Bobby who made Priya happier than she's ever been in her life.

Lucas squeezed the girl's shoulder comfortingly, following her gaze with a frown. Bobby became one of the closest friends he ever had, but he could see why Priya’s family wasn’t his fan. He huffed under his breath, and a look of distaste distorted his face. _No one will ever love her the way he does, arrogant asshole,_ he mentally kicked Priya’s father who he imagined having a mustache and smoking ridiculously expensive cigars.

Priya shook her head and stepped back. “I can’t do this now.”

“Yeah, right, whatever,” Bobby said darkly. “Me, neither.”

They walked off in different directions, and Kisa froze to a spot, not knowing what to do. Both of them were not okay, and it felt as if her heart was trying to break in two to help them both. Lucas squeezed her shoulder again making her look up at him.

“Find Bobby, I’ll talk to Priya,” he kissed her softly. "I’ve got this.”

He walked towards the villa, disappearing inside, and Kisa watched him until he was gone.

Lottie frowned looking towards the firepit. “We should…”

“No,” the older girl shook her head a little. “I’ll do it.” She held back for a moment to smile at the blonde. “Thank you.”

Kicking off her shoes, she crossed the lawn and climbed down the wooden stairs, heading towards the firepit. She flopped on the decking next to Bobby, leaning her back against the bench. The baker kept silent, and Kisa just sat there next to him, looking at the little stones framing the pit. There was no need for words. What a guy like Bobby could give a girl like Priya?

She looked at him, and a small smile touched her lips.

 _Himself._ He could give her himself, something, that no one else on the planet was able to offer her.

“Hey,” she put her hand on Bobby’s forearm and squeezed lightly.

The man blinked out of his thoughts and looked at her, seeing a soft, gently glimmer in the green eyes, and somehow, it made a tight knot inside his stomach loosen up just a bit. For the first time in weeks, he saw her happy, her happiness was so pure and unstained, it sunk through his skin, filling Bobby’s body, too.

“The date was good then?” he chuckled at the way her cheeks colored with a soft blush.

“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes. “We’ve got a more pressing issue than discussing my date with your boyfriend.”

Bobby shifted on his spot and crossed his legs.

“Meaning that?” he pointed his forefinger somewhere up, presumably towards the roof terrace. They couldn’t see them from the lower level, but somehow, both knew that that’s where Priya and Lucas went to. “Yeah, you might call that an issue.”

“Oh, please,” Kisa tapped her fingers on the edge of the bench. “As if you really think she cares about what they say.”

“I know she doesn’t,” the baker grazed his bottom lip between his teeth. “But I do. I want everyone to be jealous of her, not to think that she could do better.”

“She couldn’t do better, Bobby.”

“What?”

He stared at Kisa in confusion, and she chuckled at his dumbfounded expression. “Not my words, just a quote: ‘ _he’s the best thing that ever happened to me’_. So, no. She couldn’t do better because you’re the best.”

She waited for the words to sink in, watching Bobby’s face as it changed slowly from confusion to disbelief until he finally broke into a smile, barely holding back his excitement. Kisa laughed, pulling the Scot into a hug.

“Do you have it with you?”

He knew immediately what she was asking about and nodded, his face flushed red. “Just in case.”

Kisa chuckled and pulled away a little.

“Do it.”

“Now?” Bobby’s eyes widened. 

“Yes, now. Why wait?”

The look on his face made Kisa's heart grow a size, and she barely held back the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. She jumped to her feet and outstretched her hand to help Bobby up.

“Okay, you go take a breath and grab Gia, I’ll do the rest. Reconvene here in twenty.”

Without waiting for his response, she almost sprinted off, excitement coursing through her as she stalked towards Kathleen, panting, tripping over her words as she spoke. The other girl’s eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded, promising to set everything up.

“What’s going on?” Johnny called out for Kisa as she walked past the beanbags where he, Lottie, and Gary sat.

“Nothing,” she shrugged. “You just…” she spotted two staff members following Kathleen through the lawn. “Nothing.”

She moved past them, hoping that Priya and Lucas were too busy discussing their favorite sorts of truffles to notice the commotion downstairs. Kisa sniggered to herself as she filled a glass with water.

They only had one day left in the Villa, and for the first time, the thought didn’t bring the usual relief. Looking around the lawn, she couldn’t deny that she was actually happy there - in the most painful way, but happy. She found two people she now called her friends – and she found _him_ , the man she seemed to be unable to escape or forget, the man she… Kisa shook her head, casting away the thought. She’ll have all the time in the world to give her feelings a name, or to actually say that name out loud, looking into Lucas’s eyes.

 _Bobby was right,_ she rolled her eyes at her own sentiments, _he really did mellow us out._

She met the baker on his way back downstairs and gave him an encouraging nod.

“Everything’s almost ready. Gather everyone, I’ll lure the Beauty out.”

The girl turned around when Bobby grabbed her wrist, looking deeply into the girl’s eyes. He never knew this kind of friendship before, and he was more than sure that it only existed between him and this stubborn girl.

“Thank you.”

Kisa couldn’t help a little smile that played on the corners of her mouth as she ruffled his hair. “Anytime.”

He moved down the stairs leaving her alone, and Kisa shook her head: this was craziness, but everything inside of her was screaming that this was the best kind of madness. Slowly, she climbed upstairs and walked through the empty corridor leading to the roof exit. The door was slightly ajar, and she could hear Lucas’s voice, pontificating something about an old Romanian castle he once stayed at.

“I knew he’ll be bragging about something,” Kisa stepped onto the roof terrace, smirking. “The man can’t shut up.”

Priya sniggered while Lucas rolled his eyes, patting the space between them.

“Thanks for the compliment but my ass is bigger than those three inches of space,” she chuckled but got closer to them, leaning her side against the wall. “I hope he didn’t blabber you to death.”

“I have Bobby for a boyfriend, I’m used to listening to constant nonsense.”

“Hilarious,” the physio pouted, but his eyes sparkled as he looked up at Kisa. “Are you here only to insult me or?”

“I’m always here to insult you,” she bent over to glance into his eyes and run her fingertips over his cheekbone. “But also, to invite you two to join everyone downstairs.”

“What now?” Priya groaned. “Another stupid challenge?”

Kisa only grinned and shrugged. “Come and find out.”

She raised an eyebrow meaningfully as she held Lucas’s gaze for a long moment and left, rushing to get downstairs before them. The space around the burning firepit was drowning in fairy lights that twinkled softly under the rays of the setting sun and the first stars that sprinkled across the sky. Bobby sat on the high stool with her guitar in his hands, while everyone else took seats over the bench, leaving the space in the middle for Priya and Lucas.

Kisa flopped onto the seat next to Bobby and caught his hand in her. “It’s gonna be amazing, you’ll see.”

“Really?” Bobby’s breath got caught in his throat. “I can barely speak.”

“That’s why you’re gonna sing,” the girl leaned closer. “I’ll be here, all the way.”

She took the guitar and slowly ran her fingers across the strings, evoking gentle, calm notes out of the instruments as they all watched Priya and Lucas descend the stairs in intrigued silence. 

“Oh,” the girl’s face lit up with a smile. “Wow,” she looked around. “You’re giving a concert?”

Kisa glanced at the physio, and he wrapped his fingers around Priya’s forearm, guiding her to sit down, the music following them each step of the way. Bobby looked at Kisa, and she nodded, smiling at him encouragingly.

“Just sing for her,” she whispered, and Bobby’s voice filled the air.

_“I hope my smile can distract you  
I hope my fists can fight for two  
So it never has to show  
And you’ll never know…”_

He never thought it was even possible to find love in this place. All he wanted was a free vacation far from his strange, messy home. He never believed he deserved to be loved, not by someone like Priya. But she came in and made him forget about everything. She made him believe he was good enough, after all. 

Bobby caught her gaze that was glued to him, and a wave of warmth washed over him. He might not be what her family wanted for her, but he was the one _she_ wanted, the one who was _right_ for her – and he was going to do everything to prove it, everything to make each day of her life just as happy as she made each second of his by just being there, in his arms.

_“I hope my love can blind you  
I hope my arms can bind you  
So you'll never have to see  
What we've grown to be…”_

Kisa picked up the lines, giving Bobby a short break to catch his breath as her voice poured out in the light, airy notes. Unconsciously, her eyes found Lucas, and her breath hitched as she realized he’s been looking at her the entire time.

Bobby and Priya loved each other so obviously, so openly, it made her question whether that feeling in her own chest was love – or was it something else, something that wasn’t perfect enough to call it love? Her friends’ fights were nothing like those between her and her physio, there was nothing dark and twisted about the way they let their emotions take the best out of them.

And whenever she thought about herself and Lucas, she couldn’t stop the memories of all those hateful looks and bruised skin and spiteful words that were rushing through her mind. Were they just lying to themselves and this relationship was doomed from the start?

_“One may think we're alright  
But we need pills to sleep at night  
We need lies to make it through the day  
We're not okay…”_

Bobby’s voice joined her, and Kisa felt his warm fingers squeezing her arm for a moment. She turned to the man, and he gave her a small, comforting smile, throwing a glance towards Lucas. It wasn’t too hard to figure out what thoughts were passing through her head, and Bobby wished there was a way to prove to her that her fears had no ground beneath them, that whatever scared her the most was the exact reason why she had nothing to be worried about.

Lucas once told him that not everyone can be as perfect as he and Priya, and now, Bobby was reading the same thought on Kisa’s face. But they weren’t perfect. They were just that – themselves. And it was enough. Just like it was enough for Kisa and Lucas to be who they are. He always had a bunch of people in his life, never spent his evenings alone, always in the middle of any event – but never he had people who made him stronger, better. Never had friends like this stubborn girl and her reserved, supercilious man who was nothing of the sort.

Kisa’s bright, melodious voice filled the air next to him, guiding him through the song, picking up wherever his own voice trembled, and that was what having her friendship felt like. Like he had someone to lean on, and he could only hope that one day he will be able to do the same for her.

_“One may think we're doing fine  
But if I had to lay it on the line  
We're losing ground with every passing day  
We're not okay…”_

As the melody started dying out, Lucas dragged his gaze off of Kisa to look at Priya who sat next to him, her eyes glued to her baker, and then followed to where Bobby sat next to the green-eyes girl, his fingers tapping lightly on the chair.

He could lie to himself, to Kisa, to Priya, to everyone – but not to Bobby. He loved her, the younger man was right. He loved her now even more than a second ago and was sure that in ten minutes, he’ll love her even more. He loved her fiercely and painfully, burning down both of them with his love, and it scared him. It scared him that one day they’ll both just disappear in those flames, and he kept his love to himself. As if hoping that unspoken, it won’t ruin them.

Bobby caught his gaze and gave him a quick grin before singing his next line, but just that one smile from his friend, a smile full of understanding and encouragement, made him forget about his fears for a moment. A moment that he needed to make a decision. He loved her, and he wanted her to know how he felt.

_“But that’s one thing I would never_  
_One thing I would never_  
_One thing I would never say to you…”_

The last quiet word hung in the air, and Kisa smiled softly before throwing a quick look at Lucas pointing her chin towards Priya. The man slightly pushed her to stand up, and she got to her feet, still hypnotized by the song. She took a few steps closer to Bobby who walked towards her and now stood in the soft light of the flames playing in the firepit.

Kisa’s fingers were still grazing the strings, evoking soft, delicate sounds out of the guitar as the baker took Priya’s hands into his, his eyes sparkling as he spoke.

“When I first saw you, you didn’t just take my breath away,” he said quietly. “You captured my heart, right from the moment my eyes landed on you.”

“Oh my god,” Lottie gasped, covering her mouth with her palm.

“I was scared I’ll never be good enough for you. Until someone blabbered me your little confession of my perfection,” his gaze darted to Kisa, and she widened her eyes.

“I told you in a secret!”

Bobby chuckled and turned to Priya again.

“In reality, neither of us is perfect… though you’re this close to it,” he pinched his fingers together, and the girl laughed softly. “And together, we’re not perfect either,” he looked at Lucas who sat just a few feet from them. “But that is exactly what makes this,” Bobby pointed in the space between them. “Perfect.”

He took a step back, his hand still holding Priya’s while another tucked into the pocket of his pants.

“I love you, more than I can express with my words, but I want to keep trying, again, and again, and again, until the end of our lives.”

Lottie grabbed Johnny’s hand, her eyes wide. She glanced at Shannon who sat on the other side of her and the ginger pressed a finger to her smiling lips.

“I don’t care when it happens, a week or a year from now, but-” slowly, he kneeled before her, almost tripping as he tried to keep balance standing on one knee. “Will you marry me?”

For a moment, it seemed like everything just froze. Kisa’s fingers stopped caressing the strings as they all waited for Priya's answer. Priya looked down at the man as if she saw him for the first time and nodded hastily, her voice breaking as she spoke, “Yes,” a tear ran down her cheek. “I will.”

She pulled him up, almost tripping them both as she kissed him, and the world exploded with a million fireworks. Bobby tried to put the ring on her finger, the air around them drowning in applause and cheers, people rushing to them, overwhelming the couple with hugs and kisses. He wanted it to be different, he wanted it to be just them, not half of the crew and rolling cameras - but somehow, it was still perfect. 

Finally, Priya managed to untangle herself from Lottie and Shannon hanging on her and turned to find Kisa. For a moment they just stared at each other, smiling, and then the older girl flung herself into Kisa’s arms, her emotions finally pouring out with happy tears.

“I fucking hate you,” Priya sobbed into her friend’s neck. “Just had to be all cute and make me emotional?”

The younger girl laughed, tightening her grip. “Just wait until the wedding, I’ll make you cry like a bitch.”

Priya chuckled as Kisa kissed her gently on the side of her head.

“I love you.”

As Bobby and Lucas made their way to the girls, Kisa swallowed hard, as if tasting the words before she said them quietly, “I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this story, leave kudos and comments, it means the world ♥️
> 
> Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3KLtSfHJKLhrGLlKQJXsob?si=uETU0hVXS_6S_TS29fI8AQ


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